I'm printing worthy's post because I, too, am a planner. I can see that although worthy gave us the sequence and some timelines, it still has to be adjusted for your own builder's total construction schedule. I can't find a printed schedule. I can find construction timelines in books, but I can't find a printed homeowner's selections timeline. The only thing I've seen is from a book titled Build Your New House in No Time, by Lon S. Safko. A good book, BTW. Buy it and you go to his website and get registered so you can do downloads of all his forms. He says in Ch. 10 that you should ask your builder to give you both a select sheet and a construction schedule. Using them together you can see when to give your builder what info. He has downloads for both documents but I don't see that it tells you the critical info. of when each selection is needed from you. Best I can figure it, each builder has a rough weeks-to-completion timeline. You have to ask him what decisions he needs from you by what date. I'm in the dark, too.

Chris Bohjalian, who's been mentioned already, also had a book out of compilations from a column he wrote when he moved to Vermont. It's called "Idyll Banter," and I really enjoyed it. Right now, I'm reading "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society," which is a few years old. I'm enjoying it. "The Distant Hours" -- (fiction) about a letter posted in 1941 that reaches its destination in 1992 -- is one of the titles on my to-be-read list. "A Vintage Affair" I read a few books back. Really liked it. A mystery to go along with your cruise theme? Mary Higgins Clark's "Santa Cruise."

I've also heard good things about that book. My DD would go thru phases, such as the talking back phase you mention. Usually she would pick it up from TV or from hearing it at preschool. What I would do was focus only on the most major offense, in this case talking back. I didn't stress over other minor offenses during that time. I gave her three warnings, and at number three would put the favorite toy of the day in time out up in the top of the closet. I would reiterate that "The toy is in timeout because you said XYZ, and I told you we don't talk like that." Usually a few minutes of crying ensues, but it is shortlived. She was old enough to KNOW. She got it. When a "phase" of behavior set in, I usually had to do the above twice, and then she would move past it. The key was consistency, and focus - focus only on that one behavior, and you can usually get them to move on from the behavior. Good luck! I know how it is to not have close neighbors or friends with kids the age of mine. I only this year had a family with kids move in, and it is so refreshing! In the meantime, the folks here have a lot of good advice. And I concur about the book mentioned above.

Having worked in a long-term care facility for several years, I must toss out my impression of lawyers who specialize in nursing home 'problems'. Please read on. Each facility has a medical director as mandated by law. There are some who are in the building regularly and know most of the residents; and then there are those who come in regularly and know only their residents. The second way is the usual way. If a doctor has a decent practice, then that MD doesn't have the time to spend in the facility poking around at charts and stuff. Where I worked, there were three nurse practitioners in the facility 5 days a week and those health care providers did all the quality day-to-day things, including the tapering of psych drugs (also mandated by the federal government and it is tracked by the nursing office and the consulting pharmacist in every Medicare certified facility). In the nursing home where I worked, there were about 200 long-term and short-term (rehab only) people. There was 9 physicians who were following those patients. Most of those 9 came in, but 2 would not come to the facility because of their busy office practice; their patients had to get to the doctor's office. Each doctor (or NP or PA - in states where they are allowed to write prescriptions) are responsible for only their patients and cannot address day-to-day issues for other people. For folks who are in a long-term-care facility and they are Medicare, then the government mandates that they be seen by a physician every 60 days. That's the law. Folks who are recent admissions or are there after a hospital stay will generally be seen more often. That is also the case with government mandated Care Plan Meetings. Those take place every quarter. Any nursing home has nurses who are there all the time, just like the nursing assistants (who do most of the grunt work) are there all the time. If they were not there, then they would have never been certified by the Public Health Department of the state. Those attorneys who claim that they are specializing in Nursing Home problems (med errors, falls, inappropriate diets, pressure ulcers, etc.) and what they represent are the equivalent of ambulance chasers. They are seeking clients who are upset with the perceived care that their loved one gets. If you really want to find out about what happens, then talk to the family members of someone who lives in the nursing home. Talk to some of the employees of the nursing home. If they have legitimate complaints, you will hear them. And remember that a nursing home is not the same as assisted living. If you aren't aware, then find out. There are not 'retirement homes' for elders. They are there because they multiple chronic medical conditions whose needs cannot be met any other place. One is in a nursing home because that is the most appropriate place for the person to be. Jim