Graywings, I am very sorry you have been going through such a painful time. I believe with all my heart that your decision-making process has been gut-wrenching. I think in fact, that you have probably been going through what must be one of the most difficult things a person can go through. I regard you as a very thoughtful, serious person who would consider the decision to leave a marriage very carefully to say the least. I am glad that you shared your situation and I apologize if you felt slighted, misuderstood or anyway offended or hurt by my words. I was generalizing, & sincerely believe there are acceptions to these generalizations. You offer a real example of one. While I would never condemn anyone for choosing divorce, the nonchalant slant I've perceived in the media regarding it is troubling and inappropriate to me. I heard radio "experts" speak about the Gore divorce as if it was almost going to be fun. She'd pursue her photography & he'd work harder to clean up the environment. When people divorce, they are making a choice of immense gravity. This is not going back to school or starting to work out at the gym. That's how I've heard some "talking heads" and other people frame it. As for the element of fear, I'm really talking about repressed material, emotional baggage, that has not been looked at & dealt with. You are very introspective, Graywings. No doubt, you realize there are a lot of people who are not. You no doubt have seen your share of people entrenched in blaming others, who don't care to look inside. Such externally focused people are incapable of making appropriate decisions. (Much has been written about how our culture is becoming increasingly narcissistic). The answer to baggage and repressed fear is not divorce. There is no answer to baggage and repressed fear except to face them with courage and transcend them. And then you will be a happy person, with someone else, or living by yourself. And then, whatever decision you make will be appropriate, in some way, to your life. Again, you are a self-aware person who has done a lot of inner-work. Reading your posts for over 2 years makes that evident. Getting to know yourself, enhancing your growth and development, is essential for you. I trust that with your acquired wisdom and self-knowledge, you made the choice that was best for you. My heart goes out to you that you have had to go through all this. I will pray that you have all you need to create a good new life for yourself. I wish you all the best on your journey.

I had mother in law problems, big ones before she died. I also have in-law problems in general that we are able to manage only because we do not live close by, we are 4 hours away. In my experience with our mother-in-law problems, it was all about her inability to let go of her son (my husband) and or love/parent him the way she wanted, despite the fact that he was a married grown man. The only way I felt better about the situation was to put it completely on my husband because it was HIS mother. A healthy mother/child relationship wants the adult child and their marriage to be happy and peaceful, and they just want to share in their lives - the ups and downs of life. Unhealthy to me indicates a desire to control. This is not your problem, it is your husbands. I would sweetly, without anger, with all things that she brought to our home say "well thanks for thinking of us, although I don't know where we will put it, we're pretty maxed out as it is and we're donating boatloads of stuff at the moment because we're trying to downsize and make life less cluttered and stressful. But is always nice when you think of us". If she made inappropriate remarks about my house or anything else, I wouldn't hesitate to say "That is enough. You're out of line. Perhaps you should go". I would put everything else with this woman onto my husband if I were you. I would start a box in the bedroom, basement, or garage with HIS name on it. Anything she brought over that I didn't want or didn't know what to do with would go in that box. I would remind hubby from time to time that he needs to do something with "his box" because it's getting full. HE needs to be the one to confront his mom and stand up for your family. HE is the one with the long standing relationship and its HIS mom. Also, watch alot of "Everybody Loves Raymond" and remember that you are not alone in trying to understand mother's and sons, and all of their dynamics. I just don't think this is about you at all other than you took her son. This is about her need to control your marriage and force an unhealthy expression of love onto her son. Many husbands will stand back and let their wives attempt to handle their husbands and do nothing, especially if they tend to be the peacemakers in the family like my husband. Too bad I say. Make him man up and handle his mom and protect your family. That's his job, it's HIS mom. JMHO

Thanks Robin! I've been googling for free sock patterns, but didn't find that one. Once I get brave, my first goal is to do my basic sock, with a fancy shmancy cuff! :-) francy shmancy

Interesting read. I still think it's a stretch for him to claim credit as *the* inventor of mrna technology. As the author said, leave that up to the Nobel committee. But his arguments I've seen I find contradictory in that he will say things like of course vaccines are beneficial and people should get them, and then spend the next 20-30 min talking about why people shouldn't get them. But I applaud your intellectual honesty and willingness to correct a former statement...I wish it were done more often...