Welcome in Mary! I'm fairly new here too and it's a great place to be. I agree with what everyone else is saying... you're definitely going through a tough patch (to say the least) right now but you're stronger than you think!
They do amazing things with heart patients nowadays.
Take "extra" care of yourself so you can be ready for your guy when he comes home. And be sure to keep us posted on his progress...let him know we're all cheering him on!

Hi Mary,
I'm sorry for all you're going through. I don't know how well I'd handle all that. Glad you found this nice group though.......you'll find lots of shoulders to lean on and lots of ears to listen. Good luck with your hubby.

Yes, you do have a very full plate of concerns. Do take care of yourself; knowing that you are a survivor will help give you the strength as you travel this road. The KT prayer line is known for helping so have faith in yourself and your new friends thru this rough time. My prayers will be added to the list! Nanny

hi Phoggie, welcome to the KT. Rhis is a wonderful group, very supportive, and you can get some good advice here in addition to just a shoulder to lean on.
Sorry for all you are dealing with right now. How old is your husband?
I will add you both to my prayer list. What is his first name?
Keep us informed.

jennava~~ DH's first name is Jerry and he is 80 years old. Thanks for adding us to your prayer list.

You are welcome, Mary. If I had read all the posts, I would have seen his age. Let us know how it goes with Jerry. And I will echo what the others said, please take good care of yourself so you can be strong for him.

Mary, the prayers from this table have helped many from dark and sad places. I'm certain that you and your hubby's will be sent up many times over the next few days.

Mary, This is from the other new Mary. I am so sorry to read about your problems. It does help to just tell someone how you feel & know that they are thinking of you. All I can say is 2012 has to be a better year for the both of us. I am a cancer survivor so I know how to fight. You sound strong even though you don't think so. Keep the faith & things will get better

Welcome Mary! Sorry you're having so many problems. I hope the new year is better for you and your dh.

Mary

Chisue said it right....we've got your back!

Welcome to the KT and if you need to talk, vent, cry, laugh and just want to say "hi" we are here for you. The KTer's are the best group of friends you will ever find.

Just call me.........
SamKaren
your resident DJ

Sending a cyber hug.

Welcome to the KT, Mary. Something for you to think about. Does your DH have a living will? If so, I would think that it can be stated that YOU have all say in his care when he can not speak for himself. I know my aunt had final say when my uncle could not speak for himself. Not his adult kids by his first wife. But that is in Ohio. I don't know about Kansas. I will keep you both in my prayers.

Tami_ Ohio

Welcome of all that you had to go thru this year and such that you'll find this is one of the best decisions you've made coming here. Many a bumpy ground for a lot of folks and so a lot of experience and good advice to offer. A Note Just take each suggestion with the spirit it is given

Dear Mary, I'm so sorry that you are going through all this. It is a lot to handle. Please know that we're all here for you and that you're in our thoughts and prayers.

Welcome to both our new Mary's. I'm so glad both of you are here. Phoggie, I understand your worry and fears, believe me. I wish you didn't have to but you will handle everything the best you can, because you really don't have an alternative. Just take one hour at a time. Sure hope he gets better and can come home soon.

Also, you may want to talk with his doctor, or nurse in his area, to see if there is inexpensive housing for families close by. Many hospitals have them nowdays. At least you could be there to talk to the doctors face-to-face.

I truly wish you and your DH a Happy New Year. Please let us know how he's doing.

Welcome, Mary. So sorry to hear of your troubles--I so hope they can do the surgery on Monday. Can you put your house sale on hold for a few weeks?

Welcome Mary. I've been having some major stress in my life since September and it just got worse this week.

I pray for good results for your husband. And I hope you can find the strength to deal with your very full plate.

Take care of you, and best of luck.

Did chiuse say we've got your back? Well, she did, didn't she. That's the best way to explain this place.
Phoggy,
I can feel how scared you are. Horrible. I am so mad that this happened to you and your husband.

How well we know that there are always a number of things going on with the body after something like this. They will tell you what is going on and then go about working on each issue as they have done millions of times.

I hope that you will take advantage of every person who wants you to use them to get through this. Coming here with us (I'm an "us" after 5 months) was a miracle. I bet you didn't think you could do it.

Write us more as you know more please. If you need your doctor to help you cope, I hope you will ask for help. Whatever that means.

Thanks for coming here as we need you too.

If I misspelled your name (I can't see it now) well, just know I didn't mean to. You may have written phuggy but I bet you will forgive me.

Oh, carp!! I wasn't even close in spelling your name correctly. I guess I am just too involved in what is going on with you. Mia culpa

(By the way, you explained everything that is going on with you very well. Good job at holding on. wink.)

My thoughts and prayers are with both of the new Mary's. The KT is a great place to come when you need some company or just need to vent.

Mary, welcome. Life is really dealing you a number right now, but it will get better. Feel free to vent and tell your problems here. That's what we do.

Hi, just checked in to see if you posting. Hope you are asleep or resting your body.

welcome, mary. i hope you are feeling a little less stressed. this is a great group of girls and guys that will always be here for you. i'll keep you in my prayers. ;)

Welcome to the group Mary!

To all of my new-found friends~
I got that terrible call from the hospital last night right at midnight....Jerry's did not respond to their trials to revive him....he has passed away.

His two boys and I went to Topeka and said our good-bys and he is to be picked up and cremated (his choice, not mine)....he did not want a funeral, memorial or anything, so it is just over~

It was so lonely coming home about 4 am to this big empty house....but I am going to church...that is where I feel I need to be right now.

Thanks for all of your support and hugs.
Mary (Phoggie)

Mary , you have my deepest sympathy. I'm so sorry you have to go thru this. Please keep in touch with us. Take care of yourself. We will all be thinking of our new friend.

Oh Mary, I am so sorry to hear this. Even tho your DH didn't want a funeral or memorial, you can still have your own private one, just you, while you sit in church. You know, even tho there were funerals for some of my older family memebers, I still feel the need to talk to them in church. You have my sympathy and are in my prayes.

Tami

Oh Mary, I am so sorry. It is good that you have a church family to look to for support. The KT is here also. My thoughts will be with you in those most difficult days ahead.

Phoggie, I dont post often on this forum, but, I have been following your home selling etc in the buying and selling forum. My condolences to you and your family. Cat

Oh, my goodness, Mary, I am very sorry fr you.

What a terrible shock! I'm so very sorry and will keep you in my prayers. I don't know if this is disrespectful, but if a small, simple memorial will help you, might you consider doing so anyway?

I am so sorry, Mary! That must have seemed so sudden and final with him requesting no memorial of any kind. We are all here for you, lady.

(((Mary)))

Mary, I am so sorry for your loss.
I hope that you will stick around here at the Kt,
it is such a nice bunch of folks.

My condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. Best wishes to you, Mary.

Ah, dear, I feared that would be the outcome when you said he'd developed pneumonia.

I'm sure Jerry sent you home because he loved you and wanted to spare you from having to remember the last hours of his journey.

Death is an awful shock. Do you have any family who could come stay with you for a few days -- or could you go to them? You need more than cyber-friends, however much we are feeling your sorrow.

My deepest sympathy in your loss,
Sue

Mary, My heart goes out to you. You will be in my prayers, as we all need them these days. Your husband is in a better place now & I hope he says hi to my daughter. Hang in there it does get a little better every day. Mary

To all of you....my KT friends~~

It is only tonight that I have gotten to this computer to do much....I just "go through the motions" of getting anything done around here....I start something, then see something else, and neither of them gets done.

THANK each and every one of you who have shared your thoughts and prayers for me...keep them coming...it is going to be a long haul.

DH's family "informed" me that we will have a burial of his ashes (just the children) and then visitation at a club house on the 15th.....certainly not what I wanted....so this old woman is going to take the bull by the horns and insist that we have a retired minister, who DH liked, come and at least read a scripture and give a prayer. MY KIDS and I will lay a rose on the grave and I am going to get balloons for MY GRANDKIDS to release..if the others want to participate, fine, but if not, we'll do it anyway. I ask my SIL to try to get "Amazing Grace" from the internet and play it while we are laying our roses. To heck what the others want to do!...I feel I have a right to have "some say" in what happens to my beloved DH's ashes.

I wrote a long post in "Selling and Buying Houses" that kinda explains the rest of the stuff.

I have been blessed with my family being here for a couple of days...writing thank you notes, making me eat, etc...and keeping old mom company. I also have had many flowers, calls, visits, emails etc. from my wonderful friends "back home"....(and that is where I want to go if this house ever sells).

Mary, I do hope DH goes to where your daughter is...his faith is not what I wish...but you hang in there too...prayers for you that your life will be better soon.

Everyone...again thanks from the bottom of my heart~~

Mary (Phoggie)

Mary, know that you will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers, and that you are welcome here at all times. You do what YOU need to do for/at the memorial. I just don't understand why his kids get all the say in it. You were his wife for 10? years. That counts for a lot. Sending you lots of hugs

Tami

So sorry for your sudden loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I am so sorry.

Dear Mary, I am so sorry that you have to endure this. Don't worry about 'going through the motions' around the house, it'll all wait until you're ready. Concentrate on what you need to do for Jerry's memorial. We're here anytime you can check in, and we'll keep you in our hearts.

So sorry for your loss I dont know how I missed your post about it.
Just take things easy an only do what you have to for a while

Mary
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my condolences.

Also know that you have a family with us at the KT. We are always here for each other with the good as well as the bad times.

(((HUGS)))
SamKaren
your resident DJ

OMG Mary-I truly am so very sorry for your sudden loss....Please accept my sincerest condolences to you and your own kids-from central Ont.Canada

Mary, I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope you will be strong and be able to have the kind of memorial tribute that you want to have for Jerry. May you find comfort in memories of good times that the two of you shared. I'm glad you have your family there with you, also. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Bettye AZ

Mary, I am so sorry for you loss. I am a new widow also.
Thoughts & prayers for you
((((Mary))))))

Mary, I'm so sorry for all you're having to endure now. You'll be in my thoughts.

Mary, I'm adding my sympathy for your loss and all the other stuff you're going thru. May the thoughts and prayers of all the folks at the KT give you some measure of comfort.

I'm so sorry to hear of all of this Mary. You've got a lot of stuff on your plate right now, and it's not pretty.

A number of us have lost loved ones this year. It's been horrible. The KT was (and still is) a huge help to me when I lost Mom.

My condolences.....

I'm so very very sorry to read this postingand my sympthy goes out to you. I've been absent for sometime so wasn't aware until just now.

It isn't easy being a step Mom and probably isn't always easy for the children either, but they should try to dwell on what made their father happy. The love we have for our children will always be there, but it is not the same type of love we have for our spouse, in my opinion. One does not take away from the other.

I lost my partner very suddenly in the Dr.'s office 12 years ago. It is hard but you will cope. I have 10 step children. My thoughts and prayers are with you too. I have great feelings for the strength of prayers. Glad you have joined the Kitchen Table. It is such a wonderful source of help and compassion.