I know a lot of the moms(and maybe their daughters)are interested in how things are going in this situation with the gym class difficulties(which almost became a phobia of avoidance for Kimmy). A lot of the girls on the gURL website(her own peers)told her to SUCK IT UP and get on with life BUT many have offered her EXCELLENT suggestions for solving these issues and showing improvement. She was upset at the SUCK IT UP Comments but she realized the girls had all passed PE Class and she has not. Kimmy and I do have good communication(now that she is living with me and the Gossip Girls type social clique from her past is a thing of the past with me). She and I read her own entries on the gURL website about this issue and they were WHINEY and immature for a 9th Grader.Kimmy is making progress toward solving this. Again many of the comments on the websiteto her from girls who have taken an interest have been supportive and several offered excellent strategies to improve her physical fitness. Here we go with the progress as the First Nine Week Grading Period ended at the school on Friday. Her two PE Teachers met with me and Kimmy will get a C (passing grade) 70 (lowest possible passing grade at that school)for Physical Education. With the P(Passing) Grade brought with her from that class at the public high school in North Carolina for five of the nine weeks(PE/Health was taught in a computer lab with interactive software...casual clothes,flipflops,snacks,you get the image. Actual physical activity -free choice-was 30 minutes on Fridays there... I know many of you,like me,don't see the logic of Physical Education taught by computer,but very few public schools even require specific physical fitness classes with vigorous fitness requirements even as the state of youth health in the U>S> declines. Health Education could certainly be taught with software but Physical Education....GIVE ME A BREAK as they say on the television program with John Stoessel.With the emphasis in the public schools on basic ACADEMIC SKILLS testing many public schools have or are eliminating physical education requirements,health/safety ed.,the arts,home economics/consumer living,vocational ed.,continuing on and on.I know it my heart it was the right decision to transfer my daughter to an all girls private school here in Virginia. I really think there is an opportunity for Kimmy to experience support but demands,high standards,and leadership development/community service. The comments many of you made to my original entry(OP) about a week ago have been both helpful and thoughtful,most recently from plumbly 22. Because Kimmy's PE grade was passing from the transfer school,she got an excellent(28 out of 30 points)on the written Field Hockey Skills Test for the first unit this year,30 of 50 points on the performance skills testing(fitness,field hockey,beginner ballet,beginning swimming class-Red Cross Level I completed---one step forward) and 12 points participation(including a very generous 10 points from the transfer class since it was ungraded at that school...S/U or P/F symbols;2 points were granted for Kimmy completing 2 hours of the PE Detention last week as the grading period ended)resulting in a score of 70. The ladies told Kimmy that the non-participation/dressing out/not showering after PE Class/ballet/swimming was at an end. The transfer points from her previous school was at only for the first grading period. Kimmy told them that she was going to get the remaining 4 hours of PE Detention served next week and NEVER AGAIN. Those sessions are very hard on her (think two PE Teachers,several girls as gym assistants,and constant activities...military boot camp style...you get the image.. Kimmy was proud of herself for getting through two afternoons of that and not passing out but yes,you guessed it,she did throw up both sessions but the other girls did not laugh at her the second day. They offered her some of their bottled water and helped her keep going until it was finished.) The ladies told Kimmy that the girls serving as student gym assistants were there to help them but Kimmy doesn't buy that part. It's a peer thing and that new kid at school situation. When you see some girls able to do the activities so well and yes,look so good in their work out clothes which of course,the assistants get to CHOOSE,its easy for a younger student to see the "glass half empty" instead of half-full. The PE teachers explained to Kimmy the solution for the wet hair(except the chlorine remains on swim class day) was a shower cap since PE/ballet/swim class for 9th Graders is first class bell(90 minutes) each day. Except for the swim class day,no wet hair for her the other days at school. Hair that air dries sticks out on her..she says she looks like a porcupine. The TEMPORARY SOLUTION to the gymsuit issue is the combination blue shorts/blue leotard with white knee type athletic socks/athletic shoes...you get the visual image..I am still trying to find some remote source for the blue onepiece gymsuit Kimmy threw away(not "lost"). The reason the school does not have any larger size (XL) gymsuits remaining this year is that they repurchase them from Senior Girls at the end of each school year to use for the upcoming school year as needed. The school has massive amounts of the gymsuits in smaller sizes from years in the past(think 1950's,1960's) but they don't fit Kimmy due to the one-piece style. I'm still trying to locate a source and feel perhaps there may be some girls private school somewhere they may have an XL size. 5'6",150 lbs.(Kimmy and I are both working together on the weight issue too). Showering after PE Class/ballet/swimming is not an option but Kimmy was allowed to wear her bathing suit except on swim class day itself when the suit has to be removed because of the chlorine. This is really a compromise Kimmy understands - 1 day butt naked instead of 5. With PE/swim Class being first class of the day(you can imagine how the 9th Grade Girls react to that when Senior Girls have PE last class period then go home or to activities/dorm rooms,etc.)I explained to Kimmy the hygiene aspects and that swimming pool chlorine can affect the body as well as the hair color. I talked with Kimmy about my getting her doctor(still a pediatrician and you know how she reacts to those office visits with the little kids staring at her and laughing and their moms quieting them but that's another story for another day)to write a note of permanent excuse from Physical Education Requirements or a note requesting the Adapted PE Class but Kimmy almost jumped out of the car. Then I realized the true impact of peer pressure on girls today. Something may be difficult or embarrassing,but they are in together and have to solve it together(with hopefully their moms support and understanding). As she put it,Kimmy said it was tough for her,but she knew she was going to solve it not drop it. Being the ONLY 9th Grader in a study hall(instead of PE) or the only 9th Grade girl without a true medical restriction in the Adapted/individualized PE /swim Class would have certainly resulted in more negative peer pressure and emotional scenes. In no way is the problem solved but there has been progress. The PE Teachers told Kimmy the PE Unit next grading period was Gymnastics/Tumbling (you should have seen her eyes as she was thinking about the balance beam and rope climb requirements),beginner ballet continues(PINK Leotard and everything although we both laugh WITH each other now that she looks like the Energizer Bunny on the television ads....you can only imaginethe image of PINK everything from the hair tie down to the slippers)and she now has to start Red Cross Level II Swim Requirements(she still sinks but I reminded Kimmy the girls serving as pool assistants who are on the swim team get her above the surface again and that her skills and swim endurance will improve with practice). Passing the Skills Level I swim test was a boost to her confidence. The school swim test comes again in January as first semester ends. I continue to show Kimmy all of the entries on this forum as I think many of the moms (and their daughters) are pulling for her success and do understand improvement is difficult but possible(the "glass half full" Concept not half empty).Kimmy understands that. I also have her in Aquatic Fitness Class with me to improve confidence in the water and endurance. She is in the Red Cross Babysitting/CPR Class two evenings where the Red Cross instructors also take the time to review swimming test requirements with her;youth bible study is one evening,and I am starting her activity with a neighbor (she is a Certified PE Teacher and teaches at the elementary school level not at Kimmy's School) to help Kimmy prepare for the Series 10 Physical Fitness Test in mid-November at her school(the Monday-Wednesday of the Thanksgiving Week)(10 fitness tests in 3 days,100 possible points,passing grade of 70 C required,which counts as the first semester exam;testing repeated in June for second semester). Each student has to choose the order of the events they will do(4 events day 1,3 events day 2,3 events day 3 with one retake allowed on day 3 among all the events if a score of 70 had not been earned). Maybe some of the moms(and their daughters) might remember those physical fitness tests since obviously there must be a strategy from a physical standpoint,as to events to group together. In my days of PE(1980's) we simply did them as one group,everyone doing the tests at the same time. At this school,to develop decision-making and self-responsibility skills,the girls rotate to event stations in the order they choose but they are responsible for the results and their endurance over the 3 days. Any ideas for a strategy there or maybe your daughters might have some ideas. Kimmy is now interested in being on the Field Hockey team next year and it seems to be a sport that could be started at high school age. She is still trying to come up with a solution to the whacks on the butt and back of the thighs with the hockey sticks during the PE Class hockey activity but I told her on a team,her teammates would look out for each other. She has not yet come up with a solution in PE Class when some of the other girls come up behind her during the game with rough stick play...new kid experience again...and again) and Kimmy does not want to risk more PE Detention Hours. She feels she would be the one punished for fighting/lack of sportsmanship. She is trying to be cooperative with the gym teachers. Those ladies made a believer of her with the PE Detention. I knew I could not show up there but you can only imagine how bad I felt for her getting off the activity bus last Thursday and Friday at 6:00 and simply going to bed. Please keep the ideas and support coming. It's good karma. I show Kimmy all the feedback here(but you guessed it,she only shows me SOME of the girl feedback from the sisterhood of the gURL website,as I think about it,probably very little of the girl chat,it's like a diary in our day). Kimmy's other report card grades first 9weeks were 4 A's,2 B's,C(Latin) and the C(PE) but Kimmy knows the PE Grade could have been much worse and there is an opportunity for success. Now it's own to gymnastics/tumbling(new experience for her as well as me). Fencing and Girls Basketball from the 1980's did not prepare me for all the fitness opportunities girls/women have now. Thanks for your feedback and support.Kim J.

I have never really understood the whole cats-are-dirty and they walk all over everything argument. I don't know about you, but we eat off of plates on the dining room table. We do not eat directly off the table. So even if by some chance some microscopic fecal matter got onto the table, it wouldn't contaminate the food. Not to mention I regularly wipe the table down. My cats can go everywhere they want except the counters - there are just too many things to get into up there. I also don't understand the whole cat hair thing...I mean, they're animals, they shed hair. It can be annoying, but by no means do I think it's gross. We as humans shed pounds of dead skin cells every year that collects in sofas and beds. But we don't see them so it's different from cat or dog hair. Hair doesn't disgust me but it is a nuisance. And well taken-care of, non-abused cats that have been spayed or neutered *generally* don't spray in the house. Usually it is due to a behavioral or physical issue, both of which can almost always be solved. Sometimes it happens in old age but I would see it as no reason to get rid of an animal...that's like getting rid of my partner if he starts puking all over the house from cancer or something. As far as cat behavior, they are all so different, it's just hilarious! Our one cat Baloney, he's kinda a "special kitty", if you know what I mean. But he's loving and cuddly and that's all I can ask. Our other kitty (his name is Fatty) is a big Maine Coon, and he's goofy and smart as can be. He has chosen me as his best friend and he follows me around, curls up next to me (rarely on me though as Maine Coons are known to sit near but not on people), and he's just the goofiest thing ever. He doesn't really think too much of my partner. He tolerates him, and asks to be petted every once in a while, but the cat sees him as more of a fixture than anything. My partner is not a "cat person" and he doesn't have a particular affinity for cats so he doesn't really know how to react to Fatty's antics and personality. A few times my partner has went to pet Fatty and he 'scratched' my partner...knowing my kitty, I know that he was just trying to play and his claws weren't out or anything. He did it to me today...I walked by his little tree and he stuck his giant paws out to grab my shirt and play. My partner just doesn't get it. He's much more of a dog person. I love our dogs but I have a special bond with my kitties, especially Fatty. He's my little soul mate. I'm so glad I have them. My partner tolerates them. HE likes Baloney but Fatty he's indifferent towards.

I think it's interesting that, as feminism and self-empowerment becomes pretty much a given, that cosmetic and body modification and body display has all increased. a 1970s-era feminist would find clothing like this (and cosmetic surgery, and breast implants) self-demeaning and self-objectifying but a millennial feminist seems to find it all body-positive and empowering. I said before but my rule of thumb is: who is going to be seeing this, and where, and how are they getting there? These events are taking place in a closed environment, and to some extent the girls are dressing for each other. I am not sure that boys are paying attention to the clothing, and if the girls participate in sports and other activities these same boys and girls have seen each other in less. That said, I wouldn't really want to see the girls going into town or on public transportation dressed quite like some of these outfits. Objectively I guess, I don't find a lot of it particularly flattering but there are a lot of women's clothes that are not particularly flattering and emphasize the most minimal "flaws" right now. And sometimes you see this sort of thing on men, too, if you live in an urban area; super tight pants or shirts that don't really look so great.

I want an area to easily store tall laundry baskets while the laundry is being done so they don’t sit out in the middle of the room. Do you want the tall baskets to sit under the counter, or on top of it? Or in the closet? The lowers on the left will be extra deep and this will be our folding station with storage below, and drying racks above. Carefully consider putting any drying racks above waist level. I'm planning on dedicating an entire wall to wall-mounted drying racks, starting with the first row just high enough off the ground to accommodate pairs of 36" inseam jeans (definitely not mine, lol). I'd keep a folding step ladder between the racks, and go up as high as I can comfortably hang delicate items like undergarments. The sink wall will have two large windows and a pretty wall tile. I’m deciding between casement windows or just fixed to same a little $$. I love, love, LOVE windows in a Laundry room, and I'm totally diggin' the idea of putting a pretty tile/backsplash on the wall. Laundries don't have to be completely utilitarian, especially if you spend a significant amount of time in there. :-D Casement windows are my favorite, assuming they are compatible with the architectural style of your home, and they don't interfere with faucets when open (assuming you're going with in-swing?). I agree 100% with doing fixed/inoperable windows to be easier on the budget, rather than deleting windows entirely. With the hole already there, you have the easier option of replacing a fixed window with an operable one later. The right wall is the WD with uppers above those, and a hanging rod between the uppers and the window wall. One shelf above that rod. I'm a little on the short side, so I wouldn't be able to reach a hanging rod in this location, especially in the corner. :-( I don't particularly care for corners, in general, in Kitchens and Laundries, but sometimes they just can't be avoided. We haven’t yet decided on type of WD but meaning towards top loaders. I have had both top loading washers and front loading washers, and I won't ever again go back to front loaders. :-D I have a pair of Speed Queens now, that are a few years old, and I really like being able to open the top of the washer, and do my drying dance of Hang on the Left, Tumble on the Right. Having a door in the way of the racks would drive me nuts, lol. There are several other reasons I dislike front loading washers, but I acknowledge that they have their advantages for a lot of folks. The closet will probably have shelves and an open space for vacuums, brooms, etc. I noticed the conflict between the Laundry door and the closet door... Maybe consider leaving the closet door off entirely. It'll allow you to swing the Laundry door to open the other way, resting on the wall of the closet, instead of hitting the counter, cabinets, and shelving. We will have a pool so wet swimsuits will end up MJ here to dry often. I’ve considered a hanging rod on the sink wall for those to drip dry into the sink but not sure if I want that to interfere with our pretty windows. Creating a space *just inside the door* will help keep drips from overtaking the length of your Laundry room, preventing anyone from slipping. :-D Not only for swimsuits, but for wet towels (pool related and/or plumbing-flood related), cleaning rags, etc. I’d love to hear some thought, unique ideas, areas for improvement. How do currently like to fold clothes? Sitting or standing? If you like to sit, make sure to have a stretch of counter without cabinets underneath it, so you can comfortably put a cute accent chair there. If you don't already have charging stations anywhere, for rechargeable batteries and/or other devices, put outlets in the Laundry closet, at least counter-height off the floor. (But not, as my idiot tract builder did, 7' off the floor. For a standard vacuum cleaner. Ugh.) I really like how your Laundry room is easily accessed from your Master and (presumably, based on the Pantry's location) your Kitchen. I can't quite tell how it relates to the other bedrooms in the house -- but I think I see the last letter of what is probably the word "Hall" -- so the only thing I'd mention about it, is to make sure other family members can do their own Laundry without going through the Kitchen or the Work Zone of the Kitchen. I might have more later, lol. Unless you tell me to scram. :-D