i understood you will be at moms on either day ... i was joking about holiday time ... you refill the hole WITH NATIVE SOIL ... you get it from somewhere else on the property ... besides... this time of year.. with the plants dormant.. there is no reason not to bare root them.. and leave all the soil there ... wrap them like a burrito in some newspaper... wet.. and wrap in a plastic grocery bag ... just to keep the wet paper from making a mess in the car.. the plant above is NOT wrapped in plastic ... should last at least a few days as such ... plant when you get home ... no need to pot them ... simply plant them ... the seeds got near the foundation.. from a bird sitting on the gutter or roof edge.. finishing the digestive process ... wink wink.. if you know what i mean ... lol ... if the trees in your area are changing color... then you can basically presume.. all plants are dormant or nearly so ... expect any leaves to fall off soon after moving ... you have been warned.. do whatever pleases you ... thats how i learned.. when 10 years later.. i cursed moving a ROS for the billion seedlings popping up everywhere.. only took me 5 years to kill them all ... ken

Ack! Thing! My Dearest Pal, Thing! I have been remiss again and not posted you my THANKS! Please forgive my lack in grace. I have not been myself and am very red in the face. As I creaked open this ghoulish box one cold and dreary night, out came tufts of spider webs flying through the air to catch in my hair. I felt creepy and spooky and all together ooky with all the frightful sights peering out at me from inside the devilish darkness that was looming within. A skeleton face stared back into my eyes. I nervously reached in to extract him with care, buried below was a dead gardener named Tracy. She was nothing but bones although wearing her finest gardening gear, sun hat complete with cobwebs and spiders. Cover-alls with TRACY stencilled across the bib, garden gloves and trowel on hands,ready to tend her gardens of the crypt. I then opened the black satchel that had the skull face with it's piercing glare. Inside were delightful treats to be shared. "Songs of Terror" CD to set the mood, Garden Plant Markers and Pencil with Bats flying out, Irises Superstition and Dangerous Mood, Tulips Queen of the Night to help add to my fright! There were orange and black spiders on webs and an icky, creepy, disgusting, gigantic centipede slithering about on top of the most adorable goody bags with Halloween critters flitting about, one final bundle contained nothing but sweet treats within! M&M's, Snickers, Milky Ways, Twix's and Nice Hershey Kisses! It was a wonderful night filled with Halloween Fright from my very special friend, Thing! Thank you Thing, with all of my heart! You made my day, cheered my mood, made me laugh and my children delight in all your generous sharing and heartfelt caring. I do apologize for my bad manners. Please forgive me for thanking you so late. Your gifs are loved and deeply appreciated. Many hugs! Tracy

I have loved reading all the posts and gives me comfort that there are a lot of people who are experiencing the same thing as me. I too miss both my parents, still. My mom died 9 years ago from ovarian cancer and my Dad died 6 years ago after a long battle with renal failure and being on dialysis as a result. I cared for both my parents for years while they were ill. We had always been close and saw each other almost every day of my life. The last few years we all lived together while I was working full time, married and raising two boys. I was so busy with everything that I did not have time to stop and think about what was going to happen when they were gone. I miss them terribly every day and wish I would have just stopped and talked for hours on end to them while they were ill instead of doing the laundry, cleaning the house or grocery shopping or cooking. I am thankful I was able to provide them a safe home to live in and never had to place either one in a nursing home. Both boys are now grown and away from home, my husband works out of town a lot and recently my Uncle (my Mom's brother) has moved in with us after having several mini strokes and can no longer live alone. This has brought back the memories of caring for my Mom and Dad and makes me miss them more and more. I still work full time and this was a huge adjustment as my husband & I were just getting used to being empty nesters and had begun taking trips. We have adjusted accordingly and I am thankful once again that I am able to give my Uncle the care he needs without going to a nursing home. Grief can only be dealt on a day to day basis. Sometimes I can handle it and sometimes I just need a good cry. I think about all the great times we had and that makes me happy, but then the grief creeps back in because I can no longer talk to, smile at, laugh with, cry with or hug my parents ever again. My only comfort is knowing I will see them again one day in Heaven and that is what keeps me going day to day.

For anyone who may be wondering if Chazlie is the norm, let me clarify. Chazlie is a classic case of a person who has been wounded at a crucial point in life - maybe more than once. He has a deficit of compassion, love and respect for women as a whole. He justifies his acting out by belittling those who live a life he cannot fathom, one of true intimacy and security. I can predict fairly easily that such a man does not have a partcularly close, loving relatioship with his own mother, and I would also guess that his wife struggles with some codependency. He would probably argue both these points, since it is so hard to look internally when such a deep pain exists. The brain works exceedingly hard to "feel good" - and such acting out (yes, it's acting out, it's not socially acceptable, reasonable, nor is it normal) - is an attempt to make up for the pain that exists mentally and emotionally. That is the ONLY reason people are self destructive - and yes, blocking real intimacy through multple partners and infidelity is without question self destructive. This is sad, no matter how you slice and dice it.