Many professionals carry & use the shoe covers. Get some. It'd be very rude to keep your shoes on when someone wants guests to remove them but putting covers on with an explanation (I have a foot condition requiring shoes...) is reasonable - or ask. I'd view someone keeping shoes without asking and having a reason if I wanted otherwise akin to someone smoking in my home without regard to my desires. After all, it's their house, therefore, their rules.

Don't be embarrassed that you have a condition you can't control. It's probably bigger to you than to your hosts. I'd consider it similar to crutches. A reason to use them if you take precautions as a courtesy to comply with the intent of the host's rules.

The carpet cleaners left some neat plastic covers to wear over shoes for our use while the carpets were wet. I think I would invest in something like that....and quickly add, that most people who see me struggle (DIL for one) from car to house, always says "don't bother,,,you are fine"... and is much more strict with her son and husband and FIL.

I wouldn't ask anyone to remove their shoes, but if I was
asked it would be okay with me.
Just say you have trouble walking without your shoes, they
should be okay with that. They might still want you to put on slippers,
hopefully they would understand that slippers won't work for you.

I understand that some cultures prefer you take your shoes off. But we aren't in those cultures, are we? I personally think removing shoes or asking someone to is a little disrespectful in and of itself. I remember once my husband was embarassed because he had a hole in his sock and often I wear shoes without socks and my feet aren't manicured at all (meaning like only half of my toes have polish on them, etc...). I would be very embarassed to have to walk around like that.

I would probably offer no explanation and just not remove them or offer something vague, like, I don't feel comfortable removing them.

Our undergarments (including socks) are generally covered up here in the US. Asking to expose them for sake of culture or cleaner floors is kind of rude.

You can hope you won't have to remove your shoes, but there are some hardliners out there. A few years ago I left my niece's shower because the hostess insisted that I remove my shoes and I refused. Like you folks, I cannot walk without shoes. I explained quietly and politely but she would not budge. She didn't provide slippers. It was a beautiful, dry day. All the other guests complied, including my 78 year old mother who has the same foot conditions I have, and who was furious with me for leaving.

That is the only time I have ever been asked to remove my shoes. If I ever am again, I will try to make my point but will leave if I have to. In my opinion, it is a ridiculous policy. I live in the cold, snowy midwest and certainly would never wear wet shoes in someone's home. If it hadn't been a beautiful day, I would have taken another pair of shoes to wear inside. But not slippers. I was well-dressed, and shoes, imo, are an important part of one's ensemble.

This debate rages periodically over on the home dec forum. I am in the minority over there.

You are welcome to wear shoes in my house. In fact it is encouraged. I don't want anyone to fall on slippery floors, nor am I such a cleanliness freak that I am going to rush out and clean my floors the minute you leave if you keep your shoes on.

People taking their shoes off is a kinda new Phenomenon done out of respect in keeping people's homes clean and I have wondered when this started. My friends in Maryland don't do it. Personally, I would rather keep my shoes on. The door mat should fix all of those worries.

HOWEVER,I am quite sure it is thought by the homeowner that it is more important to make people comfortable. Once you "ask permission" that will end the problem.

BTW, people here are doing two sided face/cheek kisses. My middle eastern friends always do this but it has caught on and you one never knows when another one is coming. Lock noses sometime. We are becoming very la de da.

Nope, unless the weather was awful, muddy or snowy, I just leave and say "thanks for the invite but I cannot stay".

I have never encountered anyone who asked their guests to remove their shoes. If you know you are going to someones home that will make such a request, bring slippers and put your orthotics in the slippers. If you don't have orthotics, you can buy them in a pharmacy for about $25.00. (You can also have them done by a chiropodist/podiatrist and your insurance might cover the cost (several hundred dollars). Bootie covers for your shoes is another option. I have suffered several bouts of plantar fasciitis and it is very very painful. I haven't had a flare up in several years and am very thankful. Whenever I feel the slightest discomfort, I immediately put on heels until the discomfort passes.

I am with Shermmann. I think it is rude rude rude to expect guests to remove their shoes.

The only exception I will make is if it is truly truly cultural. In parts of the world shoes are off because people have one space only for eating sleeping etc. But if your grandparents and great grandparents allowed shoes in their homes and you have suddenly decided that it is "your" culture I call BS.

I don't want to have to walk around in socks or bare feet on YOUR floors which have who knows what germs and stuff from others feet on them. Not to mention what might be on the bathroom floor. Then I am supposed to put my feet back into my shoes!!!! I don't think so. If you value floors more than your guests then consider me off your "guest" list. Please.

The things we walk through with our shoes in the world outside of our home are foul. I don't want to think of those things on my floor at home. People spit, urinate and litter the streets and parking lots. There are also motor oil, gas, transmission leaks, carcinogenic lawn pesticides, and animal feces. I am sure restaurant floors and grocery store floors have the contaminants mentioned above, from thousands of people. I think that most decent folk's floors in their homes are cleaner than what is out in the public streets, yards and sidewalks and should be respected.

I dont entertain anymore but I think it is wonderful that a lot of people carry shoe covers. One DS was married to a Korean gal and it was expected to take off shoes.

I was only asked once. We were the new couple in our little neighborhood and while walking down the small street our neighbors asked us in for a cup of coffee. We followed them through the garage and as they removed their shoes they asked us to remove ours. They were from the Netherlands and this was their custom. We were happy to comply and since it was winter our shoes were dirty and wet.

However if you're invited to a home and you haven't been informed ahead of time then I think the host or hostess should have a supply of disposable booties or foot covers available. If I knew about the request before going I would bring a pair of slippers.

Just carry a pair of clean socks in your car and when asked to remove your shoes, and don't want to, just pull the socks over your shoes. I used to work in real estate and this was done - works well.

I remember, over 50 years ago, some families asking this in poorer sections of the city, when they got their first ever carpeting installed, and were terrified that it got dirty.

Only other place I have ever heard it was again, over 50 years ago, in southern farm houses (where it made sense because chickens, etc. ran free in the yards.

I would say that for medical reasons I cannot walk on my bare feet...I'd carry shoe covers or a very large men's sock as suggested above. They sell a very large size of men's socks that should fit over a shoe. If that's not good enough, I'd just leave. It's not worth going to some party to re-injure a foot problem that could have taken years to get healed and not to mention perhaps 1000s of dollars in medical bills! UGH!

I don't like people to wear their shoes in my house and all my friends take their shoes off at the door...I do the same at their houses

A few random thoughts

First, this topic is EXTREMELY influenced by regional customs. In some areas, it's rude to wear shoes in the house, in others it's rude to ask that. Where I live? going to someone's home and taking off your shoes is beyond rude--people would look at you as if you had 2 heads if you made yourself that 'at home'. And there's a reason--it IS rude to put your home furnishings over the comfort of your guests. Carpets can be cleaned--I do mine frequently and it's not that much more trouble than vacuuming, a steamer isn't very expensive, and they come out looking new, no matter how much stuff has spilled or been tracked on them.

But that's not the problem here. I've got plantar fasciitis, and honestly? It's not an embarrassing condition to admit to. I would have no problem letting my hostess know that my health issues required that I wear shoes. If I had many friends who had the 'no shoes inside' rule in their homes? I'd buy an appropriate extra pair of shoes and keep them for indoor only use, and change my 'outside' shoes at the door for my 'inside' ones. It's one solution you might consider.

But if you want my total honest opinion (and remember what I said above about the shoe culture in my area)--if I got to the door and someone asked me to remove my shoes? I'd turn around and leave. Aside from the plantar F. issues, I'm not going to chance stepping on a stray needle someone may have lost in the carpet, glass slivers if something broke, or risk getting Athelet's Foot or other contagious foot conditions. It's not sanitary or safe, IMO, to have a bunch of strangers running around barefoot.

But let me reiterate--that's all just my opinion, and you will find the rules for this specific issue are very regional

wow, I never think of keeping my shoes on when I'm in someone's home. It's completely automatic for me to undo/remove my shoes soon as I come in the front door.
People take theirs off when they come to visit, as well.

Unless I'm told specifically that it's okay to keep them on; off they go.

I ask people to remove their shoes just to preserve the carpet, but if someone with a medical condition like yours were to visit I wouldn't hesitate to let you in and be comfortable with your shoes on.

If it is cultural ettiquette, I would ask prior to the visit what would be acceptable. I would carry the booties or bring slippers wherever I went anyway, just in case.

And don't be embarrassed, none of us are perfect!

It is not about being embarrased. It is about being courteous. I am sure that those of you who don't want dirt tracked onto to your pristine floors would get the vapors if you saw my feet...and the chronic fungi that afflict me. I am contagious, and have been for years.

I have not one but two different fungi. Believe me, they are ugly, gross, uncomfortable, and CONTAGIOUS! Because I had kidney cancer I will never be able to take meds to control/cure them. I will die with foot
fungi.

I prefer not to go about the world as the Typhoid Mary of fungal
diseases, so except for my husband and doctors, no one knows.
I prefer to live my life privately and with integrity. I do not spread the foot fungus I acquired somewhere because I do not, cannot be barefoot.

I am enjoying thinking of all the lovelies pulling on socks and shoe
covers over their shoes to protect flooring from germs! God save the flooring!

I have sort of the opposite problem. People remove their shoes automatically when they enter my home even though I've never asked them to! And it's not regional because it happened when I lived in Boston earlier this year and now in California.

It makes me feel awkward when I have older guests or people struggling to do it and I tell them it's not necessary but they still do it so I stop fighting it. I just let my guests do what they please. With 3 cats, being uptight about carpets flew out the window a long time ago, lol.

The only times I've ever been asked to do it is when I would visit one of my best friends. She was married to a Chinese man so it was a strong custom for them and they would provide slippers at the entrance for that reason. I never had a problem with it. And I'm sure they would have made an exception for health/medical reasons. Though I think she was the main culprit for the shoes-off thing at my house because she would do it out of habit and anyone else who was there would follow suit!

My home is to be lived in. Shoes, no shoes, whatever you're comfortable with. What's most important is that whoever walks through my door feels like an honored guest.

Ron

Our country by definition is made up of many, many cultures. Who am I to say it is rude to do this, rude to do that. I have had pf twice, and if need be I will bring slippers (with orthodics inside,) to a house where I know they prefer you remove your shoes before entering. On the flip side, to some cultures it is extremely rude not to remove one's shoes.

My husband lived in Japan for a while where you absolutely do not go inside with your outdoor shoes. They provide slippers for everyone. I have a prosthetic leg and their slippers don't stay on my foot - not to mention I sometimes can't get my shoe back on without a shoehorn. I of course obliged when I visited there and slid around trying to keep the slipper on. (I have since figured out a device to keep those slippers on if I ever go their again).

So he now by habit always takes his shoes off at the door. We don't ask people to take their shoes off but a lot of people just do it here. Maybe because it's Minnesota and in the winter your shoes can sometimes track in quite a bit of snow and dirt that doesn't wipe off at the door. If it's inclement weather and someone's feet are wet and full of snow I would expect them to take their shoes off at the door. It's just what you do in MN - not just at my house. If they had a problem doing so I'd just grab an old towel and we'd wipe off the yuck so they'd be good to go.

If it's not that kind of weather and someone starts taking their shoes off I just tell them it's not necessary. Some people do it anyway. I think they prefer walking around in their socks.

I did have a visitor one winter from California. He walked through our house and our neighbors with boots full of dirt and snow. We were rather amazed thinking common sense would have prevailed in that situation.

Our country is made up of many cultures but we don't participate in everyone's customs. Not all habits and traditions have been incorporated into our culture.

What you personally want to do is fine.. but projecting your traditions onto others (when it is not a part of this culture) is not fine or respectful. Many of these traditions probably started in other countries for reasons that aren't even present in the US today. We travel mainly by cars, have streets, roads and vacuums etc...

Asking someone to remove a garment of clothing can be considered rude and unmannerly in this culture especially if it is for the case of keeping a floor clean and not a religious requirement.

Cultures and traditions aside, and I had a friend once who asked for everyone to remove thier shoes because they just got a new carpet (this was not a cultural thing at all). I thought it was beyond rude. I was like, what? You're having a party and we have to take off our shoes (like little kids) so your carpet doesn't get dirty? Should we use the gas a station restroom too as to not dirty your bathroom? At some point, when you choose to be a host, you take with it.. shoes draggin in dirt, spills from drinks, broken glasses, and dirty dishes that have to be washed. If you can't run a vacuum after a party, maybe you shouldn't be hosting one.

It's not about not respecting a culture, but rather not respecting the custom. If I heard a half way decent reason for asking shoes to be taken off, I may respect the request. But if it's boils down to simply wanting to keep your carpet clean, then I'm not respecting the custom.

Thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I can carry a set of disposable shoe covers like the ones that surgeons use. I think that will be easier than trying to carry an extra pair of shoes as the covers can be tucked into a pocket or purse. (I guess I'll avoid traveling to Asia, too.)

Here in Iowa, it is just common courtesy in the snowy weather to take your shoes off when entering someone's home unless they say "Don't bother". Last winter I went to a birthday party at a friend's home and as we entered she told all of us not to bother taking our shoes off. She had just had new laminate floors installed. I found out later that the floors now have two warped spots as a result of people leaving their shoes on as she had directed.

I have no problem with being asked to remove my shoes ... especially when they are dirty ... and that happens often when one lives on a farm, not only in snowy weather, but after rains, as well.

On a number of occasions, when I see some shoes inside a door and move to remove mine, I'm told to not, as the weather is fine and the shoes are not dirty.

When I was in Korea, where taking shoes off before entering houses was de rigeur, most provided slippers. There was good reason, as the floors had dirt over stone tunnels, which led from a stove on the floor in the kitchen to a stack on the other side of the living-dining-sleeping room, with paper covering the dirt. Some folks who had foot problems used to carry cloth booties to cover their shoes, with an elastic around the top to hold them in place. They had several of them, to use on successive occasions and when each pair got dirty inside, they'd turn them inside out and wash them along with work clothing or others of the non-pristine type.

ole joyful

Linda, I hope your friend called the laminate people to have those warped places repaired. There is no excuse for what you describe. Either the laminate or the workmanship or the underlay is flawed. She deserves to be compensated.

I'm really surprised by the number of people that remove their shoes when they walk into our home. But I do appreciate it during inclement weather, I have solid oak floors and refinishing them is very expensive.

I agree with Krista marie. The things you walk through on sidewalks and parking lots are pretty gross. I'd hate to walk with my shoes on through someone's home who had crawling babies or pets who lick their little paws. We don't have either, so it doesn't bother me.

I do think if people insist you remove your shoes they should provide covers and/or washable slippers.

As Sherrmann wrote, this debate rages every so often over on the Home Dec forum (I think it's also come up a few times on the Apartment Therapy blog).

I think if someone is hosting a party and doesn't like people wearing their shoes inside, that detail needs to be put on the invitation (whether by e-mail, snail mail or phone). This way, the host doesn't put the guest in an unexpectedly awkward situation. THAT is good etiquette to start.

If a guest has a problem with somebody not wishing to take his or her shoes off, that tells me that's not going to be much of a party, with a host who is more worried about flooring and traipsed-in dirt than about guests having a good time.

And I'm sorry, but I'm not keeping a pair of socks or slippers in the car all the time "just in case."

But here's another concern I've seen mentioned in the other chats about this issue: What if you live in a high-rise and have wood floors? Guests clomping around in shoes can really make a racket for your downstairs neighbors. And if those shoes are high-heels -- spiked high-heels -- your floors will never be the same. Having written a large check for my own hardwood floors, I do have some sympathy for that. I'm wishy-washy in that situation.

There are ways for a host to be well-mannered about this, starting with advance notice.

It's also why some people who own boats (ok, big boats--yachts!) will absolutely, positively never allow heels onboard. (I'm talking about the shoes, not necessarily the people!)

When it comes to winter weather, all I want any guests to do is use the doormat at least! If they stay downstairs (where there's vinyl flooring and hardwood floors), I'd be happy to swoosh a towel if I see a wet spot. But no such wintry-mess shoes on the carpeting. And most people -- even appliance installers bring booties nowadays -- have the common sense not to do that.

About 8 years ago, when I was visiting open houses while looking for a place to buy, one townhouse had very light carpeting. The real-estate agent requested people to take their shoes off. I saw no problem there (but I was glad I don't wear hole-y socks!).

Concerning the open house I mentioned, had I been suffering with PF at the time -- and I have had some bouts with that over the past couple of years -- I would have asked the real estate agent if she'd bend the rule for me if I wiped my shoes with towels I keep in the car.

Some people just are not aware there are some foot issues that preclude folks from taking their shoes off in another's home. There can be a polite teachable moment.

At home I like to go barefoot or wear socks. I've lived in
Ohio, California, Georgia and Colorado, and I've never
been asked to remove my shoes nor did I see the homeowners
removing theirs.
It would be fine with me if they did though.

I agree with Ron.

Pammyfay mentioned something that is the norm here.
EVERY open house you tour; whether a newly built or a re-sale home, the sign is at the door to remove your shoes.

When it's a charity drive (selling tickets on the home) or an especially attractive home, there's always a large number/jumble of shoes in the foyer.

oh, I seldom go barefoot; I wear slippers in my home, and if I wear sandals, if I'm at Mom's I put on a pair of her knitted slippers to wear.

Anyway I was visiting some friends and they have hardwood floors throughout. She said the part that she doesn't like about the hardwood is that the footprints show all the time.

I have had heel spurs for years. Also a bit of gout from my bad kidneys. My MIL was one of those sticklers. She made you come in her side door and remove your shoes before coming in,just so she could keep her carpets clean. Karma got her though. Just a few months before she died, she put in ALL new carpeting. It cost her about ten grand and she never really got to enjoy her new carpet. When you come in my house, feel free to keep your shoes on. I don't mind at all.

Hi jasdip (to use your correct name, for a change),

At those "Open House" deals (and we have it in London, also) ...

... does first out get the best shoes?

o j

You be surprised how much Comet Cleanser takes out of carpet, including tar. LOL
But seriously, DH cannot take off his shoes because of foot problems, and again, in CA up in the mountains we just never did. Here in ND. some do take off their winter boots etc, but usually have pretty heavy socks on and all the repair people are very good about removing the boots, and putting on their own slip ons.

I have never been ask to remove my shoes, if I were I would turn and walk away. It is a home, not a temple. I feel they are telling you, you are to dirty to come into their home.

I also agree that it's rude (in the United States) to ask guests to remove their shoes. And I SO agree with Wildchild when she said, ""I>f your grandparents and great grandparents allowed shoes in their homes and you have suddenly decided that it is "your" culture I call BS." In fact, until maybe 20-30 years ago, perhaps a bit more, it would have been unspeakably rude for someone to walk into another person's house and think they could walk around in bare feet or in their socks. Personally, I still hate it.

And I don't buy the argument that shoes ruins the carpeting or the hardwood. People have had carpets and hardwood floors for hundreds of years and everyone wore their shoes nonetheless.

Of course, people can do what they want in their own homes, but I think that when people with a shoes-off policy invite others to their homes, they ought to inform them of the policy ahead of time. It's only happened to me three times in my lifetime, but I would have preferred to be able to bring a pair of indoor shoes rather than having to walk around in my socks and end up in pain.

If it happened now, I would simply say that I can't take my shoes off, and see what the other person suggested. If it became an issue, I'd just leave.

Last winter one of my closest friends opened up her beautiful new loft, with high gloss wooden floors, to a fundraiser tour of homes for Christmas. The day for the tours came we had snow. Everyone was given booties to wear over their shoes and boots. After the holidays Sharyn had the floors refinished. So you can all doubt that the floors are ruined by people wearing shoes, even with protective booties, all you want but it is very true. And before you think that this was extraordinary with hundreds and hundreds of people piling thru the loft, it was not. There were 175 people, and we were constantly wiping the floors.

Yeah, I think if 175 people tramp through a newly high glossed floor, it's gonna show some wear, and I wouldn't doubt that Sharyn probably didn't think twice about refinishing the floors after the tour to keep her house in the top notch tour quality it had been in. I've heard horror stories about houses on tours. I don't think you can compare...

"Most" people can handle normal company wear and tear and can go years between floor refinishings.

ps..without seeing the booties, not sure I should take a stab... but could the booties have actually made the problem worse. I mean, I would never think to cover already wet shoes with booties... didn't they just trap the moisture and spread the dampness around when the snow melted? I would have focused on getting the snow off rather than covering it up... that just becomes a melted mess.

I have never been asked that, but if I had socks on I would take my shoes off. At times I will take my shoes off when I go into some of the kids homes as I feel more comfortable.

Sue

Floors are for walking on. High gloss anything will show wear faster than satin or matte finished items.

JMHO but anyone who chooses high gloss flooring has little room to complain about the wear.

In the past people understood that floors,appliances,pots and pans and bathroom fixtures etc. were for function not a freaking art show. People expected things to gain a "patina" over time.

Now days you have people trying to keep flooring looking spanking brand new, complaining that their stainless OMG shows spots, their granite isn't shiny, their pots and pans have OMG water spots and on and on.

I don't know what caused this but I guess it's a new age version of plastic covered sofas and lampshades.

Sad people who have to fret over their stuff like this. Not very much fun to not be able to enjoy things with the constant worry.

But our society seems to have gotten more about show and tell perfection over substance and values. From photos having to be perfect (even infants are posed and airbrushed LOL), appliances being more for show than for use, entire rooms not being used so they stay in magazine condition,foods that are barely edible (but they look so pretty)the list goes on. Maybe it's all the TV shows with the Martha Stewarts and those gawd awful playdough cake builder things etc. We buy into the fantasy and some try to live it. Sad. JMHO

Beautiful, wildchild! I especailly liked the new age version of plastic covered sofas and lampshades! What a hoot!

I suppose dear Sharyn above is rather a nutcase about more than her floors if that is a true story. And, actually, I would rather not believe her or the other woman upthread who reportedly had warped laminate. Baloney! I'll tell you what's warped,all right!

Sheesh!

WELL SAID, WILDCHILD!!! HOORAY!!!

Btw, I live in a house that's more than 100 years old, with original oak hardwood flooring. I have it finished with a low-sheen poly, and though it's far from perfect, it's so beautiful. Kids and dogs and dirt and shoes from more than a century, and it's still just fine.

My old (tired, worn) house was built in 1952. I wish I could say it's a mid-century modern gem. LOL, it's not.

I have the original, 1 1/4-inch wide, hardwood (white oak) floors in the livingroom, hallway, and two original bedrooms.

We refinshed the floors ourselves. They weren't perfect to begin with; they weren't perfect when they were finished, but they are beautiful, IMHO.

We used a matte finish, no shine top coat. Shine/high gloss finishes shows every speck of dust and magnifies marks. I have two huge hunting dogs and a rough-and-tumble DH that live here. The floors are not pampered. They get mopped, once a month or so, with hot water and Mr. Clean. They are swept nearly daily.

I think they are beautiful; not perfect, but beautiful.

Some people remove their shoes when they come in. I encourage them not to; their socks will be matted with dog hair. Some people leave their shoes on.

I have PF, too. I must wear shoes all the time; I cannot walk without my support shoes. I can't wear house slippers; no support for the arches.

Here's part of the sewing room floor and Harry's toenails that keep everything real!

Here's part of the office floor, showing an 8-ft. long cut in the hardwood. It runs at an angle to the bookcase. The previous owners cut a piece of plywood laying on the floow with a power saw. There's a perfectly straight, 1/"8 - 3/16" wide cut crosswise to the floorboards. There's no hiding it; there's no disquising it. It's just part of the floor, just like the dog scratches.

(The ceiling is not "dirty;" it's actually painted the same camel color as the top part of the walls but the lighting makes it look darker.)

Everyone is welcome to walk on my floors with whatever is on their feet.