Thanks for the update...so sorry you can't get any of those services.
I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Have you thought about looking into Freecycle in your area?
You could look for free things and also ask for any kids toys.....let them know your story.
Might help....can't hurt.
Congratulations on your sobriety.

I thought all salvation army place help. That's what there out there ringing those bells for. Our school even did a toys for tots. Go to your towns trustee, they help in situations like this. Ours helps with heating bills, food and they have a policy no child will be left behind at Christmas. They will even give you a list of other places they can also help. We live in a very small town but you can sure get help when needed.
I pray you can find something, you have to hunt it won't come to you.

We live in a small town. I know the churches in our area are very receptive to helping those in need out, even if you are not a church-goer. Many of them also have Christmas meals. Please contact one of them. I can understand not being a churchgoer, whatever your religious preference, but in a time of need a church family can be a comfort.

Your children really only want your time and love. There are many home made things that you can make for them. Or at least just spend time baking with them, making snow forts, or gingerbread houses.

My heart is with you and yours.

Many of us have been through exactly what you are going through either with our own families or as kids growing up. Christmas isn't about gifts and giving it's about love and sharing.

You can actually give your kids a Christmas they will never forget ..you can show them the true meaning of Christmas....you need to stop making excuses and get it done.

Put a notice on Freecycle and you will have more toys than you need......

Around here there are lots of folks who travel over the holidays and they hire someone to feed and walk their dogs, bring in mail, water their plants. That might be a way to bring in a little extra cash without a long term job commitment. Also, baby sitting sounds like a possibility for you. I'm shocked at how much sitters make these days. People this time of year, often need just a couple of hours to run those santa errands.

Yes, I'd check with the churches--you may get some decent help there.

AND--my husband works for our local utility company, with people in your situation. Sit down and talk with them. There are ALL SORTS of programs to help people who have hit a rough patch. Some are one-time, some are ongoing. But the thing is, you don't want to wait until your bill is way overdue. If the company knows you're trying, and if you can get to some of the agencies that do help, you should get some assistance on that front and they may not hassle you as much about the bill. Another reason you want to get on this as soon as possible is this--it used to be that the utility companies didn't turn anyone off in the winter. Now? At least around here, they ARE shutting off power to some of those who haven't paid. The rules are different in winter in summer (it's a little harder to get shut off), but there is a procedure in place, now, for shutting off those who aren't paying even during the winter moratorium. So don't let that utility bill go any more than you have to.

Have you considered a home-made Christmas? Get some old Christmas story books about Christmases past out of the library and read them with your kids. Then make it a fun family project to give only handmade gifts--cookies, hand-drawn pictures--whatever talents your family has. If you sew, perhaps you could make some new clothes or stuffed toys for the kids. Again, check at the library for instructions for old-fashioned toys. You can make a really fun toy out of a button and string, for example. You could give them a Cat's Cradle and learn to play it with them. Christmas DOES NOT need to come in a store-bought box. It can be more fun if you create it yourself. Just make it a family adventure--and look at it that way yourself. You all could have a really good time doing it--and you'd be teaching the kids the real meaning of Christmas.

Hi Stacie,

I've just read your first post. Can I say that growing up I never knew about having hard times (we did actually) because I was happy. One Christmas which I now know was hard for my parents was actually one that I remember as top notch. My Mom took our dolls and made a new dress for them (she was good at sewing and knitting), we got new mitts, scarves. We helped bake cookies, even though we had Christmas decor - all of the kids sat down at the kitchen table and we made paper chains, coloured Christmas themed pictures and put them up on walls, dressers, all over the house. We pretended we were Santa's elves. We made snow angels. We made sugar cookies. It's not about the price of the holiday - buying stuff - it was all about family time together. For a young child making xmas crafts is lots of fun and it's something you can do a bit of every day. The radio was always on. If you have any xmas music pull it all out. Don't dwell on what you don't have, dwell on what you can do together. If you need help thinking of things you'd be surprised how much fun it is to use old kleenex boxes, cereal boxes to make Santa's village. Kids have fantastic imaginations. Check online to see what kind of games you can play during the day. It's all about family and love. Please stop beating yourself up.

Another thought I had is maybe the KT gang can send xmas cards to your family - there's still time. We could write a bit about where we are from.

What do you think? I would not want to see any personal details on the forum, but if we emailed you would you give us the children's first name? I'm thinking of sending them their own cards?

Just a thought. Children love getting something with their name on it. It's not too late if we act now. The cards could be put on the tree and opened on xmas day?

Just my 2 cents. I'd love to send a card.

May God Bless all of you, keep you close. You can get through this - keep talking to us, we are here for you and we all care very much. We are a very powerful group of friends - I'm really happy to meet you now that my life is starting to get back on track and I'm back online.

Hugs from Canada,
Peggy

Wow - I am sorry. Did the Salvation Army tell you
that they don't do anything for families at Christmas?
If they don't help families -- what are they doing?

As you have a computer, check with the Salvation Army
that way - to maybe see where the nearest helping
SA is?

Stacie...sorry for your hard times.
Could you maybe dig deep in the toy box and pull out toys already there that the kids may have forgotten about and wrap a few for Christmas? We grew up in a large family and only expected used items when we did get a gift. They are young enough and you may be surprised at what you may find that they haven't played with in a long time.
Just an idea...good luck, I'm sure you will find a way to get thru this hardship.

Do you have Kijiji in your area? You could put out a request there as well for some used toys.

I have never heard of a Salvation Army not helping out. We have both the SA and Project Share very active in gathering things up and handing them out to families. We also have a church that invites everyone that is lonely to come for a Christmas dinner. Not only do they get a dinner but last year they got enough donations that everyone got four presents each.

Stacie there here is another thought. You obviously have a computer. Search for some online Christmas computer games for the kids. Many of them are free. Show them these on Christmas morning. Print out some of the colouring pages for the kids. Print out some of the games like the maze games that they can do. Do you have a dollar type store in your area? Toys don't have to be really expensive ones. Does your family have relatives that will bring some presents for the kids?

Another thought I had when someone mentioned the library--check out Family fun magazine. There are a ton of easy crafts you can do with and for your kids' ages. I am not a crafty person and even I could do them! We had so much with that magazine when my kids were little.

Stacie, I'm sorry your in this position. We live in the middle of rv country and it went bust so there are hundreds of people here just like you. I think one time or another we have all been there. Don't loose the faith,something will come through for you. Like some of the rest said, go to the churches. I don't know your whole story but is there grandparents or aunts and uncles that would be willing to help.

Gifts for the kids don't need to be big or expensive. If you do a search, you can find several sites for toys made at home. You probably already have the stuff you need. You can make playdough and color it with Kool-aid or food coloring. I saw a recipe for lip gloss from Kool-aid and Crisco. IIRC, you are a crafter. You probably have fabric on hand to make a new sew scarf or hat. You could make some simple shaped ornaments for the kids from either fabric or dough and personalize them. Sock puppets from old socks would be fun. There are tons of ideas out there. The kids don't really care what they get. They just enjoy the excitement.

Here is a link that might be useful: Toys and games to make

The salvation army saved Christmas for me the year I got divorced. Food, clothes and heating assistance.

Here is a link that might be useful: salvation army

Toys for tots

Here is a link that might be useful: toys

I guess each area is different, it depends on what resources they have available. Our local SA has a family tree, donors pick an angel and then buy gifts for the family as outlined in the angel envelope.

Do make a trip to Goodwill, used toys and clothing is new to your kids, Staci. Have you contacted Toys for Tots to be added to their list, or the list of area churches?

Back years ago when we were going through hard times we went can collecting, it was actually a fun activity, we were helping to clean up and we sold the cans for cash. Every dime meant a lot!
If your husband is a teacher has he considered tutoring? one of our good friends recently decided to retire from teaching and I suggested to him do some tutoring to help out and now he is actually making more money doing tutoring on his time schedule than he was teaching. He used craigslist and the schools to do his advertising. Parents much prefer having an actual school teacher do tutoring for their children.

The angel food ministries I mentioned on the other thread has some really amazing prices for their grocery packages, I know several people that only utilize food from there and have stopped buying from grocery stores. Big savings.

Thanks guys for help. I contacted our local Salvation Army and they said that they would only help in the event of fire, flood or other disaster. So no help there. I am planning on crafting with the kids and today got the trip up and made covered pretzels with my helpers, I am bound and determained to make it a Christmas to remember.

Stacie

BTW my post about wallpaper borders should have been that I was looking for a friend, I have stenciled my own walls, but she was looking for borders and was using my computer, I should have made sure to include that it was for a friend. Just appreciate all the ideas, don't want anyone to think I am scamming anyone, just looking for ideas.

Stacy, since you just realized the situation you are in financially and claim that SA and other groups won't or can't help, why don't you contact other families in your area and arrange a toy trade? Some of your old ones for theirs become new to your children.

You have so many ideas here I will be curoius to see what you come up with.

The Salvation helps families, I just talked to one of their reps. They do help families that is what what they do. The only reason they would not help is because you have to apply during the appropriate dates. Even then they reconsider on another date which they give to people needing help. It sounds like by a set date if they have things left they will consider more applications. That date has not come yet. I personally don't think we are getting the right info here and if you want me to leave for my belief/intuition I will. The rep told me in no uncertain terms not to send money.

vala55, I agree! Been thinking this way all afternoon. Forgive me if I am wrong, but this is what I think.

It also be that Stacie may not qualify because her husband has a job as a teacher so there is a good salary coming in. The problem is that her family might be one that falls in the cracks as the working poor. Having a house and a large family would definitely strain a budget. At least they are not homeless.

Stacie, you may as well pull out the tree from the basement and start decorating it, take this as an opportunity to create some new traditions for your family. They don't have to be expensive. I remember we used to wax cardboard boxes and use them to slide down hills in the winter time. Family time will mean more in the long run than expensive gifts.

I agree with Heather.I know they have a certain timeline for signing up and go by the family income.
Stacy-You didn't mention if you had or had not checked out some of the Churches in your area.I strongly suggest you do that.Start with Nazarene Churches if you have one.I don't know how big the town is where you live but surely there's some kind of help available.
Good luck and God bless!

I too called our SA and they said, they all help. I can't imagine them turning children down at Christmas. I know teachers are not big wage earners ( have a sister in-law that is one) He would have to make an awful lot of money for a family of five not to qualify for one time assistance. What you quoted sounds more like the red cross.
None of the places all of us suggested will give cash money but do help in other ways.
We have six churches in town and all of them offer assistance at this time of year.

Well I was one of those families of 5 that just barely made to much(and they "services" didn't care that we had child support to pay too)...but it's not always what you make it's what you have to "make it" each month.(and some months bills were higher than others..one little "extra" sent the whole budget out of whack)
I'm betting also that Stacie's husband gets paid once a month like we do in our school system..and that is the LAST day of the month.

Stacie,
I think you need to talk to his family and your family and let them know that you need a little help for the kids..not the bills, not you and he..but something for the kids.

She said,

I contacted our local Salvation Army and they said that they would only help in the event of fire, flood or other disaster.

As I posted on the wallpaper thread.Something sounds really fishy here! I can't believe the SA would not help with toys at least! I also question where the grandparents fit into this scenario.If it were my grand children,gifts would be the least of their worries.I was ready to get the address and sent the kids all a gift! LOL
Are we all being scammed? I guess we will never know for sure.

Stacie - these are your words, quoted from the wallpaper post:

"and am wanting to put up some wallpaper border in my bedroom."

It really doesn't sound as if you posted in haste and "forgot" to mention it was "for a friend".

Nope, I just don't believe you.

I thought the Red Cross provides help after a diaster, the Salvation Army can help more quickly, if necessary?

Here one has to apply for assistance from the SA, I believe the cut off date was the end of October.

My parents were often broke when I was a kid. In fact we never believed in Santa Claus because my parents didn't want us thinking you magically get presents when you have no money. My parents were honest about it - we accepted that - we survived. My grandmother chimed in how they didn't get any Christmas gifts except food - oranges.

Some of your kids are as old enough to understand the circumstances of life and some are young enough that they barely know what gifts are. Maybe you can convey to them the value of having a large family and a stay at home mom and that this is more important to you than greater income and the material things money can buy.

We were poor AND my mom worked outside the home. I owe my poor, troubled parents a debt of gratitude for instilling in me the importance of hard work and personal accountability if I wanted to have a "better" life than they did. I do and I'm eternally grateful to them for that.

why does everyone always jump to conclusions on posts like this? someone says scam and then others pile on, i just can't understand this mentality. oh well....
>: (

You should appeal to your family for some help with the toys for the kids under the tree on xmas morning, they could let you have what they intended to get for them.

catalyst-I don't think anyone is jumping to conclusions,just trying to figure out what is going on here.Have you read all the posts concerning this plus the one posted about needing an online outlet for wallpaper? If not I suggest you do so and then draw your own conclusions.I think you will find it all a little odd and see why we are all "wondering".
I truly hope that this isn't a snow job.I can relate to the situation Stacy is in,if she truly is.And as I mentioned in another post,I would gladly send presents if I could feel this is all legitimate but somehow I don't have that feeling.Sorry you don't agree with every one's reluctance here.

i guess the wallpaper issue wasn't explained to everyone's satisfaction?
i'm not a gullible person but i'm not so quick either to say someone is lying/fibbing or trying to mislead people about their situation to gain something.
what i really object to is assuming right off the bat, is that they are trying to scam people. disbelieve if you're so inclined, but to label them a scammer....?

Well, I read the wallpaper post and this is what I saw:

"I live in a small town of around 600 and am wanting to put up some wallpaper border in my bedroom. I have looked at the closest store and at Menards but both carry very limited supplies and won't order any other kinds. I was hoping someone on here might know of a reasonable place to order quality wallpaper border, preferably prepasted. It is for a bedroom so something flowery or country would be great."

Well, I'm not going to comment on that, but I did wonder about this one:

"I posted this before realizing what our situation was looking like this holiday season", and I couldn't help wondering, what does your financial situation have to do with posting something for a friend?

Sorry, but it felt fake to me on the first reading and I didn't have any history with the poster.

The Salvation Army part didn't surprise me, because I have heard plenty of stories about them, but unless the whole community has just been overcome by all of the needy, I can't imagine that there is nothing available to a needy family at Christmas.

Did she ever say where she was from?

Catalyst-This is what I wrote,"Are we all being scammed?" It was a curious question.In no way was I labeling anyone a scammer.
Exactly Tally! A lot of things set off alarms for me.
I am the proverbial optomist.I look for the good in most situations and will be the first to apologize if I am wrong,but someone needs to do some clarifying here.

Catalyst, I've never seen you post here so you probably don't know that people here HAVE been scammed before, so they are very wary. Most people who post here are well-intentioned and would gladly send these kids (if they exist) something. I know I would, but there are too many questions. Just an explanation.

in our area...Goodwills no longer sell toys. They are all thrown away...so don't donate your nice toys to them. Other thrift stores will take them...so families that buy used toys for gifts can find some if needed.

(the GW quit selling them when the recall of so many toys containing lead started)

Salvation Army still sells them.

Stacy..I know you do a lot of crafts...If you sew you can make doll clothes. I once made a wood cradle for my grandaughter for Christmas...painted it white with little pink flowers. She loved it and kept it for years.

good luck.

Everything I've read about this particular situation is, to me, just history repeating itself.

Sue

Okay, honestly believe or not that is everyones perogotive. So many of you have given me so many ideas for help. The Angel food ministries is available in our area and plan on ordering a food package next month. Yes we are one of thos families that falls through the cracks. DH is a teacher, and Yes Nebraska is 48th in pay, DH makes 40,000 a year. After bills, mortgage and that stuff we usually have around 500 a month left for food, diapers (for 2) and any other needs. We have been doing okay, until getting behind a couple months ago,

I was posting looking for ideas, support and a chance to vent. Like I said we live in a town of 600, the closest SA or Red cross is an outreach office in the police station in our county court house, I know some have called their local offices and am glad that they are able to help, but mine doesn't. The next closest is 60 miles away, and they only serve their counties which we aren't part of.

I appreciate the advice and ideas, I can understand those who may not believe, but feel bad that someone would make up a story and a situation like what I am talking about.

Stacie

You stated "DH is being a crab about things, says if I was working, even 200 bucks a month would help out, I am not about to have my kids raised by someone else, get paid a dollar an hour after daycare, and still have to do all the work on my own at home."
Get what help you can and get through the holidays. Then go look for a part time job evenings and or weekends, make that $200 a month and tell DH it's up to him to help you around the house. He's an adult and can look after himself if you don't get his laundry done or his meals aren't always prepared. Look after your kids.
One of you MUST bring in more money!!! It's just a matter of who. There is help out there, but do you really want to have to rely on that long term? You need to develop a plan for the future. Staying home with your kids is great, but not if you have to do it in the dark!

I agree with Mush. Sounds like you have too much month for your income. Now is also a good time to teach your children that Christmas isn't all about celebrating with gifts, food, etc. Sounds harsh but you have to do what you have to for the time being.

I believe you about the Salvation Army because our headline news last night spoke of them being in dire straights too. They will help those who need it this year, but they're begging too. There are a lot more families in need this year.

Can't give you any more advice than what's been given above, but I do wish you well in the future.

things were pretty bad one christmas (70's) so thought no christmas tree...just couldn't afford it...low and behold drove by one of the local stores (in those days it was gemco in so ca) and they were getting rid of trees...think i paid maybe $3, and we had a tree! lol..

course it was sooo dried out we had to take everything down the day after, but if you believe, it can happen!

The solution is very simple.. suck it up and BUDGET..
Every single month put $25.00 somewhere UNTOUCHABLE. Don't access it for a "emergency" or with the idea of paying it back later. Consider it a bill paid. (This is only $6.25 per week..and everyone spends that on junk.)
Start this payday and you will have plenty to give your children a adequate holiday.
Kids get too darn much now, and this would allow $50 per child and $100 for a feast.

Sue, I agree - this is history repeating itself. There used to be lots of drama when she was posting as Girlsingarden.

You know I hate to say this, but do you own a credit card? I mean we buy houses and cars and refrigerators on credit, surely you could put a few bucks on one to allow for a Christmas for your kids to get you through this tough time. $50 or $60 bucks isn't going to make or break you.

It sounds like from your town size, your husband is either going to have to find a different trade, you may have to move, or you may have to go to work. The time to start looking is now. There's no reason if he's at home that you can't work at least part time. Had your husband been working during the summer months he had off; possibly that line of work would be availible for him now?

I too would advise saving a little even when you are back on your feet. Only buy generics, shop at second hand stores, cut your own hair, etc... I know it's tough but $40,000 is totally doable especially if he can do an odd job in the summer too.

I may have missed it, but do you have parents, siblings or good friends that can help? I'm surprsied they are not stepping up and that the Chrsitams gift thing is even still a problem for you.

Someone mentioned about being scammed. I remember a man here who said his wife died and he would have no money for her funeral. Turned out she hadn't died at all.
When I was a kid dad drank our money away. We had very little, but we always had Christmas gifts. Maybe this is your wakeup call to do something about your own situation.
Christmas comes the same time every year.
Kathy