Not so Christmassy..DB gets out of prison tomorrow

16 years ago

And the D is not DEAR.

Please pray for my SIL's safety (she has moved, don't know where, don't want to know, just want her to be safe). And she (and others) are concerned for mine. Great, live looking over my shoulder, at least for a bit! I'm not worried much about myself (Maybe I should be?), but am hopeing she is well hidden! Will post to more post than I usually do for a while, just to kind of check in with all of you!

Vickey-MN

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Comments (34)

Linda
16 years ago
Sounds like the perfect opportunity to invoke your right to bear arms :) Good luck to you. What a horrible way to live, watching over your shoulder all the time. Can you say what he was in for?
nodakgal
16 years ago
I'm sorry he's getting out! Guys like him should be locked up and the key thrown away!
Stay safe dear gal!
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janie_ga
16 years ago
Thank you for planning to check in with us. Please let your neighbors know what is going on so they can look out for you. AND you work, especially any parking or building security. They may be able to assign you a parking place close to the building. I do not remember if you are married or have minor children. If you have kids, please let the school/childcare know what is going on.

Consider giving all of these people a recent picture of your DB so they will know to call the police if they see him anywhere near you or your place. At least in GA, you could get a protective order (restraining order) since you used to live together (didn't matter that you were kids!). Please consider this- not that the paper will protect you but it give you more legal options for keeping him away from you and if you have kids- the school has even more responsibility to protect you.

I am including a weblink to my old boss from the DV shelter. PLEASE do not hesitate to contact her with questions, she knows all about stalkers and you may just have one after he gets out.

The website is a ".com" but I promise, Betsy is not "in it for the money"- she honestly cares and will do anything to help you.

Keep us posted,
Janie
http://betsyramsey.com/

Here is a link that might be useful: Stop the Stalker - A Guide for Targets
gemini40
16 years ago
Vicki this is so ironic, I was trying to remember who it was that posted this sad story. Now I see this....glad to hear the soon to be exwife and kids are in an undisclosed location.... but be ever vigilant because you know the first thing your brother will do is to try to get information from you.
You still hold the trump card...he makes any threats...you contact authorities and he is in violation of his probation and off to the slammer he goes. Be safe.

june
Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana
16 years ago
I would imagine that you have a cell phone already, but if not, get one, keep it charged and on your person at all times.

I'm sorry to hear of him getting out, especially at this season. No telling though, possibly he and the others have, or will 'mellow' out some.

You and your loved ones will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care every chance you get.

Sue
jannie
16 years ago
Vicky, stay safe. I just pray DB does not blame you for any of this mess. He needs to own it himself!
socks
16 years ago
Janiega has a a lot of good advice. If you live in a smallish community, you might stop in at the police station to share your concerns, just so they know what is going on in the community. They may have further suggestions for you as well. Your poor SIL!

Just a thought: I find it so annoying to "prove" who I am when I call a company (address, mother's maiden name, etc.) but this is an example of how that can keep people like your SIL safe.
Vickey__MN
Original Author
16 years ago
Linda117,
My brother beat the crap out of my SIL. Would literally hold knives to her throat, kick her, hold her up against the wall by her throat (all in front of their kids also). She never called the police...finally a friend convinced her to come up with a plan, she did, and the last time he beat her (literally pulling clumps of hair out), the neighbor called the police. She didn't have to press charges due to laws, the police did, the evidence on her was undeniable, and he received prison time...with jail time, etc...it was about 14 months total. I think it would have been more if there'd been record of the abuse, but she was too afraid to call police before. Anyway my family is now divided. The "men"(and i use that term loosely, I have other things I call them in private) took my brothers side. My sister and I are on my SIL (soon to be ex, but we don't care) side. My dad hasn't talked to me since the incident. He didn't like my "attitude" ....NOTHING JUSTIFIED THE WAY HE TREATED HER..he said that there were two sides for every story, and if I heard my brothers, I would change my mind. I won't, never will! Anyway, I'm glad he was in jail, wish it were longer, and if I never see him or my father again in my lifetime, I don't care. A higher being will take care of them!

Vickey-MN
petaloid
16 years ago
Vickey, I am glad you will be checking in with us often, to reassure us that you are okay.

I hope some day the men in your family will come to understand how wrong these attacks were, and that includes your brother himself.
Toni S
16 years ago
Makes me wonder how forgiving your dad would be if someone beat your him up just because they had a reason (unreasonable of course). Why is this so hard to understand? I can see being angry at someone but constantly beating them is abuse and that is obvious. To bad dad can't be reasonable and still care about his son.
lynn_d
16 years ago
Vickey, please stay safe and do check in here regularly! You and your SIL are in my holiday prayers.
barb_from_pa
16 years ago
I agree with Janie - please let your close neighbors in on your problem so they can help watch out for you. And the local police, too. I am so sorry you are in this situation and pray that you and your SIL will be safe and sound.
kacram
16 years ago
((((((((Vicki)))))))) Janie has great ideas!
phyllis__mn
16 years ago
Thank you for posting, Vickey.....I have been wondering how your SIL was, and so glad that she has removed herself from the area, so to speak. Keep yourself safe.

Phyllis
janie_ga
16 years ago
Just thought of something else. Since your family sided with him, you may want to put a fraud alert on your credit. Who knows if your family have the necessary info for him to ruin your credit. It would be so hard for your to prove he caused the problem but he sure would enjoy knowing he caused you the hassle to straighten it out!
jannie
16 years ago
Vickey, you are one strong woman! May God bless you!
minnie_tx
16 years ago
Take your cell phone with you even if it is to get the mail from the mail box and stay safe!! Let your answering machine take all calls and pick up only the ones you want to answer.
Don't answer direct.
Deb_from_Pa
16 years ago
Vickey,
I am so sorry to hear about this. I feel bad for you, and your SIL, and especially the kids. I so hope that your brother got help while he was in prison and realizes the wrong he has done. I get upset because the person who does this gets maybe a year or 2 yrs..the people they did this too are in fear for the rest of their lives! I cant imagine why your father would think it ok what he has done....son or no son, or any of your brothers. I am glad you feel the way you do....be strong and stick to your guns. Please be safe! If this had gone on any longer, those children might not have a Mom and with Dad in prison, they would have been in foster care, more than likely, plus the loss of both of their parents. Why cant people consider that to be top priority. I wish your sil well, and wish I could help in some way. It is too bad they have to be in hiding, and not be able to bond with their family members while growing up.
Take care of yourself.....if you need anything, please dont hesitate to ask
Deb
Try to have a Merry Christmas
If you would like another contact, email me and I will send you my phone number to call anytime
declansmom
16 years ago
I don't have any advice for you, except to say that you sound like a loving, caring SIL.
I pray that you will be safe, and I'm sorry that this mess involves you.
(((((Vickey))))
lydia1959
16 years ago
Hoping you and your SIL will stay safe. (((Vickey)))
mariend
16 years ago
Just sending prayers for safety for you and your family. Stay alert, stay safe.
glenda_al
16 years ago
Thinking special safe holidays!

Fingers crossed that all goes well.
jel48
16 years ago
(((((((((((((((Vickie))))))))))))))))))))

Sending prayers for you and your SIL and her kids.
deemarie5500
16 years ago
So sorry you are going through this. Please try to take some of the very good advice here. Keep yourself safe.
Dee
pekemom
16 years ago
The men in my family would not side with the "men" you described. My late father, my husband, my sons would never think a beating was justified. Sorry your family doesn't see it that way. As others have posted protect yourself and stay safe.
samkaren
16 years ago
Vikki
I am a little behind on posting. I read this and couldn't believe it. I hope you and your SIL are okay. I'm going to do a special Wiccan prayer of protection for you.

On another note..I can't believe the "men" in your family would side with such a jerk! I hate to say this but it sounds like the "so called men" in your family (especially your father) are nothing but Neanderthal Barbarian's.

Keep yourself safe.

SamKaren
your resident DJ
glenda_al
16 years ago
An update! Hope it is a good one!
Vickey__MN
Original Author
16 years ago
I haven't heard from him YEA!

VIckey-MN
Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana
16 years ago
Double YEA!
jannie
16 years ago
Triple YEA!
FlamingO in AR
16 years ago
Good! Maybe he learned a little something in prison to make him think twice about messing with you all!

Stay safe, though, and vigilant, Vickey!
des_arc_ya_ya
16 years ago
Vickey, read Flamey's post - don't let your guard down-even now. ((Vickey))
gardenspice
16 years ago
Ditto on the stay safe! Perhaps he realizes that he would like to stay out of prison. Do you think he is still denying everything?
donna_oh
16 years ago
Keeping you & your SIL in my prayers!

Donna (^_^)

Not so Christmassy..DB gets out of prison tomorrow

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