best, I'm getting that book for my son! I just had all my conferences with his teachers (he is a Jr in HS) and every single one of them commented on how quiet he is, including one teacher who actually called him "aloof." They all acted as though he's the first quiet kid who has made his way through that school. My older DS never really dated in HS. He fell head over heels in love right after graduation, though, and had a messy and emotional breakup about 6 months later. Hasn't dated anyone since then (almost two years ago). Younger DS (the quiet one) now has his first GF, as of about two months. They have been friends for two years and they are part of the same group of friends so it's hard to determine what counts as a date and what is just hanging out with friends, because there's a lot of overlap there. Sometimes they go out with the group and then the group will disperse and the two of them will go elsewhere. Sometimes they're in the group and they all stay together for the evening. And probably least frequently, they will go out on a real date. Problem with this whole scenario is that it feels (to me) that he is spending too much time with the GF, but since part of that time they are also with the guy friends who I want him to also spend time with... it's not like I can say, okay, hang out with your friends but don't invite her this time! Anyway, it does seem like a nice relationship so far. Hard to say if it will get serious but I do wonder how the breakup will be if/when it happens, because if it's not cordial, it's going to be awkward for their group of friends.

If your child has an IEP, that will follow to the new school district. It will be with a different system and different teachers. We had to move a few years ago, I had one child entering high school, one child entering 6th grade and one entering 1st grade. The transition was the easiest for the 1st grader. He also had an IEP and it was addressed more aggressively than in our last school district, which nearly dismissed him at our last meeting, but I asked to keep him on to make sure (sometimes those IEPs are hard to come by for a kid who struggles). My high schooler had a terrible first year, but can't imagine it any other way now. My middle child is still finding his place, and was the most affected. He was double accelerated in math (two years ahead of grade) at the last school district, but they didn't have a comparable program here, or they didn't give it to him, although I offered his test scores (he consistently scores in the 99th percentile for math) and his history when registering him. They put him in a program that was one year above his grade, instead of two. He has an interest in going into engineering at MIT, so being knocked down by an entire year of math hurts him. In your case, going to a better district (whether you believe in the testing or not), it has to be better for your property values and for your kids when they apply to colleges. I would go with that in a minute and let the chips fall where they may. Keeping friends is small stuff in life. When we moved and my high schooler was so upset, I reminded him that when he goes to college, he is going to be in an environment like that.... a great big school and no friends. It is good practice.

Recordaras it is not something to be ashamed of. If you thankfully haven't experienced the depth of poverty why would you even think of laundry as a hurtle to be overcome. I have worked in some of the poorest areas of NYC supporting and coaching teachers and find that most have no idea what families day to day lives are like. I have had the honor of visiting some of these families in their homes and am always overwhelmed by their tenacity and grit in their efforts to help their families survive. Currently we offer free breakfast to anyone under 18 maybe we should install free laundromats at schools and community centers. One less stress for everyone involved.

Many of the children in large urban schools in poverty areas live in substandard housing or shelters. Parents or in many cases aged grandparents are under immense pressures. Just getting a shower in a shelter can be difficult as facilities are often shared, broken or unsafe. Public housing, and almost every privately owned apartment building in NYC do not have washing machines in the apartment. Landlords forbid them and laundromats are expensive and take time. I have had a parent cry and tell me "thank you" when I sent home leftover party food. She had nothing at home. Both parents worked but rent came first. The sad thing was the school threw out tons of milk and food daily because it is against Federal law to feed anyone over 18 years of age. Schools are in the unfortunate place of having to mitigate all of societies problems that befall children. These same schools have neither the money or resources to support every problem, but if thinking outside the box and providing clean clothes reduces one stress for children and families and helps attendance rates, I applaud the effort. Schools that provide a multitude of service, including ESL, health, mental health, social service assistance within the school building can turn many, many families' lives around. However it is expensive and takes time. Society is often not willing to wait or pay. Sometimes it is hard to imagine other peoples stresses and we all have them, but some have more than others. I hope I haven't offended anyone but this is an area I know first hand and feel very strongly about.