Your shell will be fine. Bring the cardigan in case it is cool at the dinner.

(from a Catholic gal)

Ditto to what kathy said.

I agree. The shell will be fine.

I have a funeral outfit for these occasions - a black dress that I bought circa 1998, low-heel black pumps, black pantyhose, and a black slip.

What you see at funerals depends on the crowd, but most people tend to wear somber, rather unremarkable clothing.

I'd wear the cardigan into the church, and only remove it if the family are wearing sleeveless. I know it's much more acceptable nowadays to be sleeveless in a house of worship, but a funeral is when one wishes to appear solemn, not breezy. If it's just too hot in the church, you could slip out of the sleeves and put the cardigan over your shoulders. I think the eyelet fabric is fine if it's not embroidered in a shocking color. Since you're not a mourner, you don't have dress like a crow. Appropriate funeral attire is therefore neat and quiet and doesn't call attention. Your outfit also sounds comfortable enough that you can easily help out your friend's family with whatever needs doing, which is good too.

Agreeing with plllog

Thanks to Kathy for clarifying cardi. I thought it was some kind of exotic ethnic shawl. (I'm grinning, but serious.) Must be a regional nickname.

Ditto plllog. Couldn't have worded it better.

Thanks everyone! The shell is black. I think I will be more mindful when shopping to keep things on hand, for occasions like this.

LOL Alisande. Old Navy I think coined the phrase in their party cardi commercial.

Agree to wear the cardi from the get-go, then if others are sleeveless you can remove it.

I went to a memorial service a couple of weeks ago for someone I'd known 30+ years. We all wore Hawaiian shirts - she didn't want us celebrating her life in drab, dark colors. It was a very colorful, festive service. There were still lots of tears.

I don't generally attend funerals but I did a year or 2 ago at a neighbor's request. I fretted because I simply don't do dressy clothing. So I ended up with dark black jeans and a button down blouse. My blouse was a bright blue but when I got there I wasn't out of place at all. Even the family was dressy casual and there were very few suits to be seen. The women in dresses wore skirts and tops. Nothing very dressy nor overly somber. The same clothes you would see in an office and plenty were in jeans. Dark navy or black, no holes or sagging. Men wore collared shirts with khakis, dark pants or jeans.

I think what you have sounds fine. I also think it depends where you live. I live outside of Podunk, haha. Everytime we have to go to the funeral home for a viewing/burial you always see people walking around in shorts, t-shirts, flannel shirts. It's appalling to me. I think to myself "seriously, you can't go to Walmart and buy a pair of khaki's and a polo shirt? Really?" Then I feel bad for thinking that way, these people showed up to pay their respects. That's how they live, how they dress, how they are.

I'm sorry for your friend's loss. The important thing is you are going.

It's gotten much more casual. At my mom's funeral, Catholic, there were some in nice jeans and shirts and some men in long cargo shorts and shirts. Some were wearing typical church clothes, other than the pallbearers not many suits. We, the immediate family, were of course in funeral attire. I was surprised but I haven't been to a funeral in many years, things do change. Some came from work so had work clothes on.

I was very happy that they took the time and effort to come and show their support, I didn't really care about the clothing.

I live in a decidedly dress-down area. Beachy and very casual attire have long been acceptable for situations they'd be looked down on in other parts of the country.

With that in mind, to me, I think the wearing of jeans or shorts to a funeral is very inappropriate. Tacky or worse.

Coming from work? Take a pair of Dockers and a shirt and change in the bathroom or in your car. It's not that hard.