Hello Sorry to be MIA, my computer is being stupid, I talked my hubby into leaving me his iPad this week so I can get on line. I want to post some thank yous. ... Chefconnie sent me a nice hand made card with radish, cosmos, basil, carrots, fennel and pie pumpkins. Jimryder sent me lavender cat nip and red cosmos. Kchd sent me wildflower mix Margarita10 sent me orange and yellow cosmos. Sandy soil sent me basil, cosmos, and coneflower. Salsa canner( funny I'm a salsa canner too,ummm salsa) sorry got distracted sent me sunflowers, parsley, radish, carrots, onion, cosmos, basil, toms. Thank you very much, love all the seeds and cards. My card ribbon is looking great. I saved my cards from last year and had fun looking at them. Happy mail boxing. Michelle

JJ, Renal failure is extremely common in elderly cats (and often in not-so-elderly cats). Unfortunately, it is as variable a disease as are the number of cats who endure it. There really are no "norms" where renal failure is concerned. There are cats who live for years after diagnosis, and there are cats who fail very quickly. The only thing you can "expect" with renal failure is the inevitable end. It is a terminal diagnosis. As lf mentioned, many of the symptoms of CRF are manageable. The keys to management of CRF are education and vigilant caretaking. You have already been given the URL to one CRF website, but the website which I consider to be the "CRF Bible" is linked below. If you spend as much time as possible reading through these sites, you will learn a tremendous amount about this disease, its associated ailments, and its management. There is nothing more important you can do for your cat right now than to educate yourself about CRF. To answer your questions, at-home subQ fluid administration is a critically important skill to acquire and practice. Your vet can and should teach you how to do the fluid administration, and the websites offer pictorial tutorials to reinforce the procedure and offer helpful tips that your vet might not mention. You'll probably find it a bit nerve-wracking at first, but you'll get the hang of it, and your cat will become more and more cooperative as you become more proficient. It really is a life-saving procedure that provides considerable health benefits to the CRF cat with negligible (if any) discomfort. Perhaps the most difficult aspect of CRF is that a cat's condition can change from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. A cat who is critically ill one day may rally to relative health the next ... or not. We CRF caretakers tend to hold out for the next rally because it's so difficult to tell when a bad day will turn around or when it really does mark the end. If your cat does require hospitalization at some point, you will just need to trust your instincts and your knowledge of your own cat to help you decide whether to give him a chance to rally or to let him go. I, too, have a cat who is in the early stages of CRF with slightly elevated BUN and CREA values. He's my fourth CRF cat, and I know that he could become critical at any moment, or he could live in reasonable health for years. I've been down this road before, so I know what to watch for. I'll be having bloodwork run on him every 3 mos or more frequently if he becomes symptomatic. When his brother developed renal failure a year ago, I couldn't get his condition stabilized and was having to run bloodwork every couple of weeks to keep up with his changing blood values and symptoms. Unfortunately, I lost Bitsy just 3 mos after diagnosis. My first CRF cat, though, lived quite happily for 4 yrs after diagnosis. That's how variable this disease can be. I know you must be feeling overwhelmed right now, and you'll probably feel even moreso once you start reading the CRF websites. Don't let all the info make you crazy. I had to read the same info many, many times before it sank in and stuck. Just remember that the more you know about this disease, the better you'll be able to manage your boy and keep him comfortable and reasonably healthy for as long as possible. I wish you and your cat the best, Laurie Here is a link that might be useful: Tanya's CRF Information website

Lovemykids Too, I'm so sorry you are going through this. There are a lot of parents who have been through similar things, so don't feel like you are the only one. We went through some difficult times with one of my kids, so I sympathize with you and I have advice. First, nurture and take care of your marriage. For a lot of couples these kinds of problems take a toll on a marriage. Next, even if your son won't go to counseling, you can go. Particularly if he has anxiety and/or depression you may want to get some tips on how to handle this from a professional. If you haven't been to counseling before then keep in mind you may have to try more than one to find someone you can relate to. My husband and I found a wonderful counselor who had been through a lot of the same things our child had been through, but the first counselor we tried was a useless waste of time. If it were my child, I would consider paying for a cell phone for my son. It would be worth it to me to be able to call him directly if he went back to live at his girlfriend's house. But you don't owe him a cell phone and don't pay for one if you don't want to. In my opinion you are doing the right thing about the car. If the car becomes a major point of contention then I might even sell it or keep it and store it somewhere else. Since I'm not familiar with the situation I am just guessing, but perhaps the situation might partially resolve itself as time goes on? I can't imagine your son's girlfriend's parents like having an unemployed 19 year old man around who can't help pay for food and has no car. Hmmm, sleeping on the couch, sharing a car, burden on girlfriend's family....betcha there's more to that story than he's telling. Maybe girlfriend will lose interest after a few months if he has no more money. I would talk to the counselor about what to do when your son swears at you and says he hates you. Our daughter never did that and I have no idea what to do but I would be very reluctant to allow a grown man (or woman), even my own child, swear at me and say he hates me while he was standing in my own house. I would sit down with my husband and my son and work out a formal agreement between adults who live in the same house. I would go to a neutral location, like a local McDonald's, sit down with a cup of coffee and a notepad and tell him that you respect the fact that he is an adult. Ask him to tell you what he thinks parents should expect from an adult son living in their house and what adult sons should expect from their parents. Hear him out. Stay calm. Although he is sort of an adult, he's a very young adult, so model the behavior you wish he would use. If he starts getting angry or if you start getting angry, you can always stop the session with "I'm glad we sat down and talked together, it has been very helpful to hear what you think, let us think about it and we'll talk again tomorrow". If he is talking without swearing or yelling then be sure to end the session before he gets tired or overwhelmed and the situation deteriorates. Resist the urge to keep pushing through because he's been *good*. At this point you want to start a pattern of reasonable communication more than you want the agreement, although you do want the agreement. Another tool in your toolbox is "convince me". Instead of convincing HIM that you are right, ask him to convince you. I think I would find something that you think you could compromise on and let him convince you before I started on something bigger. Another great phrase is "you are an adult and I know you will figure this out". Also excellent is "what is your plan", a very versatile phrase. Also good is "you are an adult, adults contribute to the household they live in, how do you plan to contribute to this household". Adults living in a household pay their way, either rent, chores, or both. My daughter asked to discuss our issues by email and I was reluctant to do that, but it worked out much better for her and surprisingly also for her dad. We handled some in person but some in email. Work out consequences for infractions, yours and his. Don't agree to consequences that you won't follow through on. Don't tell him he can't live there if he doesn't mow the grass unless you're prepared to make him move out if he doesn't mow the grass. Not all consequences have to be negative. Maybe one of his consequences has to be finding a joke that makes the whole family laugh, maybe he has to figure out how to make ganache for the family or you get to wake him up with a silly song in the morning. Maybe the family has to eat dinner and talk to one another only through sock puppets, or he has to learn to say a phrase of your choice in Italian. Or give him a choice out of 3 things. I picked something that my daughter could not do without laughing and that worked like magic. She couldn't wallow in her role as martyred victim if she was laughing. Stay calm. Make sure you and your husband are on the same page. If your son starts swearing, yelling, saying hateful things or if you start getting angry you can always tell him that you are stepping away for now until you can all talk like reasonable adults. Your theme is reasonable, calm, adult. It may take some time to change the dynamic and don't expect overnight change. Since your son has anxiety and depression, it would probably be very helpful if there is some kind of exercise or outdoor activity he would do with your husband, you, or a sibling. Kayaking? Rock climbing or bouldering? Disc golf? Geocaching? That phone Pokemon thing together? I doubt you will accomplish anything positive by criticizing the girlfriend. Just try not to dwell on the girlfriend in your head. I tried very hard to remember that I taught my daughter to do the right thing, and if she wasn't doing it that was on her, not her boyfriend. Your best hope is that you taught your son well and hopefully he will recognize the flaws in his girlfriend over time and they will either both grow up and be better people or he will end that relationship. Having 5K, blowing it all because his girlfriend wanted him to and ending up with no job, no car, and no money to do fun things with that girlfriend is a priceless lesson that could save him untold amounts of grief later in life. Don't be manipulated, it won't help your son. Have confidence in yourself and remember that what you want is a responsible, reasonable, self-supporting son in the long run. My once-difficult daughter is now a kind, thoughtful, responsible, hard-working, delightful adult who is as lovely on the inside as she is on the outside, which is saying a lot because she's very pretty. I could not ask for a better daughter. And her bratty boyfriend is now a wonderful, responsible, hard-working, delightful adult who is a much-loved and wanted member of our family (they married last year). But in the thick of our difficult times all I could do was try to do the right thing, hang on and hope for the best. Best of everything to you and your family and hang in there.

Mine only get the rain, some of the fans rotted last year in the summer too. I would check the hole at the bottom of the pot is not blocked, shove a screwdriver of something similar in from the bottom. Maybe if you drench them with Champion copper at the recomended rate 1 tsp to a litre of water, that will help with the rot. Mine is about 10 years old and been in this pot for about 6-7 years. Have a look naturallynatives.co.nz may have some advice there I have only ever given it fert once, it is due to be repotted but I think I will have to smash the pot to get it out.