A Memorial Garden; suggestions welcome.

18 years ago

On the morning of January 6th 1997, I gave birth to 3 little girls. Because they were born very prem,(23 weeks) I didn't have them for very long, Lilly only lived for a few minutes, Caroline for about 36 hours, and Margaret for 11 days.

Next year will be their 10th birthday and I am planning on planting a memorial rose garden for them. I am open to suggestions for inclusion. I have already got 'The Children's Rose' and 'Mother's Love' but need more. I just keep hitting a mental blank spot here, get too emotional I guess.

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Comments (8)

ashmeri
18 years ago
Peace is a wonderful Rose.

I hope your garden grows beautifully for your little Babies.
Marion
mtnebo_jackie
18 years ago
Hi Rosalie

What a sad tale :(

According to the every rose database there are roses for each of these names. I know that people on this forum have talked about Margaret Merrill but I don't know if any of the Lil(l)y or Caroline roses are readily available in Oz.

It was the 20th anniversary of my father's death and we took two of our daughters and our granddaughter to visit his memorial plaque - it was hidden by the rose leaves but I couldn't identify which rose it was.

I have cherub ornaments in my rose garden which might be a nice touch.

Good luck with your planning.

Jackie

Here is a link that might be useful: Every Rose database
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Hi klc, I don't get to follow the forum much these days, but caught your thread. For some reason I had some thoughts pop into my head right away so (for what it's worth) I thought I should put them down. First, good points about putting movable pieces that you can take with you should you move. Perhaps a better description should be 'Memory Place' instead of 'memorial' for such a bright, lovely girl? Some place where you can come to sit, rest, remember good times and sometimes just come to tend the plants and just zen out. Even if I'm weeding, gardening is my zen time, but I also have plants that give me memories either because of their age, someone who gave them to me, or that I planted to remember someone. The second thought that popped into my head was color. The idea of a white climber is lovely, kind of like white clouds, but when I saw her picture I thought so much of bright, little girl colors which would look awesome against the white. I first thought of bright yellow, Henry Fonda. It is my favorite yellow HT because of the (NON-fading) color and it's slightly ruffled edges. It's not a fabulous smelly but in a small spot like that it will only take 2-3 of those to make the whole area fragrant. Golden Celbration is also a happy yellow for me because of it's cabbage form & fragrance although it fades a bit. You get my thought, bright, colors, especially that don't fade - maybe mix some bright and soft pinks, peaches for little girls rather than harsh reds. My next thought were surprise plants. Three years ago we purchased a mountain retirement home which was exciting among other things because the first spring was several months of continuous surprises from the first owner/gardener that gave me so much enjoyment and that I've never been able to grow down by the coast. Sooo, what I was thinking is this fall, plant several different kinds of bulbs that will come back in your zone to provide more bright colors throughout spring. Finally, top off with low-maintenance, bright perennials that will come back every spring, like coreopsis, gaillardia, black-eyed susans, salvia (mine came back after snow so it might there), etc. - whatever does well in your weather. Best wishes with your project, I hope it turns out as lovely as your niece!
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I would suggest an oak or a ginkgo. Oaks, depending on the species, can be tricky to garden under, but if that's not a factor.... There are several species, and cultivars, that would be good. Fall foliage can be variable, depending on the species as well as the conditions from the growing season. There are various cultivars of ginkgo, varying in size, shape of tree and shape of leaf. All turn yellow in the fall. While it may need some pruning in its youth, to give it a good shape, the major drawback is usually the slowness of its growth. It's not the slowest growing of the available trees, but it is slow, at least for the first few years. If you decide on a sweetgum, then I would strongly suggest ones that don't fruit - the gumballs are a royal, prickly pain, and can be dangerous when shot out from under a lawnmower. Their fall foliage is usually good - although it can vary from year to year. As Ken said, maples are especially hard to garden under, and are, as a group, much more prone to disease than other trees, but there is nothing prettier than a red maple in the spring, if only because they are one of the first trees to flower. The fall foliage is nice too. Sorry, I doubt this is helping you make a decision....
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sjmarq--I am so sorry for your loss, and hope you are working through this difficult time. A memorial garden is a wonderful idea, and will bring you many years of joy and memories. In addition to the excellent suggestions above, you might consider getting some seedlings that are not yet named, and naming them yourself after the two people you lost. Many of the people on this forum raise lots of seedlings, and I'm sure plenty of them would be willing to send you one or two. I have many in my own garden, and would gladly send you something if you like solids, but there are plenty of interesting variegated and streaked seedlings out there that might need a new home. There are also seedlings sold on the Hosta Library auction site, and you might find something there that you like, or you could post on the exchanges section of this forum if you would like to trade for plants. Ken is exactly right about Remember Me--it's a lovely little plant that often doesn't grow worth a darn under the best of circumstances, and many people have been disappointed with this one. Guardian Angel is not only a beautiful plant, it's an excellent grower, and very hardy. It does require a large spot, however--it will get nearly as large as Blue Angel. There is a whole series of 'Angel' hosta names out there, from Blue Angel to Angel Feathers, and any of these might be appropriate. Praying Hands is another possibility, or perhaps Tiny Tears. It might help to narrow your choices if you know what size plant you want for the space you have in mind, and if you have a particular color or variegation pattern in mind.
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User
18 years ago
O how sad for you I lost a little girl at 10 days but three would have been devastating.

You know I always felt that Princess de Monaco was a real Baby Girl type of rose.

And as Marion said Peace is beautiful also.
And Jackie's idea of a Cherub would add a beautiful touch.

Rosalie Good Luck with whatever you choose as all rose's are beautiful so the choice is not easy.
Cheers..MM.
User
18 years ago
Hi Rosalie,

My eyes filled with tears when I read your post. It must have been the most terrible thing to deal with.

Here are a few suggestions for you.

Angel face
Memorium
Mon Cheri
Remember Me
Treasured Love

Good luck with your garden. I hope it gives you joy.
Cheers,
Dee.
SteveTL
18 years ago
Sacred Heart is also known as Caroline de Monaco overseas ... it's a soft yellow/cream HT. Hopefully this suits one of your babies.

Good luck with the planning and planting.
Rosalie
Original Author
18 years ago
Thank you people for your suggestions. Peace will be of course a natural inclusion, I adore her. And of the other roses mentioned, I already have some of them growing in my main beds so I at least know how the will peform here. I like the sound of Sacred Heart too.
I have the site already picked out so I will be able to see into it from my kitchen and sewing room windows and because there is nothing there yet but the cockie's cage and a bit of builders rubble there is plenty of room to start. Charlie's cage is pretty ugly, but I have worked out how to flank it with a couple of Climbing Seduction.
(When she flowers, the beautiful wavy petals always remind me of the graceful longer ballet frocks.) I have to include him, he has been in our family for over 30 years. I have a lovely old birdbath to include that came from their original Little Girl's garden in Donnybrook; little birds are such a joy to me. (We don't have sparrows, starlings, or blackbirds here in the west (yet).
The plan is that when the garden is finished, it will be screened by a shrubbery on three sides, to help create a secret garden effect. The suggestion of the little cherubs is one that I had already been looking at. Must be true what they say about great minds etc etc....
Thank you all for your time and kind thoughts, if I can work out how to post photo's here on the forum, I can show you all how it's progressing.
An extra special hug to M.M. ...... Rosalie
User
18 years ago
Sounds wonderful Rosalie I am so glad you have Seduction there that is one of my most favourite roses,
it also does well here with all this terrible humidy.. And Thank you for your kind thoughts

I will email you instructions how to post pics this way on the Forum...Cheers......MM.
A Vase full of my "Seduction"
{{gwi:2112443}}
Rosalie
Original Author
18 years ago
M.M. they are lovely, one can almost see the fairies pirrouetting round the garden wearing frilly dresses of Seduction petals. ...Rosalie.
P.S check out the roundup message and tell me what you think ???

A Memorial Garden; suggestions welcome.

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