I was surprised to see this thread come up again. I see why, now. I am so sorry to hear about your Mother, Meriaux. I know it's small comfort at the time, but the thing that helped me get through it was knowing that people have done this before. A lot of us here have been through it. I absolutely understand how you feel, I lost my Mom in 2002. I have no brothers or sisters and not much other family so I understand feeling alone. The fact that you were so close makes it all the harder to go on without her, but you have her memory to guide you. The torch is passed. You know she would want you to do your best. At least you got to know your Mom, and she loved you. Some don't even have that much. I know your Mom would tell you should in NO way feel guilty about your premonition. Premonitions don't cause things to happen, any more than the weather forecast causes it to rain. Death is just a part of life. It will happen to us all one day. Your Mother was close to my age, and I hope you don't think it irreverent to talk about, but if I had to pick a way to go I'd want to go quick. It would be a shock to the survivors, though I guess, with no time to adjust. But it's heart breaking to have to watch a loved one suffer, sometimes for years. Mother's Day wasn't that long ago. Things are still really fresh for you. Trust me, it will ease with time. There have been many words of sympathy and comfort that have been written. I kindof liked this one.I hope y'all don't mind if I include the poem I picked for my Mother's holy card (or whatever they call them these days). (I knew she'd want one for the funeral as that's what she believed in) I chose a more modern picture of a kindly Jesus embracing someone who has just "come home"... Don't think of her as gone away Her journey's just begun Life holds so many facets This earth is only one Just think of her as resting From the sorrows and the tears In a place of warmth and comfort Where there are no days and years Think how she must be wishing That we could know, today Now nothing but our sadness Can really pass away And think of her as living In the hearts of those she touched For nothing loved is ever lost And she is loved so very much. -Anonymous

Karanbir, You never had the pleasure of interacting with Laurier. He was always willing to share openly with serious hobbyists on the list. However, he might not have disclosed every detail as he wanted to have the chance to repeat his work and offer more proof. Tragically he didn't live long enough to accomplish this goal. Unfortunately you just won't have the oppotunity to benefit from all of his knowledge and his writings were limited and what was written was copyrighted (as I recall from his website). Karanbir...it may fall to you to discover how to make your seedlings thrive through trial and error...just like most of the rest of us. Just because plants grow faster doesn't mean they'll be stronger or bloom faster. Laurier had a special method that proved successful for him and I believe if he had lived long enough to repeat it, he would have published the research and received lots of well-deserved acclaim. As it is, he has the respect of many on the list. There are always closely guarded secrets in life, and this is one of them. If you look at the Hippeastrum industry in general, there are numerous (countless) secrets about parentage, ploidy, etc. If you ask a commercial grower or hybridizer about their practices, you may be greeted with a closed mouth. I found out a little of this while I was in The Netherlands in March. Karanbir...you are fairly new to the list and there is much you need to learn. The fastest way to get people to close up to you is to play games. Please accept that Laurier's work isn't readily available and work through it. If you ask questions, you will typically get help, but you need to be patient and learn like the rest of us....trial and error is the path that most us took, with the occasional shortcut. Your seedlings will grow and grow well with all the care that you are giving them. Again, patience is the best tool to carry! Kindly.... Kristi (the other KB)

Thanks for the advice so far- it is very helpful. Paigect, we had considered moving closer to his kids a year ago, but it is not an option right now because of our jobs. There are also issues with his ex harrassing him (obscene phone calls and the like) and it seems that the stress level for my fiance is lower with him living away from her. I am not clear as to how much the autistic child depends on his father as part of his routine. When he was in my house, the child was very stressed and wanted to leave the whole weekend to go home, although we did everything possible to keep him occupied. Because of this, I believe it is just too disruptive to him to be traveled. He also acted the same way in his grandparents' house for the first few months until he adjusted to the routine there. But, because of the severity of his condition, I do not know if he would even notice the difference between monthly and twice-monthly visits. I don't want to make that assumption having never been exposed to a developmentally disabled child, but it seems to me that an infant would notice her dad gone more than he will. When he was here, his father did most of the caretaking, but because the autistic child needs so much supervision, I ended up taking care of the girl the whole time and cooking all meals for the family, etc. which was hard because I had been working all week and had no down time(my job demands a lot of me during the week). It is true that I have not been as active as I should be with going with my fiance to visit his kids at his parents'. This has been largely due to my pregnancy, but I do agree that after the baby is born I could, and plan to, take a more active role in going up there with him and spending time with the kids. The baby's grandparents will want to see her, regardless, and it is important to me that we are providing them with that opportunity. My fiance is trying to make alternate arrangments with his brother to bring the kids to the brother's house once a month to alleviate the stress on his ill mother. I hope his brother will accomodate this. I feel that it is not only exhausting to the grandma and to me to have him driving so far every weekend, but to my fiance to make this trip twice a month. Once a month would be more managable, and there is no reason why a 13 year old could not take the train here alone (after a practice run with dad). I also agree that he feels a great deal of guilt for the situation his children are in due to having divorced parents and probably overcompensating. Compounding it, is his ex wife not handling the situation very well. She has been living with someone else for longer than we have been together, but seems to be very jealous that her ex is doing fine without her and about to start a family with someone new. I have never met or talked to her and prefer to keep it that way, and my fiance tries to keep a business-type relationship with her. However, she has been feeding information to the daughter that her father will not want to see her and the son anymore once the baby is born, and this has created jealously between the daughter and the baby even though the baby is not born. I can only hope that the daughter will grow out of this or that the jealousy will be smaller once she meets her little sister. I do not know if it is normal behavior for a 13 year old to express such extreme jealousy toward a baby sister (she tells her dad that he is ruining her life by having this baby, that she was happy being the only girl, that she hates the baby). Otherwise, she is well behaved with me and I have enjoyed having her here the 2 times she came to visit. I have a wonderful relationship with my stepmother and hope that over time we will, too. The ex wife is sure to be very unhappy if we try to reduce the amount of time he is picking up the autistic son, as she seems to want to go out to bars and party a great deal, and cannot find another babysitter. It seems strange to me that she never wants her kids on the holidays. What she thinks matters very little to me, but the fact that she drags the girl into it makes the situation harder. To me, it is not appropriate to say anything negative about the other parent in front of the child. I believe that my fiance has a certain level of fear that she will try to take the kids away from him (which is ridiculous, he is a wonderful father to those kids and she would have no grounds in court). It is a complicated situation, and I just don't want to be selfish and whiny about it. I understand that there are real challenges associated with marrying a man is divorced with kids from a previous marriage, but I also believe very strongly that my baby deserves a normal life, and I don't want my only baby to miss out on time with her father. Again, I have no idea how much an infant needs her father but I expect that being away from home 2 weekends a month would interfere with their bonding. I can handle a great deal here on my own, and he does work very hard to contribute to this household while he is here, but to be gone so much seems excessive. All of this, I have discussed with my fiance, and he understands, but I can tell he feels a great deal of guilt and I don't want to make him abandon his children. Just the opposite. I just want to make sure I am not out of line for feeling this way because I don't want to make the situation even more unfair for all involved when there are 3 kids this affects. Any more opinions on this, I would really enjoy hearing- and thanks again for the input.

I really love both of Lisa's plans. I hope the hood venting won't be an issue because it really seems to solve several of the issues you were having. Plan B, I think would be the most practical with the way the peninsula can serve not only as seating, but as a landing for groceries and for plopping down items from the fridge. Though with plan A, I admit I am a sucker for that banquette! I also love the dish hutch/pantry. I like how the top-half would be a beautiful glass dish hutch display and lower solid for pantry stuff or whatever. How easy to unload the dishes with that setup. Yes it's a couple extra steps, but to me is much better than the other options. I loved the idea you had for the cozy nook area there with the build in bench, however it was looking like it was way too shallow of a space. I thought maybe a round pedestal table would be slightly better but still was not sure it would cut it. It just does not feel deep enough for chairs to not protrude into the walkway and the door to hit it. I also was wondering why you nixed the sink and dw under the window on the right side. I liked that way better than the 2 other placements being considered. For sure, I would not do the perpendicular dw placement. That would box you in on 3 sides with hardly any space to move. I agree with you in that having the dw in the prep zone would be better than that anyways. Sorry if I missed where you explained it already, but why didn't you like it on the right wall under that window? Another thing I just thought about as to way I like my sink to the right of the stove. With my range anyway, the one burner with the power boil and low simmer is on the right front. I like to use it for the main dish I'm cooking and the front left and back burners more for side dishes. Some days that is the only burner I use at all. Anyways, it is just something that makes cooking easier for me. I go from the sink, to prep, to pan, all in one pass without picking everything up to move to other side of the stove. I sure hope you can do one of Lisa's plans or some version of them. Keep up the good work. Your kitchen design is slowly but surely working out its kinks, and very soon it is going to be awesome!