I used to have SAD a form of depression. They might help. Beyond a one floor home look for extra wide doors. Bathrooms that are large enough to move a wheelchair around in. Especially to access the stool. Big mistake we made in this house. If not a second bedroom at least an area that you can sleep in if/when you need assistance so the aides can help your husband while you get some much needed rest. Make yourself familiar with the Medicaid rules for both your state and federal. Knowing what is out there can help with making your decisions even if you think you may not need it. When the time comes and you can not care for him at home the nursing homes(NH) which were better all had some Medicaid beds. The worst ones were either no or all Medicaid. Check with your insurance company to see which nursing homes have doctors that are accepted by them. Most nursing homes have a on staff doctor(s) which may be included in the cost. Medicare and your insurance company may not allow for the use of doctors outside of the home without a referral. Start looking at what is available way before you think you will need it. Talk to the attorney about the POA. You will need one that covers everything not just separate for financial and other one for medical as there will be things that do not fall in either one of those groups. Make wills for both of you. Some attorneys want everything to be put in a trust supposedly to protect the spouse and assets. You need to decide a couple of things before you do this because it is expensive. If you would need Medicaid within the first five years of establishing the trust it would no longer be valid. Are you saving the assets for you or any heirs? Certain assets are currently exempt from being used for Medicaid which is why you need to know the part about spousal impoverishment laws before you see the attorney. Lots to think about and I know that there are others on here that have followed the same path for one health reason or another. I am hoping others can give you better information than I have attempted.

Everybody is confused about these directives. House staff, the people signing the documents, and their families. Living will is written for a very narrow circumstance, and the language in it is very clear (I think) but people tend to think that it applies to many other situations. Something that I see is that a seriously ill person has designated a medical power of attorney, but he is at that point still competent to make his decisions (ie does he want surgery); but the medical team asks the POA instead of the patient. Kind of an assumption that the patient has deferred to the POA to make the decision, even if he is not sedated, or delirious -- and actually, legally, the POA is not in effect when the patient is competent. Also, some hospital personnel tend to assume that "do not resuscitate" should mean "no treatment" beyond comfort care. But, treating an infection or setting a fracture can be perfectly appropriate, depending on the actual situation and condition of the patient. Likewise, life support can be inappropriate for a person -- because it is futile, and will not lead to recovery -- but the decision maker doesn't understand or fears making the choice to let go. All this argues that people need to learn about modern life sustaining measures, think about what they want, and discuss it with their family.

I'm not entirely sure if what I would like to have done is even possible. I would like to be put into a grave for multiple people but I would like to have a mushroom suit or a fungus suit on. It is supposed to biodegrade your body without releasing all the toxins in it. I would like not be cremated or buried in a casket. Apparently at least in the states the mushroom suit costs $1,500. Hear it would probably be quadruple that. We have a weak dollar.. But then you still need a burial site. I just don't think there's any reason to have a grave site. I'm not sure any of my family is that sentimental anyway. Loving yes but sentimental no.

In my Alzheimer's care group sessions the question about calling an ambulance if a person was near the end and had a DNR came up. As hard as it sounds it is best not to call for an ambulance. EMTs are required to do all that they can to keep someone alive until they reach the hospital. The emergency room must also do what they can. Depending on the state and the hospital to remove a patient from the equipment that is keeping them alive can require a court order. This is a two state area and one needs a court order the other does not. Some of the procedures can be painful along with only extending life for an hour to a couple of days. As the coordinator stated talk to your loved ones about your desires. She also stated that sometimes when it appears a person has died to wait before calling. I never understood other than liability issues why the state that requires a court order for people admitted through the ER also allows family to request medical procedures to be withdrawn when the patient was a regular admission. I hope no one on here ever has to deal with this.