Our kids always have their Christmas with their kids at their homes...then come here about 1:00 and we have our family Christmas.

I miss getting up early and opening gifts...but I understand that the little ones like to open their santa things and play with them for awhile.

So we are patiently waiting.

patti.... who HATES THESE DARN ADS

CB, I'm with you. Although there's a lot I don't have, I don't "need" for anything. I appreciate when people pay attention to my personality and likes/dislikes. A gift to an animal shelter would be the greatest compliment.

I had so hoped that DH grand daughter would at least send a Christmas Card.... but alas, as usual, she sent nothing at all. But she did complain on FB that the $25 gift card to Applebees was a cheap and insignifcant gift that we sent them. Next year they will get exactly what they gave... NOTHING.. and any money set aside will be spent to help the needy and not the greedy. DH grandson sent a card with a photo of the family.... and that was a blessing and made my beloved husband so happy to be remembered by them this year.

A Christmas gift that will be on it's way back to me after being stolen 3 years ago will be the most wonderful material item I could receive. It is a gold filigree cross that my mother has especially made for me by a jewelry artisan in Florida some 40 years ago. I found it on Ebay and recognized it immediately as it is a one of a kind... and the find made my heart beat so hard, I thought I would fall out of my chair. It is now in Myrtle Beach, SC and on it's way back home on Monday...

Hubby and I did not exchange gifts this year...and really haven't in several years. He is my gift and I am so blessed to have him.

The best gift is the gift of my Savior and the presence of God in my life.... that is really all I need... the rest is wonderful, but but really cannot compare.

Merry Christmas everyone..

Carolyn

My kids listened to me. They asked what I wanted....I don't need or want anything. If I do, I buy it for myself. I told my son to give me the same thing he gave me last year, a donation to the Humane Society. He thought that was very unimaginative but I told him it meant a great deal to me. He listened and I'm happy. I'm so sorry no one listened to you. It wasn't much that you were asking for. Next year, buy yourself what you want first and then buy the kids whatever you can with the money that's left.

Arosegirl....I hear you!

In my family there was a $20 per child amount to be spent. Well the last time I boughht gifts I spent $60 for my brothers kids, $80 for my sisters kids and $80 for other brothers kids. Rule was if you didn't have kids (me & DH) the parents were to buy us something. Naturally I got jipped. Brothers & sister chipped in and got me 2 cookie trays. And I found out they chipped in $6 each.

That was the last time I bought gifts for my family. First year was hard but it got better until the big blow up a few years later.

Sorry...got off track. DH and I bought a new gas stove. That's what we wanted.

SamKaren
your resident DJ

I got exactly what I asked for for Christmas-nothing. Instead, I'm wishing for both my daughters to come for dinner, which will probably happen. Both promised. Second, I want my Mom, who is in the hospital, to get better, and third, I want a kidney transplant. Please, God.

We don't need *anything* beyond knowing that we are loved and respected by our DS and his family. We had Christmas Eve dinner at their home, along with DIL's parents and her two sisters (one married, one divorced) and their young children.

We received a lovely card with beautiful sentiment and a notice that a donation had been made in our names to one of the three main charities we support. (Greater Chicago Food Depository)

Our best gift was to see that our DS loves us, his DW and DS and that all are eagerly anticipating Baby #2, due in February. (Gender to be a surprise!)

Most of our relatives are deceased and friends send cards or email wishes. I had a BLAST with DH! We went to see BIG Christmas displays around town that people put on....like the house with 34,000 lights that twinkled to music on your radio station. :0) FUN! I baked bread, made home made soup and just enjoyed being together!

I am getting a CD player with remote and a digital timer for my yoga/zen room I am making out of DS's old room I know the raido is here saw a big pkg for me under the the (tee hee). Earlier this month DD#1 bought me a Disneyland annual pass so I really need nothing else.

We will be opeing giftw with our two younger kids (30-27) at 10:30 then going to older DD's house and be with the 3 Gkids I can not wait!

Merry Christmas everyone

PEACE

We don't ask for anything either, we buy things as we need .... (or want!)them. But we do need new livingroom furniture so we went and bought that thanks to my bosses' unbelievable generosity this year.

Being with my family for Christmas is what I wanted most and my sister and her DH came for Christmas Eve day. It is not the material things that are most important, you can always buy them for yourself. I'd love to have 17 members in my family but alas our family is very small.

That's become the Christmas tradition: Shop overspend wrap decorate and be disappointed, then have a pile of bills afterwards, since you're now broken the bank. Sorry, but Christmas gifts are for children. If you don't want to be disappointed, break the absurd chain of asking for and giving things.

Really. Others say it better than I could. It's the time to be with loved ones, not to focus on the material things.

I wouldn't have been upset but they ask me what I wanted.
I told each of the 2 children what I needed. Giving each one only one thing to get for me. Yes, I will go out and buy what I need next week. Just so happens my answering machine bit the dust about a month ago. I didn't replace it thinking it would make a good Christmas present. I have bathroom scales but they are as old as I am. The digital ones are so much nicer. It just seems so wasteful to have gifts that you will never use, and don't have a place the keep them.

I am so glad so many of you got just what you wanted, and a donation to an animal shelter would have been fine for me too.

Arosegirl -- I think I missed your point. You received some nice, but generic, gifts. You probably feel 'invisible'.

I'd declare a moratorium on adults exchanging Christmas gifts. Tomorrow, go out and buy yourself a scale and an answering machine -- and tell your family that next Christmas you will be buying gifts for children only.

I got what I prayed for...that I could enjoy another Christmas with my father (who is almost 89 years old). This was the second Christmas without my mother, but at least my brother (only sibling) is here. I got more gifts than I needed or expected, and know that the gifts ($$) that we sent to grandsons will be put to good use. I never ask for anything for Christmas--I just buy whatever I want; so if I get any gifts at all, I'm surprised and happy.

Merry Christmas, dear friends!

Well oddly..I got something that I almost bought myself..but thought I'd wait until after Christmas.

A REAL purse..A nice leather Tignanello that my husband bought for me. (I've never had a "designer" purse.) and he found the coolest reusable pink tweed box to present it in. So two gifts in one..

The funny thing is..I bought my Mom a Tignanello for Christmas from QVC..but they were late getting it out..so it did not arrive yet!!!! Grrr...IT BETTER ARRIVE Monday! she leaves early Tuesday morning.

That is really odd, isn't it? You would think a couple of them at least would have "heard" you.

Two suggestions:

1. Keep all the gifts, (You can find room somewhere) and give them back next year.

Or:

Do you have Yard Sales? Sell them.

Then let all your 17 relatives know that you will not be exchanging gifts next year. If there are children involved, a small gift to them would be okay.

We have decided for our family that we don't exchange gifts among the adults. We do the Dirty Santa thing, and we enjoy the search for those and it is fun to see who gets what. Set price is no more than $20.

Take charge.

Sue

I'm sorry you didn't get what you asked for. While I never ask for anything in particular, I got gifts I really needed and I'm told I talked about it thruout the year. That was very thoughtful that someone was listening.

Maybe you could return the items you got for the items you want? We do that in our family mainly and no one really seems to mind.

You need to make the decision, is it "Tit for Tat" gift exchange or is it a "Gift"?

If they had asked you what you wanted and then given you something else, maybe they simply don't budget that amount of money that your gift costs. I would just decide to not be hurt anymore and gracefully excuse myself from "the gift EXCHANGE". Give your money to whomever you really want to and purchase what you'd like. Wrap it up and put it under your tree if that's what you'd like.

I got my Christmas wish. All I wanted was for Jim to have a successful surgery,no problems, and to have him home for Christmas. There were a few rough days while they were trying to regulate his heart beat, but he was able to come home late yesterday.We have a wonderful family who loves us, and God is good! Merry Christmas!

I had exactly what I wanted. A deep feeling of love. I cried a little bit as I was making breakfast - total gratitude.

I had a hard year, emotionally. I'm so glad I'm not feeling dark any more. It feels sooo good to be connected to my husband and three kids - the rest is just noise.

I would rather be surprised. But my kids badgered me into giving them a short list. They told me they would buy a ticket to an event for me but I would have to find the seat, buy the ticket and get reimbursed. LOL

So when I complained about doing all the work for my own gift they said "see, that's why you need to come up with a list".

So I asked for another Scottevest jacket (the windbreaker) a new security featured travel day bag and a Red Hat shirt I would like for an event next fall.

DH and I don't exchange gifts very much but had I asked for something really pricey he would have pitched in with the kids.

DS is really hard to buy for this year. All the things on his Amazon wish list are pretty pricey and he even said t his list was lame cuz he couldn't come up with ideas.

Well we'll see what comes out on the 7th when we'll be having our family Xmas.

DH and I are being "Jewish" for the day. Got reservations at a Chinese restaurant for tonite.

wildchild -- To be 'authentic', you need to go to a movie today too! LOL

I got almost all that I wanted, which is my whole family with us. DD is celebrating in Los Angeles and hosting her in-laws, but our two sons came home for several days, one from NYC and one from LA.

Early in November, I sent a letter to all the members of our families stating we don't want to exchange gifts this year. If someone was planning on getting us a gift, use the money for yourself or your own children. We do give toys to the kids under 10 or 12. I used to hate finding gifts for all the in-laws. They were all impossible to buy for, didn't like my taste. I found a beautiful lacy lavender blouse for MIL one year. She opened it and immediately handed it back "I can't use this." Horrible and an ugly, embarassing scene. Her daughter was just as bad. I used to buy her a gift at a dept store near her and include the receipt and all tags so she could exchange it. .

Yes, because I'm Santa at my house and years ago I started buying my own gifts, wrapping them and putting them under the tree so I could open something with the kids. It's fun and the older I get the more often I forget what I bought myself (LOL) so sometimes it's a surprise too.

Lauren got me pj bottoms and bathrobe in Mickey theme, Alex earring set and something that he couldn't get yet because "they" were closed everytime he went. Maria and Johanna got me some lotion, hand soap and body wash, along with a necklace made with their initials painted on it.

I decided to exchange gifts at work again with another co-worker, after not doing it because I always seem to get candles I can't use...well, guess what I got again? I did get a couple paperback books too but I gave away the candles again and think I may not participate again next year. I don't know why this person bought me candles because she knows I can't use them, worked with her for quite a few years. Maybe she just wasn't thinking?

I haven't received any gifts this year - I am seen as 'bad' I guess! I no longer buy gifts for adults, except the Grandkids' Grandmother - I take the kids shopping and we pick out a piece of nice jewelry each year. I take the Grandkids shopping and let them pick out what they would like, so they don't get wrapped gifts from me. Some family members have 'written me off' since I stopped, but that's their problem. All I asked for this year was peace and quiet and that's exactly what I got.

I invited a church friend for lunch and we enjoyed each others' company, while eating baked ham, green beans, mashed potatoes/gravy and the new york cheese cake topped with cherries - that's a good holiday to me!

wow

I must send out vibes of what I would really like, although I always think I have way too much stuff. So I get things that are so surprising and just great. We had such a good time, with majority of family there, including three new great grandsons. Golly, how I love my family!

I had to think about this for a bit so I didn't really respond to the OP in my first post.

There is another way to look at this. I don't like to give or get everything asked for. An element of surprise is always nice.

Perhaps you don't like your gifts but there is the possibility that a lot more thought went into them than you give people credit for.

If the house is always heated for your DH perhaps the gifter thought you were chilled a so they got you something warm. If they have seen you in your reading glasses they saw a need that maybe you didn't. They may have noticed the rain gauge and thought to gift your DH with a better one. Since you are generous with your gifts to them they may figure you can afford and answering machine and dinner out on your own so it didn't seem personal enough to them.

But then again who really knows? But I really hate it when a monetary tally comes into the discussion.

A gift is a gift and should be given from the heart. You give a gift with no expectations in return. That's what makes it a true gift.

Buying everything someone wants isn't really a gift. It's just paying for stuff. Appropriate at times but hardly necessary.

Gift registries have gone crazy. Wish lists are fine but the whole thing right down to the item number and price is crazy.

If one doesn't like the gifts one receives than regift them or quietly exchange for what you'd like. If it's close family be honest and say you appreciate the thought and explain why you'd like to exchange it. The phone for example.

My hubby ranks with the worst gifters ever.
I got 2 long underwear tops because "someone had the one in the wrong place"
I don't wear the tops anyway.
Would have been better with 2 bottoms, but I guess some other poor schmuck of a lady got them.
I wanted wool socks. I got gloves that are striped like something an inmate would wear out in the snow.
I would look like a zebra with a cold behind if he chose my clothes.
I have a handheld GPS now and we already own one. This one came from a pawn shop so he told me I would need to order the cord to hook it up online. Seriously...
2 weeks ago I bought a nice canvas bag to haul a bale of hay in and a Photoshop CD. I am pretending they are from him - because I paid for them out of our checking account.
I asked for 2 other things - got neither.
I'll buy them for myself...and I have a book coming soon that I want too.
I dread opening gifts.
Kathy

Wildchild, who are you calling a monetary tally? LOLOLOL!

I think that those of you who are disappointed with your less than satisfactory gifts should just march right down to the nearest homeless shelter and beg them to take those horrible things off your hands.

That'd show them.

I got exactly what I wanted....a wonderful family Christmas, filled with laughter and love.
DH's son and daughter were here all day. They just left. Dinner went great, everyone enjoyed their gifts, and 1 year old DGD provided the entertainment:)

From the time my kids started having children, I asked for the same thing every year. And every year I get exactly what I asked for. I want a family photo of all my kids & grandkids together & a new bathrobe. Every year, it arrives like clockwork, the week of Christmas.

Some years a few other goodies arrive as well & those are always a wonderful surprise & greatly cherished!

For the past three years, I've not even asked & it still arrives! Since all my family lives in Iowa & I live in Florida, it is the best gift of all.

This year 2 new grandchildren have been added to the family & 1 of them has been very ill, so the picture will have to wait until he is a little better.

I am indeed blessed!

arosegirl, I do understand what you're saying. They either just didn't hear you or they chose to disregard what you said. I understand how disappointing that would be. Sorry.

What really hurts is my daughter-in-law doesn't know me.
If she had ask her husband, my son he would have told her..My momma is one "hot" mamma!! LOL I have always been hot natured. Also, I do not sit in the den to watch TV. When my son visits which is about once a week, he heads straight to my bedroom..

We have matching recliners in the den but my DH has the TV so loud it hurts my ears and it is always tuned to Fox news or football. My DH bought me the TV I wanted and I lay on my bed to watch T.V. I am sure what she purchased cost way more than the bathroom scales I ask for. It is something she would like, she bundles up in the den watching TV. I don't have a clue where she bought it and have no intentions of asking..I'll find a home for it somewhere.

My family quit giving gifts a long time a go .I give GB money .My DH and I decided to not exchange gift .We do not need any thing and DH does not get good gift I gave up on him a long time ago!!LOL 2 days before Ch my chair broke that I set at my comp.in broke so guess what I got for my self.LOL!!!!

No, but it is rare that I do. I really hate the entire gift giving/receiving thing. I didn't used to but when, like many have expressed, you give gifts you have put some effort into and you get, well nothing you can use, I guess it takes the air out of what you give too. I wish I knew for sure but all I know is I really hate all the expectations, hopes and the let down. I would just rather not. I now have $95.00 worth of gift certificates to a chain restaurant that isn't very good here in our town. We rarely eat out. I would much rather the money had gone to the Local food shelf or Birthright.

I had a wonderful Christmas.....my gift from DH was us singing Christmas Carols for an hour.......we had so much fun.
I have been told by many I have a terrible singing voice but DH lets me sing as loud and as off key as I like and smiles, too.
I got really nice gifts from my kids but the best gift of all was talking to my grandson, Jake, who is four and my granddaughter, Mio, who is two.
Mio doesn't talk much but my heart melted when she said Hi, Grandma.
Jake told me he loves me and wants to come to California and visit.
I never have any expectations so I am never disappointed.

I think a lot of happiness comes from managing our expectations of others in life. So when you figure out that the in-laws are not going to listen to you, stop the Magical Thinking and recognize them for as they are. If you can figure out behaviors, then you can adjust your expectations accordingly. So the same DIL who ignored you this year can be expected to ignore your wishes for now and forever. Sorry, but it's the truth. It doesn't mean that she may not love you and your son, it's just who she is.

Manage your own expectations of others according to their real selves, do away with the Magical Thinking, and you will have more peace in your life.

I don't mean to be harsh, but this is a lesson I learned over many years.

Carol said it perfectly.

Gift opening is done. Dinner and dessert is finished and the day was perfect. My kids all picked out wonderful gifts for me. I only had one thing that I asked for, and my older son found it for me: a PSP paddle so I can play games with someone else. Other than that, I didn't ask for anything. My other two kids found nice gifts as well: my son bought me a blouse and perfume from The Body Shoppe. My daughter bought me an M&M's t-shirt from the M&M store when she went to Vegas, some make up and my favourite candies. My husband almost gave me a heart attack. I knew he was buying me a Canon G12 point and shoot. What I didn't know was he also bought me a lens for my DSLR. A 24 - 105 L IS. I was in total shock! I can't wait to learn how to use it properly now. It's the perfect 'walk-about' lens.

At the end of the day, if all they bought me were dollar store gifts because it's all they could afford, I would be just as happy. The spirit of Christmas is giving. Not recieving. :o)

I guess, I did. I got to spend it with both my daughters, my son in law and my grand kids.

Didn't wish for anything, but got some things. Santa was nice.

Moni

This was the best Christmas I've had in years cause I had no expectations...we are in a remodel mode so only one tree was up...no other decorations...I didn't work myself into a tither...

I'm thankful for my health...my hubsters health and my kids health...

2011 has got to be better for all of us so wish for the moon and you'll land among the stars!!

I am sorry you didn't get what you wanted. I never expect anything so I am never disappointed. My gift this year was my niece being home for Christmas and not having to cook this year which was wonderful LOL

That being said I did get some wonderful gifts - sheets, gift cards for Tim Horton's and Shopper's Drug Mart. Beside Meagen being home the best gift of all was my Great Niece who is in Grade 1 and is terribly shy actually talked to me and after I went down to the family room to see what Santa gave the kids and saying how wonderful all the gifts were Jules came over to me and asked me to work on a jigsaw puzzle with her and then we played some games that she made up. Until today Jules would never even look at me when I talked to her. Before I left to go home she asked me if I could bring a craft to do with her the next time I visit. I was elated!

Anne

arosegirl..don't quite understand if you guys have cell phones why do you need an answering machine? we have a answering machine that's our house phone (landline phone) in addition to our cell phones (that have voice mail. which i've never bothered to find out how to use, lol)

at least dh didn't make me cry this year, lol (he buys one gift that takes me by surprise) but dd1 did! she bought me a poster of audry hepburn, not asked for, but she know how much i've always loved that actress...now i'm not exactly sure where i'll put her, but whenever i look at it, it will remind me of today...

susanjf, we have an answering machine for the landline. We have voicemail, but the phone companys way of retrieving those messages is so complicated and we needed a new telephone anyways, we bought a phone with an answering machine. I like that I can screen the calls if someone leaves a message.

We also have voicemail for our cells, but not too many people have the phone numbers to call them. You need to be special to get those numbers. :-)

I think if you are that resentful, you should just not spend as much on your gifts for the relatives and buy what you want for yourself.

I can't even imagine the concept of choosing to tell someone what you want and then resenting not getting it. Part of the whole concept to me is to be able to choose "what I want to buy" for each person.

I need the answering machine for the land phones. My cell phone no is given to the family to use for emergencies only. It rarely rings. They all know I don't like to talk on the telephone, most of my talk to them is by email.
I could do that all day long.

When I worked I had to always answer the phone with a smile in my voice. I promised myself when I retired I would never use the telephone again, well almost never!! I am away from the house a lot and my husband won't answer the phone (to much trouble he has to walk 6 ft.) to the phone. If he does answer it I never know who calls, he will say you got a phone call but I can't remember her name. See why I need one!! Going shopping for one in a few days.

oops.. update.... Hubby wants me to go and pick out a new digital camera.. any one I want.... and that is my Christmas gift. I got sneaky and made him some home made 'turtles' and he has hoovered about half of them already.. lol

Carolyn

I am not resentful, just a little hurt maybe! When U get an email from them, "Mamaw, what do you want for us to get you for Christmas"?

Both of them spent more on what they purchased than what I ask for. Thankfully, I have the money to buy what the children and grandchildren want and enjoy doing it and will continue to do so. I don't want them spending a lot on me, I know they can't afford it. Several years ago as their families got larger they all decided to draw names, my husband and I were not included nor did we want to be.

I am so glad that so many of you were surprised and received such wonderful gifts. And those that got just what they ask for.

Carolyn, does he have many turtles left, I'm on my way??

Sushipup, you nailed my DIL!! You are so right she will
always do what she wants to do regardless of how it affects you.