Do not allow a realtor or mortgage lender to talk you into spending more than you can very comfortably afford. Most lenders will allow you to have a monthly payment of 40% of your gross income - it's ridiculous. Unless you already have substantial savings and retirement funding, spending 40% of gross income would be crazy. Use an app like Mint if you don't already budget, and see where your money goes and what you can actually afford with your take-home pay. We bought a townhouse-style condo that suits our needs well and we bought at the bottom of the market in our expensive area so we pay less than 1/3 for our home including taxes, insurance, etc than we would for a comparable apartment rent. So my advice is to make sure your monthly housing payment to own is *lower* than your rent would be for a comparable space.

Mortgage interest can be an income tax deduction in most cases, so that can work out well financially compared to renting. But, expect to spend a lot more on things that you do not have to think about as a renter - appliances and their maintenance and replacement, homeowner's insurance, for example.

A wise person once said, "You don't own anything that doesn't own you."

What Photocat said.

Don't fall in love with a place. Seriously. My first home was 100 years old. I fell in love with the stained glass, the floors. .. I ignored the terrible roof, the ancient wiring, the damp basement. Crazy expensive.

Second home was a new spec house. A bit better than average but not too expensive. You get a few years free of major maintenance (hopefully ).

"Do not allow a realtor or mortgage lender to talk you into spending more than you can very comfortably afford."

This is great advice!

Think carefully about whether you will buy a home or continue renting. There isn't always a *financial* advantage in owning over renting. The adage about 'throwing your money away on rentals' is often exaggerated. You'd also be 'throwing' a lot of money into a down payment, mortgage, interest, taxes, insurance, and maintenance if you buy. You might be ahead financially by renting -- and investing the money in something other than a home.

Why do you think you want to buy a home? There are lots of non-financial, but completely valid reasons.

In general, when interest rates are low (which they are) there is a financial advantage to owning a home if your monthly rent payments are approaching mortgage payments, and you intend to stay in the area for several years or more.

First, be sure you really understand what your rent payment is. If your rent includes all utilities then you can't compare it to a mortgage where you will be paying all utilities. Deduct out the value of included utilities and services.

Second, if you are paying $800 per month in rent but considering a $2,000 per month mortgage, then it is much less likely to be a good investment, and you are much more likely to regret the purchase. In my area renting is more expensive than buying. Here, there are few rentals and demand keeps prices up, but I have lived in areas where the opposite was true.

Finally, as others have indicated, how much you enjoy your home can really be a function of how well it suits your needs and how much money you have left over each month to do the things you enjoy. Stressing about making the payment on your incredible house isn't enjoyable, but pondering how to spend your leftover money after making your quaint house payment can be.

All good info, but I cannot determine where you are in the process from your original post, Teresa. So it makes it difficult to know how to help.

What is your timeline? Are you just beginning to think about buying, have money saved up and are ready to search, know what you need and want yet, chosen a location (general or specific)? It would be useful to let us know if you are three--five--or eight years away, or two-to-six months, from the expected purchase.

I have many friends who are lifelong renters. They do not want to fix a furnace or roof, and do not mind the hassle of getting a landlord to correct problems. These folks do not have an interest in changing their living space significantly and do not object to living in a place with frequent neighbor changes. Some of them change locations every couple of years, so renting makes it easier for them to up and move, as long as the moving aligns with their lease agreement.

I prefer home ownership, and we have bought homes even when moving frequently. I feel the neighborhoods are more stable and invested in their place. I like to paint or change things in my home. I like the feeling of permanence, even if it is fleeting.

There are pros and cons to each, and after selling our last home (which was a hassle and took months in spite of prepping the space), my spouse was reluctant to buy again. We haven't lost money in real estate, but haven't made it either, buying and selling on both sides of the bubble burst. The spouse was convinced renting was a better option, but I reminded him that there was a homeowner behind those rental agreements who was surely not losing money on his deal.

I agree with everything said so far. I bought my first home as a single in my 20s and have lived in a home I have owned ever since except for a time right after DH and I married. That one rental was a reminder of one of the greatest benefit to ownership -- you are in control. Control goes beyond the obvious paint any wall you want any color you want and making the decision to replace a chronically broken appliance rather than dealing with it breaking down at the worst possible, etc. It also means no landlord playing games with you, no saying I'm not making enough in the stock market so I'm going to sell the house and force you to move while on bed rest for a high risk pregnancy or I agreed to let you stay but then decided to have a constable show up and serve you with eviction papers. Then when you move no losing your entire deposit so the landloard can replace the incredibly cheesy carpet that had already rubbed thread bare on the stairs. Nevermind that you spent time and money planting the back garden and made the place look better than the baked dirt pad it was when you moved in. (yes, I am biased as a result of true life experiences).

The other side of control is that, as hard as it seems to believe when you sign those first papers, the monthly payments can stop. Forever. You still get to pay utilities and maintenance costs, but that mortgage does have an end. That has always seemed like an integral part of retirement planning to me. The idea of having wages end is less daunting when you can get rid of that largest monthly expense before you get to that point.

I agree with lascatx. I love owning my own home. When I married, my ex-husband owned his home and then we bought a house together, but I was middle aged when I bought my first house on my own. Two years later I had to relocate and so sold that house and have bought another.

Some folks have talked about whether there are financial advantages to renting vs. owning. I have always lived in areas where renting is more costly on a monthly basis than owning. But the downpayment has to come from somewhere, so it is a concern to use retirement savings for example when your are closer to retirement age. So that is something to think about.

What I would do in your position is start with finding out how much you are comfortable with paying. There are lots of online resources for figuring out what your payments would be for different types of mortgages. I'd make sure my credit report was accurate. And then I would look at homes in my price range to see what is out there. Think about what you really must have in a home (bedrooms, bathrooms, how much yard maintenance, etc.). Find a good agent who you have confidence in. They may be able to tell you about neighborhoods/options you have never thought about.

There is a learning curve to maintaining a home. My first house was a newer townhouse, all new vinyl windows, small yard. I was intimidated by the thought of maintenance. The house I just bought is over 100 years old and of course needs constant attention. But I have learned how to do many things myself and also how to hire good people to help with things I can't or don't want to do.

Good luck!

When we started looking for our first house we worked with an agent who guided us through the whole process. Now this was shortly after the discovery of fire, but I think his ideas still work.

Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side, list everything you would want in your home. I mean make it your wish list. On the right side, list the things you will not accept a home without. Number of bedrooms, lot size, attached or detached, age, etc.

That's your starting point. Everything on the left side of the paper is gravy and if a house has some of those things, great.