truthisms....or should be anyway....funny

15 years ago

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear

your computer history if you die.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you

realize you're wrong.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was

younger.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5.. I'm pretty

sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8.. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the

person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work

when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for

the rest of the day.

12 Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't

want to have to restart my collection...again.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me

if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I

swear I did not make any changes to.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to

answer when they call.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or

Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and

hunger.
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod

and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up

to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and

sisters!
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,

and you can wear them forever.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still

not know what time it is.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car

keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the

Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3

feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and

the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for

men to realize that their brain is also important.