I wrote mine several years ago. Why note have things included that ought to be there! Those first hours after most deaths often seem disconnected. Deadline for a newspaper obit might be only a few hours away.

Mine leaves blanks about where and when death occurred and other relevant items. Most of the body of the obit has all the things that I feel appropriate.

FYI: I used to work at a newspaper and park of my job was composing obits using the basics that family members provided. Only after they read the rough draft did they add more information. Some of my co-workers did not like that chore; however, it allowed me to be a bit creative.

She made me cry with joy. And laugh. And really really smile.

Jim, I'm just sure yours would touch me equally deeply.

Ah, the true treasures of the world.

I saw this obituary last year and found it quite hilarious.

I think it could be a great gift to your loved ones. This man's family cherished it as a last joke from him.

It turns out the obituary I linked above was copied in part from someone else's. The deceased's family did the copying. But that doesn't alter the basic question.

I love the obituary one of my cousins wrote for her mother. Here's the last paragraph:

"She
was an elegant strong woman with great style and beauty. She thought we were
wonderful and we loved her very much. She was the center of our lives. She was
here before the subway. We thought she would last forever."

One of our relatives wrote her own obit. Sad thing is that, just like in her life, the obit centered on her offsprings and what they did, rather than who she was and what she accomplished. In fact, she died earlier than she had to b/c too busy attending to others and not looking after herself. May she be resting in peace and enjoying attention that she didn't get in this world. Alisande, I like the one you posted. She seemed to have been a happy lady. Would I write mine, I dunno. I don't like thinking about passing when I feel I have much to live for on this earth but we don't control things, right? I don't like thinking about death, not at all.

Thanks for sharing!

I've actually been thinking about this lately. I finally got on Find-A-Grave and wrote a couple of biographies. They weren't obituary like. They were written to be more like this lady's style. These were my great-grandparents so I never actually met them. My stories and facts are passed down, but have more information than you'd find by just looking at records.

We just finished evaluations at work. This year, we had to self evaluate before the supervisor. No one wanted to "toot their own horn". I imagine it'd be just as hard to write anything like the link for most of us? I don't think I could write mine.

Cute, nice, and entertaining. But I don't believe the deceased wrote that. I strongly believe a person or persons in her family wrote it.

My DH and I plan on writing our own. We don't have the greatest son and daughter so we know they wouldn't want to be bothered. We are also going to be cremated because we also know they won't take care of our graves. Hell, they don't even bother calling unless they need something. My 2 sisters know what to do with our ashes. We told them we want to be thrown into the river at Niagara Falls. That's my DH's favorite place.

So neat! I've thought about writing mine, also, but it wouldn't be that long, or that entertaining, haha. I would include my love for all animals, nature, and things like that. Do not have grandchildren,. But I would mention my grand dog!

I like the concept of an Ethical Will instead.

I've heard some very wise things said, I'd like to relate them to my own life and let people know the joy they contributed to in my life....so "yes"...I would like to write my own obituary. :0)

I probably should if I want more than just born, lived, died. My mom and dad were both newspaper reporters (among other things). My Dad wrote my Mom's obit using quite a bit of info from when she was named Woman of the year. I wrote my Dad's and even though I included a lot of his past accomplishments, I still forgot some things.

I don't know who would write mine if my husband is not around and I don't know how he would do at it lol. I don't have any children to do it. Maybe that is something I should consider doing.

linda- your post makes me sad. I hope your children mature out of that behavior.

I have considered writing a biography of my life. But an obituary? No. I don't need anything like that to be published in a newspaper etc. for strangers or people who never gave me the time of day to read. Other than family, if people want to know anything about me they will either have to ask me now or buy the book. ;-)

After I'm gone it's up to my survivors to do what they like regarding my death. I won't be here so I won't care.

After a certain number, our local newspaper charges by the line--can't imagine asking my kids to pay for that, but it would be lovely to include a copy in the memorial program left on each seat at the funeral service. Can you imagine what an ice-breaker that would be? ;)

Yes, I would write my own obit. I'd prefer to do it. My mother had a friend who preached her own funeral. I like that idea too, but I really don't want to have a funeral.

** Edited to say, she recorded it and it was played at her funeral. Which probably goes without saying. :)

I've enjoyed reading the examples here, but no, I have no interest in trying to control what is said about me after I'm gone. If I'm in a small enough place for my passing to qualify as news, I just hope they say something nice. :) More likely, in the city, there won't be any at all.

Trying to get people to agree on what's "cute" or "funny" isn't easy. What's cute and funny today can be so totally (politically) incorrect tomorrow and so many people are concentrated on finding the incorrect. I found both of those supposed auto-obits to be less than credible and frankly, boring. With today's technology I think a video goodbye would be far better. Heck, Andy Kaufman did it decades ago and what supposedly was contained in it was far more like what I'd like to see.

I have thought about doing a video Will accompaniment. Although I put in my Will things most people wouldn't. But things that I believe needed to be said. I remember a movie but don't remember the name where the decedent was doing a video Will and said something to the effect of "I'm leaving all my money to the Hare Krishnas... as long as they promise to stay OUT of the airports!. Just kidding" I so thoroughly enjoyed that.

Well, according to what I read or see on TV, the person that died lit up the room when he/she walked in and always had a smile on his/her face..(In that case I should live forever)

Yes, I'm going to. If I don't no one else will. Linda, maybe we should write each other's.

I have written mine.....it takes pressure off of the children when they have so many other things to do. I have gone to the funeral home and made some pre-arrangements.....also have written a letter to my family and friends to read at my funeral.....morbid?, maybe, but there are something thoughts I want to share with my loved ones.

I thought the linked pieces were tacky and self-indulgent. Anyone who feels the need to demonstrate to others how special or funny they think they are or were, are/were probably neither. It reminds me of family members at weddings who, when given a microphone, talk too long, often about themselves, and often in a futile attempt to reproduce the style of their favorite comedic monologue.

phoggie, if you have thoughts to share with your loved ones, why not share them now? That way, you can enjoy the moments real time when they experience your thoughts.

I recently, for some unknown reason, wondered what might be in my obituary. The one thing I hope will be is this, that I read in the above quoted one: Please don't cry because I'm gone; instead be happy that I was here.

Sue

Not interested in an obituary. Just scatter my ashes where they will do some good, like on farm land. I'll be back, so you better not mess up!!

If someday our descendants have an interest in family history and go looking for details about us, the obituary is one place they'll look. Birth and death certificates tell a few things, but obituaries tell more. Or at least they can. And I think they should.

I wrote my daughter's obituary at 4 o'clock in the morning the day after she died. She was a remarkable person, and I wanted to convey that. When it appeared in the paper, one of her close friends emailed me to say "You nailed it." That made me happy. All these years later, I agree. I wouldn't change a word of it.

watchme, you have my mind going. I have only dabbled in genealogy, and the glimpses I've seen are so small, that I wish, more than anything, I'd see much much more of who they were. Sure I can see my great-grandfather's draft card, but it was much more interesting to see his file he'd kept of work. He'd detailed his pay increases, the dates they happened, had a letter about an incident that happened at work, and more. I had a really good feel for what he was like after seeing that file. What a silly way to get information?!

My point is, "people want to know anything about me they will either have to ask me now or buy the book" works in the here and now, but what about 100 years from now? Maybe it's not such a bad idea to write a more detailed obituary.

My dad wrote a short history of himself: "Who was (Suzieque's Dad)". I don't know that he meant it to be an obituary, but we used it as such. It was wonderful. It wasn't self-indulgent or boastful at all. I'd like to write mine as I'd like to be remembered ... and then spend my life trying to live up to it.

I think there's some confusion here.

A Death Notice (paid) is just the facts, ma'am: Born, Died, Immediate Family, Services.

Outside of smaller communities, a lengthy Obituary (unpaid) is reserved for someone known beyond family and friends. It expands upon the basic notice, listing noteworthy facts about the public person.

Separate from these *public* words is The Eulogy. That is where *personal* thoughts about the deceased are appropriately shared with people who knew the deceased *personally*.

The only thing that may be left of an individual's 'personality' after a generation or two is the obituary. My family has been very transient. A few may be able to stay where they were born and raised, but many of us have moved for better jobs or something else. Someone may have pictures, but those get spread out over time. You find that birth and death certificates, gravesites, census records, etc., if you are lucky. I kind of enjoying that little 'extra' a personalized obituary has.

With the internet a lot of families do video tributes after someone's death that they share with close friends and family. I was recently the recipient of one that a friend of my DD's sent me of his grandmother. They had included a slide of her holding my DGD as an infant. Music background and a slideshow of the person's life with subtitles of quotes about the person submitted by family and loved ones.

I think things like that will be passed down from generation to generation and have far more meaning than some printed words.

Obituaries are not as important today as they once were . We have so much of a person's life that can be digitally preserved these days.

I think it's hard to say. The media we use today--CDs, DVDs, etc.--will degrade and/or become obsolete, so the material will have to be upgraded along the line. It's nice to envision things being passed down from generation to generation, but will all generations care enough to want to preserve them? Like I said, it's hard to predict.

You're right, alisande, storage media at home has a limited expected life, for a variety of reasons. It's funny that with all the technology advances in our lifetime, good paper still has more permanence than digital means.

The answer to your last question that I see in my (not so large) family is No. At my tender age of mid-60s, I'm the oldest living member of my branch of the family tree and neither my kids nor nieces/nephews have ever asked questions about even my parents. They know whatever they know (which I know isn't much) and that's enough for them.

Maybe it's different for other people and other families but I think the interest in this sort of stuff wanes over time. Something similar is how the adherence to ethnic and home country traditions (including language) also diminish with succeeding generations. Immigrants usually arrive with the intent of transplanting "their ways" and continuing same within their families and lives. Other than "grandma's favorite dish" or some other quaint traditions, the practices of the immigrant generation diminish with the next generation and are often gone by the second.

I wouldn't want to write mine but on the other hand, if they really don't know how special I am ,maybe I should remind them! :-) Just kidding. Nothing really exciting to tell! :).

I do think though, that by writing something to be read, such as being appreciative of someone's help or just telling family/ friends how you have appreciated them through the years.

Tell them before you die. Why wait, it shouldn't be a surprise.

Your right Snidley, but I am sure they wouldn't mind hearing it again!

Only if I were as talented as Dorothy or the OP!

I don't think I'd care to do that as I know I'd be too wordy. On the other hand, I love, love reading obits in the paper, the longer, the better. For me they are little stories and all have an ending. I wish I knew more about my parents' families--wayyy too late for dad and mom is too forgetful most of the time now. I tried to prompt her years ago but since she grew up during the depression, it was hard for her to think about those days, let alone talk about them.