This thread came from the Soil, Compost and Mulch forum. Don't laugh too much - if you are a serious gardener these symptoms will soon be appearing in you. Enjoy.

You Know You are a Compost Whacko When.......

Posted by ryanzone7 professor dirt (My Page) on Sun, Sep 15, 02 at 20:51

...you stand at the edge of a field that belongs to some complete stranger (150 miles from your own home) staring at the cow pies just layin there, wondering how to go about getting a couple of 'them thar piez' for your compost pile back home.(it's kinda like a pet animal. cept it's compost!)

...you work on setting up new pallet bins at 11:30 at night.

...you give a look of horror to a non-composter when they tell you they don't compost this or that.
As they look at you with horror when you tell them that you DO compost this or that.

ialbtc

* Posted by: jake_h z5 KS (My Page) on Sun, Sep 15, 02 at 21:44

...you water the grass to get some greens-not to make it look good.

...you drive 30 miles to rake some leaves to get browns.

...you let stuff get old in the fridge just so that you can compost.

...when poop is your best friend

* Posted by: Trudi_d 7, Long Island (My Page) on Sun, Sep 15, 02 at 22:03

I LOVE bush pruning day! All the prunings goes onto the lawn and whacked up with the lawnmower...it's an instant mix of greens and browns.

Ferocious storms are cool too as all the leaves blow off the trees and limbs with branches come crashing down. Branches can be mowed into smaller pieces and limbs can get used as log-edging for beds. If you get enough you can make a new bed with everything. Frame it in with the limbs, chop up the branches with the lawnmower when you cut the grass, then dump the bag straight onto the soil in the newly created bed for mulch, wait a couple of weeks for it to heat up and cool down, and then plant through the mulch with shrubs or perennials.

* Posted by: CarrieB z6b/7a Phila. (My Page) on Sun, Sep 15, 02 at 22:31

...you spend countless hours in the nearby empty lot chopping up weeds - seedheads and all - in order to achieve critical mass to fill a recently emptied bin.

...you schlep contractor bags full of weeds and clippings from the community garden (bypassing community piles) to add to home bins.

...you find packages of putresceables tossed over the fence, like alms to the poor, and know it could have come from any number of sources.

...every so often you wonder how whacked your friends, family and colleagues really think you are. And occasionally, you wonder too.

* Posted by: eaglesc_technowhacko z7/8 SC (My Page) on Sun, Sep 15, 02 at 23:26

...you check this forum the last thing before you go to bed and then the first thing in the morning.

...you plant winter rye in the fall so you can mow your lawn all winter for the greens for the fall leaves.

* Posted by: Erka Z8, Vancouver (My Page) on Sun, Sep 15, 02 at 23:31

...when the trunk of your car contains: tarp, gardening gloves, waterproof shoes and garbage bags in case you come across seaweed, horse manure or other "greens"

...you drive up and down alleys and lanes, looking for bags of grass and leaves

...you take the temperature of the compost more often than the temperature of a sick spouse or child

* Posted by: AlbertaR z6 LINY (My Page) on Sun, Sep 15, 02 at 23:50

...when your hubby breaks down and finally buys a pick-up truck so so he can haul horse manure in it without stinking up the mini-van.

...when a friend on the other side of the country asks, "Do you compost"? and you spend a half hour typing out all the ingredients you (I) use in the piles, including breaking down what is greens and browns. BTW, this happened for real on Friday night.

Looking forward to the end of summer, so just so I can chop all the plants up and toss them in the pile, all to start it all over again for next year.

* Posted by: Tiffy_z6aCan 6a (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 0:24

...you and your husband are seen and heard on the front lawn after it has been mowed discussing whether the clippings would be better used in the compost to heat things up or left as an amendment to the lawn.

...you are seen at least 5 times a week walking through a shopping mall to get to your car lugging two 20 litre pails of chopped restaurant greens from each hand, and then explaining to people in the elevator what you're doing with them and actually talking with excitement in your voice. (I heard the word 'nuts' when the elevator door closed the other day.)

* Posted by: frostfreetemperate Coastal SoCal (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 0:32

...you go digging through the trash to retrieve compostables that your spouse threw away. When you take compostables home with you after taking the kids to see their grandparents (all three are too young to be embarrassed and my wife is immune).

* Posted by: Marty_H 6A Cincinnati (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 3:40

...you pull up this forum at 3-amazin-40 AM, after studying, before going to bed. Just to see what those other whackos are up to!

* Posted by: gertlee z5 Western NY (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 6:55

...you take the first week of October off from work because it's primetime for picking up your neighbor's grass clippings mixed with chopped-up leaves. Black gold!

* Posted by: ryanzone7 professor dirt (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 6:58

...you spend months looking for songs to "twist" into compost songs like; "Compost" instead of "Downtown" or "Moonflower" instead of "Moonshadow"

* Posted by: wormlady Aust (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 7:08

...when your husband is eying off the pile that you lovingly made and he wants to spread it. No way.

...when you have a finished pile and you think of it as black gold.

* Posted by: Robert_in_Paradise SunsetZone7CA (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 11:30

...you throw a birthday party for your 2 year old and then proceed to show all the other kids' parents your "dirt factory". Next you explain how pee is an important source of nitrogen and then invite them to go ahead and make a contribution if they wish.

* Posted by: Alfie_MD6 z6 MD (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 12:21

...when your husband tells your visiting mother-in-law to give you the moldy bran muffins from her car trip as her hostess present.

* Posted by: babsclare z5OH (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 12:21

...you let everyone think you buy veggies for your kids but in reality you relish the idea of those veggies going 'bad' in the crisper so you can compost them!(now that's just sick, isn't it.)

* Posted by: jjgump z5b OH (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 13:35

...you go out drinking all night just so you can come home and add some quality urine to your compost pile.

...you stick your arm in the center of the pile before every softball game for good luck.

* Posted by: Don_B 9/10 So Cal (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 14:01

...your DW winces in pain whenever guests ask you "how's the garden" because she knows they've started something that will never stop.

* Posted by: popsiclepatti 8/Canada (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 14:33

...you cannot go on a holiday because ...."Who will feed look after the worm bin....we'll have to take it with us!"

* Posted by: petrowizard z5a IL (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 14:56

...when all of the posts on this thread sound like completely normal behavior..........

* Posted by: Miss_Ellie 6 NJ (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 15:09

...you lurk around the 4H fairs, anxiously awaiting closing time so that you can muck out the stalls -- right into your carefully pre-selected containers. Then, you come back the next day, having carefully cultivated friendships with those exhibitors who have the most compost to give!

* Posted by: kathyp z9 CA (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 15:15

...you pack up your compost piles and move them to your new house.

...you ask your new neighbor to throw her grass clippings and fallen leaves over the fence into your yard.

...you tell the contractor building your house not to throw away the scrap wood, because the pieces will make excellent sides for compost bins and raised beds.

...you ask friends to save peels and other compostables, and then you send your kids over to pick them up.

...your yard is the envy of the neighborhood because your plants are so healthy and huge!!!!!!!

* Posted by: Lynng z6 Michigan (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 16:06

...you go to the city recycle center and PICK UP yard waste instead of dumping it. Last week I ended up with at whole pick up truck full of wood shavings!

* Posted by: cavamarie 9 FL (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 17:33

...you work 6 days a week in the office on a horse farm, and get up even earlier on your day off, to go BACK to work to park the truck at the broodmare barn so they can empty their wheelbarrows full of manure directly into your truck.

Me too, when I cant sleep, checking the forum to see what pearls of wisdom have been added to this list.

...you stand out in the driving rain, after lovingly building a lasagna bed, watching the rain soak into the bed. Aaaahhhh.

...your are excited cause the highlight of next weekend will be BUYING WORMS!!!!

Pity the rest of the world, its US who's normal.

* Posted by: idgy z6 WV (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 20:11

Oh thank you for the affirmations! The feeling of spooning that black gold onto my friends, and imagining that I hear their deep breaths of thanks-addicting.

* Posted by: KimPA z6 PA (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 20:31

...you want to be best friends with everyone on this thread!

* Posted by: annp z5 ME (My Page) on Mon, Sep 16, 02 at 21:27

...when every 30 mile trip to the seashore means two -- one to gather the seaweed and another to return the non-dead hitchhikers. Today six crabs and numerous mussels got returned home to the shore.
(Oh, by the way, good! I was worried this new herd wasn't whacko enough.) and, petrowizard, nice try. You cannot be the most compost whacko without specific evidence.
Marty, go to bed. Now, you dam fool.
Alfie, whacko supreme, started this same thread a year and a half ago and thus began a lot of whacko bonding. Dear Alfie. Dear Professor, thanks for resurrecting it.

* Posted by: ryanzone7 professor dirt (My Page) on Tue, Sep 17, 02 at 6:33

Alfie hit the mark when she first thought up the original topic.
it's been my most favorite.
and it's one that I think strikes a cord with all of us!
and.....

...you know you are compost a whacko when you try to convert everyone you encounter into a whacko.

* Posted by: Steve_in_Albuquerque z6 Albuquerque (My Page) on Tue, Sep 17, 02 at 8:08

...you wait for the water in the canal to dry up so you can collect carp for the pile of bark chips

* Posted by: Brit_G N TX (My Page) on Tue, Sep 17, 02 at 11:14

...you find yourself doing things you never would have dreamed of pre-compost, like raiding Home Depot's dumpster areas for broken bags they consider trash; go running EARLY in the morning with your dog so you can really scope other's bags of "yard waste" before they're collected; picking up those bags right after the run, rather than cooling off or taking a shower; putting quotation marks around "yard waste" because we know that's not an accurate phrase; making extra trips all over town to collect the buckets of kitchen scraps you've requested from all your friends & family; lay in bed at night, unable to sleep, because of the excitement of the new compost pile set-up you've been planning; read the other ideas on this thread & think, "why didn't I think of that" & specifically wonder how, as a female, is the easiest way to get my urine in the pile.

* Posted by: Apcohrs z5 IL (My Page) on Tue, Sep 17, 02 at 13:53

...you get all bent out of shape on vacation cause you cannot take all your leftovers home to the compost pile.

* Posted by: mulch_man z7b_SC (My Page) on Tue, Sep 17, 02 at 15:42

...you turn off the much hyped Monday Night Football game of the Redskins Fun-n-Gun vs. the Eagles crushing secondary because you hear rain and need to collect rainwater for your compost tea!!

* Posted by: Janet_LA z8b LA (My Page) on Tue, Sep 17, 02 at 19:57

...your husband (the teacher) walks into your Sunday school class announcing proudly "I brought you a present" and hands you an empty toilet paper roll. You just smile, say "thank you", and proceed to unwind it, flatten it, and put it in the outside pocket of your Bible cover. (wish I'd had a camera, lol)

* Posted by: Kathy92757 z6 PA (My Page) on Tue, Sep 17, 02 at 21:50

...you find yourself excitedly extolling the virtues of composting at a gathering of friends and notice more than one odd smile.

...you start patting yourself on the back for 'giving back to the earth' (one of your set composting phrases) and bringing 'beauty into the world' (another standard composting/rose growing phrase) and consoling yourself with the fact that while the world may be going to ruin you are doing YOUR part to make it a better place by tossing putrescibles into the bins.

...you start to notice that those frequently tossed tidbits of composting knowledge are starting to sound like college lectures....

* Posted by: Trudi_d 7, Long Island (My Page) on Tue, Sep 17, 02 at 22:58

I have a cantaloupe sitting and rotting on my picnic table. It was growing in the garden but the pill-bugs got to it.

I waiting for it to reach a certain moment of "squish-ability" so that when I heave it into the mulch pit I'll be encouraged to actually hurl it down so hard that it splats with a juicy-gishy sound and sprays its seeds and pulpy mass throughout the pit....coating everything in an eight foot radius and perhaps me too.

I may drink a glass of good wine first to toast its destruction.

AND

I've been feeding my morning glories. They're becoming enormous.

* Posted by: crazyone zone 3 (My Page) on Wed, Sep 18, 02 at 1:46

...you keep checking this thread to see just how weird composters can be and if you relate to the post :-)

- cordially, your newly converted compostee

* Posted by: hayseedman zone5/6 (My Page) on Wed, Sep 18, 02 at 11:07

...you know you're a compost whacko when you get it backwards and start looking at your garden as food for your compost bin instead of the compost as food for your garden.

That's not me. However, I think maybe my friend Dave in the Hydrangea Forum might qualify:

"Do any of you fine folks know how to force Hydrangea Macs into dormancy. We haven't had any frost yet, but I'm thinking about readying my plants for winter storage, and was wondering if weaning them of water would encourage leaf drop. I realize that leaving the leaves on won?t be a problem, but I got 14 plants, and all that future green compost would look good in my compost bin. Any info appreciated, thanks.
Dave "

* Posted by: want2fly_00 CharlotteNC (My Page) on Wed, Sep 18, 02 at 12:50

... your partner tells you so... after you declare that we are not flying, but taking a car to Florida this Thanksgiving to see your parents in case there are some "compostables" to be found there and I want to bring them home. Think of it, I can pile them up car high that is more suitcases than they will let you take on the plane? can?t wait!

* Posted by: Luvwest z6b NW-AR (My Page) on Thu, Sep 19, 02 at 10:52

...you lovingly gaze at your still blooming patch of canna's and wonder whether to chop them down now, shred them and add them to the compost. Or, wait until the first frost. sigh...

* Posted by: Kathy_GA zone 7 (My Page) on Thu, Sep 19, 02 at 14:18

...you're scanning the thread titles, see "Boy Scouts and composting" and your first thought is, "they've gone too far this time."

* Posted by: jajm4 z5 w. mass, usa (My Page) on Thu, Sep 19, 02 at 22:52

...you cry when you find out someone threw some rotten food out without asking you whether you wanted it first....

...you start thinking you don't want to be friends with so-and-so anymore because they don't compost

...you are desperate to move when your landlady says no to a compost pile

...you have your friends come in the middle of the night to take your worm bin to their house for a few days when you are having an inspection and can't hide it at your place. you smuggle it out under a blanket and everyone is absolutely terrified you'll get caught because they know that if that happens you will do something drastic and probably wind up homeless

but you don't care - it's worth it.

* Posted by: Linda_8B (My Page) on Thu, Sep 19, 02 at 23:27

Ah, the AA of composting! Take it one pile at a time and keep coming back, ya'll!

* Posted by: piegirl z5NELin (My Page) on Thu, Sep 19, 02 at 23:44

...you talked your best friend into bringing you real cow poop from her parents farm - in 20 lb bags and dried of course. Then this friend comes over yesterday and you proudly show her your new pile - layers of fresh cut grass, old leaves, and layers of black angus. Her eyes kinda glazed over and rolled back alittle "but you already have 3 piles. . . ." Her vehicle is nicknamed the poopmobile. Getting up early tomorrow a.m. to see if that new pile is steaming - so glad to be among friends - piegirl p.s only a really true friend would bring you bags and bags of real manure.

* Posted by: Miss_Ellie 6 NJ (My Page) on Fri, Sep 20, 02 at 15:36

...when the gentleman who kindly moves the carton overflowing with 1 lb ziploc bags of coffee grounds that you have dutifully brought home from work, and gingerly placed on the seat next to you on the bus, so that he can get the last seat, not only listens to you wax lyrical for the entire hour ride on the joys of composting...but asks for your number!

* Posted by: Brit_G N TX (My Page) on Fri, Sep 20, 02 at 18:08

...you have such a close, personal relationship with compost that it's willing to pick up men for you. (he he he, Miss Ellie. That was at your expense.)

* Posted by: veilchen z5 S. Maine (My Page) on Sun, Sep 22, 02 at 8:46

...you hesitate to show off your finished piles to certain gardening friends (who can't be bothered to save kitchen scraps and hoard leaves/grass, would be too embarrassed to ask at the grocery for scrap vegetables, are too lazy to haul seaweed, wouldn't dream of spending a day collecting manure) because they may ask again to "borrow" some compost.

* Posted by: jajm4 z5 w. mass, usa (My Page) on Sun, Sep 22, 02 at 13:30

that last one really burned my nerves!!! that would make me go from whacko to psycho!!!! no free haul for the squeaminsh!!!! you want my compost you give me your trash!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

* Posted by: sjm_qc Z3/4 QC (My Page) on Sun, Sep 22, 02 at 14:15

...you check this forum before your email in the morning

...your kids collect OTHER kids' compostables as well as their own and bring them home from school in their lunch boxes.

... you volunteer to take on the school's create a garden project so you can get first dibs on the raw materials it will (eventually) generate, and the first thing you mark on the plans is a place for the pile

...while on vacation you save compostables and have a major blowup with your spouse about carting them home to the pile in the already overloaded car (the compost won that one BTW!)

...as the snow melts in the spring you spend hours sitting on a rock just contemplating the pile as it emerges and you neighbours eventually come out to ask what you're doing...

* Posted by: sjm_qc Z3/4 QC (My Page) on Sun, Sep 22, 02 at 14:19

...although you have a raging fever and can hardly stand upright, you stop off to go to a lecture on composting on the way to the doctors and end up hauling the free bin you got at the end all the way to the hospital with you

* Posted by: foxbuild 6b (My Page) on Mon, Sep 23, 02 at 11:45

...you quite cleverly time your daughter's nap to coincide with optimal manure collecting conditions in order to ensure a sleeping child in the pick-up truck (as opposed to awake child climbing worlds biggest horse manure pile as you feverishly shovel), all the while, your eyes dart down side roads during the half-hour trip in search of curbside "goodies", the only thing that will keep you one minute off schedule. p.s., optimal manure collecting conditions include but are not limited to cooler temps., slight breeze and absence of DH! (he doesn't get it)p.s.s., my kids don't have asthma or allergies!

* Posted by: Brit_G N TX (My Page) on Mon, Sep 23, 02 at 14:40

...you get in the car which has been sitting in the hot sun & say "woo, what is that awful smell in here", then remember the bucket of compostables in the back you collected last Friday which has been sitting in it ever since. Then you suddenly LIKE the smell & get all giddy thinking about it.

* Posted by: flora_uk SW UK 8/9 (My Page) on Mon, Sep 23, 02 at 15:56

...when your car is full of fruit flies.

* Posted by: Apcohrs z5 IL (My Page) on Mon, Sep 23, 02 at 16:01

Fruit FLIES !!!!! YES!

* Posted by: TBLadybug z9 CA (My Page) on Wed, Sep 25, 02 at 20:50

...your chiropractor asks how you're doing and you wrench around to say, "OOOOOHHHH! My husband
made me a beautiful composting bin!" and then proceed to tell her how to fix her dripping, stinky, oozing pile (just read it here the other day!)

I can't stop wriggling cause I have a bootiful new bin! 2 bins wide, made all of recycled wood and
tomato caging from around the yard :) HAPPY DANCE!

And I think its cute that my dogs want to dig in the piles. I had to put closures on the side doors
of the bins to keep them from helping themselves. They're happy composting puppies too!

* Posted by: Trudi_d 7, Long Island (My Page) on Wed, Sep 25, 02 at 22:06

...you remember back to your "early years" when you longed for something better than a 14 year old POS Chevette with a hatchback to drive around in.

The hatchback is now fondly remembered and direly missed.

* Posted by: albert_135 ) on Thu, Sep 26, 02 at 15:07

...you live in a tiny apartment with room for a ficus and one other plant AND YOU STILL FOLLOW THE COMPOST FORUM DAILY!

* Posted by: Nelz z5a/6 NW PA (My Page) on Thu, Sep 26, 02 at 15:30

I couldn't even read this list I was crying so hard and I thought I was going to wet myself. I know some of these were used, but these all fit me.

...you rent a pick-up for the weekend solely for collecting bagged leaves, and other garden amendments. You then ask the rental agent about just how clean it has to be upon return.

...you ask total strangers about their lawn care practices and hope they say they do nothing (no chem services)

...your neighbors actually call you before raking to see if you'll be around to accept the leaves

...you drool over the manure piled on carts at the county fair and wonder (aloud to DW) who to ask about getting a few dumped at your place

...a side effect of juicing is a healthier you. After you do juice for the fine addition to the pile.

...it maybe late in the season, but plant all those old unreliable germinating seeds anyway. If no veggies before frost, at least you've got compost material.

I don't quite consider myself a whacko, but this thread is too funny. I'll have to keep it for therapy in mid winter when a pitchfork won't even penetrate my pile.

* Posted by: pjwould z5 MI (My Page) on Thu, Sep 26, 02 at 17:52

... you see a certain person (who's a mere acquaintance, actually) once or twice a year at a party, and the first thing she always says to you is, "Do you want some horse manure? We have plenty! Come and get it!"

... you listen in disbelief as your second-grader's friend's father, who's also a fairly new acquaintance, bemoans the fact that he doesn't know what to do with all the oak leaves he rakes up every fall. "The leaves are really a big problem," he says. Then, when you ask if he'll give them to you, he says incredulously, "Do you really want them?"

* Posted by: GrannyAnt ACT Aust (My Page) on Thu, Sep 26, 02 at 21:27

I cornered a young man behind the fruit/veg shop the other day and he graciously, but with sort of a frown and a rather quizzical look, dived into the hopper for me to collect the greens that I couldn't reach for the chooks and bunnies., and I couldn't help but laugh at his query, "do you come here often? - - -er, uh, I mean, do you often do this?" Nearest thing I've had to a chat-up in years. lol . . . Granny

* Posted by: Luvwest z6b NW-AR (My Page) on Thu, Sep 26, 02 at 21:55

albert 135, you need a worm bin!
check out the vermicomposting forum.

* Posted by: Miss_Ellie 6 NJ (My Page) on Thu, Sep 26, 02 at 23:01

If this were a meeting for a 12 step program, instead of a forum, the dialog would go something like this:

Standing with my eyes downcast, surveying the floor, hunched in a "dog-with-its-tail-between-its-leg look" I would say:

"I'm Eleanor T. and I'm, I'm a composter..."
The crowd responds.."welcome Eleanor.."
"I'm kinda new to composting, but, I think I'm in trouble..Today, I signed up for horseback riding lessons, so I could get as much access as possible to the manure and bedding..I told my family its because I have been wanting to learn since I was a little girl. But, but I know the truth, I know its because I really just want to keep adding that beautiful manure to my pile. I'm lying to my family and friends about my composting now!"

"It's OK, Ellie, your among friends.."
"We've all been there, Ellie, you can tell us..."

* Posted by: Brit_G N TX (My Page) on Fri, Sep 27, 02 at 11:09

"I've, I've gotten to the point of pressuring my boyfriend to pee in the pile when he comes over. I've almost forbidden use of the bathroom to him."

* Posted by: ellen_s z5 MA (My Page) on Mon, Sep 30, 02 at 9:06

Oh my!! I never thought I could laugh so hard about compost :-) Thanks for the giggles!!!!

...when high winds cause an enormous branch of one of your maple trees to fall to the ground, instead of lamenting the damage to the tree, you look at it and think "oh good, there are loads of leaves on that branch that I can shred for my compost pile"!!

* Posted by: Adina Zone 7, Atl GA (My Page) on Tue, Oct 1, 02 at 10:36

I had a dream that I used my tomato bed as a--well, as a *bed*. I remember thinking in the dream that it was just a little too long for my full-sized sheets to fit right. It was so soft and fluffy and inviting after adding all that compost, after all....

* Posted by: Annie_nj z6b (My Page) on Tue, Oct 1, 02 at 14:47

... you are on a drive-thru "safari" and you point out all the large piles of poop to your kids instead of the lions and tigers.

* Posted by: jade13 z8 WA ) on Tue, Oct 1, 02 at 16:07

composting a whole cow hmm...

...you start looking at your seed-fed birds droppings as little gems.

...you have dreams that you are trekking through marsh and woods in search of the perfect compost.

...you dream you are at the zoo asking if they allow you to take the elephant poo and it turns out to be a nightmare when their response is no we incinerate it!

* Posted by: manifoldsky zone 6, PA (My Page) on Tue, Oct 1, 02 at 16:59

...you seriously consider quitting your job so that you can go to work with the local city garden waste collection department so that you can get PAID to compost full-time

* Posted by: manifoldsky zone 6, PA (My Page) on Tue, Oct 1, 02 at 17:00

...you QUIT your job so that you can go to work with the local city garden waste collection department so that you can get PAID to compost full-time.

* Posted by: manifoldsky zone 6, PA (My Page) on Tue, Oct 1, 02 at 4:06

...you have yellowing leaves on your plants, so you eat as much meat as you can, drink 8 litres of soda and camp out in the bathroom.

* Posted by: PegR 6 (My Page) on Mon, Sep 30, 02 at 10:22

...you know you've gone over the edge when you have dinner with friends and they offer you a bag of potato peelings and coffee grounds on your way out . . .

* Posted by: Carpe_Diem_lilies z9 TX (My Page) on Thu, Oct 3, 02 at 3:42

...you have your local power company's phone # on "speed dial," and call them every week from spring through fall to ask WHERE they'll be cutting (and mulching!) tree limbs around power lines - because if it's within a few miles of you, they'll gladly dump a full truck-load of mulched greens & browns wherever you ask them to, rather than PAY to haul it to the dump! Oh, JOY!

* Posted by: Luvwest z6b NW-AR (My Page) on Thu, Oct 3, 02 at 15:15

...you understand the meaning of life...........ialbtc

* Posted by: cjlambert 6b Tulsa (My Page) on Thu, Oct 3, 02 at 16:15

...you empty the lunch bags each evening and are thrilled to find baggies of banana peels and coffee grounds

I'm making my first batch of compost tea and found great suggestions in this forum and want to thank everyone! My husband turned me on to composting and he's my chief conspirator. He hurries to work in the morning to make all three pots in the coffee machine, then steals the grounds before anyone else gets there.

* Posted by: pjwould z5 MI (My Page) on Mon, Oct 7, 02 at 13:06

...you go for a walk and note a moving van pulled into the driveway at a nearby house. Instead of thinking about doing the neighborly thing (welcoming the new neighbors to the hood), you covet their large cardboard cartons (wardrobe boxes!) and wonder how you can snag them.

* Posted by: Brit_G N TX (My Page) on Mon, Oct 7, 02 at 16:51

...your boss says, while referring to a possible real estate deal going through, "It's realy heating up", & you look at him a second, confused, because you really think he's talking about your compost pile at home & wonder what that has to do with what ya'll had been talking about. You go further to say "thanks for asking. Yeah, it's going pretty well. I got out this weekend & turned it". Maybe I can compost all that egg on my face.

* Posted by: Alfie_MD6 z6 MD (My Page) on Mon, Sep 30, 02 at 10:38

...you write poetry about compost. Yes, I mean you, pj.

Gold Leaves and Brown

--with apologies to Dr. Seuss, who was born March 2, 1904

~pj

Gold leaves and brown!
Gold leaves and brown!
I do not like
gold leaves and brown!

I do not shred leaves,
gold or brown.
I do not spread them
on the ground.

Would you shred them
here or there?

I would not shred them
here or there.
I would not shred them
anywhere.
I do not shred
gold leaves and brown.
I do not spread them
on the ground.

Would you shred them
at Tom's house?
Would you shred them
with your spouse?

I would not shred them
at Tom's house.
I would not shred them
with my spouse.
I would not shred them
here or there.
I would not shred them
anywhere.
I do not shred gold leaves or brown.
I will not have them on the ground.

Would you toss them
in a box?
Would you mix in
guts of lox?

Not in a box.
Nor guts of lox.
Not at Tom's house.
Not with my spouse.
I would not shred them here or there.
I would not shred them anywhere.
I would not shred gold leaves or brown.
I will not spread them on the ground.

Would you? Could you?
With annp?
Try it! Try it!
And you'll see.

I would not,
could not,
with annp.

You may like it
with annp.
You may like weeds
from the sea!

I would not like weeds from the sea,
Nor with annp! You let me be.

I won't shred leaves! Nor do I wish
To mix them up with bits of fish!
I do not lay them in a trench.
I do not stash them 'neath a bench.
I do not shred leaves here or there.
I do not shred them anywhere.
I do not shred in Hingham, Mass.
I will not have them on the grass!

A bin! A bin!
A bin! A bin!
Could you, would you,
in a bin?

Not in a bin! Not with annp!
And not with weeds plucked from the sea!

I would not, could not, ever wish.
To mix up leaves with scraps of fish.
I will not throw them in a pit.
I will not mix in bunny ****.
I will not shred them here or there.
I will not shred them anywhere.
I do not shred gold leaves or brown.
I do not like them on the ground.

Say!
Marty_H?
With Marty_H!
Would you shred with Marty_H?

I wouldn't, couldn't
with Marty_H.

Would you with professor dirt?

I could not, with professor dirt,
Nor Marty_H, nor till it hurt.
Nor with annp, nor near the sea,
I won't shred leaves at all, you see.
Not at Tom's house. Not with my spouse.
Not with a box or bits of lox.
I will not shred leaves here or there.
I will not shred them anywhere!

Then would you heap
them whole, like Sand?

I do not
want leaves
on my land!

Would you shred them
as you wed?

I would not,
could not,
as I wed!

Would you
add a crow
that's dead?

I could not add a crow that's dead,
I could not, would not, as I wed.
I could not with professor dirt.
I would not cache leaves in a yert.
Not with annp! Not near the sea!
Not in a bin heaped to my chin!
I won't mix leaves with used-up grounds.
You will not see me making rounds.
I won't go on a nightly raid.
I will not join your leaf brigade.
I will not shred leaves here or there.
I do not want leaves ANYWHERE!

I do not shred
gold leaves
or brown!

I will not have them
hanging round!

But would you shred them in New York?
And could you fluff them with a fork?
I could not, would not, in New York.
I would not, could not, with a fork.

Then could you shred them in B.C.?
Or up in Calumet, U.P.?
I could not shred them in B.C.!
I would not shred in the U.P.!
I could not shred at dusk or dawn.
I do not want leaves on my lawn!

Would you, with Alfie, in Zone 6?
Could you grind them up with sticks?
I would not, could not, in Zone 6!
I could not grind them up with sticks.

Or would you mow them up with grass?
And could you take a second pass?
I would not mow them up with grass.
I could not take a second pass!

You don't shred leaves
Or so you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.

Oh, geez.
If you will let me be,
I will try it.
You will see.

Say!
I like leaves shred and down!
I do! I like them on the ground!
And I would mix in horsey poop.
And I would mix it with the Froup!

And I would shred leaves with Bill_G,
And even moisten them with pee.
I'd shred with Monte, East or West!
I'd even shred with LeslieS.

I'd shred with Alfie, in Zone 6!
I'd gladly grind leaves up with sticks!
And I would mow them up with grass.
And I would take a second pass.
I'd mix them up with used Starbucks.
And happ'ly trade my cars for trucks.
And I would murmur Oui, j'adore,
As I shred leaves forevermore....

I do so like
gold leaves and brown!
I do!
I'll spread them
on the ground!

* Posted by: pjwould z5 MI (My Page) on Mon, Sep 30, 02 at 15:30

Alfie, thanks. You made my day.

~pj

* Posted by: Miss_Ellie 6 NJ (My Page) on Mon, Sep 30, 02 at 16:17

Bravo pj!!!! And thanks so much for sharing with us Alfie! Suitable for framing doesn't begin to describe your poem's brilliance. It requires an illuminated manuscript page with glorious calligraphy, and scenes of hoes, piles, tilling, and compost forks in the borders. Magnificent!

* Posted by: annp z5 ME (My Page) on Mon, Sep 30, 02 at 19:32

Our pj! (Thank you, Alfie.)

* Posted by: Marty_H 6A Cincinnati (My Page) on Mon, Sep 30, 02 at 20:13

That is one great poem! Always to be cherished!

* Posted by: Trudi_d 7, Long Island (My Page) on Mon, Sep 30, 02 at 20:21

That's a really cool poem. Who's got the codes to upload the FAQs?....I think that should go into the FAQs!

Really.

Bravo!

Trudi

* Posted by: veilchen z5 S. Maine (My Page) on Tue, Oct 1, 02 at 7:10

Still as funny as the first round, pj!

* Posted by Alfie_MD6 z6 MD (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 9:13

...your baby is in the hospital for dehydration (she's fine now), and you give your sweet husband the pre-mixed formula she doesn't finish at each feeding to take home for the compost. (But you hide this practice from the nurses because you couldn't even begin to explain it.) (And you consider hiding it from your fellow wackos as well, since it violates the bans on dairy and fats, but in the end you decide to 'fess up.)

* Posted by: Kay_H NE MI-Z5 (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 12:52

Last week I threatened my darling husband with physical harm if he dared to throw the coffee grounds into the garbage just one more time. Still trying to figure out that look he gave me.

* Posted by: compost_fascist 5 A-B (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 15:09

When you come in to this forum and even read the tedious techie postings, hoping to find some (smidgin of sanity and/or down to earth) details of composting.

* Posted by: MaryAnn_____Chgo 5 (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 15:23

...you read everything the Science Majors contribute here even tho' next to nothing really sinks into my small sponge of a brain.

* Posted by: Ohio_Green_Thumb Zone 5 NW Ohio (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 18:44

...when you buy fresh fruit and veggies and the first thought that that enters your head is that you can compost the stems and peels before you even think about how much more nutritious they are compared to canned or frozen veggies. I also specifically buy certain foods because I know my worms will enjoy the rinds after the meal. Compost first, then everything else!

* Posted by: ryanzone7 professor dirt (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 18:54

....you have no fear about composting anything.

....while eating in a restaurent you actually hear someone at another table say the word compost and you strain your ears to hear as much as you can and you consider moving to their table!
It all leads back to compost!

* Posted by: babsclare z5OH (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 20:34

...you watch movies such as "The Brotherhood of the Wolf"(and many others nowadays it seems)and instead of noting the wonderful(?) acting or great plot, etc.,you are most struck by all those compostable leaves piled upon the forest floor and you think silently to yourself, "I want those....I wonder if those leaves are still there...where did they shoot these scenes...LOOK at all those LEAVES." and the problem becomes that you cannot for the life of you concentrate on what the heck the movie is even about.It's all about compost and where you can find your next batch of OGM to satisfy your composting habit.I think I need help.

* Posted by: Trudi_d 7, Long Island (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 20:44

...you buy canteloupes on sale and watch them form little soft spots and they start to cave in. So much more fun than actually carving them up and eating them. And then is the truly exciting part. I have a compost pit and if I smash the rotting melon down hard enough into the pit it makes a very soul-satisfying Splaffftt sound when it breaks apart. I have to do it on the run otherwise I get sprayed with gishy canteloupe parts and seeds which are annoying to comb out of your hair.

* Posted by: MOgardener z5MO (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 20:53

....your aged pet sheep who has given you her beautiful black fleece her whole life is sick and may die and you see a link on one of the veterinary sites about composting dead sheep.

....when you talk to a health food store owner about selling winter salad greens from your cold greenhouse and tell her you will bring home what doesn't sell between deliveries just so you can compost what's not edible.

....when a lady with whom your husband works sends her coffee grounds to you, he has to be the courier and doesn't particularly appreciate that job. Isn't he a darling!?

* Posted by: spambdamn_rich z9 CA Sunset 15 (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 21:40

...when you have a pleasurable dream about hot composting...

* Posted by: Trudy z5 IA (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 21:50

...when you think you need to go out to your compost pile with a broken foot, (with the walker that MaryAnn sent to you), in -28 degrees, to turn compost that others think does not needed to be turned in the winter! Dont worry I didnt go. That was on Thursday, but believe me it is going to be maybe in the 40s this week, and I am going to the compost pile.

...when your husband is chipping Christmas trees, and you are sitting on the ground, crawling around on the ground because you have a broken foot, hand trimming the branches for my husband. The neighbors really think that I am a WACKO. Only two more weeks on the crutches, and another month with the walking boot, hopefully!

* Posted by: Belgianpup Wa/Zone 8 (My Page) on Sat, Jan 25, 03 at 22:56

...when your neighbor down the street has had her grass-only yard dethatched, & the gardener has left 38 bags of mowed and thatched grass by the curb for the garbage man, and you wait until after darkness falls to sneak out with your hand truck to collect them, two or three at a time. Up and down the street, sweating in the hot Las Vegas night, bag after bag, because you CAN'T leave ANY bags (that's WASTE).

And, when the bags are safely in the back yard, out of sight, you collapse with a cold glass of iced tea, and you start getting phone calls from the neighbors:

"WHAT are you DOING???"

And after you get the trimmings spread out all over the yard, you see the only neighbor that didn't watch you the night before staring at what looks fence-to-fence grass where only desert stood the day before.

"WHAT are you DOING, laying sod???"

* Posted by: Nelz z5b/6 NW PA (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 0:20

We got this one going again?! Alright, I just can't read it too late at night for fear of laughter waking the fam! Let's hear it for microbe liberators! aka leave and lawn debris thieves.

I loved the staring at a restaurant one (and the others too).

You know you're a whacko when...

...you volunteer to clean out the fridge so your DW (or DH) doesn't accidentally throw away the pre-cursor form of that black gold.

...you snow blow a path to the pile so you can get there easier.

...you take the snow shovel with you so you can dig out the leaf pile to have some browns to cover your kitchen scraps, even though they'll be frozen solid in a matter of hours (or maybe minutes).

...at you first master gardener class when everyone is introducing themselves to the class, you mention your affinity for the black gold and ask anyone if they have extra bags of leaves they could bring next week. BTW, no takers (or would it be bringers), we had composting in our first class so those who don't, are now.

* Posted by: PBSJones Sacramento 9 (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 0:59

To add a bit to Babsclare's post . . .

...you're watching "Cold Comfort Farm" and Seth, the doe-eyed, muscle-bound farmhand is pitching manure into a wagon, and all you can think is, "Ooh, it's steaming..!"

* Posted by: jxbrown z11 CA (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 1:31

You are looking longingly at a spilled garbage bag of vegetable scraps on the ground and your DH, looking upward, says, "Oh look, you can see the Eiffel Tower from here!"

* Posted by: KsKent z5/6 Ks (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 6:52

...when your DW throws the coffee grounds out of the coffee maker in the trash when she cleans it, and you are irritated because it would be better to never clean the coffee maker than waste those good coffee grounds.

* Posted by: AlbertaR z6 LINY (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 7:13

...you know you are a compost wacko...when visiting a sick friend a the hospital you spot a banana peel on her tray that is about to be removed and grab a napkin, wrap the banana peel in it and put it your coat pocket. Said friend, just sighed and shook her head, :)
Alberta

* Posted by: Willowtrree uk (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 8:41

...when you read these postings and can sympathize with them ALL.

...when you are peeling your veg for dinner and its getting smaller & smaller & thinner & thinner, then disappears, and you have to start again.

...when you realize your family are also becoming smaller & smaller & thinner & thinner........

* Posted by: kepster Z3 VT (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 9:15

I think I'm in love with every single one of you!

* Posted by: Auntiekathleen Maine 4 (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 9:28

...you see the heading "You know you're a compost wacko (again) when...", noticing that Alfie started it (again), and you actually read an on-topic post before going to conversations. (I'm going over to conversations now.)

* Posted by: Bill_G PNW OR (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 10:55

...(not to shock sensibilities here) .. when on your daily trek to work you walk past where someone sick "deposited" on the sidewalk, you grab a handful of wet leaves from under a bush, cover the mess, and then marvel as it all disappears over the ensuing weeks.

And Alfie, that milk is great for the lawn. Give it a fling. It will disappear in no time.

* Posted by: NotEnoughRoses 7b/NTX (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 14:39

...you make all your baby's food because you want the rinds and peels that making it will generate. Why pay some company to mash a banana or sweet potato for you when you can mash your own and *Bonus* have the peel for your pile!
Alfie - I had to pump for several weeks before my premature baby was strong enough to nurse and I always dumped his left-over bottles out the front door and into whatever flower pot looked like it needed a boost. Have to say, some of those plants never looked so good!
And - a year later - I am still mourning the fact that I could not compost my placenta!
Oh, and I also know that a car seat takes up the amount of space as three bags of leaves. And, since it isn't nice to bury your child under bags of leaves, you have to make a lot more trips if you happen to find a windfall of bagged leaves. (I thought about asking the neighbor to babysit for 10 minutes so I could cram all the leaves into my car in one trip, but decided she wouldn't understand so I just made a few more trips. Luckily, son slept through all this...)
And - all your neighbors already know that you are not allowed to bring home any more Christmas trees - but if a tree were to find its own way to your house, you are allowed to "keep" it... Now the neighbors bring their trees over so I can claim innocence and not get into trouble with the DH. ~ Suzie

* Posted by: Dirty_Digger QLD Aust (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 18:54

...when you have been a way for a month and the only thing you can think of on the plane home is what the compost looks like! Black Gold- my finest ever :))))

* Posted by: wavesmom sf calif (My Page) on Sun, Jan 26, 03 at 19:32

...when you are thinking about selling your house and moving and you have two thoughts: 1. the compost pile will drastically increase the price of the house, even more than a pool, probably, and 2. what if the new people don't take care of it? What if, oh my God, they STOP??? Can I make it a contingency of the sale that they follow my explicit instructions?

...when you instantly become the coolest mom on the block because you let all the neighborhood boys PP in the pile.

...when your neighbors KNOW you have gone over the edge because you let all the neighborhood boys PP in the pile.

...when you drive to another town and think about moving there because they have so many more trees and leaves and lawns than you do.

* Posted by: Nora_in_Vancouver 8b Wet Coast (My Page) on Mon, Jan 27, 03 at 0:01

...when it's only January and you have already used up half your stockpile of fall leaves, and you are starting to panic about what to do about browns when summer hits.

* Posted by: Joylene Vic.Australia (My Page) on Mon, Jan 27, 03 at 3:32

There have been a couple of feral cats put into our compost lately. They disappear in days in this summer Aussie heat! Joylene, in Southern Australia where it was 44oC under the verandah two days ago.

* Posted by: GNHering Zone6 NJ (My Page) on Mon, Jan 27, 03 at 20:00

...when you buy clementines at $5.00 a box instead of 10 oranges for 1.99 because clementine rinds will compost quicker....and you go through your kitchen garbage to retrieve what compostables your wife threw out.

* Posted by: eaglesc_technowhacko z7/8 SC (My Page) on Mon, Feb 3, 03 at 19:09

...when you find out that your boss's pigeon coop needs cleaning and you show up with 3 garbage cans and a fork and load up to your hearts content

* Posted by: Kelly_Slocum sw WA state (My Page) on Mon, Feb 3, 03 at 20:12

...while sitting in an upscale Dallas restuarant on a Friday night you and a group of colleagues are so engrossed in an animated discussion of composting/vermicomposting human cadavers that you fail to recognize the fact that you've offended every patron within earshot until the manager politely asks if your group would like to move to a table in a private room.

* Posted by: Marty_H 6A Cincinnati (My Page) on Mon, Feb 3, 03 at 20:47

(oooo, Kelly gets some sort of special award for that one!)

* Posted by: Nelz z5b/6 NW PA (My Page) on Mon, Feb 3, 03 at 21:06

vermicomposting cadavers, you're killing me! You obviously weren't in the restaurant where ryanzone7 was.

Joylene, are you actually composting the cats? That's cool, well I guess 44C (111.2F) isn't exactly cool.
I almost pee my pants when I read this. Gotta' run to the pile!

* Posted by: mtnbkr Boise/z6 (My Page) on Tue, Feb 4, 03 at 0:21

I confess--At work I put my banana peels, orange peels, etc. from my lunch into my sandwich baggie and take them home to the compost. When no one is looking I sometimes take someone else?s peel out of the garbage. Please don't tell my wife. Shhhhhhhh.......
Tom

* Posted by: Ohio_Green_Thumb Zone 5 NW Ohio (My Page) on Tue, Feb 4, 03 at 7:51

Aaaah! Tom, I've done the exact same thing...in fact I do this every week right before the garbage cans are emptied. I do my garbage digging very early in the morning before everyone else gets here! LOL I'm glad I'm not the only one who's doing this!

* Posted by: wavesmom sf calif (My Page) on Tue, Feb 4, 03 at 9:52

SCORE!

Someone at our office just re-did the recycling center and included a compost bucket. There are 15 of us here, mostly vegetarians, so we generate lots of material, plus all those coffee grounds and tea bags. No one else seems interested, so I get the results! Now I no longer have to come in early to sift through the trash.

It's a beautiful morning.

* Posted by: PegR 6 (My Page) on Tue, Feb 4, 03 at 11:31

...you get home from staying with your elderly parents who *both* underwent surgery in the same week (they're fine) and one of your first projects is to check out your compost pile to see if anything changed.

Sadly, the compost pile is frozen solid, but it helped me relax.

* Posted by: Kathy92757 z6 PA (My Page) on Tue, Feb 4, 03 at 21:57

...when you daydream about future composting....when you worry about the future compost because you are going to be out of town twice during compost season...when you worry that this same compost will be thoroughly ignored by your partner while you are out of town...

* Posted by: samiam_AB z3 AB (My Page) on Thu, Feb 6, 03 at 0:15

This link is hysterical. My contribution...when you overhear your four year old instructing his little friend that THIS pile is for recycling, THIS pile is for compost, and don't put anything in THIS pile (the garbage) 'cause Mommy will move it...

* Posted by: Nelz z5b/6 NW PA (My Page) on Thu, Feb 6, 03 at 0:52

Wacesmom, that's not a SCORE. That's a SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!

I'd make that big and bold but I don't know how!

Nice job! You may now be in a quandry. Do I share the benefits of composting or not, realizing when others are converted there's going to be some wrestling going on for the compost bucket!

* Posted by: Trudi_d 7, Long Island (My Page) on Thu, Feb 6, 03 at 9:43

...you spend hours reading inspirational literature so you can develop enough courage to ask at the little corner grocer if you could raid his dumpster for the outdated veggies.

...you find a quote from Shakespeare "our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt." and feel moved by it enough to enter into the store and buy a loaf of crusty bread....a beginning, at least.

* Posted by: nonAPI z5 UTAH (My Page) on Thu, Feb 6, 03 at 10:21

...you call for a moment of silence for those who need strength to overcome their fear of biotics and then spend several hours alone with your compost pile.

* Posted by: ryanzone7 professor dirt (My Page) on Thu, Feb 6, 03 at 20:29

You know you're a compost wacko (again) when.......
as you nurse a recent(and very painful) separated shoulder, you still stop on the side of the road to pick up (with your good arm) parts of a straw bale that fell off (and broke apart) of someone's truck and ended up on the roadside.
ialbtc

* Posted by: TikTok z8 W WA (My Page) on Thu, Feb 6, 03 at 21:27

...while clipping your finger nails, you wonder if the trimmings are compostable...? I figured probably, but didn't do it. Maybe I'm not quite a wacko yet...!

* Posted by: erphy waikato NZ (My Page) on Fri, Feb 7, 03 at 5:25

...when you take the name erphy and recognise your behaviour in these other posts..so many of us and yet so far...I cook to compost..buy to compost and primarily gardened but now i garden to compost...for ever feeding the geddies mouths..we now cut our own hair (and that of our friends on the condition they contribute to the compost)...a compost wacko?...when you lobby your neighbours for contributions....when you find yourself weeding as there is a space in a bin that requires filling....When you carry bags and spades in the car ready to reap....when you transfer compost by hand and get in a hugh ugly mess and you love it...see orange peel as a treasure...you chop every thing 5 cm long ...it all about making a cake... yup I?m in

* Posted by: erphy waikato NZ (My Page) on Fri, Feb 7, 03 at 6:00

ooohh thought of another one... you comb the cat daily so she can contribute to the compost too....When you?re eating watermelon and you get a hit from seeing the rinds mount up...when giving away vegetables you give only the bare essentials....you keep the cook at work happy with year round herbs so she gives you her veggie scraps..you go fishing to catch sprats to make tea for a compost accellerator....enough now...I know I?ve got it good

* Posted by: palyne Zone6 NE OK (My Page) on Fri, Feb 7, 03 at 12:01

This morning, minding my own business, I heard the lyrics,

And when I'm dead
If you could tell them this
That what was wood
Became alive
What was wood
Became alive...

[Suzanne Vega]

And I thought of composting. Now you see? I am not even composting YET and already you guys have helped warp my brain! I've had phases where I thought of a love every time I turned on the radio. Great. Now I hear music, and I think of compost! LOL!

* Posted by: Demeter z6 NJ (My Page) on Fri, Feb 7, 03 at 12:16

When you hum the following song to yourself:

If I should die before I wake,
All my bone and sinew take
Put me in the compost pile
To decompose me for a while
Worms, water, sun, will have their way,
Returning me to common clay
All that I am will feed the trees
And little fishies in the seas.
When radishes and corn you munch,
You may be having me for lunch
And then excrete me with a grin,
Chortling, "There goes Lee again."
Twill be my happiest destiny
To die and live eternally.

"In Dead Earnest (Lee's Compost Song)," words by Lee Hays (1979), music by Pete Seeger (1979), copyright Sanga Music Inc.

* Posted by: ajourni z6a PA (My Page) on Sat, Feb 8, 03 at 9:44

...when someone at work throws coffee grounds away, and you panic and try to fish them back out...

...when your mother's friend works at a coffee shop, and you plan to ambush her at your sister's baby shower and discuss used coffee grounds...

...you wonder why people pay for coffee, and throw away the best part...

...you can't sleep at night worrying about all the wasted 'liquid nitrogen' that is flushed every day...

...you make major lifestyle changes based on threads in the SCM forum with titles like, "For women only," and "Sawdust and urine"...

...you view being called "whacko" as the highest possible honor.

* Posted by: Nelz z5b/6 NW PA (My Page) on Sat, Feb 8, 03 at 14:53

Bill_G - for a moment there I wasn't sure what you were going to do, but I see discretion won out!

...you take a small bucket with a lid to your Master Gardener class to collect appropriate compostables from peoples lunches, because they just didn't get the compost lecture.

Actually it was a pretty weak lecture. Browns, greens, water, mix, wait. Simple but boring info. Nothing like here!!

* Posted by: flora_uk SW UK 8/9 (My Page) on Sat, Feb 8, 03 at 16:49

...when you have your colleagues so well-trained that you go your pigeon hole at work after lunch and find that it is full their fruit peels .... today's staff bulletin is slightly damp and has some curious stains - but who cares?

* Posted by: rxkeith z5 MI (My Page) on Sat, Feb 8, 03 at 19:56

...you find a source for rabbit manure, and you wonder how to go about spreading it on your garden thats covered by several feet of snow (with more falling), and temps in the single digits.

* Posted by: atomicdad SoCal z10 ss24 (My Page) on Sat, Feb 8, 03 at 20:41

I think i'm getting there cause i'm new to composting. But I went to the beach with a trashcan this afternoon to collect fresh kelp and eelgrass to mix into my heap. A couple walking the shore stopped to ask what I was doing.

"I'm picking up seaweed, what does it look like i'm doing?"

* Posted by: mollys3 z7 SC (My Page) on Sat, Feb 8, 03 at 22:19

I love this thread!

...When you plant stinging nettles in a newly made raised bed just because of the great stuff they add to the compost. (OUCH! But of course it's worth it!)

...When you choose yellow clover as a summer cover crop because it gets 5 ft. tall. The garden is in a very noticeable spot but who cares if it looks messy? I just can't wait to cut it down and compost it!

...When you eat more fruits and veggies, and drink more water just because you think maybe your pp will be a little more nutritious and abundant. Being healthier is just a nice side benefit!

* Posted by: Peter_6 (My Page) on Sun, Feb 9, 03 at 16:49

...When you make your own bonemeal by throwing bones on the fire. Well, it's a really a bonemeal-woodash cocktail. You do it after you've made stock with the bones, of course. Which brings us to the ultra-whacky part -- asking for a doggy bag with the skeleton and skin after they de-bone Dover sole at your table in a posh restaurant. Regards, Peter B.

* Posted by: PegR 6 (My Page)