The in laws came 4 weeks after we moved in. Problem was, the house wasn't done. So virtually every day they were here something was happening. Plus I didn't have window treatments on the windows which they hate even though nobody could see in anyway with the location...doesn't matter. ..

We had tried to put ppl off for a couple months but they were on the west coast anyway etc etc.

Don't let it stress you out.

I am not sure I would want to do 30 person holidays so soon after moving in. Just tell them the move was exhausting and that all the holiday dishes etc are not unpacked and that you hope someone else will host this or that holiday this year and what can you bring?

i might mention first that we're very casual people and i really don't care to much about other people's opinion, it's ours that count. about 5 weeks after moving in we hosted Thanksgiving dinner for 17 i loved every minute of it. one week later, we hosted a "Christmas" party for 52. i prepared red and white chili and the "fixins" and tamales (ordered those) and huge italian cream cake and drinks everybody brought a dish had a wonderful time

as i said, it's your opinion that counts if you don't want folks to come then ask them to please not come just tell your mil to please wait a few more weeks

zorroslw1's suggestions were very good......

Umm, my sister and kiddos came the weekend after we moved in - piles of clothes everywhere, boxes everywhere no barstools, beds were the only thing that were set.

It's hard to focus on the people when you are still trying to get settled and thinking - I could be doing this right now and no I don't know where that is. Maybe go about it that way and suggest if you wait you can be more about the fellowship and food vs still working through the business of getting settled and you just aren't ready to entertain yet.

Let them reserve their weekend- that is a weekend however far into the future you would be comfortable having them. If they get a date they wont just show up. And dont fret too much if your still not perfect by then- how much do you really notice when you go visit others?

It just makes me wonder, do people not find it disrespectful to invite themselves to your home, especially when we don't even live there yet... I'm not talking about my mother or dad that we don't knock at each other's houses. I'm talking about the people that you wouldn't help yourself to a drink in their house and they are assuming you want them, overnight, in your house immediately following moving in. It just flies all over me.

Just say, "Sorry. We can't host you yet."

Thanksgiving will be the one year mark for us. We haven't had an overnight guest yet. I think you should let them stay and trip over all your boxes. ;)

Our first overnight guests stayed in the basement way before the house was done. The upstairs was just dried in- no insulation, drywall, etc. Of course, it was our son and a bunch of his friends for a rafting trip. We also hosted Thanksgiving that fall, with everyone huddled in the basement trying to keep warm. Other overnight guests have included my BIL, and friends who parked their RV at our place for a couple days.

We just tell people that there are no amenities, and they get what they get. The food and friendship are great; things like HVAC and toilet facilities can be sketchy. We're almost done with the main house, but there is only one bedroom, so visitors will still stay in the basement. Eventually, there will be a finished BR and bath in the basement, plus we are planning a rustic great room for the barn, complete with its own bathroom.

Actually, WE'RE living in the basement right now while I install and finish the wood floors!

Yes I agree with you that it is disrespectful, I'd use the word rude, to invite themselves. It's one thing for someone to say, "I can't wait to see your place" and quite another for them to invite themselves to stay.

I would tell them the place isn't ready and if they really want to come visit the Holiday Inn nearby has rooms available.

DH and I moved into an apartment, 75 miles from where we lived before. We moved our stuff on Saturday; Sunday we went back to the old apartment and cleaned, so when we got back to our new place Sunday night we were exhausted (and hadn't even begun unpacking).

My best friend's parents showed up unannounced Sunday. They were traveling across the country in a small RV, and were passing through. They slept in the camper, but used our kitchen (such as it was) and bathroom.

Anyone that helps me move can spend the night.

If you have such a close relationship with these guests that they feel free to invite themselves to your place, then you should be able to just say no without worrying about hurting anyone's feelings. It shouldn't wreck the relationship and, in fact, it should just be taken in stride. Why do people find it so hard to say no?

If you don't feel that close to them, then they shouldn't be inviting themselves.

If someone was rude enough to insist after I said no, I'd have no problem being rude right back to them.

Given that it's your MIL, I'd say it's your husband's job to be firm and he definitely shouldn't be saying "My wife doesn't want you to visit." There has to be a united front.

But maybe I'm just lucky that I have a family that respects boundaries.