It will have meaning and a history, which automatically makes it desirable. It also makes it more interesting because no one else's rooms will look like yours. It is one of the best ways to avoid trends, as I've often said.

As always, can't wait to see what you do.

We sort of have this phenonomenon. Around here it's what we have found that we like in flea markets. I am sure you will pull it off very well. Collected would be another good word, wouldn't it?

Absolutely, I understand opportunistic decorating. A lot of our stuff came from our parents. Initially I wasn't exactly thrilled with some of it (except for the rugs I had coveted forever). But as time passed and I realized how nice it is, and how comforting it is to me to live in a house that looks like the one I grew up in, I am so grateful for it. I would never have bought most of this stuff, but in a weird way it suits me far better than what I would have chosen at the time.

One of my bigger regrets is that I didn't take more of my mother-in-law's furniture after she passed. I was newly married in my 20s and naive. She had many beautiful pieces and entire rooms were offered to me and I foolishly declined. Now in my 40s I could make it work because my style has evolved and I'm less worried about trends and more about the quality and character of individual pieces. I'm sure you can make this work.

I recently stopped by a consignment shop next to an affluent neighborhood and got to talking with the women running the shop. She said it was a shame the children of all of these wealthy families who were downsizing didn't want their parents' furniture.

I think opportunistic is the wrong word. For me, that word gives a negative connotation.

I live in a post and beam house with some family furniture that doesn't really work and a couple of pieces aren't all that great quality either. (like the sideboard that my uncle made 63 years ago in Woodworking 12 but the lines fit our home). I have another sideboard that is a family piece from 1870 that was the jumping off point for my new kitchen. I like the furniture because it taxes my imagination on how to fit it in but it's something I want to do because of the warm feelings that it evokes - the history of family and the connections.

The furniture that I buy, I buy with the style of my house in mind because I love the lines of it and I love the furniture that goes with it.

How about serendipity instead, or a decorating adventure or new fork in the road, but opportunistic - no.

I am not sure I would've taken my parents' furniture when I was in my 20s. I think maybe we are still differentiating ourselves from our parents at that point? I also didn't own an apartment until I was in my mid thirties, so was hesitant to have anything too nice.

I actually think a lot of trends start because designers look at what is available on the auction market. Florida was flooded with 1950s-60 MCM when the original owners were dying off. A lot of 1980s things are starting to show up now, because of the age of the original owners, who are downsizing, going into assisted living, or dying. So this is taking advantage of what is available, and it's pre-trend when it first enters the auction market, and relatively inexpensive.

You seem to be a master at the art of recognizing opportunities!

ETA: I started accepting my parents' furniture in my 20s. Curved black sectional sofa, turquoise accent chair, gray wood tables, and Kwan Yin figural lamps.

I would have taken the Kwan Yin lamps starting at about age 12 on...:)

I can relate. My mother's furniture was not to my taste so it mostly went. My in-laws stuff from their NYC apt, a lot of it went, but I did keep a few pieces that I really like and use to this day. The result is an eclectic style which I tend to tie together with color. A lot of the furniture from the old house was not to my taste so I got rid of it....a lot of the furniture DH still loves and can't part with so it sits aging in our barn. It's a lot of what was considered "country" in the 30s...hard rock maple with no elegance or ease. I'm sure someday it will come back, but don't ask me when.

I don't have the knowledge base or decorating sense that everyone else here does - but I completely understand this post. I've done the exact same thing. 20 years ago, when I was first starting out, I gladly accepted family donations for furniture. All I could afford to buy back then was pressboard crap. Other people in my family had the same opportunity that I did - but everyone else all wanted "new stuff." So they all bought "new stuff" - most of which fell apart and/or is now garbage. I got all the good stuff! :) My hand-me-downs are still solid as a tank, and now as I'm getting older, the family history is even more significant to me.

Much of my mothers furniture was sold. But she did have some lovely pieces I have. I will be decorating a brand new house we are building and I am incorporating all furniture that is in good condition from my old house. So it will be an eclectic mix. Several beautiful chairs of my mom's as well as a few other things that are family heirlooms. I'll stand back and see what it looks like and go from there if I think anything needs to be changed.

Pal, you have impeccable taste. Your statement: " I will be selling some of my furniture to accommodate their furniture" speaks volumes. You are making room for furniture that means something to you, and knowing you, your accommodations will be beautifully executed. The likely result will bring much happiness to you because you are making a conscious choice to be surrounded by furniture that evokes fond memories and comfort for you. I applaud you for your effort and await you future postings.

Yes, and you would not be selling "some" of your furniture if you were that attached to it anyway. Trust your gut, you will make it work and if it doesn't, learn from it and move on.

I didn't like my mother's furniture in my 20's and I still don't like it. When I began to outfit my apartments in the mid-70's I raided my grandmothers home and, if they let me, the basements of her contemporaries. i don't know if it came from living through a couple of wars but their tastes were very simple. Good quality furniture with simple lines. I am sitting at my grandmothers dining room table which is about 90 years old and it is very simple and suits my home. (Well I would love a live edge table which would really suit it but I don't have the budget for that)

My mothers furniture along with my MIL's is, for me, horrible. I don't know where the furniture was bought or perhaps it's just a matter of taste but way too detailed for me.

Pal - I look forward to hearing about your furniture and what you choose to include in your home and how you choose to do so. I hope you will share some of your decisions.

I try not to get attached to furniture, sometimes I do. There are things I would have a hard time letting go of, but other things I understand are just serving a function. And they may serve someone else better.

When I got my first home so many of my pieces were hand me downs from friends and my parents. I always got compliments on the throw aways. For example, a friend gave me a chair that he found on the street near his college apartment. It was a hideous, filthy gold velvet. But I reupholstered it (it had a good solid wood frame) and it has served me very well over the years. My landlady has the most wonderfully decorated apartment and all of it comes from her flea market visits. She just has an eye for great stuff. She has gorgeous curtains and even sheets that are high end and seem new to me, all from garage sales and Goodwills.

Can I ever relate! So much of what I have, and DO love, was my in-laws. It's all fairly traditional, which fits in with my 'French country on the cusp' sort of style, but in my mind's eye, harmonize beautifully. We gave many things away, but I always had a fondess for the things which really had sentimental value, such as a dresser made by DH grandfather in Denmark, and traveled to the US when he brought his family here. Hearing the stories, and actually having something that is tangible, can take you back in time and make you feel as though you were *almost* there. Those are things you hold dear forever.

I understand it when it is due to it is THAT or nothing..I don't understand taking it, spending money on it (upholstery), getting rid of what I have to accommodate it, just because I perceive it as being "more expensive" than what I have. It doesn't even sound like you particularly LOVE it. I do not understand "history" for history sake. If YOU have a memory attached and what that kept alive..I get that.. Mostly I understand gathering/purchasing/filling a home with things you love just because you love them..I really have little interest in hearing about a home that is furnished for a certain LOOK...that sounds sterile to me and I think that is perceived when one walks into a home that is designed for SHOW.

Yes, it's an opportunity, and a good one. I did the same thing ten years ago when we sold my mom's house and ended up taking just about everything that no one else wanted. The only thing I asked for was a pair of lamps; (I guess Kwan Yin also?) and I would have been happy to just have those. But we soon realized that most of her other things didn't have any takers from within the family. So I gulped and said I'd take it all and I had it shipped from Chicago to NC, including a full DR set, a large rug, several tables, lamps, chests, you name it. Crazy, but I did it, and have not regretted a thing. My mom would have been horrified at any sort of tag sale, and CL wasn't part of our world then, so part of my motivation was for her sake. It has taken several years but everything has gradually become part of our home and I'm so happy it's here. I knew she had great taste and if she hung on to something, there was generally a good reason. In time that has become even more apparent. I'm sure that will be the case with your parent's things, too. I'm happy for you and know you will enjoy working with the treasures you have acquired. Good Luck!

It's a lot easier, IMHO, to incorporate eclectic yet solid pieces of furniture into a home's style, than it is certain pieces of art, like that "dogs playing poker" photo your dad loved. That's the trouble I'm having now with my parents house. Mom died and dad is moving to a condo. Mom had exquisite taste, dad . . . not so much. I'm trying to convince him to take many of his beloved contributions from the house to his condo, many tchotchkes I know my mom hated! Most of the beautiful pieces from mom have some story behind them. The trouble I'll have is when my SO and I get married and combine our things. He doesn't have the same taste as me and just doesn't like certain things. For example, my mom was a teacher in Japan in the mid 50's and has tons of absolutely beautiful things that are now valuable antiques. I had a friend from Japan visit me in the 80's and she remarked that you can't even find some of these things in Japan anymore--like ivory carvings and lacquer ware. But to my SO, they are just things in a style he doesn't like. I love all of them. Hopefully we can compromise. He's getting his own "man cave" to decorate however he wants!

I'll respond to or add to some of the commentary, and it will get long, be philosophical, and to some extent self-referential and I apologize for that I don't agree or quite understand with every comment, but in disagreeing or saying that I don't think you quite get what I mean, I am not trying to discount your opinion.

I used the word "opportunistic" without the pejorative sense, from the Oxford Dictionary:

"exploiting chances offered by immediate circumstances without reference to a general plan or moral principle "

because I think you can make some decisions without a guiding morality, and taking a free piece of offered furniture is one of them. (You're not deciding whether to steal it or not).

to compare "serendipitous" :

"occurring or discovered by chance in a happy or beneficial way"

getting free furniture can be beneficial, but this isn't a chance occurrence. The furniture has been there for 40-45 years. Serendipity would be finding the mate to one of your antique chairs at Goodwill.

I took one piece of furniture, the LR sofa, because my father seemed particularly interested that someone take it. I like it fine. I think it will actually fit better in this house than the one of have, so I will get rid of that one. I like that one fine too. It's definitely made better than the one I have. I think this is more by chance. The sofa I have may actually be more "expensive" because it's actually a sofa by a known mid-century company and there is a picture of in Architectural Digest in 1970. I didn't know that when I bought it for $200 and it had an auction lot number written on it in black Sharpee. I happen to have an eye for good things that is slightly ahead of the curve. (That is my first self-referential boast, I will try to limit them).

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Okay. I understand and believe in history for history's sake. Completely. Not necessarily for a piece of furniture, but for some inanimate objects, yes.

I try not to "love" furniture. Loving an inanimate object that can't possibly return the affection is bound to lead to boredom and disillusionment. (Hell, even loving something that loves you back can.) Furniture is first and foremost a functional object. I think you should like it, I think you should suit each other, but I don't think you need to feel passionate about it. Strong emotions can be ephemeral. Think about all the times we read in these forums: " I loved it when I bought it, and now I hate it!" Or the advice "Do what you love! and it will be great!" And the results are actually a jumbled mess. You probably love a lot of different people for a lot of different reasons, and many of them would probably be ambivalent about each other or even hate each other. But they all work for you. Just not in the same room. (In both cases, actually.) So I don't love all my furniture. I love some of it for it's looks and some of it for it's meaning--and some of it is just there to serve it's purpose. Like an employee. It's good to like your employees. But it's not good to hook up with them.

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arcy_gw said:

" I really have little interest in hearing about a home that is furnished for a certain LOOK...that sounds sterile to me "

I understand this statement and I don't. I agree with it and I don't.

First, I am always a little surprised to read a statement like this from someone who frequents a decorating forum. I also think it's a bit of a harsh statement to level at a group of people who are in actuality, furnishing a home for a certain "look". That's what a lot of the threads are about: what's dated, what's trendy, what looks good together, how to achieve a certain look...that's what most people in these forums are interested in. For many of them, if they were interesting in decorating only to suit themselves, in a purely personal style, they wouldn't be on these forums, they'd be doing something else.

I have to a agree that the results are often "sterile". Look at the most popular pictures on Houzz. A lot of it looks very stylish-- and very impersonal. It's become very popular for some reason. People are concerned about resale, people want a living room that looks like a luxury commercial space, a master suite that looks like a luxury spa, a "cooks" kitchen. "Staging" has taken over for "decorating". I see houses in real estate that I think are completely staged for the photos until it's quite obvious that someone actually lives there like that.

But I don't think that decorating for a specific look is always sterile, I think decorating for a look can be highly personal.

I am talking here about taking a bunch of furniture. I am not talking about transplanting a room intact from one place to another. It will still be personal, and it will probably be more personal than if I went and picked out a bunch of new furniture on my own.

My sister took all of her childhood bedroom furniture. She put it in a room that had white furniture from Target and an antique bed. I posted her childhood furniture on GW and someone said they would rather have the white furniture from Target, they would rather have Nothing and sleep on an air mattress instead of that dated ugly furniture. It's Louis XV style...that's uglier than Target? I dunno, not in my opinion. Anyway we recreated her old BR with more contemporary window treatments and a lot of artwork she's accumulated and it's charming I think. Dated sorta, but not sterile, and not impersonal. Her Topo Gigo is on one of the beds.

I think I definitely go for a Look. But I will wager that it's less sterile than 75% of the pictures on Houzz. When I sold my last apartment I asked the Realtor if I should "depersonalize" and she said No. Plenty of people did not like the apartment because it was a third floor walkup, because it had only one bathroom, because the condo fee was high. But I got a lot of positive feedback about how much personality the décor had. That's the second self-referential boast so I'll stop for now.

I loved the word "opportunistic" and said to myself "EXACTLY" as soon as I read the thread title. I'm in the middle of a similar dilemma but with my in laws artwork. Totally get it!!

I just stopped by to finally comment and just read your last comment and my comment went out my head. That is so beautiful Pal! I wholeheartedly agree with you. It's not always about what it is, but the love and the memories that come with the objects that should count.

I actually believe I was much better at decorating before I had money because I was forced to be creative and more true to myself when using free hand me down and cast off pieces . My first abode was almost all cast offs and it was the home I most frequently got complimented about. Now with money and ease I have lost that passion to make it work and my home is more finished but less creative and more generically sterile.

Taking inherited pieces and personalizing them offers one an opportunity to add both uniqueness and history to a home. This opportunity will allow you to enjoy your childhood memories while also providing new ones along the way in a stylish home.

I'm still kicking myself. When I was almost 26 my parents sold everything and moved to Costa Rica. I took essentially nothing. Should have, I missed some great stuff.

"That is my first self-referential boast, I will try to limit them."

And this is why I love reading Pal's posts. Always. Even though I almost choked this time!

I haven't faced this dilemma yet with my parents, but it is coming. The problem I am going to have is that while I like some of their things, I love my things. I don't know that I am willing to get rid of anything to make room. To top it off, DH and I have been thinking about downsizing, so I am already going through in my mind what would go with us and what would not. Not easy.

But I do know if that the few family things I have (from both sets of grandparents) mean so much to me every time I see or use them.

Pal not only writes great posts, but has great style. He doesn't follow trends and isn't afraid to step outside the box. No doubt his renovation will be met with applause from many of us.

Sochi, me too. My mother and father had a codicil to their wills made when my siblings and I were in our teens. She asked each of us to name what items of theirs we wanted. I asked for the Kwan Yin lamps, her silver, and china. She started collecting the silver prior to her wedding and it's the same pattern I chose upon my marriage. Her brother sent her the china purchased during his R&R from the Korean War. Upon my mother's death, I gave the silver and the china to my nephew and his wife. I really wish I had kept the china.

I actually needed these posts to ponder right now. DH's family will be downsizing next year and they offered us some furniture. One thing was a Schrank that they bought in Belgium when stationed over there. We deliberated some as these are big pieces of furniture and I had something picked out already that would serve the function but we had to admit that obtaining the pieces we wanted could have been far into the future so we decided to take some of the pieces that we felt could work for us and our lifestyle. It was hard to find the right line for us. We did insist that we were not going to be storing furniture in the hopes that our children would want it when setting up house (they are 8, 11, 14, and 17).

DH accepted the buffet and china cabinet from his grandparents. If I had seen the pieces in an antique store, I never would have bought them. The buffet is about 7-8 feet long, and 3 feet or so deep. I call it the beast. It took me a long time to reconcile myself to the fact I would not be getting the furniture that fit my vision but I am starting to be able to appreciate it. One of the reasons others have been reluctant to take on furniture is that they already have their furniture, or the furniture does not fit the houses they live in (size wise, no formal dining room in a somewhat smaller house can mean no room for a china cabinet, especially in the open concept houses with few walls).

Pal, that last sentiment of yours was truly beautiful and many more of us would do well to remember it.

It's an interesting idea, because I'm not afraid of the "dogs playing poker" kinds of things, because they can be worked into a design if they speak to you. I once visited two summer cottages on the same day--one was a jumbled mess of hand-me-downs and eclectic art and well worn antiques. You felt good there, it was "comfy" and when viewed all together, had an aesthetic. Then I visited the other house, it was nice things, less cluttered, open and airy in the color scheme, more refined. It was also "comfy." And yet when I walk into other homes that are a jumbled mess of hand-me-downs they aren't comfy and same with a fancy home full of beautiful things. Surely there are design aesthetics that create an inviting and beautiful, harmonious feeling for a home, ways to incorporate what you love in a way that meshes harmoniously with the whole. Isn't that the essence of Feng Shui, even though I think it has gotten a little lost in translation. I'm sure there are other schools of thought on this issue. I just know, having now toured dozens and dozens of home looking for one to buy, that certain homes give off a inviting atmosphere and what makes that happen is varied. A home with history can also be tasteful.

I know once a friend said about my place, "This home gives off such a comfortable vibe." A lot of my ideas came from the "Use What You Have" book of decorating by Lauri Ward and another book I can't remember but I remember it had no photos and was somewhat smallish, and it showed how to arrange pictures on a wall and place table and lamps, etc. to create harmony. That's what my dad has a hard time doing. I remember my mom used to say that my dad could appreciate nice things but had no idea how to see the big picture of how individual pieces went together. He's having a hard time right now with my mom's death and I'm seeing his mind is also very cluttered and his energy is very scattered. So sometimes emotions are reflected in a house in interesting ways, to say the least.

Delilah, that shape of plate is completely back in, Vera Wang's latest collection of china has plates in that size and shape!