You should have your mother make a new will. Estate and prbate laws change all the time.The most important thing you need to do is have her signh powers of attorny, especially for health care You said your brother lives far away so you are going to be the care taker weather he likes it or not. You need the power to handle anything that may come up. I will never understand why most parent make THE son executor. Just because they wear pants dosan't mean thay can walk on water. I lost my mother just a year ago and one of the greatist gift my parent ever gave me is the power and the knowlage of thier affairs to handle everything without having to bother my father those first few monts after the funeral. All the trust papers were in my posission, all the powers in place, they even had pre paid funeral arrangements. It has been the hardest year I have ever had but because of their caring for me they made it easier to deal with. I also have a brother and a sister who are lurking in the wings waiting for the final estate battle. My father was so conserned about this that he recorded the visits with the attorny naming me as the final word, we made copys and sent then to brother and sister and they have been rather nice to me since. I guess what I want to get across to you is to get everythong on the table now befor you need it.One thing that really helped me during my mothers last few months was the authorization papers she signed with all the doctors, medacare, insurance company so I could make phone calls and talk to her doctors. With the new privacy laws you really need them. I have them for my father now and it makes my life easier. Is your brother going to be there to take care of you mother?? Of cource not, you live closer,and that's what daughters are for. Good luck to you

Absolutely agree with tina61. My reference marker of age 50 to set out your estate, was an "at the very latest". We actually started doing our wills when DD was born. Trusts, trustees, physical custody, education provisions and medical decisions were all spelled out plainly. Traveling often for business, medical needs of DD and just being prudent, motivated our decision to put our desires in writing. If you have children, you definitely need to do estate planning as soon after they are born as possible. Of course, we have amended our documents over the years, but our initial wills were drafted and signed when DD was born. DH and I were 30's at the time of her birth. rilie - I am the attentive one. I make all arrangements for medical care for both of my parents as well as transport them to and fro. Errands, needs, wants, all are my gig. My DB works hard and has little free time. However, he is also MIA when it comes to family occasions and holidays. He avoids it. Also, there have been no children born to the marriage. Seems as tho it may have a bit to do with his DW. She's an odd sort, very hard to get close to. I think everyone has a story, and her childhood may not have been a walk in the park. Her attitude toward family (her own) I think influences his decisions about being part of ours. I cannot blame her, he is an adult and should/would and perhaps does not get involved because he choses not to do so? Just figures I'll cover it, as that is the way it has always been. I still believe my parents' estate should be equally divided.

Take it from one who learned the hard way..absolutely do not trust any off the shelf Power of Attorney or Will, whether you get it in a RediForm package at a stationary store or offline. Nearly every state and sometimes local jurisdictions within a state all have their own format, language & requirements for what constitutes a bona fide will. When my grand dad died we all knew he had made a will and filed it with the local probate court, so we thought things would go smooth, yea,,right! First off, he had made the will using an off the shelf "will kit" that was available through the local newspaper publisher however on that form he only had to put his Last Name, First Name & Middle Initial, but the court required the full middle name. The court approved form also required the full first last and middle names of both of his parents, neither of which were listed on Grandads will. Grandads form listed the complete address where he was residing when he made out the will, but it did not list where he was born, another no no. Grandad had 12 children and all but one had left the farm and took up trades or businesses of their own. The one remaining son, Charley, stayed on and worked the farm with Grandad and it was assumed by all the children that when Grandad passed the farm would go to Charley. Well, sure enough, when they read the will it said Charley was to inherit the farm with title to all lands & chattel and the remaining children were to receive a cash payment of $1,000 within one year of grandads demise. Wrong-- The will said "All remaining children", but the state said that all the children had to be named individually. Per the instructions in the will kit, Grandad had the document certified by Notary Public, but the court said it had to be a court recognized "Notary Public" at the courthouse. The will form had provision for one person to sign as a witness in addition to the Notary Publics signature & Seal, but the court requires two witnesses who have to testify that they have personal recognition of the individual named in the will plus the notaries signature and stamp. As a consequence, it took over 4 years and numerous trips to court to finally settle the estate. At the final settlement hearing all the children had to be present in the court, and they all had to swear an oath that they would accept the terms of the will as originally specified by Grandad. (Keep in mind that while this was happening in N.E. Ohio two of the children lived in Michigan, one in Florida and one in Texas.) Now comes the clincher, When Grandad bought the farm in the early 1920's he not only got land & water rights, but his original land deed also included game & mineral rights. About three years before Grandad died they had drilled a natural gas well on the farm, but shortly after drilling the well it was capped off and basically forgotten, except of course for the unlimited supply of natural gas for the house, barn and outbuildings on the farm, including 12 gas pole lights along the lane and in the barn yard. Now here it is 30 years later and the Gas Company wants to tie into that well, but the mineral rights were not listed in Grandads will so they have been back and forth to court another dozen or so times trying to figure out who actually owns the mineral rights? Take my word for it, you can probably save a few bucks getting a will kit from a stationary store or offline, but in the end, using an attorney will prove to be the cheapests and easiest method.

First, I do suggest that you work towards having a real lawyer draw up wills for you. We had ours done through the State Employees Credit Union, and it was only $250. Look around and see what SIMPLE forms would cost. The lawyer who did ours asked SO MANY QUESTIONS that got us thinking, prompted the right discussions, and we feel secure in our choices now. For example, suppose one of your children pre-deceases you. Would you then split your estate 3 ways, or would you still split it 4 ways ... and divide the fourth "portion" among that deceased child's children? Would the monk son WANT to inherit, or would he rather see his portion divided among his nieces and nephews, perhaps to be put towards their educations? What if one of your children comes to live with you in your elderly years? Would you want to give that child a larger portion of the estate as a thank you for the time and effort he gave you in your final years? These aren't easy questions, and you want to KNOW that your wishes are followed. You can BOTH be buried in the Veteran's cemetery without charge. My father-in-law was military, so a plot is reserved for him. His wife died first, and she was buried 12' down. When he dies, he'll be buried 6' down. You're legally married, right? Yes, if one of you were to die, the other would automatically own everything. You can /should make your kids (or one kid named as executor) beneficiary on your bank accounts. Even if the accounts are small, you want them to have your money (not the state!). Beneficiary trumps will. If you died tomorrow, the person who's named beneficiary on your checking and savings accounts could walk into the bank (with your death certificate) and leave with every penny in the accounts -- before the will goes into probate. If one of you were to die, leaving the other alone, would that spouse want to remain on the property? I ask because my parents live in similar circumstances, and I strongly suspect my mom will "come to the city" to be nearer us kids/grandkids and nearer to services she uses ... after my stepfather is gone (which is the likely scenario, given the state of their health). The tricky thing is, What happens when the second spouse dies? I do think you should talk to the children and see if any of them are interested in the land ... or would they prefer to see it sold /split the profits? You should also consider a "back up plan" in case one or both of you cannot continue to live on your property. That is, if one or both of you need medical care that isn't compatible with your current lifestyle. I don't know if you've considered this possibility, but I think this is your nightmare scenario: You're living frugally but comfortably now on your land. Suppose one of you becomes ill and needs serious care, even nursing home care. The state'll pay for that person's care, but not until you've sold the land and exhausted your resources. Where is the the still-health spouse going to live? The state doesn't care. To prevent this relatively likely thing from happening, could you put the land into one of the children's names now? That isn't a risk-free choice, of course, as it gives them power over your lives; if their children are eligible for financial aid for college, it could affect them too. As for the two of you dying at the same time, it's very unlikely to happen. Even if you were to be in a car wreck, the likelihood is that one of you would go first. Even if one of you lives an hour longer than the other, that person still predeceases the other. Consider, too, writing a letter to your children -- be sure they know where it's kept -- that'll let them know your final wishes. Ours includes a note about being fair and generous with one another during this time, remembering their faith, and then notes about how I'd like them to divide things that we value -- but don't really have much value -- like my wedding ring, my husband's tools, my grandmother's china, and certain pieces of furniture. Of course this isn't a legal document, but it's something you can easily change and update as time goes on. My husband and I have "a rule" we go over our estate information and the letter to our girls every year when we do our taxes. It works because money is already on our minds.