Hello all... thanks for all the kind words. I am still trying to struggle through the day. Somedays I am ok, but others not that great. It was her birthday on October 20th. She would have been 64 or "39" as she would have said. We went to the park and fed the ducks... she always liked to do that. I also brought daisys and popped the tops off and placed them in the water. I miss the way that I would call her and she would be willing to go with me on what ever adventure I wanted to go on that day. She was always there for me. I know I am lucky to have a person like that and that it was my Mom, but it hurts no less. I am trying to build a new "normal". It is rough though because everything I do reminds me of her. I started to move around furniture in our house and I was thinking that everything I touched we bought together. She was a great decorator and I have no decorating sense at all. I just wonder when the feeling that I am completly lost and alone will go away. The holidays are coming and I hate it. I think we are going to plan a vacation at Christmas so I don't have to think about it. I don't know about Thanksgiving. Mom used to make the best mashed potatoes. This is so freaking hard. I think I am going to check into counseling again. It is so hard because I put on a strong face when I am out, but crumble when I get to my car or at home. I talk to my husband, but I don't think he really understands. What do you all do for the holidays?? Any ideas on how to get through them?

Grief and any one person's grieving processes take as long as they take. That is, getting to where a person can kind of manage their present and their future is a kind of healing triumph. If the daughter is having trouble, or feeling like she is 'stuck' where doesn't want to be, then it may be a good idea to talk to a counselor. She can work out (with or without a counselor) what her goal is, and how she can get to where she can be supportive of her mother. Try checking out the different grief support groups or grief information sites. The problem of group support in terms of grieving or in terms of how to heal is that they tend to have different goals-- so it's important for her to know what she wants for herself and for her mother before getting too involved. That's also why it may be better to begin with individual counseling. Not everyone sees the goal in this kind of situation as being supportive of the future and future relationships, and being able to feel good again. she can ask her doctor, or people she knows about whether they could recommend someone (or you, basically she doesn't have to just let her fingers do the walking) because if she needs good feedback and has a tumultuous emotional situation to sort out, a counselor is a good place to start P.S. If she's an adolescent, or child then she should specifically find someone who is a specialist with those groups. Also these people are in a better place to know about appropriate support groups.

Hello! I had similar issues w/ my youngest skid who was 12 when we married 10 years ago. She was the toughest to warm up to me, was certainly the closest to her mother, etc. And, because DH has poor credit, our properties are 100% mine, including our gorgeous dream house we moved into a year ago. But, my SKids will chat on cell phones, saying their at "Dad's house" etc. But, honestly, I think that's more normal than for your SD to say your house is her house, esp. since you lived there before your marriage. I never took offense to my skids referring to any of our places as their dad's (we have an office bldg. we lived in for 5 years and a rental house the skids now rent) as it's normal to view it as the person you're closer to. I think I'd just let that 'my house' business go. As long as she's not disrespecting your things/house, I'd take it as a small compliment of her approval??? If she starts w/ her being the favorite stuff, I'd be tempted to say, "Wow, I can't believe that - I think your father loves each of you equally, and I certainly don't believe in playing favorites, either." You could add, "If I did, it definitely would NOT be you!" (just kidding - tempting, but LOL) I don't see how he could have visitation w/ her in another place? Does he maintain an apt. or something there? If not, he'd never be able to keep up his EOW situation and I don't think it'd be a good idea to stop that. I think a little meeting is in order. Be honest and say that you're new to this as is she, but you want to improve the relationship, not let the gap widen. Address your expectations. I never did, and my issues swelled before ever a hint of improving. I bent over backwards and was largely disrespected - kept trying to kill 'em w/ kindness to no avail. But, I can't say that, because it did improve - slowly, but surely. You have to stick w/ it and talk to DH - not naggingly so, but just communicate your expectations and urge him to respect your wishes. The dad's are in a tough position - afraid of alienating themselves from the kids or upsetting the wife. I found my DH would opt for upsetting me, figuring I'd get over it, and I have resented that over time but try to look forward, not backward, as hard as it is. Maybe you need a new counselor. We have an awesome one we only began seeing when issues w/ SD (middle child) arose after she moved in w/ us. Wish I'd seen the counselor years earlier - helps DH gain perspective and be accountable! Helps me communicate w/o whining or nitpicking! Sometimes the men need to hear from an impartian third party that they aren't being fair... As a last resort, just DISENGAGE from this one... Keep posting, Dana

Thanks, bragu! Not sure what you mean by "fwiw" or "change the culture." They are in the exact environment but in better, faster draining medium and are fertilized weekly. They were pruned in May and turned into 5 separate caudex-less plants. The original two terminal tips flowered once in late May/June. Nothing happened all summer. All just branched & leafed out. Now all branches are budding and it appears all the tiny little buds will abort. Is this a matter of auxin deficiency? Perhaps due to seasonal changes? If so, what's the remedy? It's interesting that all 5 plants budded & aborted together even though they've been separated. I expected them all to have fully bloomed at least once by now. I plan to unearth them in March to check how the roots are developing, repot, then feed them with a bloom booster. I'd appreciate any further observations & recommendations. I'll post pics of the root system on the main rooted cutting so we can compare against the March 2016 photo above.