Great support - thank you all, it is very much appreciated. MALMASON, thank you your kind words are much appreciated. ANN, thank you for all your helpful advice. I do not know if I can get in touch with the Judge, though, I would like to, believe me. My former lawyer is sending the whole file back to me. I have received another helpful letter from him laying some recommendations out to me and finishing off with "I wish you well with your applications. I believe they are well supported and I would be making the same types of applications if my grandchild was at risk. Please contact me to let me know of the outcome". Ann you gave me some really good advice which reminds me to constantly be in touch with the authorities etc. In fact I am going to communicate with the case worker on Monday. She certainly has taken on a lot of power and I know does not believe in separating the siblings, but we do get along and is quite easy to talk to. The foster mum though has become a friend and we can discuss things amongst ourselves which we do not share with the case worker, and we are in touch with each other more than once a week. I do have contact information for all the other lawyers, who now are obliged to include us in all notifications. I already have a very large file of my own and have been diligent in saving all e-mails and printing when relevent, infact anything to do with the case, Our huge affidavit, as well as our police records, home study report and anything that we have from the ministries, and our lawyer. Our son who has been involved but in the background, we believe will be more visual on our lawyer's recommendation as he is the birth father. Even though his job as a tree faller makes it impractical for him to parent Ryan, he has made affidavit to the fact that he wants and trusts his parents to do this. Thanks again. ATHENAINWI, thank you so much. Very appreciated. KATHY, thanks again dear friend for your kind words. ROSE NUTTY, you are so right, so many people believe that. If she has not changed in the last seven months the children have been in foster care, what are the chances. Obviously the children being apprended had made no difference to her. Though she says they are her life. Thanks for your encouragement, much appreciated. ROSELVR, thank you so much for your response. Firstly I want to wish you the very best in your own legal matters too. Yes, cost is phenominal. I think we are up to $20,000, but not had the final account yet, there may be a little left from the original retainer. This would have cost us easily another $10,000 if we had retained counsel for the next JDR and trial, I am sure! Anyway, in the end I trust it will not be a complete waste of money, if only to do with the knowledge that Ryan knows we were there and stood up for him, but I am hoping for a little more than that. Roselvr, I need to organize my files like you, I am sure that will be a big help. Similarly, I have one with everything and then another one with the important material I need at the time. When you talk about a binder with plastic sheets, are they attached to the binder so that it really is in book form and they keep the pages clean, or is this something where you can grab the material easily when you need it, sorry I am not sure I understand? Your last sentence is so true, and we hope and pray too. Thank you so very much. ZEFFY, Just an explanation here. Sorry for any confusion. I refer to my son-in-law a lot because he is a lawyer in Vancouver. Though he practices corporate law, he has still been helpful to us, though he does not profess to know a lot about family law. He was thinking we had no rights as grandparents, where in actual fact that is not the case when the children are in a foster home, grandparents and extended family also, do have rights! In our case there are obstacles. Anyway Florence thanks for your response, you are very kind. I do hope it turns out like your friend's situation, that would be great. Situation seems almost the same, it is, where we as grandparents come from, our grandson is important like theirs, unfortunately we have two extra things to deal with, the issue of the half sibling who is years apart in age and the geography, two provinces apart.:SIGH All of you have been great and supportive and I will keep you updated. Roselvr, good luck to. I will be thinking of you on Monday. Florence, lovely to have you back in full force and "walking" around your garden. Hope you have a great season and your daughter comes on in leaps and bounds too! Pauline - Vancouver Island

Sheila Joyce, I'm sue he IS a darling, and that is an adorable story. Grandchildren are precious, aren't they? And he is blessed to have a loving grandmother such as you.

Thanks, Ladies gadgets - I think he is doing ok in the new school. At first he was very upset, not by just changing school systems, but then about which school he would have to attend. But, he is making new friends. I'm not sure how he is doing about homework and such. He should be getting a report card soon and I'm assuming it will be an average of his grades from both schools. I haven't called him this week as I feel his mom thinks I'm being pushy, so I'll call over the weekend. peg - That must have been very hard to leave your foster brother behind even if it was the best thing for him. :( mammie - thanks for thinking of him. I am also hoping it works out. I'm now past the self-serving phase of wishing he would behave so badly his mom would send him back. *ouch*

I get very emotional when knowing that i am spoken ill of...its just a reaction. I get angry. I'm human. But i've also learned not waste time on it. Well...not too much time anyways:) I've basically learned to disengage of the years and i'm basically turning indifferent to the situations. i dont treat anyone special. So my Dh has two kids and we've gone through some turmoil..but i've stood my ground on each occasion. Do they hate me? I dont' know? Maybe they are hating me now since they are hitting their teens. most important question: Do i care? NO. I honestly have reached the point of not caring. If you dont like me, too bad. STay away. I've shed alot of negative people out of my life. Friends, family, and my marriage has improved. It really has. I was about to divorce my DH last year. Went for counciling and realized, BM and her kids were not worth it. BM wants my DH miserable, uses her kids as pawns against him. So i've turned the tables. I confronted my Dh. Told him i understand his depression, his disappointment with his kids and told him its not his fault. Its BM.All the things she has done and said over the years. Granted thsi past year she has been quiet because she has issues she is dealing with under her household...and hte kids are spending less time with us. Whichof course makes her happy. She enjoys trying tomake my DH miserable. But he has begun shaking these emotions off and stepping bakc and saying, its not my fault. And when hsi kids try to guilt him he turns it aroudn and tells them, YOUR DECISIONS, NOT MINE, THEREFORE NOT MY FAULT. ALL YOUR FAULT. I'm so proud of him. For not taking anymore emotional abuse from BM or his kids. Its sad, yes they are stuck inthe middle, but they are also at an age of learning. ANd they must learn to respect another person. to not manipulate situations and to honestly love someone , and not call because they just 'want' materialistic things. THey are both good kids. They are. They are growing. But have been trained not to have us as family by BM due to her insecurities. They all wil have to live with it when grown up. Me. i'm concentrating on my family and trying to be happy. Nikemama, chin up. Be glad and proud of yourself as a human being and a wife that you honestly tried to help and love another person. And continue to be happy because you are a good person. And if stepson says he 'hates' (which he doens' tknow the true meaningof..) then let him hate. Continue to be happy. If your SS wants to be miserable, then its his decision to do so. Why be stress if someone else chooses this? My Sd tried to pull this one on me, and say your not my mom. I said ya your right...then i went out and enjoyed myself like Disengage did. She's also never used that card on me since. Kids, all kids, will test their boundaries. Thats what they do ...we all did that in various degrees. Enjoy your time and concentrate on being happy.