I am Not the rock of life--my relatives and friends are. I do not hesitate to ask for help etc. With all DH's health issues, I am not afraid to ask for help--if all else fails I cry.
Sorry that is just me
Come from a dysfunctional set of parents--both gone now. They loved us, but did not know how to show it. In the 30's-40's that was just the way it was in my area.

The thing that most keeps me from enjoying life is ... ME!

I tend to look forward to something in the future, or back at something that's past. I fail to enjoy TODAY and what I'm doing NOW and who is in my life NOW. I consciously try to quit doing that, but it seems to be in my nature. It's very frustrating.

My grandkids are in NYC....small apartment which necessitates me finding lodging.....it is a lot easier that way, too, for all concerned.
They lived in Toyko for a couple of years, too and it wouldn't surprise me if they moved back there permanently.

I remember seeing a welcome mat a long time ago tht said NEITHER A SCROOGE NOR A PATSY BE

I've always remember the sense to it!!

I can't say that I am not enjoying life, because I really am, being retired and having the time to enjoy my crafting, having the loves of my life to love, but.....there is one thing I would love to do and can't, and that is travel. We can't because we have no animal sitter and we won't put them in a shelter. All in all I feel very blessed and am very thankful for my life.

Nothing.
I think of periods of my life as a rollercoaster ride - I scream with joy with the thrills, stiffen my back with the scary parts....but I just remember the good parts.

For me it's driving, or more so, being the passenger. Since I was a child I've had this fear of getting into a horrific car accident. I've even dreamed about it. I think it stems from when I was little and my dad had a seizure while driving on the bridge with 4 little kids in the car, and my mom. We had a close call going off the bridge, but mom grabbed the wheel in the nick of time. I'll never forget that moment. It remains my scariest memory.

Now, whenever I'm in the car, especially as a passenger, I'm a nervous wreck and hold on for dear life. Long road trip are even that much more nerve wrecking.

Other than that, life is good.

hgl gaylemarie, I am so sorry for your devestating loss. My heart goes out to you.

I enjoy life except for my cataracts. I am at the "frustration" time, not time for surgery and it is very frustrating.

Yes gaylemarie so very sorry!!!I would have to say most of you said it well for me .Some things I let go some I need to .I have a sick DH also and I have fibeo and lupus and it makes me so tired and I hurt a lot but I have to say my biggest problem is fear!!!!Sad !!!

Lindaohnowga, I think it is so sad tha t people let their pets keep them from traveling. You could find a really good place to board them. I had an aunt and uncle who let their poodles keep them from going fishing and traveling. My uncle loved to fish in the mountains of CA. By the time their poodles were both gone, my aunt had ovarian cancer. JMHO. I had a dog until recently and I boarded him at a wonderful place when I traveled. Now I have 3 cats that I leave home and have various friends check on them while I am gone. Life is too short for me not to travel.

I was always the happy one in the kids I ran around with, the happiest wife and mother of 4, I was happy when I went to work and happy with my husband of 50 years..BUT then DH passed away and I am not happy any more. My DD says I don't want to be..but how can I with out my DDH. I think he took my 'happy' along with my heart when he left.

So very sorry Gaylemarie. Suicide is hard to deal with and 2 within a few months... I can't even imagine.

What keeps me from enjoying life is my health. The thyroid disease isn't really controlled so I have lots of fatigue, I've gained over 50 lbs. in the past 10 years in addition to a couple other lingering health issues. I 'think' that if my health improved I'd feel more like doing things that I used to enjoy.

I'm so sorry to hear about your difficulties. Fortunately at the moment nothing keeps me from enjoying life. I think this probably has something to do with surviving a rare cancer that had less than a 20% survival rate - along with a recurrence and above knee amputation 28 years ago. The most important thing I came to learn is that you can be miserable and unhappy one day and your life can take such a horrific turn for the worse the next day that you'll be wishing you could only go back to what you had the day before that you thought you were so unhappy with. Life has its ups and downs but I can't remember the last time I has a day of life that I didn't enjoy.

Nothing. I'm retired. My health is great. I make sure that I enjoy life today, because there's always the chance there may not be a tomorrow. That's why they call today the "present".

Nothing keeps me from enjoying life. I have problems and my health is bad. But I'm happy all the time.

gaylemarie -- soo, so sorry. so sorry. who's Dean?

I think I am enjoying life, but just a niggling worry about my daughter, 44, who isn't married, and I wish she would find someone who would be good to her. She's happy "enough" but still ...

Now I know that's not much of something to worry about, and in general I'm happy. We've been retired for the last 20 years, are in good health, and go away for the entire winter, so I better be happy.

I can't complain. I feel like I am very fortunate, and, like Mary Ann, I am happy.

Mine is dialysis....im started to get depressed i donrt want to go there anymore.i m getting so that i have to talk to myself to go there.I have just had it.I had a really rough day today with the weight loss my blood pressure gets so low all the time so low today my nurse couldnt hear it im talking low 70s.My hubby had to drop ebverythoing and come get me.
y computer isnt working,that will put you over the edge right/

What I was trying to get across is that we all go through it. Either it be health, family, our animals, etc. It's a roller coaster. It's up and down.

There isn't anything that is keeping me from enjoying life. Sure I wish I felt better, wish for a lot of things but I still enjoy life.

Sue

Annoying health issues mostly. A wonky thyroid,a type of deafness in one ear that can't be helped with a hearing aid and has no cure or fix. The ear thing leads to balance issues (which I'm working on) which led me to quit ice skating for the time being which was how I kept fit and happy.It also makes me hypersensitive to sound and noise so the days of enjoying live music and crowded restaurants are behind me. Not exercising as much has let to added pounds which make me stiffer and achier in general. My immune system seems to be compromised and I have weird little heath issues like fungal infections and dermatitis that I
never had to deal with before. Seems like I fix one thing and something else breaks. Not good for someone who has been spoiled by relatively good health for most of her life.

But I'm still pretty happy. I'm slowly overcoming my balance issues and accommodating to the hearing problem. My doctor is good about renewing whatever scripts I need to put the little fires out.

With the thyroid under control I am sure I can lose some of this weight when I get ready to put my mind to it. I'm not anywhwre near ready to through in the towel and I hope to be in better shape and health by my 60th. That's my goal anyway.

Pretty much the same as Trish.I'm tired of being the one that holds (or at least tries to hold) everyone else together!LOL Right now I'm torn between two places.I don't feel like I really have a home anymore,even though I do.It's just that someone else lives there while I'm living with someone else in another state.I don't feel like I really "belong" or have the freedom to do whatever I want to do.I'm almost 70 and I want to do some things before I die!LOL I'm not saying that I am "unhappy".Just that I would like for everyone to depend on me a little less.But you are right Trish,they depend on us because we let them.I am really bad about that with my kids.
Galemarie-I'm so sorry! How devistating that must have been.I will keep both of you in my prayers.If those loved ones only knew how something like that effects the whole family in so many ways for so long,maybe they would think twice before they do it.So sad.

My downer is me. I worry a lot. I am concerned about my IRA and will I have enough money to last to the end of my life. My concern right now is the economy and the effect is has on the value of my life savings. I think there are two more 'bubbles' to burst before this is all over, the dollar and then national debts all over the world. Meanwhile, we've got people like Bernnie Madoff with their hands in your pockets. That makes me very cynical. At this stage, I should be enjoying life more.

And then, the other day, I came up with a postulate that I don't die all at once, rather, its a slow process. We die a piece at a time until our bodies can no longer function. What a morbid thought! But then, I look back and realize that I have not had such a bad life after all. I have not accomplished all that I wanted to, but I do have accomplishments. I find myself being more reflective and taking an increased interest in things I ignored while younger.

I'm going to a choir practice tomorrow night. We're going to perform at a funeral of a dear old friend. He lived to be 102 years old and is a highly respected gentlemen in our circle of friends. We'll probably do a song acappala and in the middle of it, the choir hums a background while a quote is read. I'll probably be the reader.

I'm getting old. My social life is revolving around funerals!

Uncertainty keeps me worrying, worrying, worrying. My dh has been unemployed over a year. We've really had no big problem paying the bills; but I'm constantly worrying "what about next month". If I could just learn to live for today, I'd be much better off!!

Worrying about my son who chooses to party WAY to much, can't find a job, etc. also zaps my joy.

Wildchild - your health issues sound VERY similar to mine; I've had hearing loss for years, but recently have developed the dermatitis, weight gain (also attribute that to quitting smoking) and balance issues. I can sleep for 9 hrs and wake up feeling exhausted. My whole body hurts and I'm sure some weight loss and exercise would help that! But do I do it???................

It's hard to enjoy life when there's no one to share that enjoyment!

Getting older and retirement isn't at all like the commercials portray. Hubs has gotten quite frail and I've had to take up the slack of things he used to do, besides my still doing my stuff. We live on the second floor of an APT house, no elevator. I have a two-wheel cart I load the groceries in to pull upstairs. Sometimes a neighbor will help me and they tell me to come and get them to help, but about all I have left is my pride and I just can't ask for help. I have to get the garbage and trash out to the utility house in back, take care of gassing up the car, take it to our car guy for servicing, do all the banking and keep our prescriptions current. Everything is getting more and more hard to do, because of my back & leg problems, but I guess we'll stay here as long as I can manage getting up and down the stairs. We moved to this area 6 years ago and after being so active with activities where we used to live, there just isn't much to do here. To be honest, I just feel like I am biding time until I die. Not much joy.

In spite of my eyes I am a happy person, more than I have ever been except during the baby/toddler years. Boy I loved those years and my babies. I smile at everyone and get the same in return. Nothing better than a smile unless it's it hugs. Can't very well go out on the streets and hug strangers. I would probably be arrested. LOL

Wow, I wish there was more positive here. Nothing prevents me from enjoying my life unless I let it. I learned early that in order to feel fulfilled I must help others be fulfilled. In other words, what goes around-comes around. If I can make someone happy or feel good about themselves then I know that same feeling is coming my way 10 fold. I've seen my share of lifes troubles, deaths of family members both young and old, domestic abuse that almost killed me but today I've got a wonderful husband and 5 brothers who love and respect me. My mom has some challenges but I know we can handle them. I have a beautiful home a job that isn't real easy all the time but a great boss who is also a friend and I work with my husband. I look forward to every day and I'm fulfilled. Some things get in my way but theres always a way to get around them.

My lack of confidence and self-esteem keeps me from enjoying life to the fullest. I've never felt I could say I'm happy (except for some moments in time). I'm thinking this has caused my over eating and obesity. Then there's the poor body image that goes along with that. I've missed out on chances to be very close to anyone...intimately or otherwise.

I will always grieve the loss of two daughters.

However, I can count myself lucky to be a Stage 4 colon cancer survivor...8 yrs. now.

I also realize my problems are so small compared to so many here and in this big ol' world.

Even though they're long distance, I have a wonderful son, and precious grands and great grands.

All in all, I do have so much to be grateful for.

Oh dear, I'm a real whiner today...sorry about that.

Hugs to all those who are suffering, sad or sick.

The question is:What is keeping you from enjoying life?

I had to remind myself of that because I'm inclined to chase rabbits.

See, I'd like to make suggestions to each one of you, but I know it wouldn't help, because most of you seem to realize what the answer to that question is, or are refusing to do those things that would make it better.

I am not a worrier; I've yet to see anything that worrying helped with.

I'm 86 years old. My DH died 27 years ago, and yes, I miss him; just typing that brings tears to my eyes. Our two children are settled into their own lives, and there are no problems there, although my DS and those children live in another State and I don't see them as often as I would like. I live in a small Retirement community and at this point in my life I would not want to be anywhere else. Good neighbors, some of whom have become good friends.

So what is my answer to the question? No heart, lungs, thyroid, kidney, blood pressure or diabetic problems, thankfully. I describe my problems as being the same as one of the problems we have in our country: it is the infrastructure!! My first knee replacement was 16 years ago. It is worn out; my second KR was 6 years ago and it was never as good as the first and now causes me problems. Both knees are stiff and unstable. My spine is, according to my doctor a "mess." Sciatica, also. I have to use a cane to help maintain my balance. My cataract surgery went south and now I have poor vision in that eye, and the other is "ready," but for now I'm refusing that surgery. I can see well enough.

So to add it all up what hinders me is PAIN and stiffness; sitting or walking for a length of time is extremely bad. Tuesday my DD, GDIL and GD went on a shopping trip out of town. I was supposed to go with them. I knew what pain that would cause me, so I chose not to go. That was hurtful, too! All this physical pain makes me MAD! Acceptance of the limitations is my biggest problem.

You are all probably familiar with the Serenity Prayer, but maybe not all of it. This verse is important:
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.

And one more thing: Humor is the best medicine. I love to joke and tease, and my friends rely on me to make them laugh.

Sue

Even though I consider myself a happy person, I do know that circumstances in one's life can change in an instant, and like many people...I guess all people...I've had some very low times and challenges, but my heart goes out to everyone who has lost a loved one or who has or is dealing with severe health issues or problems. Having the support of someone who loves you, makes all the difference in the world, but some of us...and I've been there too...have to deal with our struggles alone. I guess all I can say is hang in there and keep working towards a better day.

I kind of relate to many of us with the aches and pains of being 75....even though my head doesn't feel that age. None of my aches and pains "keep me from enjoying life", and I hope I have made a difference in the lives of others. Actually, I look back on a life "well lived" and when I recall the times that weren't, I know that it isn't possible to have the good times without enduring the low ones; hopefully with a kind of grace. I absolutely KNOW, that I have a husband and children that love me. I also KNOW that the trials and tribulations that I have gone thru are part of the lessons about living that I was put here to learn, and sometimes learning those lessons takes repeated experiences. I am still a work in progress, and each day gets me closer to the answers to my lessons.
Nanny

Nothing is keeping me from enjoying my life! I have a few things that could be better, like everyone, and have had some tough things to go through, but I enjoy my life very much! I have a lot of wonderful friends, 3 sisters I hang out with regularly, and do lots and lots of really fun things. I have my bad days but am very happy overall!

Healing thoughts and prayers for everyone.

I absolutely hate being sad. I have to "make" myself do anything.

and "Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference". My Aunt was a 12 Stepper.

Humor is the cure for saddness.

A good friend is battling Brain Cancer and she and I get together for a laugh. This afternoon we are going to another friends Antique Sale, cause we know we will laugh our big booties off.

I didn't realize how much fun retirement could be until I retired. I keep busy with church activities and friends. I enjoy the volunteer work I do. I have time for hobbies, pets and travel. Two weeks from today I am flying to CA for an 11 day vacation. A friend there is loaning me one of his cars so I won't have to rent a car. I will be visiting friends all over the SF Bay Area and going to Bakersfield for my 50 year high school reunion.
I feel blessed to have such good health, good friends and family.

Within the past year I have started to finally enjoy my life. I've always been a people pleaser, always thinking of everyone else and never me. I felt empty and sad quite often and didn't know why.

Last year my biofeedback therapist asked me to make a list of all the important/priorities in my life. I wrote everything down and handed it back. The first quetion I was asked was "Where are you on this list?". I looked at it and my name was no where to be found. That was an "Aha" moment in my life. Since then I make time for the things I enjoy and if that means saying no to someone else, then I will do it. At first I felt guilty, but now I feel empowered and when I do something for others it's because I want to, not because I feel I have to.

this is the best thread ever.....I always wondered if people feel the same way as I do. Now I know.

Trin

I loved Monica's responds about the roller coaster. Being the instant mom of three I feel like I live on a roller coasts the is in constant motion.
I am very happy and very blessed. I am also very tired and very stressed. I worry if I am making the right choices for the girls if we are doing the right things with them, if they are getting enough to eat, enough sleep, enough time to play, are we silly enough are they learning enough...so pretty much I have become a worrier and I have to stop myself and just enjoy where we are in the moment.

Trin--what do you mean? You seem like such a very kind person that I'm guessing you don't do much for yourself.

I have to believe that in general some people are born with a happy outlook, and some, not so much. It's easy to say, just choose to be happy! But very difficult to live that if you don't feel it and tend to be a worrier. That's me, alright! I must say that if I had lost loved ones who were too young to die, especially in such a tragic way as gaylemarie's, I'm not so sure I would be able to see the sun again. I admire those who soldier on, but how can it be forced?
I too am very fascinated with this thread.

It IS a very fascinating thread. What is keeping me from enjoying life? ME!! I wish I had been born with different genes but this is what I was dealt. Other than fibromyalgia, anxiety, and depression ,my health is okay. I am a glass half empty type of person consumed with anxiety. I worry about kids , grand kids ,pets..everything. I worry about the planet and what we're doing to it. Thinking back, there weren't any really happy outgoing people on either side of my family tree. We are 100% dour Germans who by nature are pessimistic. Living where I do, I am so close to neat places to visit..NYC, DC, Baltimore, Phila., the Jersey shore , yet because of my seven pets, I'm reluctant to go. We also have two koi ponds which need daily attention. So I am not happy and wish I could change.

Many of us feel that we should be kind and generous, and we make a substantial effort to be so ... as someone said, even to the point of not doing things for ourselves.

It is good to be kind and helpful, but it is well to accept kindnesses, as well. Some of us give generously, but find it hard to receive gifts gracefully.

I am sorry that some of you have had the pain and suffering to endure that has hapened.

Also, I think that, especially in earlier generations, women were taught to serve others, to put their families ahead of themselves, and many did that almost exclusively, not doing things for themselves.

There's a time to give ... and to love ... and there's a time to receive gifts and love.

Also, regarding the love issue ... it seems to me that if we can't love ourselves, we're going to do a poor job of loving others. I don't mean by this people who are selfish, or who think too well of themselves, more or less making themselves king (or even queen) of the world.

I feel that if God can put up with me, I can put up with myself: if God can love me, with all of my imperfections ... I can not only out up with myself, but love myself, as well.

What's keeping me from enjoying life? Nothing.

I'm a happy old retiree, enjoying good health, with some loved ones (kids, but no grandkids) and friends, enough to keep this frugal old character going even though the pensions died, and with things to do and people to see.

And give the folks on the KT a hard time, at times.

I was looking for my Memeber of Parliament's office this afternoon, and while asking directions had some playful banter with someone in an office ... and they said that they couldn't believe that I was 60, let along 80+. (But don't ask Iva Mae, Dances, Anne, Caroline, Monica, Pooh Bear or Danielle or their families - they've seen me).

Hope you all have a great weekend.

ole joyfilled

P.S. To the lady who was in the car crash as a child,

Have you ever talked this situation over with a trained counsellor, clergyperson, etc.? Perhaps they could help you see this in it's true light, to realize that, though you've travelled in a car thousands of times, in only one did you have such a close call.

It has been etched on your mind, as with acid, and it will be hard to put it behind you, but I hope that you will make real effort, for it is a shame to be so discombobulated that you can't enjoy the pleaures of a simple car ride after so many years by that one frightful experience.

o j

Two.2acres-"Some things get in my way but theres always a way to get around them"
I like that!

sjerin said, "I have to believe that in general some people are born with a happy outlook, and some, not so much. It's easy to say, just choose to be happy! But very difficult to live that if you don't feel it and tend to be a worrier. That's me, alright!

That's so true. Some of us are born with natural proclivities for writing and drawing and other "inherent" talents, and I believe some of us are born with certain attitudes and behaviors and mind-sets.

If someone told me that I had to do advanced calculus, I'd probably faint and/or sit down and cry. And if someone told you that you had to memorize 500+ pictures of houses in three months, you might just say, "No way," and that'd be the end of it. Or if someone told you that you'd appear live on national TV, you might worry and fret. And yet, those are the things I LOVE to do. Go figure. Different people have different talents, abilities and mindsets.

I'm a worrier. For most of my 50 years, I've prayed and meditated and filled notebook after notebook with mantras and memory verses, trying desperately to stop worrying. I've read at least 200 books on the topic, and yet I've only had small, incremental successes here and there.

What keeps me from enjoying life to its fullest is worry and fear. And yet, most of the time, I do the things I need to do, even if I do them scared half out of my mind.

That's how I cope.

Different things work for different people.

Rose

Nothing is keeping me from enjoying my life,and it's gotten even better in some ways since the breast cancer 2 years ago.

I've always been a happy person,and had a good outlook on life.especially once DH retired from the marine corps in 1974,as i no longer had to do everything,or almost everything alone,especially when the kids were little(4 of them)

I've had my share of health problems over the years and have endured 18 major surgeries.I have been deaf in one ear since i was 8 and i'm now 72,all my friends and family know this and accomodate for it,by walking on my left side,or being on my left side so i can hear what's being said.

I have no thyroid at all,it was removed in 2 separate operations,one in 76 the 2nd in 96,so i have to take a little pill every morning to make up for it.

2 years ago i had a total knee replacement,and 3 mos later was diagnosed with breast cancer,had a bilateral mx,chemo and all that.I suffer everyday with some side effects of the chemo,but i don't let it get me down,at least not for long.Oh sure once in awhile i have a pity party,but they only last a few minutes,then i remember there are others far worse off than i,so i pick myself up,dust myself off and get back on track.

Every morning i open my eyes i thank God and know i will get thru another day.

I also have several hobbies,gardening,sewing,cross stitch,quilting and crafting in general.

I come from a large family of 12 and i'm # 10,i still have 5 sisters left and we talk to each other everyweek without fail and i'm 3000 miles away from them.I also have very good friends and extended family.Our last family reunion in 2004 had 321 of us attending and that wasn't even all of us.

I feel blessed every day,and am very thankful for all i do have,and my family.

Gail,i'm so sorry for your loss,take one day at a time and do something for yourself even if it's just reading a few pages in a book or watching a good tv show(if you can find one)

This has been a very good post,and many good things have been said and i'm sure some of us will take many things away from it.

Be good to yourselves,take time to smell the roses,and if you don't have any roses,smell the weeds,some of them smell good as well :)

Enjoy your weekend
Hugs to all that need them.
Kathi

Nothing keeps me from enjoying life. I go to bed looking forward to tomorrow. If my so for good health holds out, I will have something exciting and fulfilling to do every minute for the rest of my life.

Billy Graham commented that his years seemed to have passed so quickly. I identify with that statement, but mine have been happy and learning years.

I realize there are things I did not do in my life because as I watched my mother do them, she did not seem to enjoy them. I have the feeling that came from her mother and maybe her mother before her. I never doubted that she loved us, just that she never really enjoyed us or her life...
That said, I love my job, I love my home and family and I try to enjoy every day! No good reason not to!

I'm Alvy Singer. Yes, there are many people who have it much worse than me, but, they are happy. That's their nature. You can't fight your DNA.

These 2 scenes from ANNIE HALL say it all:

Alvy Singer: [addressing the camera] There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

Doctor in Brooklyn: Why are you depressed, Alvy?
Alvy's Mom: Tell Dr. Flicker.
[Young Alvy sits, his head down - his mother answers for him]
Alvy's Mom: It's something he read.
Doctor in Brooklyn: Something he read, huh?
Alvy at 9: [his head still down] The universe is expanding.
Doctor in Brooklyn: The universe is expanding?
Alvy at 9: Well, the universe is everything, and if it's expanding, someday it will break apart and that would be the end of everything!
Alvy's Mom: What is that your business?
[she turns back to the doctor]
Alvy's Mom: He stopped doing his homework!
Alvy at 9: What's the point?
Alvy's Mom: What has the universe got to do with it? You're here in Brooklyn! Brooklyn is not expanding!
Doctor in Brooklyn: It won't be expanding for billions of years yet, Alvy. And we've gotta try to enjoy ourselves while we're here!

Great thread. (Poor Alvy....holding the universe together)