I am the adult kid here (scary, ha) with a 16 month old and I didn't have a job to go back to after maternity leave with no prospects (I'm an architect and 80% of architects in my county are currently laid off) so things are a bit tight here as well and I am doing the handmade/homemade gift thing as well. Both of my nieces have their ears pierced so they are getting a hand painted and lined jewelry box and an inexpensive pair of earrings for christmas and my parents/inlaws are getting a book of photos of our son (blurb.com allows you to publish "real" nice quality books and I have been working on it on and off for nearly a year adding photos as I get them - this one covers just his first year). That's about it. My parents are financially much better off than we are. We moved back to a very high cost of living area and purchased a house about a year before the height of the market and now I'm laid off whereas my dad is retired with a very nice pension and my mom bought her company a few years ago and is doing well with it and they are VERY generous with us. If the situation ever flips - well let's put it this way, there is no way I'd spend money on an expensive trip while my parents were living out of a crock pot because they could not afford a new stove! (though I would not get them a Wolf). I say as a parent you need to listen to your instinct. When we make sacrifices for our children it's because it feels right and because we want them to have a good life. It sounds like you have given them a good start to a good life and they are not babies anymore. You do what makes you feel right... and my parents are pretty tight-lipped about what they do for each sibling because frankly it's no one's business except the people actually involved. I think this is a good policy - your other kids do not need to know if you are helping out one of your kids who needs it more. JMHO - and it should not be part of gifts, just something you do because you can (no raiding your own retirement fund because then the burden will be on your kids to take care of you LATER) and want to. As far as gifts, I urge you to sit down and think about what would make YOU feel good to give them. I'm sure there are things you can come up with that don't cost a lot of money. If it's just about the money making you feel good then you should probably reevaluate what the holidays are to you. There is a LOT in between "socks n underwear" and giving an extravagant gift you cannot afford.

Thank you all so much for your ideas and kind words-- but you know how it goes. The blessings go both ways. The kids (all of them-- not just the older ones) are generous with their time and love to share themselves with me too. It's not the same as it was when they were young -- or as often-- but I cherish what each of them brings to my life. I love the idea to give them good knives. It make such a difference and I remember how giddy when I was (in my 30s) when I *finally* got a really good knife. My then bf and I fought over who would be the sous chef! LOL I also love the panini maker because it goes a long way on a low budget. You can throw in a little spinach, a little cheese, tomato, pesto, whatever and have a delicious meal. I like the breville which is definitely a splurge they'd not make for themselves. I am pretty set on getting a good cast iron dutch oven or stew pot for my nephew. He uses only cast iron pans and he's asked for a good soup/stew pan. It's also a way to make the budget go far-- my gosh, I lived on soup when I was in grad school. Sephora is also a great idea for the girls--SO great, in fact, that we've done that for birthdays or breakups or just because (pedicure, lunch and sephora!) :) I will check with them to give them the option for money or a present but in the meantime, I am developing a plan for a different kitchen/cooking package for each. I think they'll prefer presents and that way, I'll be prepared. Now onto the tweens!

Count me in with the adult kids, no grands and missing the mornings excitement. What we do is get very creative with the wrapping. The boys especially compete for most creative wrap. One year i got DS some yard tools, and i used poster board to create a giant snowman. The tools were taped to the back and handles were used as arms. I added a scarf and mittens. They were all so surprised- figured' it was just another of Moms goofy attempts at holiday decorating. Lately its been big ticket gifts, but I supplement that with small items bought from local artisan fairs, such as hand made soap, soy candles or treats. There is a vendor who makes incredible cake ball truffles the boys love, and another who makes Indian nut brittle, DD1s favorite. Those are the elaborately wrapped items. But the all-time favorite is the stocking. We use the same ones every year-theyve been personalized with each persons name. I have mine from my childhood, the kids` original stockings from their first Christma, and every one who joins us gets one. I keep them and we reuse them every year. I even have the ex-BFs and ex-GFs! And since Christmas in our family always includes friends or extended family, I keep a supply of new stockings on hand. They are such a hit for all ages. The key is the stockings contain very inexpensive goodies. I go to the dollar store and find fun things-sudoko and word search books; packets of kleenex; paper airplanes and puzzles. Ive recently been adding calendars which are a HUGE hit. Sticky notes, lip balm, pocket size hand sanitizer, disposable lighters, packs of band aids, and ALWAYS candy bars & a scratch off lottery ticket. Oh, and an orange. Thats always in the toe. One year I forgot the oranges and they were so disappointed. I pick up trinkets all year long for the stockings. Those end caps at the grocery store checkstands yeild good selections.

Sippimom, our kids are 22 and almost 18 and we did an all cash Christmas (much to their delight) plus stocking stuffers of course, last year. My husband joked that I was mixing up my holidays when I told him we were going to do all cash and hide it around the house...like Easter eggs and the kids would have to find it on Christmas morning! On Christmas Eve, we went around the house and made a list in case we forgot where we had hidden the envelopes. The kids loved it and then they were able to go purchase what they wanted and get some great after Christmas sales, so they got even more for their money. My father once wrapped about 100 smaller boxes and put them in one large box the year he gave my mother an expensive watch. She had to open a LOT of boxes until she finally found the one that held the watch. Good luck, we are trying to figure out another fun way to give our kids cash, can you explain the money puzzle idea a little more please? Kat :)