If you like spiders and UFs at all, you really might look at some by either Dan Bachman, Margo Reed or Jim Murphy. While some are new and more expensive, there are a lot that are very reasonably priced ( AFTER AWHILE CROCODILE, RED HILL, TOODLELOO KANGAROO,LATER ALLIGATOR) A couple of other older and very reliable late bloomers are SANDRA ELIZABETH- it is a rather old fashioned buttery yellow, but it is considered the marker for very late blooms. It is reliably very late almost everywhere. Also, Sanford Roberts POINT OF VIEW is a great ML-L bloomer. It is a big red and very impressive in a clump. I did a thread or two on some L-VL bloomers and pictured some of these daylilies - one was earlier this week and another was a couple of weeks ago. Good luck with your quest! Remember that hybridizers can only register daylilies as they bloom in their home gardens. They might not ( and often don't) bloom at the same time in completely different climates!

Very sloppy. Looks like they tried to cut it with a butter knife. But mud and trim will cover it all. Just hope that their finishing skills are better than their rough application skills. I'd want all gaps around the windows sealed with expansion foam and caulk before the trimwork starts as well. It's just one more layer of proper air sealing the conditioned space you pay for into the home.

Well, Stevied, thanks for your concern about "hijacking" my thread but I think we would all be better off if it morphs into a discussion of how we can all (male and female) be more sensitive in communication with our significant others than if it remains a narrowly focused thrashing out of my little problem. After all...I've already relegated that to the "last week's annoyance" category. Some might say that I've swept it under the rug...I prefer to think I've moved on. And I think I might learn a lot from a man who is willing to think a bit about these things. A different perspective, doncha know? I suspect that part of the problem your wife has with your attempts to communicate stems from old hurts. She may be expecting repeats of earlier disappointments and such. It's hard to imagine that a husband who would make such a sweet, humble attempt to understand and change would be rebuffed. There must be some issue lurking here. Have you asked about that? You say that you still can't help her feel better - well, apart from the fact that one person really cannot be responsible completely for the feelings of another - have you asked her to break things down for you into really small, doable bits? If you find that you just don't know what to do or say, could you say, "Honey, I can tell that you are hurting and I hate that and really want to help. What do you need me to do or say right now? What am I not getting about this? Do believe me that I want to understand and am not trying to be thick...I just don't quite see it and need you to help me understand how to help you. I'm hoping that if you walk me through it a few times I'll start to get it on my own." Any woman who would reject that must have a LOT of mistrust left over from somewhere. And those issues will have to be dealt with before progress is made. Also, apology has its valuable place. If you react in a way that turns out to be mistaken, apologize! Right away you can say, "Whoa! I think I read that wrong. You were serious, weren't you? I'm sorry I didn't get that. Let me back up and try again cause I really didn't want to hurt your feelings." And you may need to start out by assuming that it's ALL important for a while. Rather than putting all the burden on her to announce whether you should really pay attention or not, how about just assuming that if her mouth is moving you need to get in gear? I seriously doubt that she will be as annoyed on account of you taking something seriously when she was kidding as she would if you ignore her when she is trying to get your attention. You say that you want to help and you just can't seem to figure it out? Well, take the time and trouble to just pay attention to everything she says for a while and see if that helps. Really listen every time she speaks, take a few seconds at least to try to see what she is really saying and if you don't get it ask her to clarify for you. If nothing else, it should be a huge compliment to her that you are willing to pay attention to her. We really do teach others how to treat us. Heaven knows what I'M thinking...I seem to always teach people to take me totally for granted and to ignore my needs. When will I ever learn NOT to do that? Or HOW not to do that? But it's always easier to give advice about someone else's problem than to figure out our own or to take advice when it applies to us. So why shouldn't your wife teach you what she needs? If you are as willing to learn as you appear to be, I think she would be making a huge mistake not to jump at the chance. Guys like you don't grow on trees!

I definitely think SS21 needs to be in some sort of 12-step program. Al-Anon is okay, but it tends to be more geared towards spouses of alcoholics. ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) is a GREAT program, but the meetings are harder to find. My mom is an alcholic. She has been sober for 7 years now. She drank from the time I was 8 years old until I was 21. It SUCKED. There is no other word...it really, really SUCKED. I grew up in a very affluent home and community. Dad has a Phd. Mom has two Masters degrees. My brother and I attended private schools from the start, summer camps, country clubs, exepensive SUVS when we turned 16... And it was the most unhappy existence because everything in our lives was a farce....I remember feeling like I was this MASK of a person, like I was an actor playing a role, I couldn't let anyone see that my mom was a drunk. As a girl, it was devastating to have my mother emotionally abandon me over and over. I felt like NO ONE knew the real me, everything was a big secret, and I just put up this huge wall around myself. My mom was a binge drinker--she would NEVER drink in public. She started drinking while cooking dinner when we were little--she was stressed w/two little kids--and my dad would come home from work and expect the house to be perfect, dinner to be ready, etc. So that's how it started. By the time I was 9-10, about 4 or 5 times a year, she would drink herself into a stupor and pass out for DAYS. We would find bottles of vodka hidden all over the house. She started seeing a psychiatrist and he prescribed valium. She almost killed herself mixing the valium and alchol more times than I care to think about... By the time I was 14-16, she had been all over the country to different rehab centers. I had seen her be carted out of our house in an ambulance several times. My brother and my dad and I sat in the hospital with her while she ripped IVs out and spit at the doctors and nurses. She was pulled over for drunk driving a couple times, but becasue she was an attractive white woman in a Mercedes in a nice area, the police would always feel sorry for her, and call my dad to pick her up. The counselor our entire family was seeing sat my brother and I down and said our mom was very likely to die. My dad filed for divorce when I was 17, and it was granted when I was 18. The damage to me was really deep, and I didn't even realize it myself until a few years ago, and got into ACOA. The issues are so far-reaching. Adult Children have so many personality traits and characteristics, and behavioral issues that really cannot be ignored. I would seriously urge your SS to get into some sort of group where he is working a program and actively addressing the issues/pain that haunts him. It probably wouldn't be a bad thing for you and your DH to go to Al-Anon or even some open ACOA meetings so you can understand. THe sense of entitlement doesn't surprise me at all..that is a definite characteristic of an adult child. ..guess at what normal is. ...have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end. ...lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. ...judge themselves without mercy. ...have difficulty having fun. ...take themselves very seriously. ...have difficulty with intimate relationships. ...overreact to changes over which they have no control. ...constantly seek approval and affirmation. ...feel that they are different from other people. ...are either super responsible or super irresponsible. ...are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved. My mom finally got sober when I was PG with my DD. I really feel that maybe knowing she was going to be a grandma was what it took for her....who knows...I will say, she is a WONDERFIL grandma, my DD ADORES her. My mom has made ammends to me and to my brother, and even my dad. She has said to me that she cannot change what she did in the past, or her parenting mistakes with us...but she can make up for it by being a wonderful, loving grandmother to my daughter. She definitely does. She wasn't a BAD mom to us..when she was sober, she was GREAT. She read to us every single night, played games, took us on awesome trips, hugged us all the time, and was really involved in schools and everything. But it took me really getting serious about working through my own issues to REMEMBER those good things. I was so focused on the bad for so long.... But all that did was hurt ME. LETTING GO and forgiving my mom was the best thing I ever did. And I am so happy we have a GREAT relationship today, and that she is in recovery. I wish you and your SS the best.