Rant by a long-legged old lady!!!
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8 years ago
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carol_in_california
8 years agoRelated Discussions
Old Lady of the Mountain Coming Down
Comments (23)My cousins'only daughter died today of an aneurism, at 31. Your advice is good for me. I wrote him with the help of Hafiz; My sister.. "just gave me your sad news. It breaks my heart and I don't have a clue as to the comforting thing to say. I suspect there isn't much I can say and if I get started chances are I'll make you feel worse than you already do and I can only imagine what that is. Thirty-one years is simply not enough. Not for her and not for her children and certainly not for her Daddy. Yet with all the years we've been given, have we done so much more or better? It is the quality of the committment, how much you bring to the table that measures your life. I didn't know your girl, but knowing you I'm sure she gave it all she had. And the wish that we all have is that the world is better for us being here was most likely answered well. I can only send you my love." What is the key to untie the knot of your mind's suffering? What is the esoteric secret To slay the crazed one whom each of us Did wed And who can ruin Our heart's and eye's exquisite tender Landscape? Hafiz has found Two emerald words that restored me That I now cling to as I would sacred Tresses of my Beloved's Hair: Act great. My dear, always act great. What is the key To untie the knot of the mind's suffering? Benevolent thought, sound And movement. ******* How did the rose Ever open its heart and give to this world All its Beauty? It felt the encouragement of light Against its Being. Otherwise, We all remain Too Frightened. --Hafiz "I imagine a lot of people are going to require a great deal from you right now. You won't always have the words. You may have to put your own grief on hold for awhile, as you tend to your family. I don't envy you this time but so much can come from it if you pay close attention. I am sending you all my love and blessings for the courage and strength you may need." --your cousin The book sounds good. la...See Morenew to this forum - long rant! - advice appreciated
Comments (8)Barker_Tx, we are in Austin, Tx and if you have any suggestions, please email me at bevangel_72(at)yahoo.com. A big problem we're having is the cost of all the facilities in Austin. MIL gets about $1100/mo social security and about $900/mo investment income. All of her money is invested in CDs however and none of those mature until next March, so even though know she needs to start spending down the principal, we'd very much like to wait to cash one out to avoid the early withdrawal penalties. In the interim, DH and I are supplementing her living expenses. But, both our jobs are currently "shaky" so we really can't afford to supplement more than about $1000/mo and even that is a MAJOR stretch. If either of us actually loses our jobs, we're going to eat through our own financial cushion very very fast! In Amarillo, MIL's social security and investment income came really close to covering her expenses and she would cash out a CD about once a year to put enough in the bank to cover the rest of her expenses for the year. The only thing we were supplementing was her medication management at about $400/mo. Moving her down here and paying the $3000 non-refundable move-in fee to the Meridian ate thru pretty much all the extra cash she had on hand. So, until next March, we're going to have to supplement every penny above about $2000/mo that it costs her to live. As for the Meridian... I have talked to the administrators until I am blue in the face. They just keep shifting their stories to cover their a**es. First they claimed that they intended for another resident who attends almost all the activities in the main area to go and get MIL and befriend her... but that that resident moved out shortly after MIL moved in. When I pointed out that 1) they never TOLD us the volunteer resident had moved out and 2) THEY were the ones who made the promise and, if they couldn't find a volunteer to fulfill the promise, they should have assigned a staff member to do it, they changed their story. They NOW claim that the only activities they EVER promised to take MIL to were the ones in the Platinum Plus wing and that, if we understood anything else, it was just a misunderstanding on our part! They won't respond to the fact that we talked repeatedly about how much MIL enjoyed playing the dominoes game called Forty-two, which was shown on the MAIN schedule 3x per week and is NEVER shown on the Platinum Plus schedule, and which they very specifically stated they would make sure she got to play. They also ignore the fact that we talked very specifically about my concern that she would get lost trying to get all the way down to the main activity room by herself and discussed the need for her to have a scooter because it was too far for her to walk. The area where they hold their once daily platinum plus activity is right around the corner from MIL's apartment. She can find her own way there quite easily and doesn't need a scooter to go that far. But, "we only said we'd get her to the Platinum Plus activities" is now their story and they are sticking to it. As for the non-events on the health center calendar: According to the administrator, the "current events" activity on the health center calendar would have happened except that the volunteer that leads current events on the weekend was unexpectedly called out of town. The "worship services" on that calendar was a reference to the worship services happening in the Platinum Plus area (as if any one living in the Health Center could POSSIBLY have made it up there since it is at least a 5 minute walk by a healthy person!) The "social hour" was a reference to the fact that, about 3PM the nurse came around and gave each resident a cookie and some cranberry juice! As for the non-events on the Main Calendar: their story now is that "our independent residents lead most of the events that are scheduled and, if they decide not to hold them, we ask them to let us know so we can revise the calendar but, if they don't, that is nothing the Meridian can do." And, as for scheduled afternoon game time that didn't happen in the Platinum Plus wing: "our staff member was there at the scheduled time to lead the activity but none of the residents showed up, so after a few minutes, she left and went to take care of other duties." As I said, they're covering their a**es! As the situation now stands, MIL is back in her apartment and we have been told that they will "remind her of all activities, including those in the main building, when they go in to give her medications." They will also tell her where the activity is happening (as if she can possibly find it on her own) and that, IF a staff member "has time", one will walk her down to occasional activities in the main building. I would bet a million bucks that no staff member will ever have time!!!! Bottom line, she will be left to vegetate in her room until we can move her out. The only reason we even looked in Temple was that Austin seemed so expensive and, as one went further out from Austin the prices seemed to drop. We figured we could afford the time and gas to drive 50 miles to/from Temple once or twice a week more easily than the prices of similar places in Austin. BAD PLAN! Obviously the staff at these places need to know that family members can and will drop in at any time of the day or night! Otherwise some of them are going to take advantage of the fact that they can pretty much lie to you with impunity. I don't want to file a lawsuit or bring other legal action against the Meridian as long as MIL is still basically in their control. No telling how they might take it out on her! Further, a legal action would probably be unavailing because all the promises were made verbally --- nothing in the written contract about them. Once MIL is out though, I intend to sic the state on them for running an unlicensed assisted living facility and also to post bad reviews at every location I can find. Meantime, we're still looking for a good situation for MIL in or near Austin that is somewhere within reach of our budget....See MoreWhat decorating style makes you think "old lady"?
Comments (175)I thought about that distinction..travel and experiences vs things..to me, it's also not either or, it's both. I traveled less that I wanted to, planned to, yet quite a lot; most of things I love were bought or found during trips, whether several hour trip, or travel to faraway places. So that things I love they remind me of travel, experiences, certain people in my life..and travelling somewhere allows me to experience, to see people I love, to meet new ones, and to see and appreciate many wonderful things as well. Not all of them I'll be able to snatch and take with me, but I'll remember them. and most likely I'll snatch something small too:) So to me, it's two sides of a coin..the coin being, well..a journey. And each journey will be unique of course; but the point is to have it..recognize it...try to have a blast when possible, since once upon a time that journey will come to an end, and hard to know what the next one will feel like. Probably very unlike anything we imagine. I'm not afraid of becoming old lady(yes, I'm vain and shallow nevertheless lol, and would like to still look like I'm 28..))..I'm more afraid of not having a chance to become one..:) That'd be a pity.. And I hope to live to see my grandchildren one day, to love and to hold, you know, and I'm pretty sure they won't find me or my place ridiculous:) Funny, quirky, strange, different from what it will be(what it will be then?)-maybe. Well it's all cool. We don't take our journeys alone; others continue it, and they'll take from ours so much, even if no things will be left, no actual place, and very little memories....See MoreThis Old Lady's Calendar for September
Comments (22)Been to Physical Therapy 3 times so far this month, have 1 more scheduled for this month, and a follow up with *Cancer Doctor. Went to pain Clinic yesterday. Had injection on right shoulder + a total of 5 on my chronic left shoulder. I received (from the Pain Clinic,) a 5 page print out of all my physical problems. I've never gotten that before and really appreciate it. Note here * "Remember when Computers were supposed to save on paper?" Here are some of my problems, in no particular order. I had to Google some of those terms. * Another note: When I google medical words, I always use Mayo's site.) Osteoarthritis both knees; (both replaced some twenty years ago.) edema of left lower extremities, Spinal stenosis. Primary osteoarthritis of right shoulder. Chronic anti-coagulation. Neck pain. Pulmonary embolism, cervicalgia, 3 levels; wore a Monitor for 48 hours last week: permanent atrial fibrillation. Occlusion of left eye, glaucoma, some hearing loss, history of Mohs, dyspnea. *Re the Cancer doctor: two years ago, following a diagnosis of a blood clot in the left leg, I had breast surgery for that. No problem since then. I have had regular mammograms and follow ups. Almost forgot: One of my self- diagnosed problems is Memory Loss. I can't remember even when that happened exactly, or what it is called. It was not a compete Breast Surgery, just a portion of the left side. About the Mohs, I developed skin cancer from an old, old wart on my leg. Completely healed after the surgery. To read this makes me sound like a walking PDR. I have always checked carefully any symptoms of anything that might pop up. We have great doctors and an excellent hospital here. My stats as to blood pressure, weight, etc are all normal, but yes, my life has been changed a lot! Life is good, if you let it be. I have come to the conclusion that The Golden Years, in my case, have turned out to be Brass Plated!! And PS: Did I mention that two months ago I celebrated my Ninety Second Birthday? With my kids and grands and greats? I live alone. My DH was taken by colon cancer when he was 62 and I was 58. Second PS: My social calendar has become my DD's also. She retired at about the same time my problems came up. In the meantime I had given up driving because of my vision problems. She lives close by and that helps. God is Good!...See Moredees_1
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