Mom1 - I come at this from both perspectives - as a daughter and now as a mother and MIL. My mother, with whom I had plenty of problems off and on, has been gone for fifteen years now. And I would give anything to see her again, have her walk in the front door and say "Now what needs sewing? Where is the vacuum cleaner? Let me just clear those dishes up." Because it gave her great pleasure to do that, and because I sometimes miss her to the point of feeling physical pain. IF she is not picking fights with you, IF she is not nasty and critical, IF she just wants to help - then please let her. This is how she expresses her love for you, this is the best that she can do to feel a part of your family. At her age she is probably not going to change. Some women derive immense pleasure from doing housework and "getting everything right" - I do, when my back isn't hurting. Yes, it can involve some OCD-ness and some need for control, but that isn't necessarily bad, unless the person doing it is deliberately trying to make you feel bad. Is your mom critical - "You shouldn't do it that way!"; "Let me show you how to do it properly!"; "Good grief, this place is a mess!" Or does she just ask to help, and think about chores that she could do? There's a difference. My first MIL was hyper-critical - "Surely you change the dish towels every day?" - but my mother just wanted to help. If your mother is truly a great lady and you love her dearly - think about allowing her to do what she would like to do - help you out. When we go to visit older DS and DDIL, I know to leave them alone regarding housework. They are unpacking and decorating their new home. I KNOW that I could do it better. But it's not my business, so I keep my mouth shut and enjoy their wonderful company. But when we visit younger DS, DDIL and DGS (one year old), I do what I am permitted to do: cook sometimes, wash and put away the dishes, prune the roses, a bit of garden work, and not much else. If this DDIL asked me to do more, I would, gladly. In fact, I'd rather help with the house and DGS than do anything else when we're there. I don't need to sight-see or work on hobbies. We do not stay with our children when we visit. We stay in a hotel/motel, as we like our privacy, and so do they. I learned from my parents' and in-laws' visits that things were much easier when they did not stay with us. A lot of the pressure was off. Is that a possibility, or would your folks be insulted?

Sorry for the delay in responding. Was working on a big yard project and too tired in the evening to think about the inside remodel. Great ideas from all of you. I did want to put the kitchen where the LR is as it has a room on the other side that is perfect for a mudroom, but DH absolutely does not want to touch the LR and take out the fireplace. Also the floor is dropped in that space and running plumbing would be difficult and expensive. And, college attending DD lives in the spare space(access is from garage). The office is only around 9-10 feet deep and I think putting the PR in it would make the desk area way too small. It is also my library/reading/get away space. IÂll have to consider moving either the outside ref or freezer in the laundry room. However, the room is pretty small and I want some counter space for my sewing machine and desperately need an ironing board space (both are currently in formal dining room). I know all the doorways in the kitchen are messy. The opening by the office is important as that will be the way we get to the new courtyard (thru the office) and the kids and I use the computer in the office a lot. I like to keep an eye on what they are doing on-line. IÂve thought about trying to leave the coats and boots outside the door, but we have pushed the wall out as far as it can go under the eves as we can without disturbing the roof (cost concession). Also when it is snowing, one does not like to take off coat and shoes outside. Sigh! Anyway, I reworked the plan after the first round of ideas but before see all these additional ideas. I moved the pantry and changed the PR. Pantry is not as big, but an okay size. Takes some space from the dining area, but I want a banquette and so do not need to walk completely around a table. I think the separation between the fridge and stove is better. The fridge is close to prep sink which will be used for working with food and does not block the stove access. Also gives me more cabinets. This house is dismally short on storage. Not sure if we are doing a range or cooktop yet. If I put ovens somewhere else it would be on the same run as the refrigerator. That area will probably be where I do baking related activities. Dish storage will be by window sink and relatively close to dining area. Any thoughts on this layout?

mareda, you didn't irk me. Please don't take my little tirade personally, because I didn't direct it towards you or any one person. You seem like such a nice person - I think I recall a previous post of yours where you were selling your home that you had poured your heart into? Is that correct? Anyway, it's been so plastered in the news about the horrors of SUVs. Since I drive one I am sensitive to that kind of propaganda. Also, I think I am reeling from a local dinner group we belong to, most of whom are so called "greenies". Recently we hosted the group at our home for a dinner party for over 35 people and several came up to DH during the party and said "Where is your recycling?" He said right there - pointing to the trash, then they said "No, where is your RECYCLING" One person even said "Well you won't fit in with the group if you don't recycle your cans and glass". Since it was a party we didn't get into it. Funny, the person saying that didn't realize we don't care if we do fit in. We try to live sensibly and responsibly for us and if that isn't good enough, well what can I say. Life brings us other circumstances we must deal with that are much more important, and we have had our share too. Most people have no idea what other people's lives are like. I am trying in my middle and older years to become more tolerant of others, because I see no matter what I think is right, it may not be feasible or right for the next person. mareda, thank you for bringing tolerance to my forefront. foxes garden, sometimes other people's decorating decisions, or lack of them, make my nerves go kaput too. We have had lots of those types of decisions we have corrected in this house and are still correcting, it seems like it is never ending. But your descriptions make some of mine pale in comparison. When I worked as a landscaper I think code was balusters should be less than four inches from edge of baluster to baluster, so a child couldn't put their head through a railing and get stuck and also so a toddler couldn't squeeze through and fall. Not that you want to get into it, but depending upon the state building codes anything a greater distance than 4 inches between or 4.5 inches on center in most states would be a code violation and should be corrected by the building or remodelor. Contracors may think they are saving some money on lumber if they space balusters farther apart, but if a child falls through or gets their head stuck, then the savings were definitely not worth it.

I do spray that guck on new shoots and canes (basal breaks) which I am excited about, and buds also if I notice them. We always cage newly planted roses, until they get big enough so that some grazing will not kill them. We are lucky - we live 4 blocks from downtown, and as my DH says, by the time the deer get to our garden, they are just on dessert. Only 1/3rd of an acre, and by a busy street in the middle of lots of houses. The deer walk down the sidewalks and cross at the corners - really! We have 150+ roses, and I do not mind some nibbling, especially since they are either full or lazy, and only munch at deer height - hardly anything below or above. That's why I have always planted lots of climbers! This year about 6 weeks ago, a doe gave birth to twins in our garden (parts of it are sort of wild and overgrown). One morning I woke up to see the below out of my bedroom window. I grabbed my camera - the below pics were taken through our 110 year old wiggly Victorian window glass, so pls forgive the bad quality. She spotted me in the window (see the second pic) took umbrage at me staring at her kids, and took them away, and I haven't seen that trio since. There has been some nibbling at night, but no sightings. I must admit that, although I would never feed them deliberately, they are welcome to some food and shelter and water in my garden now when we are in the 5th year of a horrible drought. Jackie