I have Cahaba Lily and Giant White Spider Lily if you're interested in them to trade for some of your unusual stuff like the one pictured with the purple looking flowers, crocosmia bulbs or rooted brug cuttings. Obviously plants that do well in the desert, indoors or out. Info on Cahaba can be found here: http://nativeplantsfromala.blogspot.com/2010/03/most-beloved-lily-in-alabama-cahaba.html\ They do grow in moving streams and rivers and I've also seen them in a very large pond in a greenhouse in San Francisco but I and others grown them here in the desert in the ground with average water. They usually bloom here in the late summer even in high temps well over 100 deg. The plants are very impressive even when not blooming. These are pretty large bulbs. The giant spider lily grows up to 5 or 6 ft. tall and produces 12 in. wide bloom clusters of 35 to 40 white 5in spider shaped blossoms which are very fragrant. I have rooted pups of these about 6 in. tall. These do best with afternoon shade if grown in high temp areas. Let me know here if you're interested and we'll communicate through e-mail.Thanks!

Saschja, I just now saw this comment from you in July......never got a notice in e-mail. So sorry to have not responded. You can e-mail me directly at free2bebrian and the @ and then gmail.com. My name is Jan. We still have walking sticks, but have managed to keep them limited. Takes a lot of plucking. The best remedy I found is watering the plants and watching for them moving out of the wet zone. They don't like water. Then I grab them and either kill them, which I hate doing, or put them in the yard waste bin. The problem with not killing them is the risk that they just get put somewhere else via the yard waste recycling. Mostly I suck up my buddhist impulses and kill them. But its hard. Write to me and we can talk directly. The brown and green are the same, just adjusted to the different color plant part they are on usually. So sorry you have a major infestation. Not a good sign for PG. Jan

All of this has been interesting to read and to help me put things in perspective. I also, have had many moments where I have hated my 95 year old Craftsman home. I purchased it about 1-1/2 years ago but was not able to actually move into it for several months, as the person who lived in it prior for 30 years had let it fall into quite a state of neglect. Even when we finally moved in - I had no running water in my kitchen for many weeks. I, having been working in the field of architecture for the same amount of time, saw beyond it's sad state to the good bones it has. Did all the right things; got my inspections, had the advice of good people including my old bosses on board to help with renovations. Even my main contractor was a friend from that job (I'm actually in administration in that field but have learned quite a bit about design and building practices second hand from being around them for so long). However, even with all that knowledge behind me, and even with paying a very good price for the home, I found myself spending more than twice I expected on renovations and I'm still nowhere near done. There were times were I would come home and literally cry myself to sleep in a panic of how I was ever going to pay for everything which needed to be repaired that we didn't anticipate; things that were hidden from the inspection like the near re-enactment of the bathtub scene from "The Money Pit" where it comes crashing through the floor through the ceiling below (mine, had we not had to take down the kitchen ceiling, and discovered the tub was being held in place by "tinker toys" more or less, certainly would have fell through at some point if we had filled it with water). I've spent $22,000 on new electrical and lighting and other miscellaneous repairs after the fact. $10,000 on plumbing. $15,000 for 27 new windows. I don't even know what my kitchen cost me because you have to figure in some of the costs above into it; so what? $40,000? (the kitchen was a disaster area and it had to be completely gutted). I had a jungle of weeds and ivy, cracked concrete and crap as a garden and the City was mandating I remove it (I have a TCO on the house and much of what I am doing I literally have to do to clear the TCO), landscaping cost me over $12,000 (I did put in a new paver patio, glad I did). My chimney/fireplace needs repairs - it's unsafe, that's costing $6000. I need regrading of my side yard and drainage underground - $5200. About to paint the house, another $5200 (house is stucco). New gutters $2200, Added central a/c $8000 (did get a rebate back on that). Oh and contractor payments $20,000. There's more, another $40,000 that have added up of miscellaneous stuff; emergency repairs, things necessary for the home, etc. I still don't have furniture for my guest bedroom. The interior needs painting badly. My main bathroom is falling apart - every day another tile comes off the wall. The attic needs better insulation. I have no backsplash in the kitchen yet. I have unfinished carpentry items around the house. My floors need refinishing. I 5 doors which need replacement. Water issues in the basement (contractor is pretty sure the new gutters will take care of it for the most part). I need window treatments everywhere (currently have very cheap stuff up but at least it's something). There's other furniture I need here and there. My closets could use systems in them - they were built with minimal shelving. On and on and on. And yet when people see and walk into my home, they are mesmerized. The LOVE it. Compliment me on how far it's come since I purchased it. Love it's uniqueness (well I do too - it seems to be a cross between a Craftsman and Victorian and it's made from terra cotta brick which is unusual in my area). But when I look at it, I'm depressed. It still looks dismal. All I see are all the repairs still to be done and the fact that my money isn't holding up (although since my mortgage wasn't huge to begin with, I just did a re-finance already, and took hopefully enough out to do nearly everything left to finish up - other than the bathroom, which I'll have about half of what I need). I just feel like at 52 years old, I'll be dead before I see this house done. And it isn't like I have kids to leave it to either. It truly does feel like a money pit to me. My partner and I have like no money to enjoy ourselves (he had been out of work for over 2 years, and JUST finally went back to work). I'm the one who owns the house, so every penny goes back into the house now. The only good thing, is that I have a very stable job and I feel that I can keep looking forward to increased salary over time, so hopefully I'll be able to keep up with the repairs. But oh my, like everyone else, it feels so daunting and overwhelming most of the time. I thought about bailing out several times and taking the (huge) loss - I still do - but I love the house too much to throw in the towel yet. Probably not ever. It's a curse, and a blessing. We're happy here, very happy.

All of the posts on this thread made my head ache. I am a step mom. But before I was a step mom, I raised three children (as a single parent for many years) and I was in my ex's three children's life for seven years. (we never married but their mom saw them, maybe once a year) So, I can see both sides as a step mom AND bio mom. My son also had a step mom and I have a step mom as well. First, I would say that if dad doesn't spend much time with his first child when you were just dating, then it should have been a clue before you married him and then had another child with him. He does not sound like an interested parent at all, regardless of how involved he says he was the first time. His actions in your presence when he was BF speak volumes about his desire to parent. Second, you have a choice to build a relationship with his daughter or not. There's no need to resent HER. She didn't choose to be born, she didn't choose to have a disinterested father, she has NO choice in her living situation. I would also disagree that you should resent your DH because you KNEW he didn't spend time with her, yet you still married him. YOUR BAD!! Not his. Third, if she has a problem with you, it is most likely due to her dad (which I'm sure she wishes he paid more attention to her) paying more attention to YOU and now the new baby. It's normal in an intact family when a new baby comes along that the older child might feel jealous. Befriending her and letting her "help" with the baby might make her feel a part of the family. If she is following you, she sounds interested. One thing that I have not seen addressed here (and I'm fairly new to this forum) is feelings toward the child based on the other parent. My SD looks & acts like her mom, which kinda makes it a little harder to get along sometimes. That is something you have to acknowledge if it's a problem and then work on separating it mentally. I do realize it shouldn't have anything to do with it and I do remind myself all the time that she's not a mini version of her mom. She acts like her mom because children model after their parents. And I guess if you dislike the other parent and that child reminds you (or your spouse) of the other parent, it can cause problems. And lastly, we all think our new babies are "perfect" and in a way, they are. That is, until we screw them up with our baggage and issues. If your child grows up with a mom that can resent a five year old for existing, then that WILL affect him. That is his sister whether you like it or not. He will resent you if you damage that relationship. Your husband may or may not care about his relationship with his daughter but if he does care and you are the reason she gets out of his life, HE may resent you too.