Ah, yuck! I hope it isn't true. The truth will eventually come out. But even if it is a complete fabrication by the Star Magazine, it's out there never to be forgotten by many.

It is being vehemently denied at the moment, at People magazine.

Wow - I sure wasn't expecting that. Just shows to go ya. Sad, very sad.

Whatever reason a 40 year marriage failed, it's sad. While I know nothing about their marriage, I just need to remember to let my DH know how much he means to me.

golddust - good point! And I'm feeling a little sheepish right now. I had some revenge against DH this morning and now I feel guilty.

He has a habit of dumping coffee grounds in the disposal and leaving them there. We have a cheap disposal and I am usually the next person to use the sink. So, the drain is clogged, I run the disposal and the coffee grounds spew all over the sink and the counter. It's always a disgusting mess and I've asked him 100x not to do it.

Last night I rinsed a dish, ran the disposal and grounds and food spewed everywhere. Hubby was already in bed so I said "Bleep it!" and left the giant mess on the counter and in the sink for him to see at 5:30am.

When I woke up I asked him if he saw the "present" I left him. We had a good laugh, but he probably wasn't feeling very appreciated.

Well Deee, you probably got your point across and I bet he doesn't do that anymore. Of course, if it were me, I'd just go buy a new garbage disposal and have it installed. That would have solved the issue too! :-)

I am sorry the Gore's have broken up, but Al has gotten quite focused (or obsessed) with his environmental platform. At least if he did have an affair, he had it with someone that you could understand how they got close - sharing so many things in common.

At least it wasn't some cocktail waitress he met on the road somewhere.

I think every day you wake up and make choices about what you're going to do and what you're going to expose yourself to. One decisions you make each day is to not put yourself into situations that may have negative consequences on your marital vows. Al for all his positive qualities, forgot his vows and his promises he made to his wife. I remember many many times when I was working for a large corporate company how easy it was to get close to people you were working on long term projects with, or having a few too many cocktails at the company sales meetings/parties/business meetings. Many an affair I saw start right before my eyes at these events.

I don't owe her $10. I agreed with her but was afraid to post so when I saw the pile-on starting up and knew I would be next if I agreed.

"At least it wasn't some cocktail waitress he met on the road somewhere."

What difference would the woman's job make?

I can only imagine the uproar if I had posted "At least she wasn't a banker!" Or "Thank god she wasn't a schoolteacher!"

At least with those cocktail waitresses TW met they actually had jobs and were working for their living.

Hmmmm. I wonder what he sees in her?

Personally I wouldn't be caught dead in a dress like that and wouldn't even wear something like that when working as a cocktail waitress.

Since when did looks have much to do with attraction?
On a pure physical level, yes, but that's it.

I said that because many men ie. Tiger Woods, have affairs with women they have nothing in common with other than a sexual attraction. Perhaps I shouldn't have said "cocktail waitress" as a profession that is easy prey for men, but as a former cocktail waitress, I know alot of girls who liked to flirt and dally with the wealthy clientele.

My point was she and Al Gore have a common interest outside of sex that fueled their affair (if it's even true). If she had been a banker or a school teacher and they had that same common interest, my point would still be valid.

LOL, dilly! I haven't been online much, I think I have arthritis in my thumb so it hurts to type.

I just hope this doesn't end up like the John Edwards thing. That man came out looking like a you know what.

Seriously I hope it's not true, but my gut instinct (going by history), something tells me it is. :(

I hope it isn't true either. Not because I care for Al Gore. I think he's pompous, didactic and a bore, but just because I'm getting weary of all the philandering.

Maybe instead of owing Oak ten bucks we should take bets on who thinks it's true.

My ten predicts sorrowful, deeply emotional apologies "to all the people we've hurt and lied to and for poor judgment".

Cheating and philandering could easily be spun into a reality TV sport series and fans could text in their bets.

Kinda sick to make light of the situation  I know so don't jump on me  but I have become desensitized by the avalanche of infidelity in the media lately.

In the grocery line today, The Globe headline was that Gore is part of a gay scandal. Whatever that is.

Naahhhhh. My money is on the hottie in the black dress.

I'll play.

I think it's true. They just bought a new home in CA., and then they suddenly split? Tipper just found out, that's why. lol.

Yep, my money is with Oakley's analysis. Larry David's ex, hum. Stranger than fiction.

She is definitely not a hottie IMO.

and he is?

Hottie in the spirit that the plunging neckline of the black dress was intended to convey. Whether it is successful or not is a matter of opinion. All this conjecture makes it seem plausible that at the very least Al thinks it works for her. :)

Nor is she a "hottie" in my estimation, Tex! Tipper is a cutie though, I think.

But how "hot" or "cute" is neither here nor there. We don't view marriage the way we used to. It's really fine to divorce because we're not getting our "needs met" we've "grown apart" or we just feel it's "time to move on." It's fine to not honor our commitments now a days. It's understandable in our cultural context, to want something more, better, or just different, and act on that desire.

Guess I'm just saying, even if no other person is involved, is it really admirable to disregard a commitment, especially after 40 years, or should we challenge that point of view? I've heard some say, "Any relationship that lasted 40 years is not a failure." But, we're not just talking about a relationship, we're talking about marriage, vows, commitment.

We have a 50% divorce rate now, but are we, as a culture, functioning 50% better than when the rate was much lower? We should be 50% happier, but are we? Divorce no doubt is the answer at times, but it seems it is now regarded as a panacea. The knee-jerk response in light of our discontent is to jump ship. In my view, that casual approach to commitment and underlying implication that people are quite disposable (or exchangeable) has lead to sad consequences for our culture.

As is common with threads like this, there is a fair amount of armchair psychology being expressed, so let me add mine. I imagine that anyone who has been married for 40 years has taken the vows and commitments they made (in their early 20s!) extremely seriously. And making the decision to divorce is extremely difficult, because, beyond the pain of divorce itself, you are giving up your identity in the community as "40 year rock-solid married couple." (And for the Gores, that community is the country.) I doubt that either of the Gores is viewing the divorce as a panacea.

It is neither admirable nor contemptible that a couple decides to divorce after 40 years. What it is is none of our business to judge the decision to do so, in my opinion.

"It is is none of our business to judge..." True Graywings. But a discussion has been taking place, so opinions are being expressed.

People want to explore this I think, because they want to learn from it. I can't speak for everyone, but I often attempt to learn from other people's experiences in an effort to clarify my own values and see the bigger picture, not just to "evaluate" or "judge" the snapshot of the people in question.

Indeed, I could have kept my views to myself, but consider these forums to be a place for relatively free expression. If people disagree with me, no sweat, but I see no reason to censor myself or not put my views "out there."

Even when we disagree with one another, we can still find value in other's insights, if for no other reason, they clarify for us that we DON'T share the other viewpoint. That's a valid contribution, imo.

Personally I think it's Al's lifestyle which induced the divorce. Most of us "regular" folks don't divorce after 40 years unless our dh's are raging alcoholics or we've been beaten and have finally had enough. But he's around so many attractive women who I'm sure are eager to please him, and even though he's a politician he is also a "jet-setter" and is exposed to the loose life of Hollywood and other politicians. And boy are they LOOSE.

I'm just throwing this out there since it's been said he's fighting depression over the Presidential loss, but I can see him seeking another woman to boost his ego so he can feel viable again. Psychology 101. lol

Now he has his Hollywood friends defending him. Last night Jay Leno went out on an unexpected limb, just out of the blue, defending Al. It was kind of weird, IMO..thou doth protest too much all that. ;)

People want to explore this I think, because they want to learn from it.

Given the comments made on this thread and the previous one, I have to disagree with you on motives behind the comments here. Two public figures announce they are divorcing and ask for privacy - not much learning going on. We are pretty much free to say what we want, but to call it anything more than gossiping and speculation is a stretch, as far as I am concerned. And with gossiping comes a fair amount of judging. Also permissible in this arena. It's human nature, I guess.

"Indeed, I ... consider these forums to be a place for relatively free expression. If people disagree with me, no sweat, but I see no reason to censor myself or not put my views "out there." "

I'm with stinky-g on this. Freedom of speech on this public forum, etc.

We have brains. We can't help but think and compare and ponder. Call it "judging" if you will, but it's normal and maybe even necessary to assess what's happening around you and to make a judgment call about it: is it good? is it safe? is it a trend? is it something I can learn from? is it right or wrong IMO?

Gossip & being judged come with the territory when you're a public figure. The Gores may have asked for privacy, but that's unrealistic given their public lives and the number of people who are interested in them. Not condoning hiding in the rhododendrons to eavesdrop, of course, but if anyone thinks people should stop talking & speculating about this puzzling separation to protect the Gores' privacy, that person is fighting against human nature. If you dislike the gossip, no one is forcing you to listen to it.

People want to explore this I think, because they want to learn from it.

Is that why people read the Star and National Enquirer?

We are pretty much free to say what we want, but to call it anything more than gossiping and speculation is a stretch...

Ditto.

Fair enough. Yes, gossip happens. It's not the most noble sort of conversation, but I always wonder if behind this trivial pursuit, lies serious inquiry in disguise. Gossip is a non-threatening way of broaching a heavy subject, perhaps? A "safe" way to navigate through dangerous waters? I don't know.

I do know I *was* trying to learn when I chimed in. Writing things out & getting feedback can be very illuminating for me.

If I may add, fwiw...in essence, I think as long as the decision to divorce is made from love and not from fear, it can be a good choice. But, so many of us, I, probably above all, make too many choices from a fearful place. As I get older, I see consistently that all behavior, ALL choices, stem from either love of something or fear of something. I'm trying to question myself at every turn, "Am I doing this out of love of something or out of fear of something?" Living and acting out of fear is never "supported by the universe," so to speak.

For example, if I conclude, "I am afraid I won't be happy if I stay in my marriage." If I divorce with that mindset, I don't think there will be a positive outcome. True, I can also say, "If I divorce, how will I survive?" Another fear-based choice that is doomed. I don't think I can create or sustain a decent life, married or single, unless I face this truth. I don't think anyone can.

It takes courage, & a huge commitment to self-awareness, to discern where we are coming from. How do we know if we are moving from love, the only authentic place from which to move, or are acting to distract ourselves or avoid a fearful situation? That's really what I'm trying to learn and become acutely aware of. OT & TMI!

Well said Stinky.

This is the conversations side of things, gossiping or guessing why the Gore's are separating is just sortof fun - if only dire health warnings and serious issues were over here, it would be very boring.

If you don't like the content of the post, don't post! Plus, they have to know gossip and speculation would come from their announcement, so I really don't think they're reading the Gardenweb and Tipper is offended by our comments.

I'll put my $10 bucks on it's true that's he's dallied. But to be honest, I really don't care, they're adults, their kids are adults, they obviously have decided they don't want to be a married committed couple anymore.

Having Jay Leno come out in support of them just brings it back into the media spotlight. If they really wanted this to just go away, people have to stop talking about it! :-)

So if you judge other people for being judgmental then it's okay to judge, right?

Internalizing the 'judge not lest ye be judged' morality clause feels like looking at M.C. Escher's work -- gets me every time.

My parents were married 40 years when my Dad died. But that 40 year marriage was not a happy one...I'd say for at least 30 of those 40 years they were unhappy, but felt that since they'd passed 25 years, they would be wrong to throw in the towel. We don't know what kind of marriage the Gores had...and yes, it's sad that a long marriage may be ending, but that doesn't mean the union was a good one.

As for 50% of marriages ending in divorce...I know of dozens of women, myself included, who married at 19-24 and those marriages ended. And they're all remarried...and the second marriages have endured. I think we tend to get wrapped up in the whole bridal idea and not give thought to who we are or what we want in life when we do that first march down the aisle.

If a couple can't grow together, they grow apart.

I don't think we're gossiping or judging. We're just wondering is all because they are very public figures who have gone out of their way showing "us" how happy they are in their marriage.

I haven't read here where any of us are judging them. We're just being like normal people wondering what the heck happened to such a "happy" couple who are very prominant figures in the whole WORLD. I'd bet the farm that the Obama's sit in private thinking the same thing as us. Simply because it's a normal thing to do.

Pesky, i'm kind of torn on the "growing apart" aspect of it since they've been married 40 years and really did appear to be happy. So I think it's more than growing apart.

BTW Natal, I don't read Star or the Enquirer, but both mags have broken huge stories over the past few years and now even the top media outlets read what they have to say. It was on the news one day. :)

Also, the Star and Enquirer true breaking news stories were in Newsweek a couple of years ago about how they're really breaking true stories.

I'm off to buy a Star, be back later! lol

On another note, I saw on the news that the Gores' daughter Karenna and her husband are separated. It is all very sad.

Oh, speaking of Star & Enquirer...I found an old one in my suitcase and it had the guy from Angel with a floozie. Fast forward a few months and it turns out that that floozie is the first one who was busted with Tiger Woods! And a few months later the gossip mags are breaking the news that the Angel guy is having an affair (but they didn't mention TW floozie).

I haven't been following the Gore's. I don't like reading about a public marriage. It's all just so sad.

Stinky-G - your posts on this thread have indeed been serious and thoughtful. IÂm more sensitive to them because I recently made that decision to divorce after a lengthy marriage in which there were no third parties, no abuse, no drugs, alcohol, etc. So it is painful to read your blanket categorization that I simply disregarded the commitments made when I married decades ago.

If you could understand the long period of inner turmoil that led up to the decision, you might then understand why I found this statement of yours to be disturbing and yes, judgmental:

but it seems it [divorce] is now regarded as a panacea. The knee-jerk response in light of our discontent is to jump ship. In my view, that casual approach to commitment and underlying implication that people are quite disposable (or exchangeable) has lead to sad consequences for our culture.

I didnÂt view the divorce as a panacea. It was by no means a knee-jerk reaction. In fact none of the characterizations you made applied to my situation. And, I believe that you are wrong about people divorcing out of fear. I think that people are more likely to stay in an unhappy and hopeless marriage, fearing the unknown that lies ahead as a single middle-aged almost senior citizen.
I stand by what I wrote earlier, you should neither admire nor condemn someone for the personal, private decision to divorce, nor can you second guess it as an outside observer. Even if I had not divorced, I would have found your comments off base. I just donÂt believe that people who have been married for a very long time fit the description you made of divorced people.

Graywings, I hope that the future brings you peace. I'm sorry to hear that your marriage is ending, but sometimes, it just has to happen. I hope all goes well for you.

Graywings, I was going to refrain from posting on this thread - until I read your last response. I totally agree with your thoughts. I prefer to believe/hope that Tipper and Al have thought long and hard about ending their marriage rather than speculate about what might have caused their marriage to end. Yes, gossip happens, but I detest it. Gossip and speculation hurt. Imagine if this thread was about a family member, how we would feel.

I'm sorry to hear of the end of your marriage Graywings but I can tell that it was not an easy decision, that you have thought this through. I am guessing that even though you have come to the decision you think is right, that there is still heartache at what is lost. I applaude you for making such a difficult decision and choosing to move forward with your life, rather than remaining in an unhappy marriage. I wish you much happiness in the future. Thank you for sharing your experience.

tina

Graywings, I am very sorry you have been going through such a painful time. I believe with all my heart that your decision-making process has been gut-wrenching. I think in fact, that you have probably been going through what must be one of the most difficult things a person can go through.

I regard you as a very thoughtful, serious person who would consider the decision to leave a marriage very carefully to say the least.

I am glad that you shared your situation and I apologize if you felt slighted, misuderstood or anyway offended or hurt by my words. I was generalizing, & sincerely believe there are acceptions to these generalizations. You offer a real example of one.

While I would never condemn anyone for choosing divorce, the nonchalant slant I've perceived in the media regarding it is troubling and inappropriate to me. I heard radio "experts" speak about the Gore divorce as if it was almost going to be fun. She'd pursue her photography & he'd work harder to clean up the environment.

When people divorce, they are making a choice of immense gravity. This is not going back to school or starting to work out at the gym. That's how I've heard some "talking heads" and other people frame it.

As for the element of fear, I'm really talking about repressed material, emotional baggage, that has not been looked at & dealt with. You are very introspective, Graywings. No doubt, you realize there are a lot of people who are not. You no doubt have seen your share of people entrenched in blaming others, who don't care to look inside. Such externally focused people are incapable of making appropriate decisions. (Much has been written about how our culture is becoming increasingly narcissistic). The answer to baggage and repressed fear is not divorce. There is no answer to baggage and repressed fear except to face them with courage and transcend them. And then you will be a happy person, with someone else, or living by yourself. And then, whatever decision you make will be appropriate, in some way, to your life.

Again, you are a self-aware person who has done a lot of inner-work. Reading your posts for over 2 years makes that evident. Getting to know yourself, enhancing your growth and development, is essential for you.

I trust that with your acquired wisdom and self-knowledge, you made the choice that was best for you. My heart goes out to you that you have had to go through all this. I will pray that you have all you need to create a good new life for yourself. I wish you all the best on your journey.

I left my husband in what would have been our 25th year of marriage~I would *not* be having a celebration of a love that was not genuine and I didn't feel in my heart. A month later while out eating Chinese, I put the fortune cookie in my purse to eat at home later. When I opened it that evening and read the fortune, I knew I had made the right decision~~"your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself". I've been carrying that little piece of paper around ever since, and live my life by that one little, golder rule.

Ha! It looks like it might be worse than an affair.

It is being reported that Al Gore has been accused of sexual assault although never formally charged after the police investigation since the accuser decided the matter would be handled in civil court. The woman claimed to be called to his hotel room as a "masseuse" which is often merely prostitution. Apparently this particular time the woman turned out to really be an actual professional masseuse......... then things turned ugly.

Copy of police report:

http://www.examiner.com/x-35532-Dallas-Political-Buzz-Examiner~y2010m6d23-Police-report-verifies-Portland-masseuse-accuses-Al-Gore-of-sexual-assault

Article:

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/jun/23/report-masseuse-said-gore-made-sex-advance/?page=2

Here is a link that might be useful: Article