Patricia, My Mother died the same exact way as yours. She had been suffering with a stiff neck for a couple of weeks. On Monday (June 4, 2007) she went to the hospital to get it checked. On Wednesday (6th) we found out she had liver cancer. It had spread to her adrenial glands, lungs and into her neck. On Sunday (10th) she was gone. She too went peacefully in her sleep. I know what you went through, she went really fast. Although this is all still new to me, I too feel your pain. Grieving is not easy for me right now. I smelt saukraut (sp?) the other day and thought it was kind of funny as I was driving down the road. I close my eyes and see her smiling face but yet I can not cry. Her services are this coming week end (17th/18th) and she is being buried on my son's (her grandson's) birthday. He is taking it so hard, but there is nothing I can do. I have talked till I was blue in the face and can not gt my brother to budge. I just hope I have the strength to go through this. With God's help we wil get through this. Here is a link that might be useful: Mother's Memorial

Hi to my Smaller Homes friends! I appreciate your support and care more than you can know. I have been working toward a weight loss diet since the first of the year. I need to lose almost 200 lbs. In the past I have done liquid protein diets, both without and with other foods. This time, I am going to use the liquid protein to replace some meals and to use between my smaller meals. I figure that doing weight loss this way is a more sustainable way, and that I will likely need to use the liquid protein for some meals the rest of my life. Falling into the fast-food/drive-through habit is too easy for me, since I am on the road for my job. If I can leave the house with a liquid protein packet making a nice cappucino-like drink in home-brewed coffee, I won't be stopping for breakfast with bacon and white-flour breading. That saves a few hundred calories right there! I am trying to leave some snacking (a few individual Dove chocolates at night, a handful of pretzels, some air-popped popcorn) in my diet so that I learn to eat the way I always revert to - but with moderation, instead. DH is the sodium-sleuth, and since he does most of the shopping, I can eat low sodium if I do not sabotage his efforts! We still get take-out, but mostly Middle Eastern, and I get salads with some meat most of the time. So that is my plan - to establish better habits overall, use liquid protein drinks to keep my nutrition up, and eat fewer calories while avoiding sodium and white carbs. I started PT this week. We started with my ankles because that is where the worst pain is. Stan, my PT Man (a genius!) first studied my walk and added to my orthotics (he made them) to correct my left foot's roll. I am doing strengthening exercises, too. Next is my elbows, then my hand. Once I am done with the PT, I plan to get into that nice warm pool at the community center of a nearby suburb a few days a week to work out in the water. I am walking almost as fast as I used to walk as I cruise through my nursing homes, but get out of breath. No major heart pains since the one I had in my first week back at work. I am working to recognize my patterns of tension, worry, and stress. I drive around doing deep, slow breathing exercises and relaxing my shoulders! My biggest, best, and most time consuming change has been working my sauna into my schedule. I have done 30 to 60 minute sessions before bed, a 40 minute session as soon as I got home for work, and even a short 15 minute session before showering to go to work. It feels SO GOOD! I wake up without stiffness if I use it at night. As a matter of fact, it is warmed up for me now, and I am going to go indulge in a full hour in the baking, far-infrared 130 degree little cabin in our smallest bedroom right now!

Welcome to this board! It is really such a great tool in keeping my sanity as a stepmom! The advice I give you is to really take things slowly and think about the worst case scenerio and decide if it is something you can live with. My hubby has sole custody of my 3 stepkids. But we can not erase her from our existance. She has moved out of state 3 times and come back only to leave again. Each time taking a piece of the kids happiness with her. She has made plans with them and stood them up without so much as a phone call. She has been gone 8 months now without as much as a phone call. We have no idea where she is living or how to get a hold of her. Her family knows which state she is in---which is no longer the same state as us, but that is about it. They can't even contact her! Each time she reappears with promises to the kids, which she does not fill. Then we are left picking up the pieces. At times the kids lash out at us because they are upset with her. But then they will talk to her on the phone and be nice as pie because they fear that she will disappear again if they don't. Its horrible to watch. So sole custody isn't a fairy tale ending. OR you could have a situation like justnotmartha or imamommy where the ex makes everything a fight. Imamommy has been in and out of court with her hubby and his ex. That can get costly. You could have a situation like doodleboo where the kids mom is a druggie and has bad boyfriends that you don't want the child around. You could have a situation like lovehadley where the mom is violent and drunk and uses the child as a weapon and excuse for everything. There is no easy part of stepparenting. Its twice the work of regular parenting and a very thankless job! Would I go back and never have married my hubby? NO WAY! I love him and the children. But I will not lie to you and tell you this was an easy road. It has been a struggle at times. And we have argued over the children and his ex. But we are always able to talk things out. Great communication is the key to success in any relationship, but more so in a stepfamily situation. I wish you a lot of luck and I encourage you to do a search on the posters I have mentioned and on my self on here to read some of our posts and what we have gone through. I also encourage you to come here often for advice or just to vent or share stories.

Already saying prayers for you, your Mom and the rest of your family as well as Doctors who be caring for her. Having been there with DH, I know so well the anxiety and stress y'all are going through, but also know the wondrous power of prayer. You are so loved here Rita, am sure many, many, MANY others are praying too! Suzi