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The Kitchen Table

My invitation...

16 years ago

The girls and I just walked to the post office and home...I received an invitation to join the Mommy & Me Group.

I think I will pass! :0)

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Comments (27)

FlamingO in AR
16 years ago
Oh, is that THE group? The one that was so rude to you and asked to leave their party that you had been INVITED to?

I think I'd have to refuse in a big, big way. Something funny but noticeable. :)
jennmonkey
16 years ago
Well, sure didn't take them long did it? You should definitely let them know you'd rather find a group of "mommies" that are kind to all people.
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You could also maybe give your friends a break. I had a close friend who was very self involved. I told her three times what I wanted her to do (come see my very big project). She had time. She was in the area. She made really lame excuses why she didn't. Then she moved away with no notice and instead of calling me where she knew I'd be, she left a message on my answering machine saying the only time I could see them before they left was at a party they were having during my work hours. I didn't know how to respond and the advice I got was "who says you have to?" Then she wrote some letters without one word inquiring or commenting about me. Not the 2nd grade "How are you?" that we're taught to open with. We've been in touch a few times since, but I basically dropped her. I regret it. I know I needed to do it rather than be hurt by her, and I have better friends, but I do miss her and I wish I could have just let it slide and accepted that that's the way she was. Another friend stopped talking to me because I didn't understand what she needed from me after a death in her family. I didn't know why until at least a decade later, when she got back in touch, briefly (I'm guessing a therapist told her to mend fences). When she told me, she mentioned that she'd done what she needed for herself for me when my uncle had died. I didn't know that she was doing it so couldn't pattern it. It wasn't articulated that that's what one does (in her lights) when someone loses a family member. I would have tried. I miss her too. I have closer and better friends, but I wish she could have explained or accepted, and given me a break.
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wildchild
16 years ago
Oh I remember. A pox on those shallow, insensitive twits.
Mystical Manns
16 years ago
Holy Cow!!! Are you really thinking of passing up such a STUPENDOUS opportunity to spend time with GEMS like them? I just cannot imagine what is going through your head, FMW ...

LOL!

No! No! A thousand times NOOOOOOOO!!!
gemini40
16 years ago
It would give me great pleasure to respond to that invitation. When "hell freezes over ladies and not a day sooner."

june
nodakgal
16 years ago
Gemini's got it right!
vannie
16 years ago
Yep!! Gemini's right!! What are you going to do? It would be hard for me to just ignore that--I'd probably say something to the effect I wasn't good enough before, blah, blah, blah. Let us know what you do, b/c I have enjoyed your adventure immensely!!!!
phyllis__mn
16 years ago
Oh, that was you, wasn't it? I was thinking about that just the other day, and how horrible those women were.
hale_bopp
16 years ago
I'd spit in it and send it back. Hehehehee...

Blessings!
Haley ::Evil cackle!::
grinch_gut
16 years ago
Oh my! They are "great" aren't they? Ummmm I would not even think twice over that! Stupid women! STacy
liz
16 years ago
I'm with HALEY on this one...sorry but I've never forgotten it...i'm sure you haven't either...
hayjud_mn
16 years ago
Oh, I remember that sistuation! I guess my first thought was to give a NASTY response. But, then you would be stooping to their level!

If you give NO RESPONSE at all, those shallow twits might be think that you are actually considdering it. You just don't know how often you might be able to laugh-off repeated invites!

I think that bunch can do you, and the girls, more harm than good!
Pieonear
16 years ago
I don't blame you. I'd pass on that invitation too, after the way they treated you. It's their loss.
User
16 years ago
I missed the original story. Anyone want to fill me in please?
donna_oh
16 years ago
LOL, I think I'd thank them for the invite & tell them that you were invited & ACCEPTED into another group called "Mommy & US"

Donna (^_^)
lindaohnowga
16 years ago
I'd probably send the invitation back and tell them they could shove it where the light doesn't shine. LOL
firemanswife
Original Author
16 years ago
The card that came in the mail was scrapbooked and very pretty. Tanna didn't know what it was and thought it was pretty so I gave it to her to color on.
I figured it wasn't worth my time or effort to respond. All my time and effort now is spend on the girls plus it was fun to see Tanna color all over the invitation and she felt special because she thought she got something in the mail.
sheesh
16 years ago
I'm glad Tanna had fun coloring it, firemanswife. You are a wise and loving woman. Don't teach your daughters to be petty and vindictive by responding with a "joke" or mean spirit to the group. You'll be glad in the long run.

Sherry
carla35
16 years ago
I don't recall the situation but I assume it was very ugly. I agree with sherrmann. No matter how much you want to...don't stoop to their level...you're better than that...retain your class while declining their invitation.
sue_va
16 years ago
Absolutely don't respond in any way other than ignore, or a kind "I choose to decline."

Maintain your integrity as you have so far.

Sue
kacram
16 years ago
justgotabme,
I don't remember al the details, but, firemanswife
was invited to a party of some sort and when several
of the Mommy and Me crowd noticed her, they asked her
to leave as she wasn't a member of the Mommy and Me group.
She was invited to the shindig, she didn't crash it.
pretty amazing!

Hopefully someone will come a long and give us the
details, my memory is foggy! lol
Toni S
16 years ago
Well, I guess I've often been the odd man out at the Kt and I suppose today will be no different.

If I were you I would realize that there probably are several good woman in that group along with few twits too. Joining wouldn't be fun for you and that's totally acceptable and understandable BUT, you have more to think about than yourself now. YOUR GIRLS. They will most likely be spending time with some of these (womens) kids at school. Making friends with their class as each one enters school. Do you really want to be the home with the mom who spit in the invite or told them off because your feelings were hurt because of a few thoughtless women? I bet you've already considered this and you will for the rest of your childrens days. It's not wrong to stand up for yourself but you have to consider how this situation can raise you or pull you down in the eyes of many other parents. Take the high road and you will never regret it. Do something childish and you never know who will ALWAYS remember how you handled it.

At least they quickly took action to invite you , even though you can't imagine spending time with them. SOMEONE did think of you thoughtfully.

Many years ago I quit a club that really turned me off during a yearly ceremony. About a year later I realized how I missed about half of them, who didn't rock the boat so hard and were very likeable. Instead of trying to make the club a better place , I chose to take the easy road and quit. I let a few people take that joy away from me. It's sometimes hard to take the high road. It often takes time for the good to overcome the nasties. I'm not suggesting you join this group but to be the best mom you can be so that at differnt moments in your girls future those women will come to respect you as a person. When they see you in the grocery, the pool, the park they will see a parent they wouldn't mind their child being with. One day the girls will ask to have friends over, something they probably wouldn't do with their bio mom, and those parents will say to their kids, "you can go, I trust her".
Revenge only feels good for a moment, respect feels good forever.
chisue
16 years ago
I'd *consider* this carefully. You don't want to 'cut off your nose to spite your face'. Toni is right. If this group is 'the' society you live in, you may have to give them some token smiles. Go along; get along. Can they ALL be as dumb as the few who hurt your feelings? Give it a chance. If it doesn't work out, bow out with some 'different interests' excuse. OTOH, if they are merely curious about your new family... ta' H with 'em.
kacram
16 years ago
to the top
jannie
16 years ago
I don't get it. The "Mommy and Me" around here isn't a club, it's a business whose product is exercise classes.
suzieque
16 years ago
"Mommy and Me" is likely to be a pretty common name. In fact, there is a store I in a neighboring town with that name. The "Mommy and Me" that is the topic of this thread (as I remember from firemanswife's post about it) is an informal social group in her area for mothers and their children.

I've been away for a few days - is there any news from firemanswife? We were getting daily (sometimes multiple/day) updates for a week and I have looked but don't see anything since Thursday.
Mystical Manns
16 years ago
In the KC area, there are "Mommy and Me" groups in various neighborhoods. They elect a pres, charge dues, and organize various activities for the moms/parents and kids. It's very clickish tho, this area is clickish about EVERYTHING.

Personally, I can't imagine WANTING my kids having those kinds of role models.

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