What nice condolences from the Idylls on the demise of my late gazebo! It is however in a better place aka the county landfill . Though it was not visible from the pic the thing had serious rot issues and was listing drunkenly to the north. The whole thing collapsed with very little effort from the demolition squad (one guy with a crowbar) . It took about 10 minutes . Now I see that the removal of this object has completely changed the dynamic of the plantings around the perimeter. I have serious work to do to make sense of it. The shade it cast is also gone of course , so there are a couple of plants that may be unhappy-notably my 15 year old Daphne odorata and my variegated lacecap Hydrangea. Im going to spend this weekend trying to re-arrange and replant. There goes another couple hundred bucks ! Oh well. Good thing for my employee discount. By the way, I apologize for the duplicate post. I must have right-clicked one too many times ! I have to admit to going to work with a cold. However, I do try to quarantine myself in my office with my box of kleenex and stay away from the copy machine etc that is shared by all. I would also like to point out in an unrelated observation that it is 5pm and still light out. Yeee-hah ! Hey Drema, one of the names on my DD;s short list for Mister Baby is Charlie. Cindy, Ive started to purge my office too---I have stuff in there going back to ancient times. I want to leave my successor with a clean slate. Poor Chloe just when she gets rid of the guest-dog from hell ! Deanne, see above for the answer to whether I am taking the gazebo with me ! I did however keep the ball top that was at the peak. That is my gazebo memento to be put in a place of honor in the next garden. How very nice that you and Doug were able to help out the young folk across the street. Symbiosis in action ! Sobug , I vote for Sophie for the girland is Milo after Milo Minderbinder ??? See above for explanation of the gazebo removal. What is really odd is how the removal of this huge object makes my back yard look smaller to me. Maybe it served to obscure the boundaries a bit. Michelle, do we have pic of your cemetery gate ? I think old gates are just F-F. Chelone, where would you put a chandelier in the Salon with the boatload of lighting you have in there already ? Methinks your offer of 150 may be ok if the seller has had it for awhile-cash flow yknow. No injuries from your spill ? And its hard to imagine that what your hours are have any impact on the ability of the business to get the work done. Just think of the consequences if you were to walk away. Seems to me that you negotiate from a position of strength; you after all are a craftsman and as such have value beyond the basic worker bee. I hope your skills are appreciated. T, Boo is beautiful, and I must say you look like the mom and not the g-mom in both pics-with or without head ,lol ! Ok time to sign off Kathy in Napa

you know, since you posted about losing max, i have gone over in my mind some of the things that set me off in the weeks/months after gary's death. he suffered the ravages of cancer for 21 months before God took him home. during that whole time, he practically lived on gatorade. i bought gallons of that stuff! a couple of weeks after he died, i was in walmart. i started down the drink isle and came face to face with shelf after shelf of gatorade. i burst into tears and sobbed like a baby. people were walking waaaay around me, LOL! i left a full cart right there in the isle, went out and sat in my truck to pull myself together. it was 30 minutes before i could go back in there and get the toilet paper i desperately needed! :O fast forward a couple of months...i was in a hallmark store looking for the perfect card to send to an acquaintance who had just lost her husband. found what i was looking for and standing in the checkout line, all of a sudden the music i had paid no attention to blasted into my ear..."last dance", a song that gary used to play on the piano for me almost every day. again...tears, sobs, strange looks. after a few more of these occurrences, it finally dawned on me that (please don't think i'm crazy!) they were signs from gary. the first couple of years or so after his death, i had many. they were pretty unmistakable. just a few weeks before he died, gary told me that after he was gone and when i saw a rainbow, it meant he was thinking about me. but, if i saw a DOUBLE rainbow, that meant that he had stopped whatever he was doing and he was thinking ONLY of me. i can't even begin to tell you how many rainbows i have seen, oftentimes they were doubles. :) pennies from heaven, i have a little basket sitting next to ashley's urn where i have tossed countless pennies from heaven. look for signs from max, you will surely see them. when i lost my female corgi (gary's dog, we always said, within a year of his death), the very next day i saw a rainbow. my sign that she was with him. five months later, when i lost my little male corgi, i was out walking the danes the evening after simon left me. on our way back through the fields and up to the house, i heard in the distance the UNMISTAKABLE bark that was simon. just his way of letting me know he was all better. at first, the signs made me profoundly sad because they made me think of all that i had lost. but over time, i have come to cherish each one of them. they are few and far between now, i suppose because i don't need them as much as i did back then. max will undoubtedly let you know he is well and waiting for you. some day, no doubt in my mind, we will all be reunited. :) well, it appears i have once again written the great american novel! LOL

Oh honey, I sense your pain. You sound just like Hamsteve, the wonderful stepdad who raised his SD w/ his wife, the girl's mother. The biodad there, also poisoned the DD against her mom and stepdad despite not being there for the girl for the most part in any way, provided her w/ a country club partying life and she moved from VA to FL - not looking back. She is the only child there, too. Like most of our advice to Steve, I think and hope and pray this will run its course. Steve's DD has outright been very negative towards him and her mother, not calling, even flying back to their town to visit friends w/o notifying them, etc. Keep the lines of communication open as best you can. The SM's behavior is despicable and so far out of line, it isn't remotely humorous. I can't understand their motive. But, I wonder if all will be fine and dandy in another few months, or more. It's only been a week and a half. As a mom, I know that sounds like a lifetime, but it isn't that long - they're all still in the honeymoon phase. Even my SD's first few weeks here were great. But, then little things began to bug me - I did more cleaning up than ever before and began to resent her. Of course, she never treated me very well in the beginning of our marriage, so we have a history w/ old wounds, etc. Anyway, even under the best of circumstances, it's tough to share a roof w/ someone who really hasn't been there all along. What do you think their motivation was to get him w/ them? It can't be financial, esp. given the miniscule amount they contributed to his well-being. Just plain old jilted feelings from nearly 20 years ago? Maybe try to ride this out, be glad he's not living in some apt. somewhere w/ a nutty roommate, and be supportive. If they continue their negativity towards you, make frequent visits and then see if DS will consider living in the dorm or an apt. Try to talk that aspect up. If he gets a gf, he may desire more privacy, less rules, etc. My SS disappeared from us over 2 years ago. I think his issues are that he is gay, and not comfortable w/ that, and that he messed up. Everyone had high hopes for this boy - he was very, very smart. He either dropped or failed out of college after moving to a partying atmosphere sr. year. He also stuck me on his $25K student loans I cosigned for him. Nonetheless, I tell his sisters that while I'm disappointed, it isn't worth losing the family over and he is welcome back any time. Even they don't hear much from him. I fear there were drugs he got involved w/ for the turn around. DH buries his head in the sand on most unpleasant issues and they never talked about the gay issue. So, after all of this, I'm just saying to keep in touch w/ your son. He should have more and more of a sense of who was there for him through the years as time goes on. Meanwhile, keep communicating, try not to be always defending yourself if issues arise, though that's hard. It's better to give your side of any stories face to face - and I'd plan to be there as much as I could. All the best, Dana

We just went to the Polaris Mall in Columbus! It was awesome! It is a mall, a couple stores are outside but it's a huge two story mall and then you have all the outdoor stores in the surrounding area that always accompany malls. I haven't been to the Kenwood Mall so I can't compare but the Polaris Mall and the surrounding area is the BIGGEST mall area I have ever been to in my life and I'm from HOUSTON. So when I say it's big...it's BIG! Then there was another not far from that one that you could probably go to if you had the time, it didn't seem nearly as large though. Here is a link that might be useful: Polaris Mall directory link