A year from now you will look back on this time and know you did the right thing.
Nobody can take charge of your own happiness except you.
You have taken the hardest step of all by moving out.
I wish you the best, and know that we are always here for you.

Trin

Trin is right, it's only going to get easier. The fact that you feel happy now says it all.

Good thoughts coming your way Melanie!!

Upward and onward....things will only get better. Sending positive thoughts your way.

This is THE best book if you have decided to leave. The advice is concise and relevant. Much more than a 'self-help' book, but an excellent guide to your single life. Emotional, physical, financial, mental, you name it.

Here is a link that might be useful: Learning to Leave

((Melanie)) Been there, done that. I understand some of what you're going through. We're here!!!

Just make sure you keep number one in mind that is YOU!!!.
Make a list of have to pay items like rent utilities phone etc then deduct them from whtever money you have then the rest is spent on clothes and food in that order.

Keep a little notebook. you want to make sure you have the $$ when the bills come due. You can survice on Kraft dinners if you have to for a while

Cheers!! as they say been there done that

Melanie
I must repeat Des Arc, been there; done that and you will get there.
I know what you are going through and we ARE HERE for you.
Deb

wow feel really bad for you but you CAN and YOU will do it! if it wasnt for my parents well lets just say its a darned good thing we all take care of each other..i was trying to leave for years finally this time the last time id had enough, i may not have much, right now i have a travel trailer on my parents property and it works just fine for me, for now, later ill move to something larger, im back to working at logging again on and off so its enough to buy my cig what lil food i need help with the electric bill and my wireless that my parents got for me. im 41 and granted its definately not easy the lonliness can get to you but ive learned to keep busy and not think about how much easier it would be to go back...to all the fights and every other thing you can imagine..so if i feel that self pity coming on i go next door to my parents or next door to my bro and sil and my 2 neices...going back to work has helped alot. i wish you all the luck because you can do it!! sorry this was so long.

DO NOT let yourself look back or second guess your decision. You're on the right track. Life is too short.

Melanie, I will keep you in my prayers. My divorce was just final 2 weeks ago. (my husband left me almost 2 years ago for another woman) Those first months were horrible. Time does help the healing process. I know how scared you are. I was terrified. Best wishes for you!!!

I am worried to hear you say "My husband won't give me time and space like I have asked and begged for." Some guys just won't let go and turn to stalking and harrassment.

A good book to read is: The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker

De Becker encourages women to rely on their intuition and take positive steps. This may involve having to get a restraining order.

Melanie, you will find your way and make a better life for yourself. I waited too long and stayed with my husband for 33yrs.The death of our firstborn son was the catalyst for the final break. By the time I left I was 53, no job and no experience of living on my own. Now, almost 3yrs later I am doing well and as happy as I can possibly be without my son. I have learned so much about myself and my strength. Sometimes it can be very lonely but never as lonely as living in a loveless marriage can be. I think you will have the courage to thrive in your work and school and it sounds as though you are young enough to start again. Don't let anyone push you around to do anything you are not ready for and make sure you get help to you get your share of marital property etc. I hope you have family and friends to talk to and sharing here at the Kitchen Table is a good way to get advice and perspective. All the best, Beth

My mother was very wise and used to say, "Life is not a dress rehearsal and we do not get a do-over, so you'd better make it count."
I wish you the best. Be strong, be patient, be resourceful and you will prosper.

(((Nora)))

((Melanie))

Thank you all. My husband isnt a bad guy I do love him, He has supported me through school by working etc jobs etc, its just that we never EVER agree on anything,we are always arguing and fighting and the stress was getting bad,I had depression so badly medication wasnt helping, I never wanted to do anything cause I didnt care. I knew the day would come when I would have enough and I guess it did. Surprizingly I do not feel depressed at all, my bp is down and I have energy to get up and do things, My car is clean, I am focusing on school I walk with my friend everyday, I actually care. I know that its going to be a really tough road but I will fight through it. I am just not used to my little part time income, now I am going to have to budget. I need seperation papers for school so they can alter my tuition, but I dont even know where to start or how to go and get them, I dont have the money right now for a Laywer, since I have my car payment, insurance, CC bills and my cell phone, plus I got to try and help my friend out cause she left her husband 2 months ago so money is tight for both of us. All my family is in Canada, so I have noone here really to help me, Thank God for my friend. She told me the other day she was glad I was here for her cause I was helping her get through her seperation, so I guess we were meant to friends and be there for each other. Will most more as time goes on, cause I know I am going to have my breaking moments.