Hi Rick, Odin and Thor said they are delighted that you liked the card and the seeds. If you want to see what their catly selves look like, you can go to the following thread and scroll about a third of the way down: http://forums.gardenweb.com/forums/load/roundrobin/msg0118263017380.html?6 I too, received a lovely postcard from comfrey comfort... I am not sure if that is him or someone else in the picture. How nice for whoever it is that he never has to worry about leaving his trowel(s) out in the grass to be found by the lawnmower....

1. Be someone trustworthy. In ALL areas. In love, in finances, etc. 2. Cover each others back. In other words, that you both know without a shadow of a doubt, that your spouse believes in you and will stand up for you. 3. Do the small things for each other that tell each other they matter. Greet them with a big smile when they come home. Sew on a button. Bother to make dinner special. Tell each other how much you appreciate them, and that you value them (tell them what it is you value about them)! Let them know that you also appreciate what they do for the family. 4. Be willing to bite your tongue and let things slide......................................once in awhile. Extend grace where you can. 5. Be able to forgive and move on. 6. Try your best not to badmouth each others family. It only makes everyone defensive. We all have flaws. 7. Do not join into "husband bashing" with your friends or family...I see women do this all the time. It is extremely disloyal (would you like your DH sitting around with all the men you know telling them awful things about you? Then don't do it to to him!!! Besides, for those of you who indulge in this past time, keep in mind that it tells other women that things aren't so perfect between you two, and lets another woman know she may be able to squeeze in. Because she won't believe all the bad things you tell her, regardless of what she says. Why, because women think that "she can change him". 8.Be each others biggest fan. Encourage one another. Ask about each others day, and actually listen and care. 9. Do not flirt, or hang around flirts. When one is exhausted, the other rallies. When one is discouraged, the other can encourage. Smile... and be the kind of person that "you" would like to come home to. Simply...love each other. It softens the hard edges in life. LEARN TO PERSEVERE...like an athlete!!!! There will be times in marriage where you feel like running. When you wonder what in the world you were thinking when you chose this person. When you look at them some days, and are not even sure you like the person...let alone love them. Hang in there. Just hang in there, and remember that another day will come when you will feel like the luckiest person in the world to have this same person. Life can be funny that way. Everyone pitch in and keep the house decent. No one wants to come home to a pigsty, and no one feels happy, let alone romantic in one. It weighs heavy on everyone in the house. Believe in something bigger than you both. There are probably more but it is late, so I will call it a day. By the way, they are not necessarily in the order of importance. Just what popped into my thoughts as I was typing.

Chinacat..."it's not the smoke, it's the slacker who's abusing it. the prayer goes 'blessed art thou who has sanctified us by thy commandments, and given us the herb of the fields' by the way... and 'treat your body as a temple' applies just as much to things like white sugar and Pringles as it does to anything else..." You said it. I do know productive members of society who smoke, and I know others who abuse their bodies with food, abuse their minds with television. It's not the guns killing people, it's the people killing people. That said, perhaps that is his one vice? If he works as hard as she says he does, he must need some time to relax. Also, is he a homeowner? I thought it was the OP's house. If it is, then expecting him to contribute and feel equal may be difficult. Have you tried interesting him in exercise? That gives a great natural high. Does he have hobbies you could share? If you're really not interested in being with him because he smokes, yet you knew he smoked, did not ever own a home, etc... prior to getting married, you set yourself up for failure. Don't blame him for your inability to change him. You married a bachelor who has the social and homemaking skills of a college student (no offense to college students!) He doesn't want to grow up. You already have. Invite him to grow up with you, or get out. You deserve more, and your kids deserve more. By the way, don't ever assume kids don't know what's going on. They will find out sooner or later, and you will have to reconcile the "don't do as I do (or DH does) but do as I say" and we know that never works. I'm sorry, but you said to be frank. I mean no judgement. Best of luck to you.

Probably easier to forgive then to forget the scars. My Dad literally walked away when I was 12, and if he had is way, we never would have found him. I persisted because I loved my Dad. Hi wife, now my step-mom, although deep down, has a good heart, I think (I know, for sure) has some emotional baggage that she will never leave behind. They both are now in nursing home care and neither can take care of themselves. That whole scenario has been impossible, but thanks to another relative, they are safe and are receiving proper care. That said, when things got very tough, when trying to seek care for them, it became a matter of my deciding that I still needed to care, as I always thought I did. That really tested me though. Through the years,although I know he began to feel something for my sister and me, I know my SM would prefer is we weren't in the way. I can't tell you how difficult that is - when I want my Dad, I remember the turmoil I'll have to go through to get to him. And now, even if I could, he wouldn't understand because his altzheimer's is so bad. He still knows who I am, and is still VERY smart, but that's about all there is. That is so hard to get over, no matter how hard I try. That's somehting I think you never get over. After a while, it gets pushed back into you mind, but on some days, it's right out there with "what am I wearing today". I pray you have better times trying to cope with this, and also the loss. HUGS coming your way!! gneegirl