I think it's a grand idea, a very nice way to welcome her new baby to the family. I think it's considered bad manners to host a bridal shower for a close relative, but a baby shower is a whole 'nuther animal.

I think it would be a great idea !!
bopeep

don't why not...my gf's mil just did the honors, and it was a wonderful afternoon.(we've been waiting for a year for baby's adoption to go thru!) we talked, watched her open presents...had a light dinner...

Hope the shower is a success!

Sure! Have a great time and I hope she gets lots of good stuff!

I have heard it is a breach of etiquette to host a shower for a relative but if you are hosting your DIL's shower and only inviting relatives it should be OK. It sounds like a nice party if your relatives are the type to get together for things like this.

I had two showers, one given by a co-worker and only inviting women who worked in my department, and another given by an aunt and only aunts and cousins invited. Of course it depends on your family culture and dynamics. My maternal family side always goes all out for occasions, my paternal family side never ever did anything for each other. Of course that could be due to a difference between 'big city' and 'small town' way of doing things.

Go with your gut feelings.

If you want to give your DIL a shower, go for it, all this etiquette stuff drives me crazy.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but etiquette generally dictates a relative (especially one so close) doesn't throw a shower. Her sister really shouldn't be stepping up either.

A friend or hers or yours should be throwing a shower for her. Do "you" have friend that could throw the shower? Maybe you could even ask another more distant relative to help throw the shower? Sorry, but a mother (or MIL) throwing the shower is pushing it IMHO.

I know many people don't buy into etiquette rules and stuff, but it really does boil down to being respectful, and a mother asking for gifts for her son and DIL's baby just isn't really all that respectful to do to people, IMHO. Even if they want to give gifts, or are really good friends, etc, it's just not nice for the grandma to ask for the gifts.

You should be able to find a way around it; even if you end up having to 'pay' for the party, someone else should be the listed host on the invites.

Sorry, I know you're only trying to be nice and I know I'll probably be bashed, but that doesn't make me wrong. Regardless of if you agree with me or not, just realize that some of your invitees will probably feel the same way. Find a friend...

Google Baby Shower Etiquette.

Shirley

Oh please, around here it's almost always a family member who throws the shower and it's perfectly acceptable. It's silly to suggest that you find someone else to throw the shower who wasn't doing it from the heart as you would. And equally silly to suggest that you just put someone else's name on the invite. If that's etiquette then no wonder it's going out of style.

Baby showers are supposed to be a celebration of the upcoming baby, not just a gift collection and if you think of it that way, I don't see how it matters one bit who throws the party.

I agree w/ Carla, and also, oddly enough, w/ Paula.

In some circles, it *is* the family who does it, and nobody blinks much (if my MIL hadn't thrown my bridal shower, I think her family would have thought she didn't like me). But it still isn't really right. Nto when it goes beyond siblings, aunts & cousins.

My vote: Call the friend and say, "I wondered if you'd thought of a shower, and could I help, or do it myself and put your name on it."

So basically etiquette is just the appearance of doing the 'right thing', it has nothing to do with actually doing the right thing (MIL can throw the shower, as long as no one knows it was her?)

I agree with Paula. It is meant to be a shower of good things for the coming baby. To heck with etiquette. It means more if it's done out of love.
I say go for it.
Leslie

Traditionally speaking Carla is correct. I think things are changing though and it is more acceptable for close relatives to give showers.

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking a few close friends of the expectant Mom to step in to be host and do the planning/decorating etc. and have the MIL (or Mother) to bring part of the food and supplies.

Carla, I understand what you are saying, which is why I posed the question. Maybe I'll offer to have the shower and ask the girlfriend and sister to help out in some way.

I'm just afraid there will be no shower, and that would be so sad. She does work, and they might have one for her there, but it's nice to have a shower for friends and family too. Heaven knows you need enough stuff for a new baby to benefit from two showers!

Thanks everyone for the input. I'm so excited--first-time grandma to a little boy!

PishPosh~~~I did my DD's baby shower 17 years ago at my house had about 70 people family, friends, husbands, boyfriends and kidlets it was wonderful!!

I am now in the party planning process of doing one for her again~~she tells me to do the parties since I am an uber party planner. Again we are inviting over 100 people and it will be at her house this time with a magarita machine and a nacho cheese machine:) We party down in our family!!

What does it matter?? I just do not understand??? It is a party to welcome a new baby that is for everyones enjoyment! I have way more $$$ to spend doing a big party than her single parent friends.

Socks do and have fun doing it!!