There are two sides or more to every situation. I have compassion for her, but wonder why her family is not helping--does she want them? is she very independent and maybe not listening to them? it she being given the guidance to help her make some important decisions? is she willing or more so able to get this help. I have a relative similar to this and she refuses to even listen to anyone and has put herself in several precarious positions. When she gets out I do wish she has a good support group of friends/family that will guide and protect her.

"I must ask, Mascara. If it is hours away, and apparently a hassle and lots of effort for you to get to London, why would you expect the mom to take your message of offering to take child to treatments and/or babysit for an evening out seriously?" To answer this, as I said before I offered this before the transplant. She only lives 5 minutes from me, they are only in London at the moment because it is one of the only hospitals in England with transplant facilities. "Mom considers you a 'Teenage Babysitter' person. You want full 'Pseudo-Parent' status. (Now - recently) Dad hasn't taken a firm and public position about your role. Bottom line, you can't 'move up' to Pseudo-Parent status until Dad insists on it and Mom allows it." This is what upsets me the most. Firstly, when she was my age she already had a 2 year old child with a young boy she practically forced into conceiving with her just so she could have a baby. Yes I know he had his own mind but he wont say boo to a goose and he has never been able to stand up to her. She then moved, stopped him from seeing his child and only spoke to him over the next two years to throw abuse and obcenities at him. Suddenly, she realises her son will not get a kidney through waiting on the list so conveniently decideds that daddy needs to be a part of his life again, "oh and by the way I need your kidney." Now I admit that I have been selfish and I have been immature at times. But I have never ever ever been that selfish, so what right does she have to judge me by my age when this was how she was behaving at my age? I have already said to him that she wont want me playing a part in his life if she doesn't think I'll be in it for long, so he needs to talk to her and make her understand that this is something we are in for the long run, and all I get is, "I didn't have a chance," "I'll get round to it" etc etc. Now as I said, he is a bit of a pushover, but he has no trouble saying what he thinks to anyone else but her, he just gets so pathetic around her. And if he does ever say no to her - for example, she has asked him to last minute come over and babysit and he has a prior engagement - she has a very clever way of manipulating him by making him feel guilty that he missed the first part of his life when it was her that cut him out. He says that he doesn't want any conflict with her because she stopped him seeing his son once and he thinks she will do it again. Now no matter what I think of her as a person, she is a wonderful mother. She raised him from birth on her own and he is one of the most kind and polite children I have met. She would never again stop him from seeing his dad because she knows they love each other and she knows it would come back to her in the end. I also explained to him that she has no grounds to do this on anyway so if it did come to that he could get a solicitor. But he hates confrontation, so our relationship ends up with the conflict because he refuses to have any conflict with her, no matter what the situation. I feel like I've now done everything I can to make this better and it keeps getting worse, I literally feel like I'm trying my best and I cannot do anything right.

I very much enjoyed the series "Call the Midwife." I have watched up to season 3. It was so refreshing to watch a show that doesn't overlook the hardships that women have faced, and to some degree still face. I live in Canada, and have seen a lot of US/Cdn TV which usually features wealthy and perfect conditions, beautiful movie stars, with little to no reality, and without touching on female perspectives. I saw a mention earlier about the lack of slums in Canada. I can only speak to the history of western Canada, which was mostly rural. In the 1950s, Western Canada enjoyed a high standard of living where there was ample food, although, my father did say that if you spent all your money on frivolous things you could starve. Before that, especially during the Great Depression, my grandfather had a sister who died because the family couldn't afford the medicine for her, and his mother saved for years after to pay the hospital for her daughter's death there. They lived in fear that the bank would take their house, but almost every house was in foreclosure in their area, Vancouver BC. My grandfather had a dairy cow he quite liked, and a garden, so it seems that western Canada was quite rural, even in the cities at that time, possibly with the exception of Chinatown, where the Chinese Canadians there had things quite rough. Today in Canada there seems to be a greater divide between rich and poor especially in the larger cities. Some of the issues in the book and movie still go on today, for example, abuse of women, children, losing a child, (although not as common today) being judged by others, mental illness after pregnancy and the great love we as mothers have for our children. I found it interesting that Jennifer Worth said most families lived near their parents, brothers and sisters, usually moving two streets away from where they grew up at most. Here in Canada we don't seem to have that closeness with family. Also there is a lot of privacy here and I think many mothers can feel isolated or suffer in silence. I don't live near my family because the housing prices and lack of jobs paying over minimum wage makes it very difficult to live there. Worh had another comment on the older people being rehomed to better living conditions, but that many of them died because they missed their friends and family and they didn't have that support. I found it interesting, and I think nowadays here in Canada, people's values are more about money than relationships which is sad too. In that way, the community of East London seemed to be better.

A few years ago my son Michael went to the local ER for pain in his lung area, he has no known pulmonary issues. They rushed him in for an emergency Thoracentesis, they removed more than a liter of fluid. Several days later he was released after we were told this probably won't happen again and they found no cause. He was 40 yo but I brought him home to watch him awhile. 6 days later after a night that he ccouldn't sleep he finially fell asleep on the recliner in the early morning so I covered him and let him be. Early after noon I could see his eyes open following me...I KNEW something was wrong, I ask him Michael what's wrong, he whispered mom I'm going to die taking deep breaths between each word. I called an ambulance. He was taken to the local ER where again they did a Thoracentesis and again more than a liter of fluid. He was transported to Presby hospital in Pittsburgh where he was rushed again for emergency procedure. This time a chest tube. For days we watched it pump fluids from his lung. Test after test and no known cause. They also found 7 blood clots in his lungs so he was started on blood thinners. The doctor told us at one point 24 hours and if the fluid is still building up we have to open his chest. Suddenly it stopped. 3&1/2 weeks later he was released to come home. He is 6foot 7 200 pounds normally, he lost 57 pounds that month. They found no known cause for the fluid and no cause for the clots. He was sent home with a Picc line to start 30 days of antibotic infusion. I did all the infusions but a nurse had to come to care for the line. I think each infusion took roughly an hour every 8 hours....so I'm thinking Anglophillia..all the travel time back and forth another hour at least for infusion + beginning and end flush....geesh should we all pack sleeping bags and camp out with you in the hospital parking lot.