too much drama / very long

cheri2008

12 years ago

First a quick back ground, my grandson has been married less than 3 years, is only 21, and he and his wife have 2 babies. They had only been married a few months when wife's mother and her husband were having marital problems..So her and her 3 other kids moved in with them.This seems to be an on and off thing, she lived with them for several months, then moved back, only to move back with the young couple again.

My husband and I own a buisness, and our grandson WAS working for us, but his wife stated she felt he loved his job, more than her... and insisted he not work, so he lost this job.

After being evicted from thier apartment for not paying rent.(DUH) they ALL moved back to the home of her parents.

I think my grandson FINALLY hit bottom.. he found a job, and has been doing well.. he loves his job, and they seem to like him..This has caused a problem with wife and her family... now they accuse him of having affairs/ Mom in law went on this rampage on facebook about him being unfathful

He has since moved out of her family home, he is living with his father..he says he cannot take the fighting/the accusations.thier house is so filled with drama..just toxic.

He wanted to work/ eventually get his own place and be able to support his family. At this point her family is SO mixed up in thier lives..and his mother in law is spreading all this garbage.

But to my question.. she, the mother in law wishes for my grand sons parents, myself and my husband to meet and have an "intervention" with these kids. I have told her, and his parents feel the same way.. absolutly not! I feel there has been too much intrusion on this young couple. and frankly I believe she only wants to crusify my grandson. and I want no part of it. He has his faults, but I feel thier marriage

is something THEY have to work out. I will support my grandson, and wish the best for him whichever way this turns, but am I correct in this, or as the mother in law states we are uncaring?

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Comments (13)

nodakgal
12 years ago
My opinion is you are right!
I'd NEVER get involved in anyone else's marriage! (unless they asked me to of course)
They need to figure this out for themselves. No one can do it but them.
azzalea
12 years ago
There comes a time in life when parents (and grandparents) have to take a deep breath and step out of the lives of their children. When a person is an adult, married, has a couple of children, it's up to THEM to make their own decisions.

Look, just because some loudmouth tells you you're uncaring DOES NOT MAKE THEM RIGHT! I was once told I was a very, very bad mother and didn't know what I was doing. Well, my daughter grew up fine--she's a responsible, hardworking, caring young woman with a solid profession and her own place. The person who told me that? Her kids--2 got pregnant in high school, a couple are on drugs, NONE of them have their own places (Mom has to maintain 2 homes to keep them all housed--even though they're in their 20's and 30s now.)

To be honest? I find loudmouths like that generally are try to drag you down to THEIR level by making you feel guilty and insecure.

Stick to your guns. Let the kids work on their own problems--forcing (or intervening) to get them back together isn't likely to cement the relationship.

Were I in your shoes? I'd tell the MIL that there are all sorts of caring--and letting children become adults who can handle their own lives is one of the best kinds.
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Toni S
12 years ago
Normally I would say NO,don't interfere.
There might be instances where it might be useful, such as drugs, but even then the sh*t will hit the fan first. The important thing for the young parents to do is to be honest and willing and put their marraige first, as well as the kids. IF the MIL is causing discontent, then the wife needs to take her out of the picture. At least she needs to tell her mom to stop the talk. Like you are thinking, she's not helping.
21 with two kids tells me alot about them already.
cate52
12 years ago
I agree for you to stay out of it... If you do anything, you might suggest family counseling and offer to babysit for them when they're at appointments..
patti43
12 years ago
Your grandson should run....very, very fast and very, very far away from that family. Guess I'd better add, that's MHO!

He's very young and made a huge mistake but that doesn't mean he has to pay for it for the rest of his life.
wildchild
12 years ago
You are right. Stay out of it.

I hope your grandson rebuilds his life and seeks physical custody of his children. They don't deserve to be in that environment either.
lindyluwho
12 years ago
The MIL is the one who needs to stay out of it. I too say he should run, fast and far from that family. If his wife wants her marriage to work she will go with him.

Linda
sheilajoyce_gw
12 years ago
What a mess. Stay out of it. I see no future together for this young family. Toxic for sure.
chisue
12 years ago
I see a distant job in your GS's future. It will be in a city far away from his wife's family. His wife can choose to go with him and be his wife or continue her small part in her mamma's drama.
minnie_tx
12 years ago
mother in law should have stayed put to begin with and stayed home. Sounds like she is a coniver. Stick with your gandson and best of all stay out of it as has been good advice already.
kacram
12 years ago
you are right to stay out of it. Hard to believe his wife doesn't want him to work. what does she want? to have him sit home and collect welfare? is that what her parents do? He was so smart to move out. I don't know what he can do about the lies on facebook, can he file harassment charges? he made a good move, she needs to grow up .. The best thing he has done was move out.

Personally, i think the intervention should be with his mother in law! lol You are right, stay out of it. Encourage your grandson, telling him you support him and working is a good thing!
jannie
12 years ago
Let's see, he's 21 and he has 2 kids. He's a grown-up, not a little boy, and everyone should stay out of it. Stay off Facebook, for one thing. And no "interventions".
cheri2008
Original Author
12 years ago
Thank you for your feedback... yes I most certainly going to keep out of this mess..I obviously have my issues with his wife, and her family..I have been VERY carefull to keep my opinions to myself. Up to this point she/and her mom have called all the shots...It appears my grandson has finally grown a pair...even though we live less than a mile away, I have only been able to see those precious babies very few times... and by NO means either my daughter,(his mom) have ever been allowed to babyset. I really usually don't like to see divorces, but this may be the exception.I am very close to my grandson, HE comes by quite often, likes to stop by in the early morning to have coffee(her family normally does not rise till noon).. I will continue to encourage him to be the best man that he can, and a father that his two liitlt girls will someday look up to.. Thanks again everyone..sometimes You gotta test your judgement...I am glad all are backing my decision

too much drama / very long

Comments (13)

nodakgal

azzalea

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