Just a little Thanksgiving vent, then will move on...

15 years ago

I am disappointed about Thanksgiving dinner. I love hosting holiday meals. This year, we planned Thanksgiving dinner here. Oldest two step-daughters and their families were planning to come. Oldest step-daughter was planning to bring along her fiance's dad and sister. I had the menu planned and we bought all the groceries yesterday... a ton of stuff. Oldest step-daughter texted me this morning and said her fiance's dad didn't feel comfortable coming to our house because he doesn't know us that well (we met him once at a dinner our for step-daughter's birthday, although Gary does say he was slightly acquainted with him years ago). Anyway, she wondered if we'd mind coming to her house for dinner instead of here.

So, I texted her back and said we'd bring the turkey over and she could cook that (easier to transport it frozen then hot) and would also bring over some of the items that can be prepared there. I'll prepare other things here and take them over.

I know she's only trying to make sure everyone is in an environment they are comfortable with. Her fiance's dad did seen to be a very likable but shy person when we met him at dinner. It will be fine. It's just that I'm a little let down at the moment and didn't want to express it to Gary too much. I'm not looking for advice or for too much sympathy. Just need to express the disappointment.

There will be other holiday meals :-)

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Comments (12)

janie_ga
15 years ago
Eric and I have known each other for 20 years (married for 10) and I still feel uncomfortable at his family functions that are not at his parents. He is the same way about mine. So nice of both you and your step-daughter to try and accommodate his shyness. Maybe you could have him over for a non-holiday cook out to get him used to everyone.
paula_pa
15 years ago
Well I can't blame you. It's a shame the man couldn't put on his big boy pants and act like an adult for a few hours instead of making everyone else change their plans.

Of course, it may just be that your oldest step-daughter was looking for an excuse to host?

Either way, I feel your pain. I would be disappointed too.
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gardendoll
15 years ago
I agree with Janie. Maybe after this dinner he will feel more comfortable with future offerings. After 15 years of marriage I still don't like visiting FIL for weekends. I am shy to stand up for myself and at first I was extremely uncomfortable because I was worried about the impression I was making.

There are other sides to the stories - I think you are handling this in an excellent manner for all concerned. I am patting you on the back...good girl....if you are not driving have an extra glass of wine or piece of dessert.

Keep talking/venting all you want. That's what friends are for.

Hugs to you,
Peggy
phyllis__mn
15 years ago
I can understand your feelings, but think it's great that you are flexible. Have a wonderful time!
chisue
15 years ago
It's the WHO not the WHERE. Enjoy the day.
nicole__
15 years ago
The fiances dad is an a$$! Big boy pants.....lol yep...

I'm glad you went along with the "new" plan....somebody had to have some sense. It's just food....same people no matter where you have it. :0)
arcy_gw
15 years ago
Possibly a personal invitation from you would have made a difference. I know I would never feel comfortable as a tag a long until I had heard from the hostess, herself.
juellie1962
15 years ago
It's great that you're flexible; I understand your feelings. I REALLY wish all people would just open up and relax about holidays.

Several times I've invited people over that have no where else to go and they've declined saying that "they wouldn't feel right"......Holidays are not mean to be spent alone. I LOVE having "loners" over and making them feel welcome and showing them a good time!
roseluver
15 years ago
I have hosted Thanksgiving at our home for over 25 years. My daughter-in-law's mother has decided to cook Thanksgiving dinner at her house. Of course, we are not invited. My son wanted to come for noon leftovers or what ever we could work out. So we are changing the time for ours from noon to 6:00. Not bragging, but I am an excellent cook and his mother-in-law makes an effort and that is about all I can say. I am not happy about it nor is the rest of the family. I didn't have a choice. Why she decided to do this is a good question. I guess I am just to old to accept change.
workoutlady
15 years ago
I think you are doing a very nice thing. Maybe next year you could host again when he knows you better. I'd also do like someone else and give him a personal invitation. I know I won't go if I don't have an invitation especially if it is somewhere I've never been.
samkaren
15 years ago
Just my little vent....for me..if it wasn't Thanksgiving, then it was Christmas, Easter..etc. Never a holiday without drama or disappointment.

Hope you can enjoy your day regardless.

SamKaren
your resident DJ
sue_va
15 years ago
How old is this man? Knowing that might help to understand his reluctance.

You are doing the right thing. My DM had a little saying for situations like this: Anything to keep peace in the family. I'll never forget that.

In my case, we always had "everybody" for holiday dinners at our house, including newcomers to our church. Now that even the grand children are married and that means other families in the picture, and my DH passed many years ago, holidays aren't what they used to be.

But I go with the flow, or else I would be left stranded, all alone. Thanksgiving will be at my DGD's. She is a great cook, (although my dressing is better than hers!)

I still have Christmas here, and all the family understands that. No ifs and or buts.

Sue

Just a little Thanksgiving vent, then will move on...

Comments (12)

janie_ga

paula_pa

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