I miss books! (spin-off of Marie's thread)
mxk3 z5b_MI
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
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cyn427 (z. 7, N. VA)
8 years agoaftermidnight Zone7b B.C. Canada
8 years agoRelated Discussions
What NOT to wear (spin-off of Annie's thread)
Comments (122)Martinca, as my screenname implies, I have four kids. My belly has not seen the light of day in years. I too am not overweight but do have a tummy bulge sag as a result. I don't wear low rise anything but I do wear mid-rise pants, etc. it's a bit of a quandary b/c I need to make sure my tummy is covered while at the same time, make sure my butt isnt overextended like it would be in mom jeans that are high waisted. This skirt is not low waisted. I just put this skirt on to be sure (and golddust, I was wrong - I don't have the charcoal color but rather the gray one and a tan one) and it sits much higher in me than in the photo, about an inch below my belly button. For my own body type, I've found that pants,etc that hit me sort of in the middle of my tummy actually look best. Anything that goes higher then creates kind of a bubble effect where my belly is by cinching where I'm smaller - so rather than suck me it, it makes it jut out, if that makes sense. This is especially true in skirts that zip and button on the front. They don't hold me in if the button is higher and above my belly fat. Hard to explain but it just works for me but I'm for sure not exposing myself like in the photos above! And I have the hardest time with bathing suits! I love tankinis in theory but it is so hard to find styles where the top actually comes over the top of the bottoms rather than meeting at the top. One move and my belly is showing! I love the designs of the Athleta suits but unfortunately nearly all their suits have the "meet and greet" rather than full coverage. And now bathing suit is nearing...ugh!...See MoreMissing RSVPs because I said book a sitter
Comments (23)ilovepink - how was the party? I hope you had fun and that no one showed up with uninvited kids. I have only 1 child (18 yrs old now), but DH and have always attended adult events/parties when she was younger. It was never been a problem to get a sitter with some notice. That said, we also had a group of friends with kids similar in age to DD so we did host and attend to "kid friendly" parties as well. The kid friendly parties were usually spontaneous dinner parties on short notice or nights when our town celebrated fall festival or some similar occasion. Formal parties never included the little ones. I really enjoyed an adults only night out. Being a stay at home mom for many years, it was a real treat to get out for an evening with DH alone. I didn't feel guilty in the least. Each year I contacted our district high school childcare program director. Our high school childcare program provides daycare for working moms, and has an entire curriculum teaching students how to care for small children. They are certified in CPR, etc. The director would give me 3 or 4 names (prescreened by the school). I would interview them and then have them interact with DD for awhile while I was making dinner. I would keep an ear for what was going on and it was a great way to find a sitter for the year. I usually chose a senior that drove, so I paid a bit more. I would always pick a girl who actually played with my daughter. I liked the idea that in the event of an emergency in my absence, there was a licensed driver caring for my child. I will also tell you that when we would vacation with friends with the kids, we took the babysitter as well. It was money very well spent. Everyone would contribute toward the week/weekend fee, and even though we really didn't need a "sitter" every night, it was great having an extra set of hands with an early dinner and bath time for several kids. It also would free up a couple of moms who were starting to prep our late dinner as well. Being at the beach was also nicer if the adults wanted to stay a bit longer, the sitter would take the little ones back to the house and start the process of getting the kids going in the outside shower. The kids loved it, the parents loved it, win win for everyone. We even took the sitter on weekend trips to the beach. The friends who hosted at their beach house had high school age kids and the sitter always got a night out to hit the boards or whatever our hosts' kids were doing she was included. In our part of the country, people usually have 1 or 2 "regular" sitters whom they pay well and count on to entertain their kids until it is time for bed. They don't just put the kids in front of the tv and talk on the phone. My DD never really did much babysitting, but the friends of hers that did, made at least $50-75 for a Saturday nite. IMHO money well spent for parents in need of a reliable sitter. I always overpaid our sitters, but in return I never had a worry when I went out for an evening. The next morning my DD would be going on and on about how much fun she had the night before:)....See MoreStokholm Syndrome spin off
Comments (11)This article goes along with the theory that mothers are more likely to be the abuser because they pend more time with the child. They refer to this as "time at risk" in the article. Causes and Effects of Child Abuse - Abusive Mothers A national survey in the United Kingdom of the childhood experiences of young adults ages eighteen to twenty-four found that mothers were more likely than other household members to be violent toward their children. Child Maltreatment in the United KingdomA Study of the Prevalence of Child Abuse and Neglect (Pat Cawson, Corinne Wattam, Sue Brooker, and Graham Kelly, National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, London, England, November 20, 2000) was the most comprehensive report of childhood maltreatment ever conducted in that country, involving 2,869 interviews about young people's childhood experiences. Of the 11% of respondents who reported physical abuse, nearly half (49%) indicated that their mothers were the perpetrators of violence. Violence took the forms of knocking down the child, burning, threatening with a knife or a gun, kicking hard, shaking, or hitting with a fist or a hard implement. Another 40% of the respondents identified their attackers as their fathers. Some Experts Say Social Factors Cause Abuse by Mothers Straus and Smith, in "Family Patterns and Child Abuse," found that women are as likely, if not more likely, as men to abuse their children. The authors believed child abuse by women could be explained in terms of social factors rather than psychological factors. Women are more likely to abuse their children because they are more likely to have much greater responsibility for raising the children, which means that they are more exposed to the trials and frustrations of child rearing. Women spend more "time at risk" while tending to their children. "Time at risk" refers to the time a potential abuser spends with the victim. This would apply to any form of domestic violence, such as spousal abuse and elder abuse. For example, elderly people are more likely to experience abuse from each other, not from a caregiver, if one is present. This is not because elderly couples are more violent than caregivers, but because they spend more time with each other. Risk Factors and Chronic Child Maltreatment by Mothers To determine the connection between psychological risk factors for child maltreatment and chronic maltreatment, researchers conducted interviews and tests of a group of abusive mothers in Quebec, Canada, on three separate occasions: during the initial recruitment for an intervention program, two years later at the end of the program, and four years after the initial recruitment as a follow-up (Louise S. Ethier, Germain Couture, and Carl Lacharité, "Risk Factors Associated with the Chronicity of High Potential for Child Abuse and Neglect," Journal of Family Violence, vol. 19, no. 1, February 2004). Fifty-six mothers were evaluated: twenty-one mothers whose files at the social agencies had been closed for at least four months (transitory problems group) and thirty-five mothers who were still abusive (chronic group). The risk factors were categorized into two general groups: the mother's history and her characteristics as an adult. The mother's history included placement in foster care, childhood sexual abuse, running away from home in her teens, break-ups with parental relationships, parental unavailability, neglect, and physical violence. The mother's adult characteristics included family unemployment, limited social support, past intimate partner violence, low level of intellectual functioning, low level of education, and high numbers of children and partners. Ethier et al. found that mothers who reported a history of childhood sexual abuse, placement in foster care, and running away from home during adolescence were more likely to have chronic problems of child maltreatment. Overall, mothers exhibiting more than eight risk factors had about four times the risk for chronic child maltreatment. Those with a history of childhood sexual abuse had 3.75 times more risk of having chronic child maltreatment than those without this risk factor. The risk for chronic child maltreatment was 3.57 times for a childhood history of placement in foster care and 3.02 times for a history of running away from home in adolescence. The study also found that the following risk factors predispose mothers to chronic child maltreatment: childhood neglect (0.58 times more likely than those without this risk factor), physical violence (0.69 times), and unavailability of and break-up with parental figures (0.92 and 1.54 times, respectively). The authors concluded that traumatic experiences of childhood sexual abuse (77.8% of mothers in the study), placement in foster care (80%), and running away from home during adolescence (77.3%) had adverse effects on the mothers' ability to parent their children. Results also showed that mothers with a low level of intelligence were 2.75 times more at risk for chronic child maltreatment. A total of 78.6% of the mothers showed such risk. However, the researchers cautioned that some studies have found that unless a parent's IQ (Intelligence Quotient) is below sixty, his or her low level of intelligence does not impair parenting abilities. Still other studies say IQ has nothing to do with parental competence. Mothers with a large family were found to have 3.13 times more risk for chronic maltreatment, with 80% of the sample displaying such risk. Here's the link: Causes and Effects of Child Abuse - Abusive Mothers User Comments Add a comment Name Email Body Cancel or Copyright © 2008 Net Industries - All Rights Reserved...See MoreSpin off of the waffle maker thread
Comments (2)I use the bag of Krusteaz from Costco for my pancakes. It makes excellent pancakes. I'll use it for waffles, if I find a machine. Your recipe sounds good Susan!...See Moregyr_falcon
8 years agogyr_falcon
8 years agomxk3 z5b_MI
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoMarie Tulin
8 years agoMarie Tulin
8 years agoKez (Z7 OK)
8 years agogardenprincethenetherlandsZ7/8
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agokatob Z6ish, NE Pa
8 years agogardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)
8 years ago
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