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angelaid

Sharing recipes?

18 years ago

A gal was lamenting on another board about requesting a recipe for a dip she had at a wedding reception. The host refused to give her the recipe.

Turns out, the recipe was from the side of the can of Rotel tomatoes that were in the dip. LOL

I've also heard of people that omit a detail or two from a recipe because they don't want anyone else's attempt at it to be as good as theirs.

I am complimented when someone asks for a recipe.

Are there any recipes you won't share?

Comments (38)

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Nope. None I won't share. If its good I believe everyone is entitled to it if they want it.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I'm a real foodie, so I just love sharing recipes.

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    It's a manners thing. I also credit the books, blogs, etc., when someone wants a recipe. I make up a lot of my own recipes and I title them with my name so the person I give it to knows where it came from. The posited issue is something I've never experienced, but I can sympathize--someone takes something from you and blows it up big time without any acknowledgement. The reason performers make such boring speeches at awards shows is that they know they're standing on the shoulders of many, and saying the names during a broadcast gives warm and fuzzies to the people who rightly deserve the credit. That's totally different from copyright. You can't copyright food. That includes an ingredient list (I'm not a lawyer, but I think I have a good understanding of the rules (I have worked in the arts). Please check with a copyright attorney for actual legal advice rather than chat). You can only copyright your own creation. The old saw about changing three things doesn't cut it unless those make a significant change in the actual recipe, like the fish dish above with a different fish, and different ingredients, and it was nothing like the original. OTOH, if you write up a recipe for something nearly identical to another recipe, but use all your own words for the method and direction, it is not a copyright violation. You can even copyright a recipe for Fried Chicken, if you say enough that's substantially unique to you, though you probably can't for the basic directions that are basically the same as you could find in a zillion books and blogs. Like maybe there's a whole story about your Aunt Ruthie woven through the directions. Because you can only copyright your words, and then, only if they're finished and unique. (You can much more easily copyright your pictures of the chicken, though it's probably unenforceable if the violator didn't made a lot of money off of them.) You can't even copyright a title, though you might be able to trademark it. None of that is about credit. If A's instruction and/or recipe enables B to be wildly successful outside of her home, it's only polite for B to say, thank-you, I couldn't have done it without A's recipe.
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  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I absolutely wont share my Great Aunts carrot cake recipe. It was coveted for years and I inherited it. I plan to continue the mystery until I pass it down to someone else.
    I have a lot of fun with that.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Sure I'll share. Anybody can "Google" and find just about any recipe that's ever been written down.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    No, I have to say that I think it is selfish to refuse to share a recipe. I just cannot understand the motivation except that the owner of the recipe is afraid that all the oohs and aahs will be diluted because someone else will be able to make the same recipe. Selfish.

    And this is in no way meant to cause an arguement. It is just how I see it.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I always give out a recipe and I have never understood why people don't share recipes unless of course they are making money on it somehow.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I used to work with a woman whose Great aunt had passed to her, a wonderful cake recipe. I mean, this cake was GOOD.

    She wouldn't share it with anyone no matter how hard we tried to bribe her.

    I'd rather she handle it the way she did ... upfront and honestly ... rather than sabotage the recipe and hand it out.

    I've searched the web and have come close, but never have found "it."

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I'm always happy to share a recipe if someone asks - except for my best friend, LOL. She always complains that they never turn out.

    When I quiz her on it I get "Oh, fresh vegetables were too much work, so I used canned" -eh, not terribly good for a stir fry! Or "I decided to use Cream of Mushroom soup instead of making a white sauce" - well, you can't use cream soup to make a cheese souffle!

    So I laugh a bit, and I have told her to google any recipes in the future. I don't like my recipe being blamed - I never leave anything out, or try to sabotage anyone.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Like many of you, I share it fully. I even give out tips of how to accomplish the recipe more successfully or easily.

    Actually, I get a kick out when someone could follow the recipe and made it successfully. It's because I normally guess the ingredients amount. Writing it down to someone else is usually an approximate quantity.

    I too, feel honored when someone asks me for the recipe =o)

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    There is one that I will not share,at least not the true version!LOL It is a recipe for my daddy's barbecue sauce.It was passed down to my step-sister and she gave it to me and my brother a few years ago.We have talked about bottling it,just haven't done anything about it yet so that is why it is our "secret".LOL I have given a "version" of it to others but I always leave the key ingredient out.It's still good but not as good as with the key ingredient.
    I do feel honored when someone asks for a recipe and will give any of them out,except for the barbecue sauce!LOL

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    In our case it became sort of a game. Everyone looked forward to Auntie's carrot cake at Christmas. We always had a "wonder how she makes it this way." Then we'd debate over our ideas. It was always fun and she got a huge kick out of it. She shared it with my grandma, that's why I have it. No one else in my immediate family has the recipe, but I would bet one of my cousins does.

    If my brother asked me for the recipe I'm sure I'd eventually give in, but with a fight. We are just maintaining a tradition, something my family has very few of. I'm honoring my Aunts memory in a way. Everyone still looks forward to their cake and I get to give my Aunt a little wink every time someone asks, how I make it like that.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I don't mind sharing recipes. What I do mind is when I share one, and they change it somehow. For instance, my daughter always asked for my recipe for B&G Burgers (loose meat burgers) Then she adds all kinds of ketchup to them. So when she invites us over, and says we're having B&G burgers, I have learned it won't be what I'd make.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I too think it's pretty selfish to not share a recipe. If someone does that, I just go "fine", but they better not EVER ask for anything from anyone else then either, whether it be a recipe, ride to work or CPR! LOL After all, my CPR technique was handed down and is a secret! ;)

    I have an aunt who won't give out her recipes. She did give a dinner roll recipe to my mother but there too she sabotaged it. She didn't take into account that my mother was an excellent cook and improved her recipe so now everyone wants my mother's recipe!

    One of my cousins asked for a recipe for some EZ Bars that I used to make all the time. Sure, I rattled it off, since there's nothing to it. You melt a stick of butter, top with graham cracker crumbs, nuts, chips and sweetened condensed milk and bake. Actually HER mother was telling me exactly what was in them and I said right, then told her how I did it so they wrote it down. Then when she went to make them she screwed it up. How I don't know, this is foolproof but when you make it idiot-proof, they seem to develop a better idiot. Anyway, she screwed it up and blamed me saying I didn't give her the right recipe. I told her again and she got arrogant that she did it exactly that way and it was my fault it didn't turn out. It just hit me now as I'm typing that she wouldn't give me a recipe later when I asked for one. Said she didn't remember! LOL

    My Godmother in her later years would bring homemade dinner rolls to the get-togethers. She gladly shared her recipe and it was simpler than my mother's and other aunt's s version. But nobody ever really made them because nobody could put the love and care into them that she did.

    To me, and it's JMO, people that won't share a recipe don't realize that people trying to make it at home often like it better when someone else makes it. I can cook eggs better than most, virtually all restaurants. But I still enjoy going out for breakfast. I guess I don't understand it. Even when it's the money thing, well, frankly, if someone did sell it, fine, good for them, but you know what? I'd probably never buy it, on principle alone.

    I laugh at the "secret ingredients" thing. Even the "11 herbs and spices" aren't secret! They've been analyzed and aren't even 11 being used anymore. The gravy recipe is locked away and not used, even Col. S. called the old stuff "pure ambrosia, so good you can throw away the chicken and eat the gravy...", and what's used now, he called wallpaper paste! Coke knows how to make Pepsi and Pepsi knows how to make Coke. (And professional athletes know how to use coke..., but I digress). And check out the copycat recipe sites for the other stuff. Cooking isn't that secret that can't be found out.

    I think it's more of a game as suggested. Whatever gives people their thrills. I too feel very complimented when asked. Yeah, it's not that often, but when it does, it feels good. And even with the EZ Bars, nobody else made them, everyone loved them so that became my "trademark" dish that I'd be asked to bring to a get-together. Actually I let people watch me make stuff so they see my "secret" marinade, "secret" flavorings, etc. Who cares? I don't.

    I just think it's a shame that good recipes die with people because they're too selfish to share. But we can live without it. It's not like a cure for cancer! It's a recipe fer cryin' out loud! LOL There is one thing though, often it's the technique rather than the recipe. Having the "feel" for when it's just right, like when my mother made fudge. She used the recipe off the package, but there's a point of about 15 seconds between drippy sauce and a brick and if you don't catch it in between there, you're toast. And of course the "little bit of this, little bit of that, cook it until it's right..." that can't be duplicated.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I have to pop in here and explain a couple of legitimate reasons why one might not share a recipe.

    When I was a kid, my father's bookkeeper used to make us a tin of her special Christmas candy every year. It was delicious, and I begged and nagged her for years. Finally, when I was in high school, she did share the recipe with me, but asked me not to ever give it out to anyone. I promised--and I kept that promise. I never shared that recipe, ever, until after she died decades later (at which point, I figured I was released from that promise).

    I do share recipes often. But I have a lot of recipes I won't share--why? Because they're original and I participate in cooking contests. If I'm working on something that I plan to enter in a future contest, I CANNOT share it--recipes have a way of getting around very quickly, so in order to make sure I have the right to claim it as original, and my own property, I need to make sure it truly IS mine, no one else has it, and it hasn't been published (either in print on electronically).

    No one I know is offended by me not sharing my competition recipes, nor have I ever been accused of being selfish for keeping them to myself. My friends and family know that as soon as legally and ethically possible, I'll be happy to share. And they understand that that is how I make my money. They know that I'll happily share anything that I can, but until a recipe is 'dead' (in a contesting sense) it's off limits to them.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Oh, I don't think anyone would be upset that you aren't sharing a recipe that you are entering into a contest. Most would understand that reasoning. But for others who don't share recipes, I think it really boils down to a kind of insecurity problem. They don't want anyone to make it as good (or better) than them. Why leave out the secret ingredient? Really? So it won't be as good as yours? That's just kinda selfish and silly, no? Don't fool yourself - No recipe is "that" good and decent cooks can figure out most recipes even without you telling them the recipe.

    I also find that people who hide their recipes are usually at best mediocre cooks. Good cooks are usually more than willing to share recipes because they know they have way more recipes and good dishes up their sleeves. The 'secret dish' is not the only thing they can cook.

    Bottom line, be nice, give out your recipes, life's too short. When other people make it, they'll be saying oh, "This is Susie's recipe". You'll actually get more recognition than you may think.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I share in the hopes that someone else will do the cooking! I have discovered after countless hours of cooking for my family that I really do not enjoy it. I love it when someone else can!

    Trish

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I don't see what the big deal is about sharing a recipe. That's just my feelings on it. A lot of times if I take something somewhere I will make copies of the recipe if I think it's something someone else might want to make.
    I remember reading a post here one time from someone, don't remember who, that was so upset because she shared a recipe with someone and they started making it for family dinners and she was not happy about that at all. I think she said she was afraid they wouldn't think she was special anymore...or something like that. It wasn't a secret family recipe or anything like that, in fact almost everyone at kt has been making it for years.
    I think recipes for most things can be found all over the internet anyway.
    Half the fun of making something is sharing it and that goes for the recipe too.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I like to share...but sometimes I wished I wouldn't have.

    I don't mind sharing with you all because you don't go to the same functions I do.

    But I've had a recipe or two that people looked forward to me bringing..then I shared it...and they started bringing it...so it was no longer something special that I looked forward to taking.

    I think Glenda has had that happen to her..with her Pineapple casserole.

    patti

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Like most of you, I'm always flattered when someone wants one of my recipes. I don't have a problem with sharing them at all. I'm not shy about asking for a good recipe either. :)

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I don't mind sharing recipes and will even give up the tips or changes I have made over the years to my recipes. After 15 years of marriage and making hundreds of my ex-husband's favorite apple pie; after the divorce he asked for the recipe. I wrote it out in full for him. Apple pie is also our daughter's favorite and I make her one for her birthday every year. If her father visits her while there is still pie, she will share it with him. Now the man thought I hardly ever did anything right; but he told my daughter that he has never been able to make the pie taste as good as the ones I made. Guess I did one thing right!
    Kat

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I have no respect for someone that gives out a recipe and omits an ingredient on purpose; that is just being deceitful. I gladly share any recipe I have.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I must preface this post with what my mom told me. She cooked professionally for 30 yrs-in turn I did for 40 yrs. She ALWAYS said to me: "Sharon ____ (Maiden name)..NEVER give out your recipes..it's your living!" Threatened me that if I gave out her rice pudding or Bacon dressing recipes-she would haunt me from her grave for the rest of my life! LOL!
    Well I heeded her warning & never did while she was alive, nor until I officially 'hung up my apron'. However-I gave the rice pudding recipe to a friend-who ultimately took it & 'made it their own' and today-they are a big vendor at state fairs, etc -they call their booth "Down Home" rice pudding.
    My bad? I guess so in my mom's eyes-but I smugly smile when I walk by their booth-I NEVER say a word but they look at me and nod-as if to say "Thank You". It's enough for me, to know my mom's still cookin' in Pennsyltucky!!

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I'm happy to share recipes when I have them.

    What bothers me is when I give out a recipe and later the person complains it didn't turn out. Later I find out they tweaked it themselves by substituting other ingredients for those listed. Don't blame the recipe for your failed experiments.

    Many times I can't give out a recipe because I honestly don't have one. Much of my cooking is done without measuring. Some of it is done by pure experience, like using an eggshell to measure out just enough cold water for a certain type of dumpling dough.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Carla35...I couldn't have said it better. A girl in my office made this dessert the other day. She told everyone not to ask for the recipe because it was her grandmother's "secret" and famous recipe. No one ask because quite frankly, it was not that good...and, like you said any decent cook can make any recipe taste as good if not better. However, I do understand why a contest entry would not be shared. We entertain quite frequently and I enjoy creating original recipes. I am flattered when someone asks for the recipe and do not hesitate to pass it on with a Bon Appetit!!!! to each his own.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I will always share a recipe and so will most people I know. There were a couple of co-workers who had secret recipes they refused to share. One of them made the most delicious potato salad. I rarely eat it, but always ate hers when she brought it to a function at work. It had a nice mustardy flavor to it.

    Bob's kids came over for the 4th of July one year. I cooked hamburgers and hot dogs with a few side dishes. On the whim I picked up some mustard potato salad at the deli. It was the store brand, prepackaged. When I tasted it, I knew where my co-worker got hers. It was exactly the same. Now I know why she didn't want to give out her recipe. She opened a container of the stuff and put it in her own bowl and topped it with some sliced radishes to make it look pretty.
    I don't know why the other woman wouldn't share her recipes.

    Linda

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    You have complimented me when you ask for the "recipe"!

    However; if you want my recipe..you need to be by my side while cooking....other than BAKING do I follow a recipe!

    I am "known" for my potato salad...to be honest; after 25+ years of cooking... I do NOT have a recipe! I learned the "basics" in Home Ec and from watching my mother, but my "speciality" cooking is from trial and errors!

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I don't mind giving out recipes, but except for baking, my "recipes" are pretty much made without measuring. I used to collect really great cookie recipes and had a lot of people ask for the recipes, which I gladly gave out, but there was one person who always complained that they didn't turn out and I found out that she substituted ingredients, and skipped steps (like chilling the dough) and then complained like I had not given her the correct recipe.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I don't have any secret recipes. Most, if not all, of my recipes are from another source. I freestyle cook quite well but I don't develop my own 'recipes'. Once, my MIL gave me a peanut butter frosting recipe that I was reluctant to give out just because I never saw a recipe like her's in print and I wasn't sure if she considered it a secret or not. She always made it for DH's birthday. My son's allergic to peanuts so it's not very special to any of us anymore!

    In the past I think DH's grandmother was a bit hesitant to give out recipes, I think because she knew how much we loved her recipes and she wanted them to continue to be special. Now that she's not able to cook like she used to, she is more forthcoming with them. I never would have spoiled her special recipes by making them all of the time but I wanted to be sure they weren't lost. I know there have been instances where someone has asked for a special holiday recipe and started making it all of the time and I think that's kind of wrong - it ruins the specialness of a holiday recipe. It's one thing if it's being fed to a different group of people but if I started making DH's grandmother's macaroni salad every week or her cheesecake every month, I don't think we'd appreciate them as much when they showed up on the holiday table.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I love when someone asks me for a recipe, it's so flattering! I think anyone who sabatoges a recipe is a petty, little person- either share it in its entirety or don't bother sharing it at all.

    Anyone remember an episode of Everyone Loves Raymond when Marie gave Debra a recipe and all the ingredients to make something and it didn't turn out? Came to find out she had re-labeled an herb or spice just so it WOULDN'T come out right. Ooooh, that started a barney! lol

    I try to never serve a person their own recipe. It just seems like it would be a bit odd to do that.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I consider it a compliment to be asked for a receipe. I would never think of not sharing.
    Judy

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I think it's the ultimate compliment when someone ask for a recipe...I started making "Death By Chocolate" from a recipe I gained from an internet group party...I usually make it to take to family reunions and such...it's always a hit...so easy and everyone loves it...i'd never NOT think of sharing it cause someone shared it with me!!

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Ever share a recipe with a friend? Then later, the friend tells you they made the recipe, butit didn't taste like yours!

    This funny poem about recipes may tell the reasons why it didn't taste like it should.

    Funny Poem about Recipes

    I didn't have potatoes,
    so I substituted rice.
    Didn't have paprika,
    so I used another spice.
    I didn't have tomato sauce,
    so I used tomato paste.
    A whole can not a half can -
    I don't believe in waste.My friend gave me the recipe -
    she said you couldn't beat it.
    There must be something wrong with her,
    I couldn't even eat it.

    Source unknown

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    WoW! Please don't lump me into the 'Selfish, insecure, mediocre' category. You obviously don't understand what I am talking about.

    You guys can be pretty brutal and opinionated sometimes.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I give out any of my recipes anyone wants...
    My Jalpeno Poppersa guy at work asked me for the recipe.After I got home I realized I forgot to tell him I chop up ham lunchmeat and add to the cheese,I didn't worry to much figured it wouldn't make a big difference.Apparently it does,he said his were good but not as good as mine! LOL! But it was an honest mistake,I didn't let it out on purpose.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    danihoney,

    I don't think anyone was lumping you into a category. Of course there are exceptions and good reasons people may not share recipes. If you know that the basis for your 'not sharing' is more of a family joke or tradition and isn't based on selfish or insecurity reasons, then you really don't need to take the judgmental opinions to heart.

    Sorry, but to me it does seem a little immature for someone to consciously withhold an ingredient just so the recipe doesn't turn out as well. And, I thought sharing (yes, even in adulthood and even with recipes) is considered the right thing to do. It may be brutal opinion, or one some don't like to hear, but it doens't make it wrong or not worth mentioning on a thread of this subject manner. Maybe it will make some think twice about sharing and how others may perceive them when they don't share recipes.

    Honestly, if I asked someone for a recipe and they didn't share it.. I wouldn't think oh, wow, they must be a great cook and have a great recipe they have to hide from everyone. I would think.. gosh, I guess they aren't confident about the other things they cook enough to share this one recipe. I would actually think a lot less about them as a cook and probably consider them somewhat petty. I really would think there would be some people reading this post that may really like to know that they may be judged that way. Plus, I'd probably easily be able to find the recipe on line anyway.

    Funny, but I have never asked for a recipe and not had someone give it to me. It's generally just considered common courtesy amoung cooks to share recipes. Sorry if I've offened anyone... just hoping you may think twice about sharing your recipes next time.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I will freely give my recipes out, however, like most here, don't tweak it and tell me I left something out on purpose. I would never do that, since I feel honored that you asked for it. We have a lady at work, that can't boil water, who accused me of omitting something in a recipe I gave her. Needless to say, I have never given her another one. I rarely use recipes...except for guidance. I also rarely ask for another's recipe, as I would rather THEY make it than me. LOL

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    When my Mom would come across a terrific recipe, she'd make copies and mail them to my sister and me. Not only was she happy to share, she figured if she ever misplaced the recipe, she'd just call one of us for it.

  • 18 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I,too consider it a compliment when someone ask for a recipe. I feel they liked it enough to put their time,effort and ingredients into making it.I would never deliberately leave anything out.
    If I ask someone for a recipe and they don't want to give it out then please say so rather than leave something out.
    I have had this happen.I ask a lady for her cake recipe,she was saying how easy it was.I had a feeling she left something out because there was nothing to make the cake rise.I even questioned her about it and she said no. Well,she did and I had to pour everything out.