So sorry you are going through this. It does seem odd that after all these years of having good relationship that now you are disowned.

You seem to have done everything you could to try to patch things up. For whatever reason, the couple might be overwhelmed with the baby and your requests to see more of the baby is felt as pressure on their part.

You have offered to babysit. Not sure why they don't jump at the chance for a little free time.

Can you speak to your daughter in law or is it always through your son?

You could use some counseling to work through your feelings and and come up with a strategy for coping.

Has your husband talked to your son?

I do understand, been there done that. It's heart wrenching. It's the daughter-in-law that's calling the shots here. I've seen it with friends and family. There doesn't have to be anything else going on as other posters eluded to. I know an elderly couple who could easily get the Sweetest Couple of the Century award. They are truly the nicest, kindest people I've ever known and sacrificed so much for their kids. When they weren't in a position to give $35K to their son for his business venture, the daughter-in-law wouldn't let the son or their children speak to them anymore. She threatened to leave their son if he did. The mom passed away last year and the son's wife wouldn't allow him to go to the hospital or funeral. This is more common than you think. Talk to your son, have your husband talk to him. Don't give up and don't let the daughter-in-law win.

Parents tend to assume issues that were either dropped or never brought up after their kids grew up are issues that don't exist. Aging parents may never get a straight answer (or any answer) for the reasons that led to estrangement. To do so would require the adult child to put themselves in a position of vulnerability that they are clearly no longer willing to endure.

We reap what we sow. If you look back on your child-rearing years as a time of responsible nurturing, transparent affection, healthy boundaries, loving discipline, and parental dependability, you are not going to end up estranged from your adult children. If you have a lot of "I did the best I could" excuses, then please realize when your adult child severs their ties to you, they are also doing the best they can, for themselves and their own children.

I'd add to the above that being a parent doesn't automatically give you the right to be a grandparent. If you want to hold babies, there are opportunities to volunteer at a hospital, or offer to babysit for your friends' children. Special bonds can be formed with children that are not necessarily by blood.