My Best Friend is Gone (((MOM))))

15 years ago

Mom had another step-back on Friday. The past 8 months have been a hellish roller-coaster for her. She was incredibly strong, and positive thinking throughout her ordeal.

Unfortunately her mind and will were strong, but her failing body won the battle. Her organs started to shut down over the weekend, and she passed this morning at 1 am.

Mom was my best friend, a rock in my life and I loved talking to her every day on the phone. I'll miss asking for her thoughts, advice, her opinions on news stories (she read 4 papers a day and loved watching the news). She'd call and ask what I was making for dinner, for some new ideas for them.

Her very funny sense of humour. For birthdays and Christmas, she'd collect things over the course of the year, and we'd get a huge gift bag.

Mine usually included everything from tops, yoga pants, Dove soap, sudoku books etc etc. If Colgate toothpaste was on sale, she'd call and tell me to pick her up some. I'd ask what flavour she wanted, and she'd say "Whatever kind you like." LOL, I knew what was going in my gift bag!

Last summer was hilarious. I was going through my goodie bag, and she went upstairs and came back down with a shirt and tossed it to my Hubby, and said You can have this now, so you don't feel left out. It was a new polo shirt that she had taken out of his stash of Christmas presents. It was My birthday, but she felt HE needed to have a gift too. That was so funny. I laughed for a long time every time I thought of it, and teased her often.

I'm so glad you guys let me vent, and cry with my ordeal, and you put up with my lengthy posts.

Thanks so much for your prayers and thoughts, I shared them all with her. She didn't know any of you, and was so touched to think that complete strangers, but friends of mine, would think of her.

I won't post her pic again, you've seen it before. ;-)

Luv Jasdip

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Comments (93)

JoniG
15 years ago
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, you had a wonderful mom, and you'll always have those wonderful memories. May you find peace.
hale_bopp
15 years ago
What wonderful memories and what a wonderful mom you had. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Many, many blessings,
Haley
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I am so sorry for your devastating loss. Five years ago in August I also lost my Momma. This web site and the wonderful people that visit it often were my lifeline to keep going. It has been a long, long journey.....she was a loss so deep that I thought I would never recover from. I will always, always miss my Momma but I have come to realize how very blessed I was to have had for the 40 years I did. There is not much that anyone can say or write that will make the pain any easier. It was just such a comfort knowing that what I was feeling was normal and that other people have been in my shoes. The first few years were completely horrible, the darkest days I have ever experienced. I would go off by myself and fall into a black hole and felt like I never wanted to come out. I had such a difficult time learning how to live a life that was completely different than what I had known. No one can say how long you should grieve and no one knows how deeply it will affect you. I can only say from my own experience that time will not heal the wound.....it will only make the throbbing less intense. When I close my eyes, I can still see her as perfectly as if she were here with me so for a long time, I lived in my mind. I did a lot of praying and leaned on my faith and then one day....I realized the sun was shining again. From this experience I have learned to be more present in the moment. This is how memories are created and in the end, when someone passes, that is all we have to keep of them so I try real hard to collect as many as I can and enjoy every moment I can with the people that I love. I wish the best for you on your journey and hope that when you close your eyes, you realize she has never really left you at all. Blessing & hugs to you....
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Dear flbr3optlc (that's quite a name!;o) ) Honey, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I lost my mom 9 years ago, when I was 40 and it has been the hardest thing for me. To be so young must be especially difficult. You are going to grieve for a very long time. Do not be surprised at how this knocks the wind out you. I would suggest that you seek out a group or a Pastor or counselor to help you talk this out. You need someone. Family members have a way of acting like jerks at a time like this. It can really bring out the worst in people. I don't know if it is their way of coping with their loss or if they are trying to avoid dealing with it. Just try to remember that your brother has lost his mom too and he is suffering. Your girlfriend has no idea what you are going through and she probable feels so unable to help you that she really can't deal with it. I'm sure that she is very sorry and loves you dearly but just may not be able to handle it. I remember when my mom died feeling that I was an orphan. My dad had died just 14 months before that and I realized that I no longer was any one's child. It is a very lonely feeling and my faith in God was the only comfort that I had. Even with that it has been a long journey for me. Make sure that you take really good care of yourself. Eat right, don't be surprised if you want to sleep a lot and get out in the world. Don't shut yourself off. Grief is something that has a life of it's own. You cannot control how long you will grieve or to what degree. It will come when you least expect it. I always said that for me it was like Grief had come into my life, pulled up a chair and sat down and just stayed there. If you have a woman in your life that you can talk to, someone that you look up to and respect, seek her out and talk to her. She will be a good source of comfort and strength for you. I'll be here for you if you want to talk. God bless you dear.
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dollydolots
15 years ago
Dear Jasdip,
I am sending my deepest sympathy & Gods Blessing.

Dolly
mawheel
15 years ago
I am so sorry, Jasdip, for your loss. Please accept my sincere sympathy.
trixietx
15 years ago
I'm so sorry about your Mom. You and your family are in my prayers!
donna_loomis
15 years ago
Jasdip, I am SO sorry for your loss. I know your mother was your best friend. Please know that I am sending my thoughts of comfort to you at this time.
sjerin
15 years ago
Ohhhhhhh. I read this earlier this morning but I was too shocked to write, with the family still milling around the house. I wasn't ready to hear of this since she's been a trooper for such a long time. I'm so, so sorry that your very dear mom has passed, sorry for you and her other family, but glad for her. I know we're supposed to remember the fact that our dear ones who pass on are not suffering anymore, but it's still very difficult to give up the habit of talking to the one who's been with you all your life, every day or so. (My mom was gone for 5 days this past week and in a place without good cell service; it was very strange and rather unpleasant not to chat with her daily. I did think about the fact that life will be like that some day.) I'm glad to know she was still at the "good" hospital with people who knew and liked her very much. I do like to think of her in Heaven visiting with everyone and chatting up a storm. Thanks for sharing your mom with us, Sherry. Come here to wail and cry whenever you want, or just tell us of your good memories with her.
sjerin
15 years ago
I meant to ask how Wally is doing before I hit the button too soon, accidentally.
liz
15 years ago
I'm so sorry Sherry...you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...
Georgysmom
15 years ago
Just coming on the computer for the first time today. When I read kat's post I braced myself and scrolled down to yours. It was read with tears in my eyes. So very sorry . ((((((jasdip and family))))
matti5
15 years ago
I'm so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs to you!
ravencajun Zone 8b TX
15 years ago
my deepest sympathy to you and your family.
ont_gal
15 years ago
OMG,what a shock...I am sooo very sorry to hear this Sherry

Please accept my sincerest condolences.
sleeperblues
15 years ago
So, so sorry. She really put up a good fight. My thoughts are with you and yours. I felt like I knew her.
joann23456
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful woman.
lindyluwho
15 years ago
I'm so very sorry for your loss. You have some wonderful memories of your very special relationship with your Mom. I hope they help you find peace in knowing she is no longer suffering.

Linda
Pieonear
15 years ago
Jasdip, I can't tell you how sorry I am. I know you are just crushed.
cheryl_down_under
15 years ago
I am so sorry, Jasdip, my heartfelt condolences to you and your family for your loss. I like the sentiment that I read once that said "Don't be sad that I have gone, be glad that I was here" and I'm sure that when you look back at the wonderful times you had with your Mum, you will be grateful for every day with her. You are in my thoughts.

Cheryl
rosemaryt
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. This post is tough to read. My mom was my best friend, too.

We were richly blessed to have such good mothers.

Rose
gemini40
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss Jasdip.Be thankful you have all those beautiful memories that will give you comfort over the years and nobody can ever take from you.

June
OklaMoni
15 years ago
Oh, Jas, I am so sorry. My deepest sympathy.

Moni
cheryl_ok
15 years ago
Jasdip, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I lost my mom so long ago and still miss her so much.
You have my deepest sympathy.
katclaws_mo
15 years ago
I am so very sorry for your loss of your Dear Mom. Keeping you & yours in special thoughts & prayers for the difficult days ahead. She fought a valiant fight and now may she rest in peace. You were a wonderful daughter to her & a great comfort.
Jamie_LA
15 years ago
I am soooo sorry! Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
maire_cate
15 years ago
I am so sorry that you've lost your Mother. It's never easy but you have so many fond memories of your Mother to help you. She was obviously a special woman and the two of you were fortunate to share an uncommon bond.

maire
kathy_
15 years ago
It will be 2 months tomorrow that I lost my mom (also my best friend). I told the pastor who ministered to her in her final days that I know she is with her family now - but I wish they all had cell phones.
It gets easier at times - for a while I didn't know if I could even live through this.
This song helped me immensely especially the words "Your Grace will see me through" - if I offend anyone I am sorry. It's the hardest thing I have been through and I miss her every day especially the morning phone calls.
Big soft hugs, I know how hard this is for you. Kathy

Here is a link that might be useful: Palm of your hand
renee_fl
15 years ago
((((((((((Jasdip))))))))))
minnie_tx
15 years ago
I'm sorry Mom wont be here in person for you anymore but her love is still here and you can draw on that anytime hugs !!!
pattico_gw
15 years ago

So Sorry....Hugs

patti
zeetera
15 years ago
I think it's wonderful that you're recounting the happy times that you spent with her already. I'm so sorry for your loss jasdip.
nanatricia
15 years ago
I am so very sorry to hear of your mother.I so agree with every one said.
des_arc_ya_ya
15 years ago
I am so very sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like a great person and I can "hear" the love that you had for each other in your post.

I was blessed in the same way with the same kind of mom.

Hope our moms find each other in Heaven and talk about US!!
pammyfay
15 years ago
So sorry, my condolences.

I've lost both of my parents, and not being able to pick up the phone and chat about even nothing consequential is the toughest part, so I wish you much strength on that front.

I think all of us here who remember the photo you posted will think of that with a big smile.
donna37
15 years ago
So sorry for your loss,your Mother sounded like a very special lady. Prayers and special thoughts for you and the family.
mamatoad
15 years ago
I am so very sorry ! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
taigen_gw
15 years ago
So very sorry for your loss, will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
JennaVaNowSC
15 years ago
Jasdip, I am so very sorry for your loss. Hold on to your precious memories.You are in my prayers.
cynic
15 years ago
My condolences. You and your family have had a rough ride over the last better part of a year and I'm sure have come closer in many ways. Take care. Cherish her memories.
Lindsey_CA
15 years ago
I'm so very sorry for your loss. My mother passed away 41 years ago on Saturday, so I know all too well what you're going through. Concentrate on the good memories, and know that your mother will always be in your heart.
joyfulguy
15 years ago
What a roller coaster ride, indeed ... not only for your Mom, but for all of you.

What a privilege you've had to have been blessed with such a wonderful mother with so many interests, such verve ... and toughness, and ready to be cheery in spite of difficulties.

Thank you for having shared the journey with us through these recent months: as several have said, we all have felt that we knew her.

Your many great memories won't be less tasty, when warmed over!

ole joyful
Maura63
15 years ago
I don't post often, but wanted to add my condolences. I wish you peace.
hayjud_mn
15 years ago
I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother.
Hugs!
Jasdip
Original Author
15 years ago
The obit is in the paper today, with her picture. Thank you Cheryl Down Under, for the phrase "Don't be sad that I have gone, be glad that I was here". It's at the bottom of the obit. I just love that.

We aren't having a service, but family and a few close friends are invited to a celebration at an Italian restaurant. We booked a room, and we're going to play EAGLES music, with digital pictures. Mom and Wally chose celebrations and when it's his time, he wants to play Pink Floyd LOL.
Toni S
15 years ago
What a wonderful, special mom she was. She taught you how to be a speical mom too. That's priceless.
My sympathy to your family.
wanda_va
15 years ago
When my dear mother passed, we had a Celebration of Life. I made bookmarks for the attendees, with her picture and this poem that I found online. You might enjoy it:

When We Remember
You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all she's left
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes,
love and go on.
-Author Unknown-
User
15 years ago
So sorry for your loss.(((((((((((Sherry))))))))))
Jodi_SoCal
15 years ago
Jasdip, my husband has asked me to play Natalie Cole's upbeat dance song Pink Cadillac and the last four tracks of the Pocahontas sound track. I sure hope I go before him so I don't have to explain to everyone that it was his final wish. :-)
okwriter
15 years ago
jasdip: I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you in the difficult days and weeks to come.
moonie_57 (8 NC)
15 years ago
(((jasdip)))

I am so sorry to hear this. I like what minnie said.

I'm sorry Mom wont be here in person for you anymore but her love is still here and you can draw on that anytime hugs !!!
carla35
15 years ago
Sorry to hear of your loss.

My Best Friend is Gone (((MOM))))

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