We haven't bought gifts for one another for ages. (Married 43 years.) We often go away somewhere for a break from Chicago winter -- that's our mutual gift.

My husband and I have not bought gifts for each other for years. If we need something we go out and buy it.

I enjoy buying gifts for children but I find that is becoming difficult too. Children have so much, there is nothing special to buy anymore.

For us, there's fun and a challenge in discovering small things that the other one would like. We think it means we've paid attention to the details and we're willing to put in the effort to find just the right thing. These days, we have a $50 limit each for wrapped Christmas gifts and save the big stuff for vacations, concert tickets, etc. We've been married 33 years and still get a thrill out of seeing one another open a well thought out present.

My husband had a remote starter put in his truck and said that would be his Christmas. Suited me just fine for him to take care of his own gift. That's usually how he does it.

We haven't bought each other anything for the last several years, but this year I decided we would buy each other several little things and I think that is going to work out great. I didn't have to buy my own, but did have to make a list for him to shop from. One year he bought me a pair of houseshoes in a size 12. I wear a 6, so see why the list was needed.

Well, we are in the same boat. Don't need or want much after 43 years of marriage, but want to set an example for the kids (in their 20s and early 30s), who would feel so sorry for us if we skipped presents. Christmas is at our house. I also want the kids (in-laws included) to expect to be thoughtful of their spouses after marriage too. So I still need to find him something for under the tree. Hard to do for a man with no hobbies.

We aren't supposed to buy for eachother..but my husband has been sneaking something in every year for a while..I usually just get him a little something..because I SPOIL him every day of the year!!!
This year is a little bling for his ear...a little Pittsburg Steelers jewelry...He may not wear them..but he'll love the idea of them..LOL

We haven't bought gifts for each other for many years,but fill a stocking with little inexpensive things that we know each other can use.
After 45 years of marriage there's not a lot we really need,and since we've retired there"s not a lot of money rolling around.
Since he has been so sick this past year,just having him home with me and well is the greatest gift I could receive anyhow.

At our age the last thing we need is more stuff and we mostly buy whatever we want during the year so we often decide together what we would like to designate as a Christmas present and get it....One year we got a new tv etc that sort of thing...This year he wanted to buy a drill bit sharpener and a converter thingy and I wanted a Food Saver so that's what we bought to give each other.

We are both very practical and usually buy something for the house or we take each other to pick what it is we would like. We've been married 23 yrs. so by now, there isn't anything we have not bought each other. Birthdays tend to be the same, though, at times, we do get a little surprise for each other.

Neither one of us needs a single thing. I think he got me something, but I told him I was getting him nothing. He said fine--he spends money on what he wants and that's enough for him. I've given him too many gifts he didn't want or use, and I'm tired of that.

I'm really supprised to find that I'm not the only one that gets a "together" gift. This year we are getting a bread machine.

We don't need anything either. We will hit the sales after Christmas if we see something we need. I'm just grateful to have DH with me for another Christmas. Couldn't ask for a better day than that!

We've been married 8 years and started this tradition our first year: We figure we'd each spend about $75, so we take $150.

We buy some grocery gift cards and keep some cash out. Then we go into a certain neighborhood in our city, where we're pretty sure that any of the residents will need the gift more than we do. I literally say a prayer that we're finding the right person, and we sort of drive around. When we see "the right person" (always a mom with kids), we give her the card. In it, we say something like, "You don't know us, but that doesn't matter. We're not rich but we have enough to share this holiday season. God Bless you." We sign it "Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus," and we drive away.

We usually go a few blocks away, hug and say "Merry Chistmas" to each other. Usually we both have tears in our eyes.

We do have faith that we're finding someone who can use a little lift. And we feel better than if we'd fought the crowds in a mall.

Just so you know, though--I always tell him that he MUST get me a gift for Christmas! :)

Hugs,
SadieSadie

Sadie, that is just beautiful. You must be a wonderful couple. We need more like you.

Three little gifts. A DVD of cartoons (Bugs Bunny), a selection of sea salts, and tongs to pick up toast out of the toaster. I also have a $45 gift cert I might give him if he's nice. I know he got me two gifts. He already wrapped them and put them under the tree.

Sadie, that's so wonderful. I'll suggest that next year to DH. I think he'll do it.

Jannie, you gave me an idea. My DH would love a DVD of the Three Stooges, but I'd have to leave the house while he watched it! Bugs Bunny would be much better! LOL!

Usually some odd tool he has shown me and decided he would like. This year I went out to our local airforce museum and purchased an RCAF flag and a ball cap with his favorite airplane on the front. I might go next year and get him a T-shirt and some reading material. Books on any of his favorite subjects are also a good plan. Those I've picked up at thrift stores or garage sales and squirreled them away. It is never the cost with us....we sure don't need anything and if we buy nothing that's OK too. I can't wait to see his face.

My DH always has our daughter do his shopping...And most of the time, she'll say to me, this is what Dad thinks you want, is it OK...One year it was a cell phone and just today, she said, Dad thinks you need a computer chair...I usually get him little things, but there have been times! Years ago I made all the reservations for a trip to Florida and the same year he gave me travel checks, without knowing about the trip..Last year was another trip to Florida but when I said, Dad had another gift, he said, I've already gotten so many save it for my birthday...Come Feb., he flew the day after his birthday....We've been married 54 years and after awhile, you know what each other is thinking.....

DH and I are not exchanging gifts. Money is a bit too tight. And as long as I have him, I don't need anything else!

I am suprised I am one of the only one "buying". I bought him a Canon camera. A very simple one I hope. He says my Olympus is too complicated.

We had to buy a new TV this year so for Xmas we are just buying each other a few little things. DH needs new gloves and I bought him a movie he wanted. We usually just pick up things that we've noticed each other looking at or that we really need.

Last year I got a GPS for Christmas and gave DH some sports clothing for our June cruise. This year I got him an outdoor storage box for the boat dock, robe and slippers. Today he bought me some sweaters and knit pants...I've been looking for knit ones that aren't as tight on my knee. We seldom give each other surprise gifts anymore.

I swear, every time I see the title of this thread I think it says "What do you buy x-spouse for Xmas?"

Usually starting in late October to early November hubs will start mentioning things he wants for Christmas, but unless I write it down at the time he says it, I'll no doubt forget. So this year he wouldn't tell me what he wanted until the beginning of this week. And he only told me one thing, so that's what he's getting -- a set of Shure earphones.

We are practical too so we give each other a list for the last 20 out of 31 years married. Not that we have to get everything on the list, the gift giver gets to select from the list. I got my DH 2 cotton shirts, slippers and 3 books he wanted. The hardest to buy for is our adult son who doesn't give us a list and when asked says he wants nothing.
Clare

I always ask for a list. He gets what he has on the list...then I surprise him with one big something, that is from my boys. He is famous for going out the week before Christmas and buying something that he wants for himself. This year, I got him an XBox 360. I am praying he doesn't buy it in the next few days. Oh wait...yesterday, he decided he was going to start skiing again (after a verrrrrrry long time), so he bought himself some skis. Now I know why he wanted that heavy parka that we bought earlier in the day. I also buy things for myself...wrap them and put them under the tree. I write his name on them. One year he bought something for me from Amazon and had it gift wrapped. When it came, it was wrapped in wedding paper. LOL

We do something similar to Sadie...A few days before Christmas, he and I will go to a store and walk around the toy aisle. We watch for what we hope is a single Mom, trying to get at least a few things on the kid's list. We will walk up to her...hand her $300 and tell her to "buy the kids something with $200...spend the other $100 on yourself! Merry Christmas!" Then we turn on our heels and walk away. Doing that gives me a huge lump in my throat every time.

What nice gestures. Many of you "giving back" or "paying it forward".

And for those of you that said "I'm just grateful to have DH with me for another Christmas. Couldn't ask for a better day than that!" and "And as long as I have him, I don't need anything else!", how wonderful!

Suzieque

Stocking stuffers. This year we are buying little things for each other. Money is tight and we'd rather put the $$ towards our 3 kids. We've never been big gift-givers on holidays because we have fun throughout the year. We are best friends, married for 22 years, and love to do things throughout the year.

We always buy for each other. This year is tighter here too...we'd rather see the kids get more, so we cut back on ours. He did get me a new camera that I picked out, and I got him a new watch that he picked out. I bought each one of us a slanket and a Bissel steam mop. We both wanted the steam mop so I made it a gift from Santa! I also got him a mini refrigerator for work so he can take a variety lunches to work. He likes to stay at his desk for lunch and this one will keep things cold or hot. He is getting me a new bike after Christmas. I want to go pick that out too...I want a comfortable one! I'm happy with anything or nothing at all as long as my kids and grandkids have a nice Christmas.

No spouse - mine walked, over 35 years ago. Rarely talked, after. Died over 4 years ago.

When there was talk of closing the psych. hosp. where she'd been head of food service for 20 years or so, she took early retirement and during the next ten years had a ball ... including a hobby of doing miniatures. Following her death (of colon cancer, within a year of what would have been her normal retirement age), our young ones disposed of many of her projects and goods ... but one, a miniature house about 3" x 3" remained (it seems that those guys like to build their own) ...

... and has been sitting on a table in my living room for about three years.

When son and I went to Toronto this summer as daughter loaded her van to move to AZ, he returned to the car as we were about to depart, carrying a beautiful burgundy velvet bag with drawstring, holding a box, saying, "Mom's ashes". He left them in the car, where they stayed for a short while ... and now they sit in one of the rooms of her miniature house, a dozen feet from where I sit.

An Iowa girl, she'd developed a liking for a little park in Detroit ... and I heard that she'd asked that (at least part of) her ashes be spread on the Detroit River.

I'd hinted that when they made the pilgrimage, I'd like to go along ... but it has not happened: I know not the reason, if reason there may be.
________________________

No problem now about buying for a spouse.

I've told my friends several years ago that rather than a number of gifts and cards - and in these rather prosperous days, it is difficult to buy something useful and wanted - I've been making a number of gifts to various charities.

I feel that the different agencies, e.g abused women's shelter (where daughter worked several years ago helping raise funds for a home), United Way, London Food Bank, Salvation Army, Mission Services (hostel for homeless), Habitat for Humanity and Canadian Food Grains Bank and such are better able than I to choose where the need is greatest. In the case of several, the Canadian International Development Agency gives matching dollars ... and for some, other agencies do, as well ... so each original dollar grows to four going to work.

I also give to several health and specific illness groups, plus my alma mater and seminary (on the Prairies). Plus half a dozen churches ... and our denomination's outreach and service agency.

One of the nice things about current circumstances is that many people have email and one can catch up on the news with quite a substantial number easily, even altering parts of the message going to different individuals or groups.

Have you ever had someone give you a swat as a result of your charitable gift?

Last year when son and I were returning from a trip, I asked whether he had some extra time and went to the village where our family lived while I served as clergy in their church for a while, 40 years ago (near the end of our marriage). After I'd given a cheque to the treasurer, when son heard the reason for our visit, he gave me a minor cuff across the side of the head, saying, "They fired you - and you give them money?!".

When I boarded in the village for a couple of years, not quite 25 years ago, I was still so bitter that I only attended that church a couple of times.

I'd heard (on fairly good authority) not many years after our departure (and after our separation) that they feared that Sue and I would part ... and they didn't want us to part while we were in their church.

Prior to my accepting their offer to serve there, a major clergyperson in the area suggested that I reconsider ... that that congregation had developed something of a reputation for being hard on ministers ... and I more or less replied that I'd been in tough spots before ... and would take my chances.

I gambled: Ilost.

Too soon old - too late smart, I guess.

But ... usually a reconciliation requires some giving ... or at least some expression of appreciation of the situation ... on both sides.

And institutions are not good at expressing regret.

It has taken our denomination - and our Federal Gov't. - about 40 years to apologize to various native groups for the abuses perpetrated upon them when trying to assimilate them in residential schools.

It's a bit hard for one hand to clap: let me know if you find out how to bring it off, O.K.?

Good wishes to all of you who value it, for Christmas ... and to everyone, for a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year, bringing the fulfillment of several of your good dreams ... and the birthing of some new ones.

ole joyful

DH and I use Thanksgiving to make our charity choices so that they will have the funds in hand within the current year.

We used to give more to places where DH's employer would double the gift funds or triple them with products. Now he is retired, and his company no longer provides generous matching funds. On a fixed income, we have a bit less TO give, but can give to places the company wouldn't consider. (They were big on schools and hospitals.)

This year we split our major gifts between a Food Depository, a Hospice that serves the less prosperous, an inner city community house, and H.O.M.E. -- a service aiding impoverished Seniors with housing, transportation, food, clothing, furniture, and repair help.

We've also made it known to family that we would most appreciate gifts to the above organizations instead of 'things'.

The most fun we've had so far this Christmas was yesterday when we assembled a large toy car wash and parking garage for our soon-to-be four grandson. It was a 20-step process and only took about...four hours. (No power tools here.) We only had to take it apart once to reposition a piece I'd put in backwards. LOL

Socks - your husband sounds like a man of exquisite taste. The Stooge DVD is a gift I'd like myself (and have). Just be sure to stick with the "Curly"s or "Shemp"s and avoid the "Joe"s at all costs!

Question: What's the biggest difference between men and women?

Answer: The three stooges!!!

:)

We're going to take a little trip to Biloxi, Ms after Christmas. We have free rooms at a casino, but then we're going to go on down to Gulf Shores, Al. That's our Christmas present. If we want something we just go get it. Same w/ our kids. It was more fun when they were needy!!