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guys i need ur opinion

11 years ago

my husband and I got together when I was 3 months pregnant we found out that I was a month later. My husband proposed to me and married me even tho I was having someone else's baby. I had the baby 5 months ago. My husband says he is trying to think that he is his child but when he gets drunk or when we argue he says he can't stand it that every time he looks at him he sees another man screwing me. My husbands mom and my dad amongst others say that my husband and son lol alot alike and yes when my husband was a baby he looks alot alike my son. I don't get why it's so hard for him to feel like he is his son. I did not make him stay with me out marry me he knew what he was getting into. If I got with him and he had someone else's kid I would be able to feel like his child was my own. He doesn't have a child in just saying. I would like it if I had guy opinions.

Featured Answer

sylviatexas1

11 years ago

I didn't realize it was the same guy either, thanks, colleen.

miya, this cannot end well.

Please get your precious baby & get the heck out of there.

I wish you & your little one the best.

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Comments (9)

sylviatexas1
11 years ago
female, but I'll toss in my impression anyway.

It sounds like your husband's problem is not the baby, but his "vision" of you having sex with the previous man in your life.

This is just jealousy, & while it is very powerful & very destructive & makes both parties miserable, it can be faced & banished.

I hardly ever say this, but, since the subject is so sensitive & your husband is so distressed that the two of you are arguing & he's getting drunk, & especially since there's a baby in the house, maybe couples therapy, where there's some structure imposed from the outside (it isn't *you* begging him not to yell & not to get drunk) would be helpful.

I wish you the best.
colleenoz
11 years ago
Also female, but I wanted to point out that this version of your husband is rather milder than the one you posted in the Marriage Forum. If he is having jealousy issues _in addition_ to all the other abuse, then seriously, cut your losses before you get in too deep and move on.
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tete_a_tete
11 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Female here too...

I didn't notice that the post in the marriage forum that I just responded to was

the same poster as here and wouldn't have if I hadn't read colleenoz's post.

But I will say what I was going to say and pretend that I didn't know what I really think of your husband. So, I am going on your above post on its own.

What rings alarm bells to me is your statement: ... but when he gets drunk ...

This is not a stable man. He has problems.
blueheron
11 years ago
It looks like you will be living with this problem for the forseeable future. He will keep casting it up. Unless you get couple's counseling, I would leave. Men hate the thought of another man's "seed" in their nest.
miya_teres
Original Author
10 years ago
I left him about a month ago when he went to an interview and I haven't seen him ever since I'm much happier now. One day he started getting violent towards me and it progressed up to it so I took my son and left.
sylviatexas1
10 years ago
so good to hear!

Thanks for letting us know!

Take care of yourself & your little 'un.
cacocobird
10 years ago
You made the right decision for both you and your child. I never regretted leaving my abusive ex. It was hard financially for a while, but we survived.
miya_teres
Original Author
10 years ago
Thanks guys

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