No, I did very well in that respect, and I think it's because I lost my mother so early. I learned at a young age (9) that life is fragile and things can turn on a dime quite suddenly.

Having said that, I do wish that I had commiserated with my mother-in-law when she said things like, "It's terrible to get old." Instead of saying, "Tell me what's going on," I said, "Oh, you're not old," thereby blowing off her fears and concerns. When she was in her 70s I was in my 30s. That's my excuse. I was young.

Yes, I do. I am sure there were many great stories to be told if anyone would just listen. Vique.

No, I think I did everything I could.

Gayle

While I did give my parents lots of attention & love, and didn't have many relatives, I so wish I'd recorded stories of their early years- more about their parents, & grandparents, etc. Both were born in early 1900's & they grew up ways so different from my children & grands. Often wish my Mother could see the wonderful travel & nature shows we get on TV today, and my Dad the Modern Marvel shows. But then, on second thought I suppose they already know about all that- considering where they are now. Gone for over 40 years now, I still ache for them at times.

I'm sure all of us have wishes/regrets about something.
Suzi

I think about that all the time. I wish I would have done one of those videos that people talk about, of an older relative. My MIL was from the "old country". She had some interesting tales to tell of her youth. No one else seemed interested to listen, except me.
Other relatives, I wish I had conversations with, instead of just passing talk.
Yes, I too, wish I had done more. BUT, we can make up for it by, paying more attention to those we DO have.

I just wished I'd hugged my mother more.

I surely do!

Not really.

Yes at times.

YES! I've thought about this very question that you ask. As my grandkids get older and have lives of their own...and go about their days and don't think of me...I wish I had spent more time with my grandparents..and listened to them more. I know they wanted me to, but I had a life of my own...I can see me in my grandkids...

You guys are making me tear up. Wish I had asked my mom more questions about her life in Japan, growing up and her family.

I knew as everyone else did that knew him, that my Daddy was a good and very kind man, yet, I showed him little attention...Too busy in my own playful world...I was 14 when he died...He was only 51 years old.
My only, older, sister died from a brain tumor(s) five years ago...I never liked talking on the phone, but she'd call fairly often, and though I'm far from being one...She would always say, "Hey, kid."...
How I would love to hear her voice again.

Yes, I sure do. My grandparents were form the "old country". They moved to Minn. from Germany in 1913 when they were in their mid 20's. They never learned much English. They were also firm believers that kids should be seen and not heard. I never had a real conversation with either one of them. I'm sure they would have had some great stories.

Ron

Oh, sure I do, all the time. Years ago my Daddy told me that "no matter what you do for people you love, when they're gone, you always wish that you had done more." To which I laughed and said, "Well, thanks very much for the guilt, Daddy!" I knew he was telling the truth, even then.

I wish that my grandma and I had done less talking about day to day stuff and more about "her" history, what her life was like, her immediate family, etc.

I wish that when my friend, Angie, was dying with leukemia that I had given her a chance to tell me her thoughts about dying, etc. Instead, I tried to be a strong shoulder for her in other ways. Maybe just listening is exactly what I should have done.

I think, as humans, if we have any sense of introspect, at all, we can always think of things and people that we should have listened to more.

Enjoyingspring, sounds like you're down today. I'm sorry and hope that you'll feel better knowing that others have some of the same thoughts.

I wish I could have gotten my dad to talk more about his life growing up. My mom always talked about life on the farm in Iowa. She told my DS the same farm stories she told me. She made it all sound so interesting even though she was glad to get away from the farm at 16.

If I say, "That's what tape recorders are for ... ",

... it sort of dates me, doesn't it?

But while we run the recorder ... we listen.

Even if the tapes/CDs get pitched (by apartment-dweller relatives) on our demise ... we heard them, at least a few times ... and maybe, just maybe, some others did, too.

But that's impersonal - it's the personal link that matters most.

I loved my Grandpa - he used to haul me around on the tractor. The other Grandpa (Mom's side) died before I was born.

I remember little of my mother - and she was with me till I was past 5, then again for a short while when I was about 7.

Grandma, bent over with curvature of spine, lived with us after Grandpa died, and we gave her quite a merry chase, I fear.

Mom and Grandpa were great friends, Dad says, and he died shortly after, a few months after youngest son born, she went into psych. hosp. Dad planned not to speak of Grandpa's death when he went to visit ... and she took one look at him, said, "Grandpa's gone, isn't he?".

Son has set the recorder going and got me talking ... a few times.

Maybe it's time to do that some more.

We're to be together for a couple of days this week, during and after eye surgery.

Do I hear message crackling around my brain?

Thanks, enjoying spring. And ... enjoy summer, too, O.K.?

ole joyful

Yes, I do regret it. I took care of my mother when she was unable to care for herself, but my biggest and probably my only regret is that I didn't listen more. And I feel the same way about my brother, who passed away last Christmas.
He moved across the country from me in '72 and I only saw him once after that. I wish I could talk to him, but as he aged, he became very deaf and couldn't talk on the phone.

I am trying to find my sister, who is 83. She moved and I can't find out where or anything. The sad thing is, we were never close....she was so much older than me, but I would like to find her and talk to her.

I wish I would have paid attention to the old stories then and had written them down. Also all the old family information about who is related to who genealogy stuff.
Clare

Your so nice to bring this subject up so gently..
Yes, the self beatings are still stinging..lost my Dad in November last year, yet it seems like last week...I spent so much time with him, but feel like I could have done things better or watched over him more and he would still be here.. hate that I blame myself for letting him take so much medication, etc. He was so open though, and told stories so "expressively"..thank you lord for letting me have this man as my Father..amen

When my Dad was mad at me for some reason he'd say "You are going to miss me when I'm gone". No truer words were ever spoken.

Doing genealogy you really wish you had asked all those questions and listened to stories. I have encouraged one of my GDs to do that this week when she's w/ her other GPs in Colorado. I told her some things to ask, and I think she will. She's pretty interested in genealogy.

When my kids were little, DH got a video camera and filmed all their birthday parties. He concentrated on the kids and their gifts, not on the grandparents. Now three of them are gone, I wish we has more "movies" showing them. THey would be so precious to us!

On my Dad's family's 100th anniv. of immigration to Canada, they got out a memory book including a genealogy, which I transcribed on to one large sheet of paper when I was President, 40 years or so ago.

I thought that it had disappeared ... but a few years ago, it appeared at one of our annual reunions, with many updates.

They got out another book on the 150th anniversary, 11 years ago, with an update this year. I got one for my brother and when I gave it to him at Mom's family reunion which he hosted, last month ... one of the old-timers at the reunion scoffed it ...

... so brother told me that I was to get another for him.

At Mom's family reunion three years ago, held in a community centre, one of the family that's interested in such things pasted up a lot of genealogical pages along the wall, with pictures of quite a few of the members.

This year, she pasted them up around the (drywalled) walls of brother's two-car garage ... and had pictures for most of the members alongside their place on the chart.

It was quite helpful ... especially regarding one first cousin, who has about 8 adult kids, whom I've seldom seen!

Good wishes for digging up your family's history - including black sheep and all!

ole joyful