What is your question? How large is your house? that's one determination of a mcmansion, but a better definition is a poorly designed home that when you look at it is visual clutter. Additionally indoors while it's large with large rooms, the rooms don't necessarily flow nicely and the kitchen is huge but unworkable.

Ours has been a collaborative effort. I make most of the decisions because my wife isn't all that opinionated. She requested a big window over the kitchen sink, looking out on the view, a separate powder room for guests, and a walk-in closet. We worked together on finishes and paint colors. We're both rather agreeable and passive, so I have had to step up and make a lot of decisions, something I'm not all that comfortable with.

Our house is very modest at about 1300 square feet, but is very well built, energy efficient, and designed around our wants and needs.

We have the same agreement. My husband loves my taste. He doesn't think I make a bad decision. He had no input on the house design. He wanted a TV room of his own and an exercise room. He had some opinions on the mechanics of the house, but our builder was in complete agreement with him...so a good fit. Oh and he wanted schlage door knobs and an iron door.

Every time we go to the new build my husband is blown away by my vision It's been fun! It's almost like dating again (being impressed by everything the other person does

mcmansions often refer to big house, big rooms, and not well thought out with character/flow/storage. What exactly are you asking my friend? I could have missed the question...

Cpartist - ah, interesting explanation. With the help of this forum, I made sure we maximized the flow of the house. Our needs are very specific. Since we have elderly guests staying for months at a time, mother and MIL, a 5th bedroom suite downstairs was a must. DH and I both need home offices, so I'm keeping the office downstairs, and he will take one of the bedrooms upstairs. Each kid gets their own bedroom. We all play the piano, so we needed room for our grand piano. It was a challenge to arrive at a floor plan that would flow nicely, and offer everything we need. It took a lot of back and forth with the architect, but at the end it all worked out. I love it. The elevation is simple, but very nice with tall windows for lots of light. To answer your question, the house is 4800 sqft. I see that I forgot to include that info. As for my question, I am fascinated about how different this building process is for each one of us. Our styles and needs, and region of the country can influence what we can and want to build. So I thought it would be interesting if we could share that in one post.

Mushcreek - Your wife was very smart in asking for the walk in closet and powder room. I've been following your progress on your post. Your house looks awesome and very well built. What is the style?

gwlake- I know right?!

Cefoster- I guess I had just responded cpartist when you posted, just now saw your post. It is so interesting reading about how this process is for everyone. Please share your experience. :)

I don't know if the OP is asking any specific question. I thought she was excited and having fun with her home. It is a great time to pick things out and enjoy the process. :)

Our house is basically a ranch over a walk-out basement. I incorporated Craftsman influences, such as large overhangs, massive roof brackets, and typical Craftsman porch columns. The porch is a shed roof, very common here in the south. I call it a 'low country Craftsman', for want of a better term. It actually fits in pretty well with a number of old houses scattered in the rural areas around here.

After been scummed by LibertyMutual we finally ready to build.

As a guy, I can answer who is the "BOSS"... I do not care to make "90% of the decisions".

I will be the GC on the project. But sorry, I do NOT exactly want to choose the colors of kids bedrooms, or any other colors, faucets, counter-top, stove, sink, double ovens, even cabinets (wife agreed to merilat) or any other items where choices are within $50 of each other. I have the veto power over the elevation, and all costly items. We are still debating the sun room.

I want to make the decisions on the foundation, hvac, framing, exterior foam, siding, windows, metal roofing, steel girders, trusses. The "10%" that DW is not aware.

As far as McMansion today average house is 3000 sq ft up from 1500 in the 80s and 90s. Fancy fronts are what consumer wants today and all production builders stepped up their game. While I agree that some went way overboard, however it is the consumers who are inspired by the magazines that want four or five types of siding on a single wall.

Our division of labor has been pretty stable for 33 years - DH is an engineer and in construction, I'm the right-brained creative half in the marriage. Anything structural, mechanical or that needs to be engineered is his domain and I don't argue unless I want him to consider the aesthetics of his decision. And design decisions are mine unless he wants me to consider the impact on something mechanical or structural. So anything behind the walls is his to decide, anything in front of the walls is mine but we are also very collaborative and over the years have fine tuned our dance. This will be our first full house build but have weathered multiple additions and remodels so we'll see if we step on each other's toes this time around.

Ah ok now I understand.

When we remodeled our condo five years ago, DH didn't trust me 100% because while we had been together since 2004, I had only moved in with him a year earlier. Even though I'm an artist and DH tends more towards the technical. He questioned everything I suggested but I got my way on most things and he loves how our condo looks and works.

Now that we are in the early stages of building a home, he has left all decisions related to how the house looks and functions in terms of flow to me. He needed a study on the first floor and had a few other easy "demands" but has left the rest up to me. I have him research anything related to building structure, or mechanicals. (Such as hvac) Whereas last time he came with me every time we needed to shop for tile, granite, fixtures, etc, now he's said, "You do it."

In fact, the builder has my number on speed dial, and my guess is the builder wouldn't have a clue how to get a hold of DH without calling me first.

I'd offer my opinion that a McMansion is a house built as BIG as possible on a little lot. With lots of look-at-me features on the front, built to impress. Kind of like the one my boss built. :)

I've started to ignore all comments about "McMansions" here, because it's been discussed repeatedly and most people refuse to accept the underlying component required. "Mc" is a reference to McDonalds. Therefore, to be a McMansion, it has to be big at the expense of quality, and mass produced to be as quick and cheap as possible. So, grand, but cheap and the same as every other house on the block. It has NOTHING to do with the size of the lot.

I am building an infill. There used to be an 800 sq' house, and it was torn down, the lot severed and 2 houses of at least 2000sq' each have been built. To many here, that automatically means that the houses are too big for the lots. And to them, that means McMansion. They're ignoring the house that was here could have been too small for the lot. There were 32 trees on a lot 20 minutes walk from downtown! Maintaining that kind of density leads to urban sprawl. And to build on a small lot requires customization in order to maximize space. Customization is the OPPOSITE of Mc-anything.

So when anyone refers to a McMansion and small lot, I figure they really don't know what the ... they're talking about. So I ignore them, and you should, too.

Our division of labor is pretty much what DLM described. He gets to make decisions on the framework. I research the **** out of everything we will ever see and narrow it down to a manageable number of options I could live with. He will surprise me with opinions and insights I would not have predicted, such as being much more open to contemporary choices than I would have guessed.

With regard to being the boss of the project, we divvy that up some. He makes most of the calls to the GC, but I interacted the most with the cabinetmaker (including nagging to get him to do stuff.)

Years ago we did a major remodel and acted as our own GC. To avoid miscommunication with subs, we just divvied them up. He got the electrician and the plumber, I got the cabinetmaker, floor guy, and tile person. That worked too.

Mushcreek, I like the way your house sounds. I would love to see the floor plan and pics. I am just arriving at the build your own house party, but I am thinking 1300-1600 sf sounds about right for my wife and I.

Amberm145 - I never really understood this thing with Mcmansions. In any case, you said something that is very true, there has to be a lot of thinking and customization to make a small lot work. Otherwise the walls are just in the way of the house. Know what I mean? I researched a bunch of floor plans for ideas, and saw some real non-sense floor plans out there.

I do love when people post here pictures of their gorgeous land with their "forest" view from the kitchen. Lovely. But that's not my reality. We are city people (is that a term?) Besides, I could not get DH on a tractor to mow the lawn for anything on this earth. So scratch the lots of land idea. (This is probably funnier if you know DH. I'm probably LOLing by myself here...)

Cpartist - same here. Builder calls or emails me about everything. DH was concerned about HVAC stuff, but I'm the one discussing it with the builder. I'm even the one deciding about structural stuff too. And cabinets, flooring, electricals...... But as I said, that works well for us. (I'm OCD, can you tell?)

houserookie, we're city people too. DH mow? Ha! And while I would love views of one of the waterways here with the birds and wildlife right outside our backyards, I would hate having to get in the car to go anywhere. We are walkable to downtown in a small city. Our lot will be 65 x 93 and we have 5' setbacks on all but the front side, where we have a 10' setback. that works for us. I intend to put low growing plantings in front instead of grass. the only grass will be a 5' wide strip outside the pool cage for the dog to run.

Rookie- I think it's great that you're having so much fun with your build! :)

When we do decorating, I run ideas past my husband and he usually agrees. But, I do try to make spaces appealing to both of us. Rustic/romatic with a bit of fairytale. At least I choose to see all that wood as fairytale...he would probably say more Western! LOL

David - I also can't wait to see Mushcreek's home all ready. Wonderful details.

Cpartist - don't even get me started on landscaping....!!!!! My green thumb is black, but I do want pretty, minimal maintenance plants, and some trees. I tend to, u-hum, unintentionally kill plants..... Don't ask.... Anyways.... After I finish with the kitchen/laundry cabinets configuration (big thanks to the patient people over in Kitchens), next on the list is closets, then plants. Then I'll go harass the people over in the Garden forums.

Lavender_lass - it is fun. Seeing the process unfold, and watch the ideas that were just in my head come to life. I drove by the lot today and saw all the wood there, framing starts tomorrow. YAY! Funny story, back when I was gathering my ideas for the back and forth with the architect, I was on a plane, while making my improvements to the floorplan, on my iPad. After some time, the passenger next to me asked me if I was an architect. :D - in my head I probably am....

I've been the main driver in the home process. I did the research, chose the builder, and narrowed down the location with some help from my husband. He has been involved with the most important decisions though such as choosing the actual lot, meeting with the architect for the first time, designing the floor plan etc. The end result will reflect both of our wants and needs.

Yep, the builder doesn't have my husband's number and neither does husband have builders number. Anything my husband has wanted, I have relayed. I have a meeting with the trim people next week. Husband doesn't want to be there. :). I had him come to the electrical walk-through. He had zero input and just followed us around. lol! After the appointment he kept saying how impressed he was. He loved the house. He loved my ideas. He loved me. You know what....I am really thinking my husband is a smart man....;)

This will be interesting, because we will be building a duplex with our DD and SIL, so 4 adults to please. So far I have been the main driver in purchasing the lot (they all approved though) and I am the main communicator with the architect but they attend all meetings. The plan isn't a mirror image duplex so we will be the boss of our side while they will be more that boss of their unit (although as holders of the purse strings DH and I will have finacial veto power over anything too extravagant, but they are realistic so that probably won't be an issue and if they really want something out of budget, they can pay for it themselves). I really expect that DD and I will be the boss in most aesthetic decisions, while the guys drive the structural areas. The guys typically go along, but when they have strong opinions they will let them be known load and clear. Son in law will probably have the biggest say on stone simply because he has the strongest opinions and everyone has certain veto powers if they really don't like something. We kind of reached a good working process in remodeling and decorating our ski house with them, even to the extent of blind voting on certain things when we were having a difficult time reaching a decision. We've got a lot of mutual respect going on and will have a communication strategy in place so as not to confuse the subs.

Funny but aggravating story. Years ago in the early 90s. we did a significant addition to our house adding a great room with tray ceilings. We had specified finished smooth painted Sheetrock for the ceilings and I stopped in just as the subs were about to spray POPCORN. I said no way, that was not specified. They wouldn't listen to me, so when my husband came by a bit later tried to lobby him to allow him to proceed with the popcorn. Smart man, he explained to him that if they tried to do that there would be hell to pay when I saw it and they would spend the rest of the week scraping it off at their expense. Then they ran to the GC, who pointed out the specs. I got my ceilings done right. There was no popcorn anywhere in the rest of the house, how they thought they could get away with that just because it was easier for them is beyond me. But the sexism flew all over me.

mojomom that ceiling fiasco would have put me over the edge! Do NOT treat me like the 'little woman' who doesn't really know what's what. I don't know how you held it together!

Yesterday was the beginning of our build (if you count getting half the construction drive excavated and that huge gravel spread) and my husband had his first *moment* as the GC/owner/builder. He/we have hired a very experienced local man to do the driveway and septic, handshake deal, DH is very impressed and comfortable working with him. A young man who labors for the excavating man shows up on a small motorcycle..... with a big Confederate flag on a pole strapped to it. DH walks over to him and politely says that while he is working on our build, that flag will not be present, he nods and says ok. It'll be interesting to see what happens today.

Way back in the late 60's, my mother had considerable renovation done to our 200 y/o house. Dad had passed away, so she had to do it all. The carpenters fought her tooth and nail about everything, but she refused to back down. They kept saying, "Normal people don't do it that way." She replied that she was not 'normal people'! In the end, they couldn't believe how beautiful it all looked, and asked to take pictures and put them in their portfolio. Though skilled craftsmen, they had no imagination or artistic flair. It really bugs me when men assume that women don't have the ability to make these decisions!

My Hubby has very firm ideas that he isn't afraid to express. EG no gold, no pink, no floral, no mirrored furniture, no Louis, etc. he is happy to relax his decor rules for daughter's room, however.

About ten years ago, I was helping my mom look for a retirement home...and she thought a little manufactured home would be perfect for her lot. We looked at several, before we found the right one.

I'm not petite nor blonde, but I still had the salesmen walking me past the 'pretty finishes' until I started telling them I wanted OSB and insulated wrap, then the siding. How much was their 'super good cents' package? What type of flooring did they use for the subfloor, etc.

Then, they'd shake their head and start over. Let me show you the construction specs on this home..... LOL

DLM said, "A young man who labors for the excavating man shows up on a small motorcycle..... with a big Confederate flag on a pole strapped to it. DH walks over to him and politely says that while he is working on our build, that flag will not be present, he nods and says ok. It'll be interesting to see what happens today."

Love it! Your hubby did the right thing.

Also love the stories from the women on here about how we show the menfolk who's in charge. ;)

@lavendar

I only added the blonde to my story because he thought I was stupid based on my appearance. And the petite to the story because he was trying to intimidate with his size.

He should have figured out that his tactics wouldn't work. My husband is 6'4" with broad shoulders. So Ha to him!

98 percent of the legwork and selections have been picked by me. We jointly picked the lot and house style and plan and met with the builder. My husband was mostly interested in construction, energy efficiency and mechanicals. I've run selections by him and he agrees with all of them because he loves my taste. He works and I don't so I have more time to make selections.

Gwlake- LOL My aunt is very petite and blonde...and she's the same way. Never underestimate a woman!

I think I get a little less of that 'attitude' because I'm tall and brunette. But, on the other hand...when it does happen, I'm always a little surprised :)