how do i tell sil i am not taking her dm
caminnc
9 years ago
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jakkom
9 years agocaminnc
9 years agoRelated Discussions
I feed her, I walk her, I brush her, I take her for car rides,
Comments (18)When they were teens (17 and 18) we bought one daughter a puppy and got the other a kitten. We still have two pets, tho the younger daughter has moved into her own apartment. That dog misses her so-she waits at the top of the stairs near her bedroom door, hoping DD will come home. She never does. When she does stop by (a couple times a week) the dog goes bananas with joy, jumping and running all around. Even tho I am the one who always feeds her, lets her in and out, brushes her, and allow her to come up on my bed antime she wants. Go figure!...See MoreWhat am I doing right/what am I doing wrong?
Comments (28)My thanks to all of you who posted comments, both good and bad. I can't begin to tell you how feedback about my florals opened my eyes, so I was able to change things for my next set of photos. I'd never think that removable "props" would turn someone off. I also have to say that you're taking it well and seem to appreciate the feedback. Those of us selling can now see our house through strangers eyes and what a potential buyer might think when seeing our house online. How the photos look will dictate whether they take the time to actually walk our houses. The last time our house was for sale we did not get any feedback, so I'm very thankful for this forum and hope that the feedback you got helps you. I noticed that the wallpaper in my home got some of the most frequent and critical remarks and it's left me wondering about something. Is wallpaper no longer in vogue in new or remodeled homes or is it that my particular wallpaper is not to the liking of most of you? I've walked a lot of new communities with model homes and can say that here they are still using wallpaper but not in all of the rooms. You might pick the nicest rooms to keep the wallpaper. I love the foyer wallpaper but not with the door color and not with the flooring. You might think to leave some of it up and paint other walls, using it as an accent. Back entrance wallpaper - I would take it down. Half bath - I like the wallpaper but not with the light fixture. Study - I've seen similar paper used in homes I've walked. Utility - dislike the walls - would sheet rock & paint 1st floor master - would paint 1st floor master bath - I like the paper but not for a room like this. I would paint and think about putting up beadboard 2nd floor master - while I like the top paper, I think it would look better painted. The wood on the door is much too dark. I'd also think about putting up a scarf on the windows, then opening the blinds for the photo. While I like pink, others do not :( Second floor vanity/dressing area - this paper you could get away with leaving. Bath 2, second floor - I would try to lighten this room up or leave the picture out. Living Room - I would paint this I also realize that the paneled family room is dated but my thoughts on that is to either paint the paneling a neutral color or rip off the paneling, put up sheetrock and then paint. I also want to install engineered wood flooring in that room and perhaps extend it in to the foyer where, I admit, the tile color is also dated. Another area of critical comments was due to my home having so much carpeting. Has carpeting also gone out of style or do I just have too many rooms with carpet? We just did this in the master bedroom. I would sheet rock. The carpet wouldn't bother me here. I'm one of the weird ones that actually likes carpet, especially for my bad back. Walking on wood floors kills me. BTW, the Saint Bernard that appeared in at least one photo and brought about a comment or two that some people wouldn't even consider buying a home where a dog had been passed away on June 10 much to my hurt. I'm in the process of cleaning up all traces of his presence here. That is, everywhere but in my heart! Very sorry for your loss. After 22 years, I still miss our German Shepherd....See MoreWhy do I love her??? Do I really?
Comments (24)Hey Betty, When a child has had a bad dream, they seek out the safety and security of snuggling in bed with Mom and/or Dad. That is a typical thing every parent deals with...and I understand that. But there is another school of thought out there, and the one that their father and I believe in, that those who follow this practice routinely may be causing their children more harm than good. It's ok to do it from time to time...(I allow them to lay with me in the middle of the night, but take them back) but it needs to be done on a limited basis because it's possible for that child to develop a dependency on such a routine. Children who co-sleep, or regularly sleep side-by-side with their moms and dads, could face fears of detachment when it comes time to sleep in their own bed or even get dropped off at school in the morning. Having their own bed helps kids become independent. It's a healthy way for them to disconnect from their parents and function on their own. Not only that, talk about a way to ruin a marriage...or at least complicate things. Sometimes bedtime is the only time parents get to be together. It's just not a time or place for the kids to be often. What it all comes down to is just a matter of opinion. However, there should be a common-sense approach to co-sleeping if a parent wants to do it...and it should apply to single parents too. There's a difference between playing in bed with your child on a Saturday morning or letting then lay with you for a little bit or sleep overnight after a bad dream and making it a weekday ritual. Bio-Mom does it every time there is a problem. Sometimes every night that they are there. I think that's way too much...and contributes to the problems that Sam has when she needs to let go. It seems that Marie is allowing her to sleep with her more and now Sam can't even go into her preschool without clinging,something she has never done before. When Sam goes to bed here, she smiles, giggles and says "I'm scared and need to sleep with you." We kiss her and tell her we love her, rub her back and we all laugh. She knows it doesn't work here....From this, I get the sense that she does it with her Mom because it works. And that there really is no need for her to be doing it. But, I understand that it can provide comfort to a child, but if given too much, it doesn't allow the child to hold their own. I want independent, strong kids...not big whiney babies who can't do anything by themselves. Yes, Bill, Marie wants to ask us what she should do, but doesn't really want us to tell her. It's pretty hard to figure things out. And we have been SOOOOOO open about other things...this just really confused me. I have also given my opinions in the past....maybe she is more sensitive to them now that I am marrying her ex. I see your point that I shouldn't have gone there and her reaction to things may be justified. However, I think it is her own issues and sensitivity that causes her to react that way. It's her problem, not mine. In the future, I will make my suggestions in a more sensitive way. D and I have also agreed that when we feel the need to suggest what she should do, we will do it together or have him do it. Just a day before, he approached her on the same topic and handled it in a similar way and she was okay with it. It's just harder for her when it comes from me...because of many different factors, mainly that she is insecure and knows that I am better at a lot of things. She relies on the fact that she is their Mom....that's what helps her...but at the same time, I know she feels inferior. But the next time she asks me what I think.......I'm going to write her back and say, Are you sure you really want to know?...See MoreI hate her...I hate her......I hate her
Comments (6)I feel the same way about my husband's exwife. I am custodial stepmom of 3 chlldren. My husband has always had custody because the exwife decided one day she no longer wanted to be married or a full-time mother. Before I came along she constantly dumped 99% of her time on my husband, he of course never said no, she had full control of her old household only she lived in a differnt place and had her own life. It was a very unhealthy situation. My husband just never stood up to her, he struggled to keep a full-time job and take care of 3 children. I give him tremendous credit because many men in his situation would not be able to take on that responsibilty. Well, then I come along, we get married and all of a sudden she begins to take a deeper interest. Mainly because I would not allow her to control my household and my husband began saying "no", She always used us as her babysitter, whether it was a work meeting, an exerecise class or a European vacation. She has been nothing but a major PIA, she wouldn't pay child support when my husband enforced the order she opened a full blown custody case, suing us for full custody because she did not want to financially support her children. We also have a screwed up schedule. During the school the chldren visit their mother Mon&Tues 4-8pm with alternating weekends. During the summer they visit her Mon-Wed 4-8pm with alternating weekends. The exwife wanted some crazy, they live with her 3days one week, then us 4days, and the next week it was the reverse. Mind you, she only had a 2bedroom condo. All three children sleep in the same bedroom. 2 girls 13&10 and a 8yr old boy. The master had enough sense to reconize that the living arrangemnents were not appropriate and would not grant anymore overnight visits except for the already standing 2 weekends a month. The schedule is crazy. The exwife is crazy. She teaches the children it is ok to lie to us. She is NOT supportative of myself or my husband. She has harrassed us to the point that she is not allowed on our property, she can not contact us by phone, she may only communicate via email, unless it is an emergency related to that day's schedule, then she may leave a message on our cell phone. She would call my husband at work and pull him out of meetings with the CEO of the company for some nonsense question. HE would get numerous calls on a daily basis. I never saw 2 divorced people talk on a daily basis. We have insulated ourselves as much as possible but everyday there is some new issue. She never returns clothes that the kids wear over there, one day she sent my ss home with no shoes on. She won't take the kids to baseball games and then tells them we did not give her the information. I could go on and on. But your words say it best I HATE HER!!!!! If I had hindsight my posting would be alot differnt. I would be like that one woman who used to be involved with a man with children. Trying being involved with a man who has custody of his children. The rewards have been few and far between. I have lived this from the first day I moved to where my husband lives (I moved from a different state). So the entire two years of my marriage have been filled with this crap. My husband's relationship with his children has also suffered terribly. I was divorced for 11yrs before I remarried and never experienced one ounce of the trouble I have in this life, and it isn't even my divorce. The best advice I can give you is stand your ground. Say NO, she is responsible for her custodial time. It took my husband a long time to be able to say no, it is very easy for me. I know that he is still uncomfortable with saying no but I help him, Remember you can't let her control your life. Good luck, God Bless. I understand, it's one hell of a way to live....See MoreCA Kate z9
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