My book club did read a string of downer books-a couple from the Oprah list and several Jodi Pichoult books stand out. However, since we all have a shared history, it was easy to say "if we read another Pichoult I am not coming" and "let's read something cheerful-or a classic." Being in the book club has pushed me to read books I would otherwise not read, but on the other hand, sometimes there is a reason I don't want to read it!

I do think people feel that "serious" or "real-life" books offer better discussion. Tolstoy says (approximately): "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." The unique problems offer scope for dissection.

We take turns proposing three or four books, and the group chooses one from that list for the next meeting.

Our discussion of People of the Book also dwelt on the restorer's life-maybe because in my group we are all daughters, and several are also mothers of daughters.

RIT-

I feel your pain. :-)

In the book club I was in, I was sort of the ring leader, but do what I could, there was a hopeless list of depressing books for a while, and then the discussions were hopeless - people who came who hadn't read the book, going on for hours socially speaking (not book-related), and poor turnout.

At first, I took over the choosing of the books (me - bossy?) and came to bringing a bag of books to book club to choose from - all books I would like to read at some point and ones which would have engendered a good discussion.

And then I would put lots of effort into finding reading quides and extra info, but, tbh, it didn't really make a difference and so I retired the leadership of the book club which meant that the book club folded.

Since then, I have been perfectly happy not being in a book club and being free to choose my own books. I am trying, however, to really expand my reading experiences though - at least that is one good thing about a proper book club.

You don't sound too satisfied with yours. I used to feel a certain commitment to the group, but then realized that this was graduate school, and if I didn't want to do it, then I didn't have to, and thus was liberated. :-)

Same thing happens in our book group. Doesn't it seem like all the super depressing books come complete with "Book Club Guide" at the end, too? Maybe this is a cruel trick perpetrated by the publishing industry.

Slightly off topic, does anyone have men coming to their book groups? We have a group that's been meeting for over two years at our library and we've had an ebb and flow of members, but never a male. I wonder if a guy would break us out of our morose rut.

My book club has been meeting for about eight years now. There have been times tha we seem to have gotten in a rut of depressing books. It lasts a few months and then seems to disappear for a bit before descending again. It is cyclical. Our books are chosen on a month-to-month basis... one person brings several books, the rest of us vote on them, majority rules and chooses our next book. We are close enough to complain about the books to each other which has helped sometimes, but not always.

And just like your book club, there are many meetings when we have almost no book discussions - simply skimming the book and wallowing in chit-chat instead. These meetings are hard for me as I would much rather discuss the book. Then again, I try to remember that perhaps the discussion and/or conversations go to the topics that we need to talk about sometimes. Does this make any sense? All in all, I try to remember that I am there primarly for the people, the reading comaraderie, more than to simply demand an in depth book discussion each month.

Keep us posted on how things progress in your book club.
PAM

In my book club, each of the members (currently 13, but usually 12) picks one of the books, though we all try to pick books that we think others will like. We do NOT pick them by committee. Since we each have different tastes, this means that the kind of books we read varies over the course of the year. We have a mix of classics, current best sellers, biography, historical novels, all sorts of books. We have even had humor now and then. It also means that we get true crime since one member is an ardent fan, and I loathe true crime, but then it is only one book a year. If I really can't get through that one, I don't finish it.

I end up not reading the book two or three times a year because it is so off my tastes that I cannot read it. On the other hand, I have read some books I never would have picked up that I ended up just loving. All in all, it has been an enriching experience for me.

Rosefolly

The book club I belong to is relatively small (usually about 6 to 8 people). Anybody who has a suggestion brings it along when they come to book club and we pick from the sugestions. We have had wildly diverse books. I do remember about a year or so ago we had done The Book Thief and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and somebody suggeted another book set in World War II and there was a general uprising so we picked something entirely different. We've done a couple of classics, some downers, some funny ones; a really wide range. We are people who come together mainly just at book club. Members range in age from early 20s to late 60s and we're a diverse group with pretty different interests. I think that helps keep our selections from falling into a rut.

I think that choosing depressing books may have something to do with their perceived worthiness. It does seem these days that a book must be in some way a downer, full of tragedy and strife, in order to be seen as worthy of being read and discussed. It's a kind of snobbery or perhaps a fear on the behalf of readers that they will be looked down upon by other readers if they admit to enjoying "light" reading.

I only recently joined a book club and was quite worried it would be all depressing books, but so far, we've only had one dud (Edgar Sawtelle -- several of us couldn't get through it and those who did loathed it). The books are chosen by whoever hosts the group and so far, so good.

Phaedosia, our book group is all women, though the one's DH suggested our last book, The Tender Bar, and participated in the discussion. It was nice to have a guy's perspective, especially when discussing a male memoir.

I agree with Netla: "...choosing depressing books may have something to do with their perceived worthiness." I know that seems to be the case with my DD's high school reading list, too. Why do educators insist on loading kids down with depressing literature? I would think that would turn them off reading for life.

I'm a firm believer that life's too short to read disturbing/depressing books, even for your book club.

I suspect that many book-clubbers love to vent their angst about life or relive their tribulations.
Many of the discussions seem to end up being someone's experience or "story".
It's almost like a 12-step meeting !!!!

I personally will not read any books suggested by Oprah.
She seems to thrive on misery.

If I am going to read a book, I want to either learn something or enjoy the telling of the tale.
Misery?
Bah.

" The poor old Earth must borrow it's mirth
But has trials enough of it's own."
( did I quote this correctly?)

Could it be that company likes misery :-)

I have never wanted to join a book club and why should I when I have this forum? Drop in, drop out any time and read whatever books mentioned here that I fancy. Thank you all!

I'm with you, ann. I have attended three or four book clubs, but didn't stick with them due to most of what is mentioned here - I honestly wasn't interested in hearing everyone hash over their own personal problems. I really wanted to talk about books. I wanted more diversity, not just the usual 'book club' books.

There was one fascinating time, however, when the book chosen was one of Anne Tyler's. I don't remember the title, but the protagonist was a woman who ran away from home, eventually returning. I was surprised to find that all of these staid middle-class women had at one time, for various lengths of time, run away from home! And always for the same reason - they got tired of give, give, give all the time, not being appreciated. All of them returned rather quickly. I will never forget hearing those women recount their short adventures. For all of them, it was the only time they were actually alone in their entire lives, even if only for a few hours. Very foreign to someone like me, who has lived a peripatetic existence by choice. I guess I did get something from my book club experience, although not what I expected!

siobhan - The Tyler book is called "Ladder of the Years," and we also read it for my book club. Although none of us admitted to having ever run away, most agreed that there were times that we had been tempted.

I really enjoy my book group, although the the enjoyability of the books seems to ebb and flow. We do some socializing at the beginning, but we actually do spend the majority of the time talking about the book. We're a pretty homogenous group, but we don't spend a lot of time relating the books to our own lives, except in special instances.

I used to be the de facto leader of the group, but I grew tired of the burden and now whoever hosts the meeting runs the discussion. Again, some lead better discussions than others. We don't always dig as deep as I would like, but we usually have a pretty good discussion.

I also used to be upset when people didn't read the book. I remember one meeting -- we read "Little Women" -- and only four people showed up ... and two of us had actually read the book. Very disappointing! So I decided to relax about the whole thing. Now, if I don't like a book, I just don't read it. Last year I chose not to read "Rush Home Road" because I found it disturbing. The year before I chose not to read "The Shack" -- for several reasons. Anyway, now that I'm more relaxed about the reading I'm enjoying myself more.

Probably the most satisfying way to lead a good discussion in a book club is to choose books which have a discussion guide included.
I always assume that these choices will be more meaningfully discussed.
Some books just don't lend themselves ( no pun intended !) to group discussions.

**do I need to use my Thesaurus to come up with another word for "discuss"? lol

Some book clubs that I have known assemble just for purposes of drinking themselves silly on wine and using the "book" theme as an acceptable excuse to leave the hubby for an evening.
Forget the book, I'd like to sit with that group of woman and discuss their self-images and skewed relationships with their significant others !!
This is one of my personal pet peeves: Women emotionally tethered to their spouse so that they can't allow themselves guiltless time apart.

I belong to 2 book groups, and have the opposite complaint. In one group in particular, a faction of the group will veto books because they THINK they are going to be "depressing" and want to have books that are "sunny" or "happy." So we often end up reading books that simply do not spark a discussion.

My biggest complaint about my book groups is that people don't approach books as literature. They fail to perceive or understand the author's intent or to recognize any body of literature that has contributed to the work in question... Instead, they somehow take the work personally, without the larger view.

For example, in one memorable discussion, one member insisted that "if only [the mother character] had taken anti-depressants, then the family would have been OK." My position was that if the mother character had taken anti-depressants, there would have been no story.

My main problem with the two book groups I belong to is that they want to read best sellers and the books with the biggest current buzz. That would be fine with me if it was only one group, but with two wanting to read the same things there is a lot of repetition. Recently I have read The Help, People of the Book, the Potato Peel book and Water for Elephants for both groups, all of which might as well have FOR BOOK CLUB-TYPE READERS stamped right on the cover or dust jacket. There is just something about these kinds of books that appeal to group readers and group followers. They are not so interested in books that have lost topicality.

kkay md, I run into those readers all the time who want to rewrite the book to suit their own notions. I am guilty of it myself sometimes, but I think some readers carry it to a ridiculous extreme. The best example I can think of right now are those readers who say Scarlett O'Hara was a ninny for being in love with Ashley Wilkes when Rhett Butler was more her kind of man. They often say, "I wanted to slap some sense into Scarlett." When I hear or read about "slapping" Scarlett, I do not expect much literary insight from those reviewers' opinions.

Yoyo; How does this suggestion of choosing books with a discussion guide work? I came across one recently but there was no indication that there was this extra included.
I presume that the author wrote it. I read a couple of the questions to be put to the group and these were quite interesting and would probably lead to reading other books to give more insight into the period in which this book was set.
With regards to a book group acting as an escape from home for a while...nothing wrong there, really. Books have always been a doorway to another life and an escape from reality even for a brief time, haven't they?

Here's a link that might be a good starting point to choosing books with discussions.

Here is a link that might be useful: Book club choices site

I have mixed feelings about book clubs. One I was in, in the 1960's, when the Feminist Movement was just taking off, was very focused and disciplined, yet fostered deep friendships. We got into some serious discussions and had one leader, wife of a University professor.We were all of us faculty wives at the time. I only left because I moved away.

The other book club, years later, was quite different. The choices tended to be more "chick lit" than serious. Wine was served toward the end of the evening, and at that point discussions really deteriorated. The meetings often turned into pity parties, or worse.

I am with the poster who feels no need of a book club, now that I have found Readers Paradise.

I have found the attached link very helpful for books that do not have questions in the back. There are many book specific sets and also some general questions that can be easily adapted to any book.

Here is a link that might be useful: reading group guides

Reading about the book club experience of all of you, I see that I am not alone. I wonder what does it say of this book club movement and our society, that the choice of books leans towards depressing, sad books. I agree with Netla, that there is some snobbery involved, to be perceived as intellectuals. There may also be some postmodernistic disenchantment.

It was never my intention to belong to a book club because I don't like reading books that I am not interested. I joined by accident: since it is organized by a bookstore, I thought a salesperson would choose a book, and you could drop by for the discussion if you had read the book or were interested in reading that book, but that you didn't have to be a member of the club or go every month (a few months ago, Astrokath mentioned participating in a less structured book club like that). When I stopped by in December for a discussion of The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon (which we discussed here in RP around 2004), the salesperson walked me to the group, saying: "We have a new member!". I almost say: "Hey, I didn't say anything about becoming a member", but they were introducing themselves, and they all were--and are--very nice. The discussion was scintillating, and I thought it would always be like that.

As Netla says, happier books often are not taken seriously or deemed "worthy". There must be out there some books that could engender a good discussion, without being a downer. I'm trying to find one of literary merit to suggest it to the group, preferably fiction.

Like KKay, I feel in our group books are not being discussed on a larger literary scope. Nor are we discussing the literary merits of the writing, beyond saying that it is well written. Or what may have motivated the author to write about that, and so on.

Our discussions are mostly about the book, with a member that tends to go on a bit about her personal life. At times sharing personal experiences can enrich the discussion. When we discussed Brooklyn, we had an Irish woman that came only that day (the book is about a young Irish woman who immigrates to US). It was enlightening to hear her point of view. A couple of women in her 20's came once, but didn't come back. No men so far, which would broaden the points of view and book choices. People who don't read the book, don't show up, which leads to poor turnout at times (twice only 2 persons have showed up). We have read some "book club books", like People of the Book, but in general, have stayed away from bestsellers, like The Help (at least, so far).

My current bookclub started 10 years ago - many of us were coming from other bookclubs that we were not happy with. Oprah's bookclub books were big at the time, and one of our first rules was "No Oprah books!" We have a meeting in December where members present books, and then we all vote on 12 we want to read and go with the top votes. In the past few years we've generally voted for a biography from someone in history that we wouldn't have otherwise read, generally one classic, and then a mix of fiction and non fiction. We have a few "rules" based on things we had issues with from other bookclubs, and one of our rules is we go around and each person is given a chance to speak before we start a more general discussion - this prevents just a couple people from monopolizing the conversation. There are fun upbeat bookclubs out there, if you aren't in one, start a new one!

As a retired teacher, I see great wisdom in the idea of going around the group first to encourage each person to voice their thoughts.
In any group you will have the "shrinking violets" who might not otherwise say a word.
Also you have those outspoken, intoxicated- by- their- own- rhetoric few who will opine forever unless stopped !
That would be the biggest problem with any group discussion....how to prevent it from becoming someone's personal soapbox and/or confessional.

I was thrilled when the library started a book discussion group because I'd been looking for such for quite a while. The first book was one I would not have read and I loved it. After that the choices have been bordering on pushing religion, full of depression, books written for young adults or a combination of all three. I'm really hoping this trend will stop, but from reading what you guys are saying, it does not look hopeful.

Do people really enjoy reading about children in gas chambers, children being forced to kill other children, egotistical professors who are dying, or God inviting someone to spend the weekend in the same place their child was murdered? There is too much real life bad stuff going on for me to want to make my reading life full of pain, horror or angst.

Each month a different person picks the book and leads the discussion. My turn is soon and there will not be a single bit of torture or murder in the book I chose! I really like your idea of going around and having each person say what they thought before the discussion starts.

I agree with you.
I really avoid any books rehashing someone's pain, sorrow, death, loss, torture etc.
WHY read such things?
I guess there are those who are able to read this with emotional detachment and fascination.
I find that because I run a movie in my head while reading, I am very upset by these tales.

There was one book I'd read because the gal in the post office suggested it.....BROKEN FOR YOU.....which was something I probably wouldn't have read, yet found it somehow compelling. I think it might be an interesting discussion at a book group.

Has anyone else read it?
After putting it down, I felt that I wanted to clean out my things and get rid of everything that had lost relevance at this point in my life !
That included some people as well.

LOL, Yoyobon. I know a few people I wouldn't mind discarding, too. "Lost relevance" would be the polite terminology.

I understand that book clubs/reading groups are far more of a US rather than UK 'thing'. I know no one who belongs to such an organisation and, as mentioned on another thread some years ago, I was quite surprised when our local library announced that one was held there an evening a week. When I phoned the leader, she couldn't remember the title of the book they were reading and added they locked themselves in the building during the meetings. She sounded so drippy and sorry for herself that I felt such a group wasn't for me. Further consideration led me to decide I probably wouldn't enjoy the titles chosen (assuming the members could even remember what they were) and that I am much better off here at RP where we all read what we like yet happily swap thoughts/ideas/recommendations, everyone is free to express an opinion at any time of day or night . . . all without being locked in. ;-)

Carolyn.....
Think about it....we spend our lives collecting clutter whether it be antiques, whimsies, books, furnishings, cups and saucers, recipes, friends, enemies ...you name it.
There comes a time when we must sit back and assess the lot.
What still gives us pleasure?
What gives us angst?
What has lost meaning ?
Honestly, I find that it actually makes me feel freer and lighter when I am able to let go of things and people who have lost relevance.
It might sound heartless, but really it is not.
Why hang on to things/people that we just don't cherish any more!?

Some relationships are outgrown.
Life moves on.
Perhpas we need to free ourselves of all that doesn't move us forward.

**HEY ! wouldn't I be your worst nightmare in a book group!? THAT'S why I would never be in one...for fear that someone like me would unload on the captive audience !! LOL

Au contraire, yoyo, you would be a delight in any book group. :) And I agree completely with what you said above. Now if I could just get my DH to see it this way maybe we could rid ourselves of a third garage AND a separate storage unit!

I'm afraid I'm still collecting books and recipes (that I know in my heart I will never make), and I moved most of my "stuff" with me last winter. I have, however, politely distanced myself from a couple of cloying people if that is a proper modifier. Most of my friends are long term and dearly loved, and then there are all of you.

Speaking of leaving things, my last move had to have a fixed budget. If I took more, I couldn't take the dog who had to be flown halfway around the world and then have a months quarantine. No contest!

Hmm. I've been in several book clubs for over 20 years. A lot of what I'm reading here sounds familiar. I have a different point of view.

I want to read well-written fiction. I don't care if it's depressing or delightful. I don't care if it's historical fiction or science fiction or fantasy or mystery. What I care about is that the author can string words together in a way that draws me in and makes me care about the characters and what happens to them.

I hate to see discerning readers discard the Oprah picks just because they were downers...or just because Oprah picked them. I read a fair number of her choices before she ever discovered them, and I was glad to see those authors getting the recognition I felt they deserved. (Fall on Your Knees, by Ann-Marie MacDonald...an exquisitely written novel about an incredibly awful family. I didn't want it to end.)

Stories without conflict....not much to write about. Not much to talk about. Shakespeare knew that dysfuntional families and star-crossed lovers brought out the audiences. Tragedy or comedy....there has to be a hook.

Someone asked about Broken For You. Loved it; my book club loved it. A downer? In some ways, yes. But also a story to lift the spirits as well. I think the best writers do that. A writer who makes me think. A writer who gives me insight into the actions and motivations of others. A writer who gives me a new perspective on my own world, and on the worlds I will never experience. A writer who challenges my mind; a writer who delights my mind. These are the writers I want to read, in or out of a book club.

I think the trick with book clubs is finding one that is going to suit your own tastes. Some readers prefer light reads, some mysteries, some "depressing" reads, classics, etc. I personally can't stand chick lit, romance, or any light reading...so I made sure my on-line book group picks books that appeal to me. Life is defintely too short to read books you aren't enjoying:-). And, thanks to the internet, there are now thousands of book clubs you can join on-line. Plus if you get sick of it, it's much easier to drop out of an on-line club than a real life one;-)!

For the readers who avoid Oprah books, does that include the classics she's picked as well? I've seen before where people will avoid the Oprah books like the plague, and I always wonder if that includes Anna Karenina, As I Lay Dying, East of Eden, or the other classics she's picked.

I discovered a British TV show called "The Book Group" -- quite a story!. A young American woman in Scotland, hoping to make friends, puts together an interesting group of people with more than reading on their minds. I've been enjoying watching it on Hulu. I guess it ran in England in 2002 and 2003.

The plot doesn't have much to do with books and reading, but it's still fun.